STICKIED: Board Etiquette

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,275
Quick announcement, fellas --

It's come to my attention that in the past few months that I haven't been on here as much, there's been a rise in pessimism / psychic vampirism going on here. Scanning back through some of the more recent posts, I'm seeing some of this, and it does not make me happy. If you don't know what a psychic vampire is, read this article: Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either).

The easiest description is someone whose contribution to any social interaction is a net negative in terms of mood / vibe / contributions.

I'm all for bringing up points of contention, doubt, problems, etc., in calm, civil, rational ways - that's how you work through these things.

I'm fine with people venting occasionally - it happens, we're humans, we're not automatons.

And there are going to be disagreements on theory, canon, what have you - these debates are tolerable too, so long as they don't get out of hand.

What I am NOT fine with is people using everyone else on the boards as their personal therapists. If you need therapy, hire a therapist; I'm not trained as that, and neither is anyone else here, and we all suck at that role and lack the mental fortitude to have to put up with someone who's a black hole of bitterness and defeatism. This place is a place for people interested in self-improvement - it is not a group therapy session, and it will break if I allow you to continue using it as this.

So, here's the new process:

  • Anyone at all may PM a moderator about any forum member who is being a net emotional negative to the boards
  • Your PM will be kept strictly confidential, and no one's ever going to mention that you said anything about anyone else
  • The moderators will discuss anyone we're hearing is having a negative impact on the culture of the boards and sucking life and value away
  • If we agree that any individual poster is bad for the boards, one of us will give him a warning that he needs to get his act together
  • If he continues to bring bad stuff onto the boards after a warning, next I show him the door, which I have zero qualms about showing anyone
  • If you're banned, it will be a permanent ban - I will ban your email address and IP as well; you will not be able to read the boards, as well as participate

There are a few central tenets you've kinda got to take on faith if you're posting here, even if you haven't had these experiences yet:

  • Women are normal, regular human beings, just like you. They are not horrible evil ice queens with nefarious intent
  • You can upgrade your attractiveness significantly by working on core aspects of your fundamentals (covered in various posts / articles)
  • You can learn and do almost anything, IF you use the right mix of hard work (lots of practice) AND smart work (trying lots of different things until you figure out which ones work best)

Those are the underlying pillars of this community, and if you think those aren't true, this really just isn't the place for you. I can't force you to realize you can improve at things by doing them if you don't do them; I can't force you to believe that women are awesome if you sleep with 1 girl a year because you don't approach, and the majority of your interaction time with women comes from hanging out on angry feminist websites where leviathans spew their rage at being manless. Nobody on the GC boards is going to convince you you can become more attractive by working on your fundamentals if you refuse to do any significant work on your fundamentals, no matter how much you whine about it and how much they try convincing you otherwise. These are all things you must DO and EXPERIENCE, and endless Internet dialogues where you express doubt and everyone else says, "Dude, just DO it," and you always are in need of more convincing to do it are just wastes of all of our time.

This is not about guys who are good and not good. There are tons of guys on here who are newbies on here and ask newbie questions. That's fine, welcomed, and encouraged. There are plenty of guys who make silly mistakes and can't seem to quite grasp things. That's normal; I did it, everybody else here did it, and if you're new, you're going to do it too.

What is NOT fine is unloading your victim mentality all over the boards. I have zero tolerance for this kind of large-scale emotional abuse that some people with bad mindsets engage in.

If you're going to participate in this community, it must be as a productive member. If you're unable to participate without detracting from others' experiences, we reserve the right to shut the doors to you.

Chase

edit: mild tone adjustment
 

Oskar

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 5, 2013
Messages
182
Here's hoping making the board etiquette explicit helps guide everyone towards more productive orientations :)

Thanks for yet another piece of beautifully subtle composition, Chase, it's really quite amazing. And you write so damn fast too!
So cool...
Oskar
 

BrandonCodi

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 9, 2017
Messages
26
Wise words.

Remaining positive is so key. It's so easy for humans to be negative. I guess I can understand it because I am negative with myself sometimes, but then I remember by being positive you separate yourself from the crowd.

Great post brother! Cheers
 

Space

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
563
Location
The Old Continent
Chase said:
What I am NOT fine with is people using everyone else on the boards as their personal therapists. If you need therapy, hire a therapist; I'm not trained as that, and neither is anyone else here
But how can you be 100% sure that not a single trained therapist ever registers and logs into this, otherwise fairly anonymous board? :)
 
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