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"State" control is an illusion - Seek value and abundance

MonsieurLabrie

Tribal Elder
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Oct 15, 2012
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33
Sebastian Drake (Dimitri) was a genius of his own and Chase is a master organizer, analyzer, tester and codifier. Chase improved on Sebastian's work and added ground-breaking theories to it. Everyone who pays attention for a while gets his life transformed. My bootcamp buddy David Tien (Dr Asian Rake) in Singapore is a perfect example. He was a slightly depressed shy-looking PhD student coming from a bad breakup, and now receives praise poems on Facebook from his 20 years old model girlfriend.

I see a lot of guys coming on the GC forum from other schools of Pickup because they recognize rightly that the real stuff is here. Ricardus wrote a magnificent five-part post where he made a distinction between State and the X-Factor.

You can find the series here:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-pick-girls-success-factor-part-i

I'm sure a lot of you went TL;DR, and you missed a very important thing.

Trying to get in "state" is not the way to go. Ricardus described this as an artificial "buzz" like drugs that you impose on your system. I find three main problems with this "get into state" strategy:
1: It doesn't work during the day.
2: It doesn't work in a classy environment
3: You keep repeating the same thing and don't find real consistency

Some other schools of thought maintain that the ability to reach "state" is the Holy Grail of pickup. I disagree. It is useful in some late-night situations where you meet girls that had their inhibitions lowered. For these girls, it doesn't matter if you are a trashy dude who doesn't care one bit about what they say and who just escalates to sex. Same thing goes for depressed girls who are badly in need of affection from a guy who moves fast.

Understand that "State-based game" is a niche type of game: it gives you access to girls who are receptive to this.

However, as a man, you're losing value by relying too much on this kind of game. At the end of the day, you can't escape the constant judgement your brain will impose on you. Your brain will ask you this:
  • -Are you improving as a man?
    -Are you really just trash who sleeps with drunk sluts?
    -Do you have any real value besides sometimes sleeping with a hot girl once a month?
    -Why can't you have a really hot and great girlfriend?
    -Why don't women want to see you again?
    -You're not that much of a pimp, are you?

You can try to avoid your ego all day long, but unless you're completely nihilistic, hold society in absolute contempt, have no desire for love or a relationship whatsoever and are perfectly satisfied with the quality and consistency of the girls you're getting, it's not gonna work. Before you fall asleep at night, these thoughts will haunt you.

You'll fall into bits of depression and bitterness. That's because you won't be like David; you won't be self-actualizing. You'll just be repeating the same old stuff over and over again, and it won't even work very consistently.

Honestly, I'd think you would be pretty weird if you succeeded in being so detached from other human beings. It would look like some kind of functional autism. Life would lose a lot of its value, which is about connecting with people and having feelings for them.

Men with exceptional value who move fast and understand what women want don't need to be in "state". Elite men know that, as males, they have more value than pretty girls, and this is confirmed by empirical results. Once you stop struggling to resist that concept and just accept it as truth, you have no need to be try-hard anymore, no need to get in "state". There will be no need to deflect shit-tests from girls because they will notice the X-Factor instantly and that will prevent them from insulting you. Instead, they'll just have butterflies and feel like they've finally met the perfect man, just as Chase describes here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/whats-wrong-dating-america-and-much-west. When you're confident in your value, when you become the arbiter of proper social behavior, when you know you're the best man this girl could ever have, you don't need a drug-like state as an ego shield, since your ego is no longer vulnerable.

Making your ego impervious takes time and experience. It comes hand-to-hand with abundance, value and skill. Being a great lover, having good fundamentals, having abundance, putting your life goals above women, this is what you want.

Be an elite man, be M. Perfect.
Meditate on that,
And read Ricardus' post!

-Mr Labrie
 

Estate

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
798
Re: "State" control is an illusion - Seek value and abundanc

I can see some value here.

I guess it all boils down to...
There's no point feeling miserable all day at your desk, then going through some "routine" to get you into some "state" before going out that night.
You can make it work to an extent but a lot of your mental focus is on channeling the right emotions and thoughts and it's draining.

For some guys you have to start here I guess but with abundance comes a different mindset. You just want that "state" to be yur reality which just comes with having the life you want.

I feel like achieving that is not just about pickup, you have to work on yourself as a whole to get the life you want.
 

Chase

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Re: "State" control is an illusion - Seek value and abundanc

M. Labrie-

Yes, exactly. Every significant girlfriend I've ever had I met when I was "out of state."

I ran an experiment very early into my pickup career, where I examined nights when I went out "in state" and nights when I went out not in state but forced myself to approach regardless. I found that I had more success on the nights when I was not excited or energetic or wanting to approach, but made myself start approaching women to meet them anyway. Something else that stood out to me from that test run was all the nights I went out feeling like The Man that resulted in nothing of note, lined up next to plenty of nights I went out feeling like I'd rather be in bed or playing video games and ended up bringing some sexy thing home with me instead.

My goal was always, "Be able to turn it on anywhere, any place, on command, without worrying about how you're feeling," when I started out. If you have to be in a certain state of mind to meet women, you'll forever be limited.

One of the primary drawbacks of state that I've seen is that most guys tend to focus on getting into a really hyped up, energetic state. But that state is a very different state from what you need to be in to turn women on, seduce them, and excite them about going somewhere to be alone with you (and hop in the sack with you).

The one state I did find useful while learning was "sexual state." You could say I still switch into sexual state once in a good conversation, or on a date, or while "posing" at the bar somewhere in between approaches or while trying to attract women to come to me rather than me need to go to them.

But the regular pickup pump-up state, in my experience, while useful for generating excited interactions with women, isn't all that great at generating a heck of a lot that translates into girls naked in bed with you... you'll do much better without it, provided you get into the habit of pushing yourself to approach regardless of your current emotions.

Chase
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Flames

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
430
Re: "State" control is an illusion - Seek value and abundanc

I think the only state you need is the 'Sexual state" to be used where appropriately. Any other other state (within reason) just attracts a different type of girl, being adaptive is what a lot of PUA's don't understand because they think that x will cause y.
 

Demo Jones

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May 5, 2014
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When I read Ricardus' article I was extremely interested by the concepts of state control.

I found practicing this to be a great challenge, as my mind would often interfere with the process. To lessen this I delved into meditation and other neo-spiritual ideas, which lead me down some other interesting paths as well(which I plan to post on at a later stage on the 'off-topic' boards).

What i ended up experiencing was a few changes in perspective, some bigger than others and some taking longer to fold out over time. For a while reality seemed more chaotic than ever, I'm guessing this is why Chase suggests people change their beliefs through experience rather than working on them internally.

Anyway, after a lot of dabbling and research I found resonating ideas amongst the different perspectives that I was embracing. These ideas helped me to understand state control from a wider frame, expanding its applications. I can't say that I've had a lot of experience with pick-up, but I'd like to believe that emotional instability, anxiety and fear are definitely things that i'm well versed in. State control doesn't need to be a used as a 'pre-game buzz' or as an 'artificial drug-like state', instead it can be used in a more adaptive way, as an on-the-fly method of managing emotions.

State control can be used to achieve any state of mind, not necessarily just a 'buzz' or 'sexual state' for temporary motivation. One of my favourite articles on the site would be Chase's article on how to be smooth; https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... ore-lovers . In this article Chase gives certain tips on how to become smooth(er), which ultimately results in getting a view of the bigger picture (looking at results over time instead of fleeting re-actions). A similar state of mind can be achieved via state control, along with various other valuable mindsets.

The one downside of this is that you'd have to go through these internal perspective changes one way or the other, you'll have to gain experience of some kind, learn and change. Change is painful, and i'd definitely recommend changing from experience over changing internally first, you'll deal with significantly less cognitive dissonance.

Once you've gone through these changes however, state control can be used simply as means of achieving a state that allows you to easily experiment and improve, take rejections on the chin and go into interactions without any expectations, allowing you to learn quickly and clearly. All this without the ego getting in the way.

I've seen a few concepts floating around this site that suggests 'faking it till you make it', 'acting as if it's already yours' and being generally non-reactive. I see state control as another one of these ideas which ultimately points to the same thing; you'll get what you want if you act, and eventually believe, that it's already yours.

P.S. The problem of 'disconnection' is resolved when you use this on the fly, because you're using it to adapt to your circumstances, in fact it may even improve connection. I'm not suggesting that you think about a cup cake while talking to a sad girl, instead, rely on emotional feedback when your emotions are negative/closed/restrictive, think of a phrase or image that counter's that emotion and continue with your interaction unaffected by your own judgement(of yourself and of others).
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
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Feb 14, 2013
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In my opinion, “state of mind” can be roughly divided into two parts. First is the emotional component. The second one is belief, persistent thoughts that you have in your mind, simply your mind frame.


The emotional part is excitement, good and positive feelings. You basically get “high” on emotions and that helps you to overcome the particular situation. See the classical “Yes, I can” when one particular politician rallies huge masses with those words. It is not actually the words, it is the emotional content that gets people so excited. This emotional component has tremendous power to accomplish different things, everybody simply feels “Yes I can!”. On the other hand, the problem with this one is that once you are “high” on emotions you might be too entertaining and too energetic – and this will not help you much with seduction. You might actually look like an idiot if you come in this highly energized state to a girl who is in “normal state”.


The other part is strong belief that you can do it. It is a belief that you can do it without being excited about it. Pure thoughts that by repetition became so strong that you don’t even get excited about it, rather you are emotionally in “normal state of mind” – with the exception that you are actually DOING what you believe.


So you go out and you see a hot girl for the first time. You might be emotionally down, your emotions and your thoughts are telling you: I don’t have guts to talk to her. You can’t find your balls and you are not able to talk to her. With the emotional component “Yes I can!” you can get emotionally high, and this allows you to go and talk to her. The problem – again – is that now you are too high, you generate too many emotions, and you’ll most likely screw up or she’ll reject you. She may shoot you down just because these highly energized emotions are simply not natural.


Now, if you have a strong belief “Yes I can talk to her”, strong mind set, strong frame – you don’t have to get excited at all. Those are your thoughts, not emotions. You simply go and talk to her regardless what your emotions are (but of course you want them to be positive). You talk to her as if she were your friend.


So the right “state of mind” should be when you are emotionally calm but at the same time you have a strong belief “Yes I can” – and you ACT (e.g. you go and you talk to her) based on that believe.


When you are developing this strong Belief you actually want to include strong emotions. As a matter of fact, the stronger the emotional component the faster the Belief becomes part of you. You just practice this as confirmations: say when you wake up you get as emotionally high as possible while you are repeating “Yes I can talk to her”. Then you forget it. Several hours later you go out and see this hot girl – now you want to keep those emotions low, casual and just follow your Belief “Yes, I can talk to her” – and you go and talk to her. After several weeks this will become just normal, this belief “Yes I can” will become a part of your mind frame. You won’t even have to repeat “Yes I can talk to her”, you will simply see a hot girl and you will go and talk to her because you already believe that you can…
 

Demo Jones

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Hi Drck,

Thanks for the insight, I found it very helpful, especially the part about building up emotion and then forgetting about it in order to instill a belief.

Back on the topic though; I'm not sure how many people are like me, but when certain social situations come up that I've never dealt with (one that I haven't developed a positive belief about yet) I'm naturally inclined to retreat back into my mind, followed by a barrage of self-judgement. This is usually complimented by completely closing off physically as well. Maybe this happens less often or to a lesser degree with more experience, I guess I'll see when I get there, but for the meanwhile 'state control' has provided me with a way to gain that experience without wondering why the hell people keep dropping interactions for (seemingly) no reason.

I feel a big part of learning 'state control' is learning to be self-aware - physically, emotionally and mentally -

The physical part of state control; smiling, having an open posture etc. is kind of the fundamental part of working with it, and is therefore the most important. When one of these situations come up the first thing I do is physically open as much as i can, appropriate to the situation. breathing slowly and deeply is also an important part of this. This effects us on a biological level as we can see in the TED talk in this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-h ... e-presence . I believe this effect allows us to direct our thoughts more clearly.

The emotional part just serves as an indicator, so, with practice, feeling a certain way (scared or frustrated for example) automatically triggers this process.

Then the mental side; this is where the emotions or 'state' actually changes. When one of these pesky situations come up, my favourite line to repeat mentally is "come back", I also reassure myself and remind myself that the situation will be a lot easier to deal with if i'm 'in the moment'. In this example the 'state' that I achieve is 'living in the present', which is really the only 'state' you need, free from distractions and crippling negativity.

This stuff is also very closely linked to Chase's method of preventing and curing depression in https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-o ... depression

To me state control is just another explanation for the same practice - guiding and monitoring your thoughts. The physical side just makes the transition smoother.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
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Yes, the key is in Awareness. First, you learn to meditate. You meditate in your room. There is no one else and there is nothing else – no TV, no phone, no other crap. It is just you - and you are Aware of yourself. You are Aware of your skin, of your breathing, of your body parts touching floor or chair. You totally relax, relieve the tension of your muscles, including your facial muscles. Try to empty your mind, meaning stop worrying about what will happen tomorrow or what has happened yesterday, stop thinking what you have to do, stop thinking about all the other nonsense. Close your eyes so nothing can distract you. The only “thing” that you focus on is you. To simplify it, you basically have 3 parts: your physical body, your thoughts and your emotions, and with practice you should be aware of all 3 of them.


With practice Awareness (of self) will become normal. By relaxing your body and being Aware you will calm down, you will be able to recognize different emotions, and you will be able to recognize different thoughts that are running through your mind. Now your mind will enter “state of neutrality” (just an expression), the thoughts are at minimum and the emotions are at minimum as well. There is no anxiety or stress, there is no excitement or sadness, there is no love or hate. It is just “neutrality”, nothing. Just you being Aware of your body, your thoughts and your emotions.


This “state of neutrality” is important. Anytime you get anxious you go back to neutrality. Anytime you get depressed, stressed or negative, you go back to neutrality. Anytime you get overexcited, hyper, overly active, too aggressive and so on – you simply return to the “state of neutrality”. This “State of Neutrality” is your home, it is peaceful and calm mind.


Once you learn this neutral state, you can attempt to modify it. Generate positive emotions such as excitement, energize your mind – and then let it fall back to neutrality.


Then advance this state, go to the park or somewhere where there are trees or lake and not so much noise. Meditate there. Once you can do it go between people, meditate while you walk in the crowd. This way your mind will associate neutral-to-good feelings with being in the crowd. The next thing that happens is Magic – now all the anxiety is gone, because your mind is not capable of meditating and being anxious at the same time…


While you are meditating, you can add confirmations: “Yes I can”. “Yes I can to talk to any girl I want, and nothing will stop me”. “I am fucking unstoppable, and if I want to talk to that hot girl I will simply do it now!”. “Talking to hot girls is so easy and it feels so great!” and so on. These confirmations are basically your Frames, once they become strong enough they will become reality (meaning part of your mind). The important thing is to have positive emotions during these confirmations. If you are depressed and feel down while you are repeating “Talking to girl is great” is simply counterproductive it has no effect. On the other hand, being positive and energized while repeating those confirmations over and over, thousands of times, you are simply convincing yourself that this is the REALITY that you live on. One day you will simply wake up and all these thoughts will be your REALITY – you will go and talk to those girls without even thinking about it…


The application is of course immense, you don’t have to limit yourself to seduction only, you can apply this in any area of your life.
 
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