My tips to avoid/defend against office toxicity based on my experiences. This is if you're in an office warzone and have to play super defensively.
- Do not gossip or say anything negative about management, people, relationships, etc. Even if you feel the pressure to do it to fit in or feel accepted. Assume it will get to your boss. Don't load people's guns for them.
- If there is a problem brought up, give a positive solution to it. "Hey, maybe we can fix team X's problem by coordinating Y with them."
- If politics or polarizing opinions are brought up, just yes-man that shit up or play dumb. "Yeah that sucks/rocks." Or "Oh I see." (Neutral statement). Whichever statement gets you the least stains. And then move from the topic if you can. I read people and get an idea for which way they lean before dropping any opinions. Don't get stuck in one of those gossipy circles.
- Don't fall on your sword too hard for major fails because there are people who live to push you further into it to elevate themselves. This one is tricky because you have to show you're self-aware enough to recognize when you have failed a task but not so much that people can kick you while you're down.
The ones I've seen get wrecked by the office toxicity are usually polarizing, bull-in-china-shop types. They can't keep quiet and basically trip on mines of their own making (some offhand negative comment they made that got reported up the ladder or something).
The ones who graze by gracefully and peacefully are NPC types. They keep to themselves, don't gossip, very neutral, almost fade into the background. Basically a grey rock. They give nothing out that can be used by malicious parties to smack them upside the head with.
Just think and behave like a gray rock basically (actually a psychology concept I see used for narcissists but still effective in toxic office settings). But keep receipts if an attack does come your way. Paper trail of your work, proof you don't engage in bad behavior, etc.
