Hey gang!
I’m novice at this so any thoughts I could possibly get from you active forum members are highly valuable. With that being said, this story involves a few topics that are commonly searched on this site (girl has a boyfriend, auto-rejection/escalation windows, winning her back and don’t chase women) I’m pretty certain you get the idea now of how this story goes.
I am a 25yr old working-student currently stuck on grave shifts at an office-desk setting with 2 people normally working nights (so the obvious tension is there at times). Fortunately, this 23yr old woman is not someone I work with all the time (she works at the other office location and I only get to work with her if somebody’s on vacation at her branch). I’ve met her January of this year. Long story short, she has a bf (they live together) but it doesn’t matter because of how she “interacts” with me. A few fumbles during interaction is a part of it but I’d say the sexy vibe, humbleness, deep dive, cold reading, moderate use of astrology (as we’re both Scorpios) discretion in an office setting, women’s tests, sharing food, disqualifying myself as a bf candidate, not chasing her and using compliance to this woman landed me a date with her just last month (the day that I worked with her). Obviously it’s not fast as Chase would like me to do but I’m operating in an office setting and my gut feel is to go with the flow as I have a lot of options outside of work. But let me be honest that I really dig this woman more than anyone I’ve met this year.
Now this is where I messed up big time. My inexperience showed at the last minute of our first date. When I dropped her off at her place, I called her up to come back to my car “because I want to tell her something”. Now I was about to kiss her when all of a sudden my cheeks started shaking (yes I was nervous for some reason!). She saw it and questioned me why and I play it off by saying “No, I’m not!” (a very weak response if I may add). Anyways it got really awkward for us and I told her yes, she could leave my car if she wants to. Then she left and the look on her face was like “Ok that’s the weirdest thing ever!” When I got home, I called her and apologized for creating that mess and for some reason she told me “It was all her fault”. Then we quickly dismissed what happened and talked for a little bit about our upcoming 2nd date. I jokingly told her after what happened she might want to bring a pepper spray with her. At least I ended it on a good note I think. But then a few hours later, I sent her a bonehead apology text for what happened earlier and her response was somewhere along the lines saying “Stop overthinking about it… Lunch sounds good”. In my head, something didn’t feel right about that text (I was needy and almost chasing). A week later, I called her to have her step out of her office because I was about to give her a surprise. I ended up giving her a pepper spray. I told her the main thought behind my gift is to make sure she has that comfort level when she goes out because I know she has to take the bus on certain days and the fact that she gets lots of attention all the time. She was amazed by how thoughtful it was (I’m not a big fan of giving gifts but I did want to try something different to turn it around) After that, she gave me multiple hugs that I could’ve escalated it to a kiss but then again I hesitated fearing her co-worker is somewhere lurking. She also suggested that Tuesday could be a good day for our 2nd date as we both know what our schedule is looking like and I said yes. After that, I told her that her coworker could be looking for her and told her she should go back to her work right away.
Two days later while at work, I sent her a text just to confirm our Tuesday date. She said that she would have to check her man’s schedule. A few minutes later, she sent a text wondering if I could pick her up and drop her off. I knew this was a “trap” but then I was feeling tired that day after not getting enough sleep for my grave shift. You would think I’d play hard but I saw a window and decided to risk it by saying yes. The moment I was out of my office, I went home and quickly changed to my gym clothes just to imply it’s not a date but I knew deep inside it is a date and we’ll go somewhere. Sun is already up and I picked her at her office and we went to a coffee shop. While I was driving, I tried my best to stir the conversation the right way just like how we would normally do but this time around, we’re both feeling tired and there’s too much topic about work that we both just lost the good vibe. I pointed this out to her and she nodded.
When we got to the coffee shop, there’s a lot of physical escalation going on while we’re ordering that I could’ve confidently kissed her or at least kissed her cheeks but I wasn’t comfortable in a setting where a lot of people are looking at us and I didn’t think about logistics (again it’s my inexperience that kicked-in). While we’re having breakfast (by the way she got the tab this time), I could honestly say we’re both tired from work and we both knew we’re taking this 2nd date for granted. Then my mouth began acting stupid by asking her why she likes me (yes I’m an idiot). Then she went to her defense saying she only sees me as a friend and in order to protect my ego, I told her the same thing. She knows it’s just my sarcasm. Then we try put the effort of discussing other things that will put a positive light but it’s not working for us that time. Our 2nd date only lasted 45min then we both acknowledged we have to go home. On the way to drop her off, we discussed about work (trust me I tried to stay away) and we got into a discussion on why she needs to imply to her male co-workers that she “loves” her current man. The moment I said that, I know I was in for a big battle against her auto-rejection. So finally I dropped her off at her place and as soon as she got out of my car, I sensed her aloofness towards me. I also saw her sister’s car parked at her house so I guess I still won’t be able escalate things to her easily whether my interactions with her that day went right or wrong. Logistics wasn’t even a thought that came to my mind even if my interaction went smooth to her (should’ve done a much better job when it comes to that).
Now this is the part I started chasing her. 2 days later I called her office and asked her if she needed a ride. She declined because somebody’s gonna pick her up. Later that day, I decided to delete all my photos on Facebook and Instagram. It’s not my reaction to her recent actions but it’s all about uploading new photos later that week. Then a few hours later, she unfollowed me then followed me on Instagram so that it will notify me on my news feed (and it’s not that she did by accident because she KNOWS how to use it).
With that single hope I saw, a few days later, I asked her to come out of her office again with one intention in my mind; to kiss her. 10min later, she showed up but I saw her body language with less enthusiasm to see me. I was about to kiss her and she put all the mental blocks and physical block by squeezing my elbows away from her. At that point, I knew it was over. I was about to manhandle it but her emotions aren’t there as I thought. I brushed it off real quick by saying “It’s not gonna happen huh? Too bad! Anyways how’s everything?” The look on her face was still shocked by what just happened so her mind completely went blank and she asked me questions that a person would normally ask a new person in their life such as “What school do you go to?” We both knew it was getting awkward that she had to tell me she really needs to go back to work and end this discussion right away. Had to let her go for good this time. Then a few hours later via work email, our office needed someone to cover a graveyard shift. She volunteered (she doesn’t have a history of volunteering to pick up overtime but I’m sure she understands the chances of her working with me that day are very high). Thank goodness it didn’t happened because one of my coworkers responded ahead of her. But I begin to wonder now if she’s testing me or she just wants the attention from me and her man…. I’m thinking both. Not too sure if it’s genuine interest or not. My gut feel indicates we need a large amount of time away from one another before I make a comeback. To make my life easier, I could simply move on but this one challenges my thoughts.
This shit happened 1month ago. Since then I haven’t spoke to her and I plan on distancing from her for the time being. I know attraction has an expiration date. My plan is to give her something thoughtful (following the law of least effort) on her birthday because we’re only 2 days apart from each other and from there I could come back to her life in a smooth and not needy way… I know I have to be gradual with my return. The real question is how and is it worth it? Any thoughts on this?
Thank you for taking the time to read it
-rav3x5
I’m novice at this so any thoughts I could possibly get from you active forum members are highly valuable. With that being said, this story involves a few topics that are commonly searched on this site (girl has a boyfriend, auto-rejection/escalation windows, winning her back and don’t chase women) I’m pretty certain you get the idea now of how this story goes.
I am a 25yr old working-student currently stuck on grave shifts at an office-desk setting with 2 people normally working nights (so the obvious tension is there at times). Fortunately, this 23yr old woman is not someone I work with all the time (she works at the other office location and I only get to work with her if somebody’s on vacation at her branch). I’ve met her January of this year. Long story short, she has a bf (they live together) but it doesn’t matter because of how she “interacts” with me. A few fumbles during interaction is a part of it but I’d say the sexy vibe, humbleness, deep dive, cold reading, moderate use of astrology (as we’re both Scorpios) discretion in an office setting, women’s tests, sharing food, disqualifying myself as a bf candidate, not chasing her and using compliance to this woman landed me a date with her just last month (the day that I worked with her). Obviously it’s not fast as Chase would like me to do but I’m operating in an office setting and my gut feel is to go with the flow as I have a lot of options outside of work. But let me be honest that I really dig this woman more than anyone I’ve met this year.
Now this is where I messed up big time. My inexperience showed at the last minute of our first date. When I dropped her off at her place, I called her up to come back to my car “because I want to tell her something”. Now I was about to kiss her when all of a sudden my cheeks started shaking (yes I was nervous for some reason!). She saw it and questioned me why and I play it off by saying “No, I’m not!” (a very weak response if I may add). Anyways it got really awkward for us and I told her yes, she could leave my car if she wants to. Then she left and the look on her face was like “Ok that’s the weirdest thing ever!” When I got home, I called her and apologized for creating that mess and for some reason she told me “It was all her fault”. Then we quickly dismissed what happened and talked for a little bit about our upcoming 2nd date. I jokingly told her after what happened she might want to bring a pepper spray with her. At least I ended it on a good note I think. But then a few hours later, I sent her a bonehead apology text for what happened earlier and her response was somewhere along the lines saying “Stop overthinking about it… Lunch sounds good”. In my head, something didn’t feel right about that text (I was needy and almost chasing). A week later, I called her to have her step out of her office because I was about to give her a surprise. I ended up giving her a pepper spray. I told her the main thought behind my gift is to make sure she has that comfort level when she goes out because I know she has to take the bus on certain days and the fact that she gets lots of attention all the time. She was amazed by how thoughtful it was (I’m not a big fan of giving gifts but I did want to try something different to turn it around) After that, she gave me multiple hugs that I could’ve escalated it to a kiss but then again I hesitated fearing her co-worker is somewhere lurking. She also suggested that Tuesday could be a good day for our 2nd date as we both know what our schedule is looking like and I said yes. After that, I told her that her coworker could be looking for her and told her she should go back to her work right away.
Two days later while at work, I sent her a text just to confirm our Tuesday date. She said that she would have to check her man’s schedule. A few minutes later, she sent a text wondering if I could pick her up and drop her off. I knew this was a “trap” but then I was feeling tired that day after not getting enough sleep for my grave shift. You would think I’d play hard but I saw a window and decided to risk it by saying yes. The moment I was out of my office, I went home and quickly changed to my gym clothes just to imply it’s not a date but I knew deep inside it is a date and we’ll go somewhere. Sun is already up and I picked her at her office and we went to a coffee shop. While I was driving, I tried my best to stir the conversation the right way just like how we would normally do but this time around, we’re both feeling tired and there’s too much topic about work that we both just lost the good vibe. I pointed this out to her and she nodded.
When we got to the coffee shop, there’s a lot of physical escalation going on while we’re ordering that I could’ve confidently kissed her or at least kissed her cheeks but I wasn’t comfortable in a setting where a lot of people are looking at us and I didn’t think about logistics (again it’s my inexperience that kicked-in). While we’re having breakfast (by the way she got the tab this time), I could honestly say we’re both tired from work and we both knew we’re taking this 2nd date for granted. Then my mouth began acting stupid by asking her why she likes me (yes I’m an idiot). Then she went to her defense saying she only sees me as a friend and in order to protect my ego, I told her the same thing. She knows it’s just my sarcasm. Then we try put the effort of discussing other things that will put a positive light but it’s not working for us that time. Our 2nd date only lasted 45min then we both acknowledged we have to go home. On the way to drop her off, we discussed about work (trust me I tried to stay away) and we got into a discussion on why she needs to imply to her male co-workers that she “loves” her current man. The moment I said that, I know I was in for a big battle against her auto-rejection. So finally I dropped her off at her place and as soon as she got out of my car, I sensed her aloofness towards me. I also saw her sister’s car parked at her house so I guess I still won’t be able escalate things to her easily whether my interactions with her that day went right or wrong. Logistics wasn’t even a thought that came to my mind even if my interaction went smooth to her (should’ve done a much better job when it comes to that).
Now this is the part I started chasing her. 2 days later I called her office and asked her if she needed a ride. She declined because somebody’s gonna pick her up. Later that day, I decided to delete all my photos on Facebook and Instagram. It’s not my reaction to her recent actions but it’s all about uploading new photos later that week. Then a few hours later, she unfollowed me then followed me on Instagram so that it will notify me on my news feed (and it’s not that she did by accident because she KNOWS how to use it).
With that single hope I saw, a few days later, I asked her to come out of her office again with one intention in my mind; to kiss her. 10min later, she showed up but I saw her body language with less enthusiasm to see me. I was about to kiss her and she put all the mental blocks and physical block by squeezing my elbows away from her. At that point, I knew it was over. I was about to manhandle it but her emotions aren’t there as I thought. I brushed it off real quick by saying “It’s not gonna happen huh? Too bad! Anyways how’s everything?” The look on her face was still shocked by what just happened so her mind completely went blank and she asked me questions that a person would normally ask a new person in their life such as “What school do you go to?” We both knew it was getting awkward that she had to tell me she really needs to go back to work and end this discussion right away. Had to let her go for good this time. Then a few hours later via work email, our office needed someone to cover a graveyard shift. She volunteered (she doesn’t have a history of volunteering to pick up overtime but I’m sure she understands the chances of her working with me that day are very high). Thank goodness it didn’t happened because one of my coworkers responded ahead of her. But I begin to wonder now if she’s testing me or she just wants the attention from me and her man…. I’m thinking both. Not too sure if it’s genuine interest or not. My gut feel indicates we need a large amount of time away from one another before I make a comeback. To make my life easier, I could simply move on but this one challenges my thoughts.
This shit happened 1month ago. Since then I haven’t spoke to her and I plan on distancing from her for the time being. I know attraction has an expiration date. My plan is to give her something thoughtful (following the law of least effort) on her birthday because we’re only 2 days apart from each other and from there I could come back to her life in a smooth and not needy way… I know I have to be gradual with my return. The real question is how and is it worth it? Any thoughts on this?
Thank you for taking the time to read it
-rav3x5
Congrats on the new girls and good luck!