Stepping on toes? (figuratively)

Fluxcapacitor

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
501
Dudes! I went out with a couple of mates this week an I noticed this girl that I was interested in, my mate apparently seen her a week or so before. He went on to tell me he talked to her (which was surprising because he doesn't approach) and he got her number. She ignored 2 text messages, then he found her on social media (stalker alert...) an she didn't accept the "friend" or respond to his message. I don't think this is going anywhere fast for him.....

I felt like I couldn't approach this girl while he was about (he doesn't have abundance mentality an I wouldn't be surprised if he's already name their future children already :') ) an that it would look like I was stepping on his toes. I also thought to myself she'd have seen me with him so would possibly turn me down or ghost me to so it wasn't awkward but maybe she isn't that considerate......

I decided not to approach due to him cause I felt it would have looked like a dick move, but I don't think he's getting anywhere with it an so there's no harm in it.

Any thoughts dudes?
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,427
"Why don't I go talk to her and see if she'll come join us?"

Then you go chat her up and pull her into the group with him and you.

Then take her contact info and tell them you'll set something up for the group.

Then you need to decide if you want to shag her and not tell your buddy or if you just wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Generally if a guy is in your friend's position, he's dead in the water. If he's cool, he'll realize it and hand her off to you: "Didn't work for me. Why don't you take a shot?"

If he's not cool though... unless you're going to marry her, he's never going to know if you take her out once and shag her after.

This is the thing with guys who aren't good with women: there's a lot going on they don't know about, and can never find out about, because they will flip their lids.

Usually you will end up just not hanging around these guys over the longer term.

In the shorter term, while you are still around them, it's usually best to treat them the same way women do, and just not fill them in on stuff that's going on that would upset them and they could not deal with.

Chase
 

Fluxcapacitor

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
501
Chase dude! Thanks a lot for this that sounds the perfect way to handle it!

I reckon I would have to shag her and not tell him, am not sure how cool he would be about it and he's clearly dead in the water but he's not good with women an I expect him to flip his lid. Will definitely have to treat him the same way women do because no matter how many times I've told him about this he still hasn't checked out this site or anything like this.

Thanks dude!
 
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