Sticking Point: First Dates

[josephjo]

I've been trying to consistently go out everyday and do some daygame and its becoming a slow buildup for a habit. The issue I am seeing is that when I do approach (I go direct) and get the hook with the girl to stay and chat with me, the conversation goes well (I am still working on some points here but overall its always a good interaction), and I can always get the number. The problem is the follow up to the date.
Here is what my game currently looks like:
Stop girl (pre-open with a touch)
Hi, I saw you walking by and I had to come tell you (This is random but) (I am not going to steal your pizza) something to ground my opener in
You are adorable (cute, killer sense of style, absolutely gorgeous) then compliment
Who are you (or I offer my name) Introduction
Now obviously my opener is subject to change on the situation or just the circumstances but either way the girl is opened usually with a smile.
At this point I get to weed out girls who are not interested who quickly walk away, the girls who do stay usually have some interest in me.
Then I go into convo with the girl, making statements and very polarizing comments with some light teasing. Usually I ask for the date when the girl is trying to eject (maybe a bad idea?) or if it is just convenient to the conversation. Sometimes its as vague as "Let's get coffee sometime, whats your contact info (number)" or very specific such as "Coffee, tomorrow Starbucks 7pm." Then I get the number and bam, some light rapport and leave. Then comes the follow up, I quickly ping the girl within the next few hours with a text such as "Cool meeting you -Jo" or a funny jokey text about our convo making sure she has my number. Usually with no reply. Girls who do reply, I move quickly and the next day I just ask for their schedule which I get no reply.
Not really sure what to do here but here's some questions I have:
1)When should I ask for the date? If I randomly input into our conversation, what's a good way to keep the convo going after I asked for the date?
2) What's better for asking for the date? Specifics or vagueness?
3) Good follow up? Text or call? What to say?

 

[Franco]

Hey Joseph,

Usually I ask for the date when the girl is trying to eject (maybe a bad idea?)

This sounds like it might be your sticking point. You need to ask a girl out when she seems to be at the peak of her interest. I think this would be an article worth reading:

Emotional Cresting: What It Is and How to Use It

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[Richard]

Joseph, world felt problem you have there, when first starting out, and even admittedly when you're an intermediate though alot less, you are likely to have these questions on the follow-up of snatching numbers =)
Depending on your intention with a woman, gear your opening towards gauging her interest in your intention implicitly, or indirectly without telling her you have those plans. Usually I open, follow up with some light conversation, and weave in a few questions relating to my intentions (if I feel like taking a girl to the movies, I'll throw in some subtle, not-a-second thought questions) just to gauge how interested she would be in a near future hook up. This is useful because if a girl hates coffee, you'll know not to take her out for coffee. Even if she shows disinterest in what you want to do, adapt to it, and make new plans, have loads of back-up ideas with women.
Onto your questions! =) These are from my own experience, and from my own ideas and theories. Enjoy:
1) It is best to ask for the date after gauging her interest as I mentioned. However, before asking, make sure you've done light rapport building earlier, ask for the date on a high note, and immediately fall back to a rapport building subject the two of you had. For instance, "You find out that she likes baseball, poetry, and quantum mechanics LOL!" On asking for a date, she says yes, don't talk about the date after that, fall back to one of the rapport subjects in a manner such as this "You said earlier you were interested in poetry right? How'd that happen?" something along those lines, seal the date, and change the subject back.
2) In asking for a date, don't be specific as it could cause a "NO" ladder. If you ask a girl for a specific day and she is busy, she will say no, after saying no once she will be more likely to say it again. I wouldn't be too vague either though, asking her for her schedule isn't vague, it's simply finding a common day off to go out together.
3) This one is fun! and after reading a few of Chase's articles I started to work on this, and now have it down pact. For me, I do as you did, I send a text hours later saying "It was really nice meeting you today, additional information -Rich" something along those lines but a little more choice-cut with my wordplay. Chase's general rule is text a few hours later, and the day after send a light cold text to start up a conversation, get her talking before you ask for her schedule. Again, as Chase suggested wait a few days before making a phone call, you don't want to come off as needy, you want to show her that you are a busy man who doesn't have the constant time to attend to her social line. As for what you say, I would recommend these:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what ... -get-dates
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what ... o-wild-you
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what ... -text-back
Enjoy Joseph,
Richard =P

 

[Estate]

I know not everyone will agree with me on this one but here's just one point of a day approach I find distinct from night-time.

I don't like opening with a touch, or even touching at all unless she is instigating it. It's not always as accepted. There are certain ways where a tocuh might be ok but if you do it wrong it will really throw her off guard.
Things like touching her on the back, grabbing her arm, and definitely do not open on her handbag side. Small details but if a stranger approaches you in that way in broad daylight it can rock some people.

You don't necessarily NEED to touch either.

Check out the daygame.com guys. They actually have a video on exactly this and what is good and what is bad and I like their style on this one.

 

[josephjo]

You guys are awesome. I went out today and did some daygame and did the "high point" of asking girls on dates and it worked! Very well. Number closed a few girls and tentatively set up dates with two girls.
Question:
1) When I set up a date with a girl, what's a good way to follow up? Would it follow the same flow as if I just asked for a number without setting up a date or would it be different if the girl agreed to meet me let's say Tuesday 7pm, starbucks over there.
2) Day of date: Lets say I already followed up with the girl saying it was cool to meet her or something along those lines, what's a good cold text to start up rapport to transition to the text to confirm the date?

Thanks guys!

 

[Richard]

1) You mean setting up the date during your initial conversation, or setting up the date after getting the number and setting the date up after your first opening with her? There is a difference.
2) As for cold texting a girl, I suggest reading Chases article ( https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-text-girl ) Personally, I frame my texts to leave an air of mystery, I frame my texts to get the girl wondering (something Chase explains in the article as well).

 

[josephjo]

1) You mean setting up the date during your initial conversation, or setting up the date after getting the number and setting the date up after your first opening with her? There is a difference.
2) As for cold texting a girl, I suggest reading Chases article ( https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-text-girl ) Personally, I frame my texts to leave an air of mystery, I frame my texts to get the girl wondering (something Chase explains in the article as well).

1) For these girls I set up the date during the initial conversation. How should I follow up after the icebreaker text?

 

[Richard]

Ah, if you set up the date during the initial conversation, then you do as I stated before, you fall back to a rapport building topic and not talk about the date, or the place unless she insists on talking about it. Following an icebreaker text in my opinion is completely "action-reaction." I respond to her text according to HER TEXT, I then actively start to swerve the flow of the conversation in my favor, and for this, I use wit and planning. I use what she says to loop back around to something relevant, or to something more interesting, for instance, I sent an initial cold text, and this girl and myself were talking about school for a few texts (her and I recently graudated), so, she was talking about classes she plans on taking in college, and I used that as a catalyst to deep dive/ change the subject to something more interesting like so :
"Don't you think this is enough talk about school, we just graduated! We can leave school alone until Fall, it's summer vacation! We should be talking about the wild and crazy summer plans!"
Again, I used what she said to change the subject onto something more interesting, and from here naturally, her and myself made plans for this summer, and I was able to deep dive by talking about her summer plans.

 

[josephjo]

Ah, if you set up the date during the initial conversation, then you do as I stated before, you fall back to a rapport building topic and not talk about the date, or the place unless she insists on talking about it. Following an icebreaker text in my opinion is completely "action-reaction." I respond to her text according to HER TEXT, I then actively start to swerve the flow of the conversation in my favor, and for this, I use wit and planning. I use what she says to loop back around to something relevant, or to something more interesting, for instance, I sent an initial cold text, and this girl and myself were talking about school for a few texts (her and I recently graudated), so, she was talking about classes she plans on taking in college, and I used that as a catalyst to deep dive/ change the subject to something more interesting like so :
"Don't you think this is enough talk about school, we just graduated! We can leave school alone until Fall, it's summer vacation! We should be talking about the wild and crazy summer plans!"
Again, I used what she said to change the subject onto something more interesting, and from here naturally, her and myself made plans for this summer, and I was able to deep dive by talking about her summer plans.

So what would you text to confirm the date?

 

[Richard]

To confirm the date, I'd do as Chase recommends in his article on texting. Send a text along the lines of "Hey such and such =) We still on for tonight?" However this type of text is not a cold text, when it comes to the day of the date, she is more than likely expecting a text from you, in which case you send a warm text such as the example I gave.

 

[josephjo]

Hey guys,

I just wanted to thank ya on the advice on proposing the date. Since I wrote this post only a week ago, I went out and did my approaches and had 3 informational dates and a Instadate! This was a real sticking point for me and few edits to my game (thanks to you guys) and I am pretty much overcoming this plateau. I'll keep the progress rolling and I'll make a new post about my issues while on dates.