Stingray's journal

[Musicgrey]

Hey guys,

Today, I finally went out and approached girls/women. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, although I only approached 2 girls.

The first woman I approached was a mother, probably in her early 30s or late 20s. This was my warm up and it was pretty easy. I went with indirect opener tapping her lightly of the side of her shoulder before asking for where the nearest Starbucks is. She was really helpful and went on her phone to search it. I didn’t push myself to transition the conversation because she was having a kid beside her. It was probably an excuse but I didn’t thought she was my type or attractive to me. After she told me the direction, I thanked her and bid her goodbye.

It took me quite sometime to approach another girl, at that time I barely saw any girl that was cute and it was only because my wingman gave me a slight push and I thought yea the least I am going to do today was to approach at least one girl. So I went up to the girl and tapped her shoulder lightly, she seemed a little surprised and nervous. At that point in time, I was slightly nervous as well but I kept my composure, delivered the opener. Her body language was slightly, she wasn’t facing me and I could sense that she was having thoughts of walking away. I thought to myself maybe I should stopped there but I pushed myself a bit and went with introducing myself and asking her a few question. I was caught off-guard when she asked me if I was with my friends and this was a dare by them. I replied no, and answered why I approached her was because she was cute, which I told her in my opener. The conversation ended with small pauses towards the end. During the last few seconds, in my head, I battled with myself going for the number but failed.

I told my wingman about what happened and he told me that I could’ve ‘interviewed’ her less. One thing he mention was that the girl smiled during the interaction, which I didn’t quite picked up then. Maybe I was too absorbed in my thoughts then than noticing her reaction. We spent quite a while on the streets but I didn’t when to approach any other girls. Thinking back there was actually a western girl that walk pass me really quick and I hesitated, and the opportunity was long gone.

Goods:
1. Done my first approach
2. Rather confident in presenting myself
3. Good eye contact

Things to improve:
1. Not to ask too many question that it feels like an interview
Find another place with more western girls(my type) if not I would rarely approach asian girls- Increase my efficiency
Force myself to approach: Approach at least 5 girl next outing
4. Less hesitant, Task for next outing: within 10sec approach the girl that I am interested
5. Ask for her phone number

 

[ray_zorse]

Fucking awesome man. Very impressive for a first cold approach direct opener (my first ran away, hahaha still giggle a bit when I think of it). Read the article on cold reads or search my posts for "statements as questions" or similar, you can easily avoid the interview situation with a bit of practice, I have described how a number of times so can't be bothered typing it out again... as to the MILF... check for a ring as there are loads of single mums out there... if no ring try to set up a date, if ring then either give up, or give a compliment and see how much compliance you can get (Franco's advice, I have not really put it into practice but compliance level is a good indicator of where you truly stand in difficult cases). Anyway I'm subscribed.
-Ray

 

[theemann31]

Nice Job on your First cold approaches, DO NOT STOP APPROACHING

If you are having trouble with what to say after the opener then check this post out: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2447


It's called Singular Flow and it is the cornerstone to any effective conversation that you can have with a girl. Just follow up the opener with something relevant to what is presently going on
ex. You: Hey hold up there, I saw you walking by and I thought you looked lovely in that dress, so I couldn't resist stopping by and introducing myself, I'm (your name)
Her: Oh, thanks I'm (whatever her name is)
You: So what brings you out to (wherever you are) or your look is so stately and stylish, it's almost professional, you must be a fashion designer (then you converse about what she does for a living following the conversations flow)
Add in some teasing, some framing, some push/pull, some screening and rewarding as she qualifies and get her to invest in you and the girls will be eating out of your hands

Now go get em!
-Josh

 

[Musicgrey]

It’s my second time doing cold approach. I was slightly disappointed because similar to my first day, I only approach 2 girls. Upon reflecting, there were 2 main problem which hindered my number of approaches.

However, on a brighter note, hell I gained much confidence today, almost as if myw balls put on weight.

The first was the location- a city street that has shopping mall everywhere. Also, it was a friday so most of the young girls around 18-23 are in either school or just finishing up whatever. Most of the chicks(more like women) I saw was 26+ which was maybe a little too old for a 19 year old guy.

The second problem: I was hesitant and buried in my head too much, and before I know, the opportunity was gone. I still remembered clearly while I was relaxing at coffee bean, there was this group of chicks that walked pass and one of them was pretty cute. I thought to myself how should I approach a group? Should I go to stop them and say let my borrow your friend for a minute before using Richardus’s “are you single” opener on the girl I was interested in. If she said no, maybe I’ll ask her friends if she is lying in a flirty tone. Well, after I finished my train of thoughts, I said to myself it was a rather good idea. However, guess what? They were gone : (

Anyway back to the two approaches that I did today. The first was a western chick, couldn’t really tell where exactly she’s from. She was on her phone the whole time and was just walking towards the exit of the shopping mall. After noticing her, I turned and walk towards her because I walked pass her. I caught up walking right beside her(she was still on her phone, god knows what she’s sexting ;p) Without looking at her, I said hello in a rather dominant and masculine voice. I saw her looked up and turning her head to me, from the corner of my eyes, before I turn my head to her. She didn’t say anything, but I went and delivered the opener, “are you single” At that point she just dismissed me, looked back at her phone and walked away. The rejection had actually made me felt good, maybe it was because I realised that rejection wasn’t that painful actually. Rejection only hurts(It was too much for me to even admit it) when one gave too much value and investment on a girl that one meet be it in social circle or cold approach(which the former happened to me with a girl from my class and taking things slow)Because It made me felt good, it made me instantly approach another girl that was NOT cute at all but whatever, just for lols.

The second approach was sparked by a more fun, spontaneous thought that I had when I walked pass a girl that was giving out some name cards in the middle of the shopping mall. She wasn’t cute but since I felt really good and confident after the first blowout, so I told myself why not? I went to her and as she tries to give me the name card, I asked “Are you single?” It just short-circuited her whole brain, she just went stone mode, and her expression on her face was priceless, something like O____O. Damn I should’ve taken a photo of that hahaha. After what seems like a lifetime for her, she opened her mouth and goes “ huhhhh? Whhhyy?” I just shrugged and commanded “answer me first, or I won’t take the name card” She said no, not single. And I gave a bored look, took the card and walked away.


Now reflecting on those approaches, there were a few things that I could do differently. I’ll start with the first approach. When I looked at the first girl, my face was intense, my lip was pursed and looking at her with a piercing eye. I felt that I wasn’t smiling or showing warmth. What I could done there was to show more warmth, soften my eyes and even a give her a sexy smile. Maybe she was also mirroring my vibe, if I came across more as a warmer person she might stop even though she seems to be on a rush. After she dismissed me, I could’ve pushed myself a little more such as walking with her saying that she could give me a verbal answer so I could rest my heart with a slight hint of amusement towards her dismissal attitude. Moving on, the second girl, I could’ve also use a little of sexy smile and flirted with her more. Maybe I could’ve said “what do you mean? you are alone here giving out cards, how can you not be single” followed by a sexy smile. Also the next time I do cold approach I will go to college campus since there are more girls around my age.

 

[Musicgrey]

Hey guys,

Its been almost 4 month since I entered my last journal entry and much have been going on. I have neglected my journal entries and realised that its actually a disciplinary issue that has surfaced from other areas of my life which I need to constantly work on. The realisation is a good wake up call and I know its going to be difficult but I am working on it, starting from small things like brushing my teeth before I go to bed even when I don't feel like it. Some of them may sound silly to people but hey everyone got to start from somewhere.

Anyway, just recently, I started with no porn and masterbation, its been going on for 2 weeks and I would say it change the way I interact with people in school. The few noticeable changes are:
1. I am less hesitating speak whats on my mind and also speaking in a more consistent and deeper voice.
2. I am more comfortable in my own skin, initiating social touches naturally and more confident.
3. Girls starting to talk to me, and even saying goodbye when I was distance away from them.
I would definitely encourage anyone on board to give it a shot. The initial few days or the first week can be hell, fighting the urge to masterbate to porn. Another thing I realised is that I use porn as a coping mechanism when I am stressed or upset. This is bad, its a way I escape problems at hand. This also brings me to what I want to talk about what happened today. What I would use to do when I get upset is that I go home, get a bottle or 2 beers, chuck it down while masterbating to different porn at the same time. Imagine an octopus 1 hand holding the beer, 1 hand holding the mouse, 1 hand tabbing through the multi tabs of wonders and 1 hand shaking violently down south. Okay maybe thats too much discriptions but anyway, instead I did something else.

So this is a short entry I wrote in my notebook:

Today I felt absolutely crushed, and I am on the edge. Yes I feel absolutely crushed seeing the girl who once liked me having such a great time with another guy and I guess that they are together. I am conflicted, a part of me is glad for her, yet the selfish part of me hated it. I am frustrated, sad, and in fact furious that I am not the guy. Every time I hear his name, anger erupt from nowhere, or perhaps from the depths of my heart. All the memories floods back into my mind uncontrollably. My logical mind knows that we are over, the truth is we didn’t even had a start. Yet my heart yearns and struggles coming to terms with it. Everyday I tell myself, you should be glad that she rejected you. I also tell myself, you need to work on yourself, get your shit together and get control over your life. No girls will ever like someone like you. Suck it up and move on, get better, yes its going to hurt seeing her everyday, and being in the same class, but thats just how you have to learn. She is just an idealized obsession, continue to improve, you might even find someone more attractive than her, but who knows? Maybe someday she will change her mind? However, that shouldn’t be even on your mind, because that will just cripple your progress and opportunity with other girls. Remember how you missed your opportunity with her when you obsessed with another girl? Yes, thats your problem, my problem, you and I need to learn from it, and the cost of it is pain. Theres no easy way around. Stop wallowing in sorrow, work on yourself and go out and meet some girls.

After that entry, I went for a 3mins 30sec plank, 15 push up and got a cold shower and immediately felt much better. After that I met up with my buddy and grab dinner, had a few chat and did 2 approaches.
1. I opened a girl, she didn't look interested. She was moving away from me when I deliver my compliments and there was this huge gap between us. She said that shes married and ejected herself.
2. The 2nd girl was part of a 2set and my buddy winged for me. We hit off with a few common topic of interest, there was some vibing going on and grab her number. I thought to myself that it was a solid interaction and she seemed rather interested. After sending her a intro text she replied "thank you!" It caught me slightly off guard because I was expecting a nice meeting you too kind of text. What I did well in this interaction was- I held my own view when she didn't agree and somehow later she was agreeing with my frame.

That just totally changed my day, on my way home, I smiled sillily to myself > I tell myself, yes good job but at the same time remember that not everyday will be like this and sometimes it will be hard and those are the time you have to persevere, belief yourself, work through it and thats when you learn the most. Just go home awhile ago and its past midnight writing this but yes, another baby step, rather than waiting until tomorrow. Enjoy those small changes you make.

Alright peace out
Stingray