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Stop being insecure and Controlling?

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
I'm talking to this girl now, and I've become what I hate, an in secure man. I'm not in secure about what I can bring to the table, I'm just insecure with how girls can be whores and that anything can happen.

It doesn't matter if I have women on the side or if I date another girl because the process will continue. If I date another girl and fall for her I will feel the same way.

It's just in this day and age you just don't know. And with that, I am beyond insecure. I'm also becoming very controlling too, and I want to stop.

Do you guys have any tips?
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
radeng said:
Realize that you have only two tools to control this and even then, you'll never know. :)

tool 1: Screening - Screen hard for a nice conservative girl that doesn't put herself at risk of cheating.
tool 2: Being the best man YOU can be by following GC tips. Keep her interest high and keep her chasing and you won't have a reason to worry even if you don't do great with tool 1.

So how to beat the insecurity?
-Get more abundance. You won't be scared if you know you can get another girl of equal quality in a relatively short amount of time.
-meditate and let loose of the need to control things. Honestly, you'll just drive yourself crazy trying to control things.
-Take a long time before you invest in a girl deeply. Sounds like you're invested WAY WAY too early which signifies you don't have much abundance.

In short:meet more women.

Think of relationships like driving. You still take cars to get to where you want to go right? But you know at any time you could potentially get in a life altering wreck. That doesn't stop you from driving. You just take steps to minimize your risk like, obeying laws and wearing seatbelt and then relinquish control of the things you just can't control. Relationships can bring more good things to your life, but if you can only focus on the "wreck you may have" when you get into one you will sabotage them completely.

Radeng
Thanks bro, my bad I have to remember to give specific details. I've been talking to her for a year, and within that year my feelings got deeper, she feels the same. With all the crazy shit going on today, I get paranoid, and think that it wouldn't change if it was a different girl because I would think the same.
 

Zoro

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,124
Radeng once gave me some sage advice that went something like this,

Don't worry, its just inexperience.

Just like they say time heals all wounds, experience will teach you how to deal with things.

I think you're missing a little bit of knowledge that only comes with experience. I don't worry about those things because I've both experienced horrible relationships with constant cheating and also beautiful healthy low drama relationships with girls.

So while the things you fear can happen, sometimes they dont, especially if you avoid them. Learning how to find and keep the good ones and avoid the baddies comes from experiencing a little of both.

So don't sweat it, enjoy what you've got going on, but keep an eye on what you want and be aware if things are headed towards that or away.

Good luck
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