Strategies for getting in with hot neighbours

[Beam]

Hey guys,

I might have already dropped the ball on this one (those old limiting beliefs keep rearing their ugly head) but really want to salvage this opportunity somehow. The house behind mine (separated by a narrow alley onto which the rear garage doors face - so the houses are facing away from each other) has been getting built for months and finally got done. Two weeks ago I was in my garage with the garage door open cleaning my motorbike, and a car came through the alley and into the new garage - three girls got out. They looked to be around 22-23. I'm 27.

Now I didn't get a good glance at two of them but one was hot - she turned to me and said hi (good sign, she initiated) and we made chit chat/joked around about how shitty the alley is and how hard it'll be to get the cars in and out. Here's my first mistake - I stayed in my garage and she was in hers. I didn't come out of mine and walk across the alley to introduce myself. Part of the reason was I was feeling pretty shit about myself cause I'd just stalled my motorbike a couple of times coming back and got stuck in a negative thought loop (I've been addressing nixing these negative patterns as they emerge and not letting them affect other areas of my life). This started creeping back negative beliefs about how I was older than them and that it'd be weird. We exchanged names, she told me her two housemates and said it was nice meeting me. She went into her house with the others and I went back to clean my bike.

Next day realized my mistake and said that next time I see them in the garage I'm going to walk right over and chat (yeah I know, lame waiting for external circumstances as an excuse to go talk to them. Two weeks pass and I don't see them at all.

Yesterday night I had some friends over to mine. I was showing them around my place and I went upstairs to show them my rear balcony - which now happened to have a view right into the girls backyard/garage. They were having a party and I must have seen like 20-30 girls in there. We went out into the balcony and greeted eachother. They apologized and asked if their party was too loud - but I loudly joked that it was ok, we were having a party too. We all had a good laugh about it but the convo didn't go much further before we went back inside.

Naturally feeling like I've missed two good opportunities to get in with these girls and that the window might be passing - so I was wondering if you guys had any tips for how to proceed from here? It's not like we're true neighbours - they're the house behind mine. And I never see any of my other neighbours (we live in a sort of old timey townhouse). So I thought about going over to their front door and inviting them over for some drinks one night - but the fact that I haven't done that for any other neighbours and the fact that their house is actually on the next street might make it too obvious.

Do you guys know how I might be able to suggest hanging out in a socially calibrated way, given that I've only spoken to these girls (girl) twice in the last few weeks and they have been quite short interactions?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Do you guys know how I might be able to suggest hanging out in a socially calibrated way, given that I've only spoken to these girls (girl) twice in the last few weeks and they have been quite short interactions?

Very difficult because she has probably settled and/or she is too busy and to mentioned, she is likely a party host.

To go over and knock on their house is risky.

You need a reason. I'm not sure if you or any of us can find that reason but you can force it and imply sexual innuendos when she happens to pass by.

Because that's the only way. And she will know this, or get some hint that you are approaching her per se.

Problem is there's 3 of them.

And the logistics is that there is 3 of them on that house. Unless you can pull a miracle and sleep with all 3, and that can possibly entail a shit show that is bad because they know where your house is.

So yea, try to create scenarios that you "happened" to be around the area. It's worth a shot.

 

[Beam]

@ZacAdam thanks for the response dude. Just goes to show the importance of not hesitating and not letting separate parts of your life cross over to affect other parts - this could have been avoided if I'd just walked over and had a proper interaction right away.

On the point of trying to sleep with them, I feel like befriending them so they can possibly get me access to other girls might be the best way forward to avoid possible thorny issues. There were a lot of girls at that party and I didn't see too many dudes.

I think the situation might still be salvagable - I think I may still have an air of mystery to the girls. I've decided that the next time I see them, I will go over and strike up a proper conversation - I'll bring up yesterdays party in conversation and use that to lead into an invitation to come around for drinks sometime and get their numbers. I'm fairly confident in my ability to pull off the ask smoothly, just have to make sure to take the opportunity when it presents itself next.

 

[trashKENNUT]

goes to show the importance of not hesitating and not letting separate parts of your life cross over to affect other parts - this could have been avoided if I'd just walked over and had a proper interaction right away.

Yeapppppp.

Recommend everyone to never think of pickup/dating journey as A to B.

Because you will lose many girls as much as you win.

the point of trying to sleep with them, I feel like befriending them so they can possibly get me access to other girls might be the best way forward to avoid possible thorny issues. There were a lot of girls at that party and I didn't see too many dudes.

Definitely a good idea because she always bring in new girls maybe. You just there to enjoy supper. LOLX.

I think the situation might still be salvagable - I think I may still have an air of mystery to the girls. I've decided that the next time I see them, I will go over and strike up a proper conversation - I'll bring up yesterdays party in conversation and use that to lead into an invitation to come around for drinks sometime and get their numbers. I'm fairly confident in my ability to pull off the ask smoothly, just have to make sure to take the opportunity when it presents itself next.

You planning to bang all 3 at your house? If inviting a wrecking ball, might as well do it BIG. ALL 3.

Nah kidding kidding.

Depends on you really. You can invite them over or have them invite to their house and have a feel of who is the boss. That's the thing though.

You don't have a feel on the hierarchy. That's usually what fails the plot.

 

[Fuck This]

Have your best two wingmen over, fire up the BBQ, and invite them over....

The invite should be "Hey we scored some steaks/chicken/seafood (whatever is your speciality) and i'm gonna have a couple friends over. Love to have you join us because I've got a lot of food. We are talking about Friday at 6"

They should accept and offer to bring something...give them an assignment...a salad or dessert. or something..it solidifies their commitment.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Have your best two wingmen over, fire up the BBQ, and invite them over....

i'm gonna have a couple friends over. Love to have you join us because I've got a lot of food. We are talking about Friday at 6"

They should accept and offer to bring something...give them an assignment...a salad or dessert. or something..it solidifies their commitment.

Crucial

Communicate clear that you want which one. Otherwise it becomes a problem

 

[Beam]

Have your best two wingmen over, fire up the BBQ, and invite them over....

The invite should be "Hey we scored some steaks/chicken/seafood (whatever is your speciality) and i'm gonna have a couple friends over. Love to have you join us because I've got a lot of food. We are talking about Friday at 6"

They should accept and offer to bring something...give them an assignment...a salad or dessert. or something..it solidifies their commitment.

Only problem is I don't have any good wingmen..

 

[Fuck This]

Can you at least tell a couple guys that the hot one is your target and that you need them to keep the other 2 busy/entertained?

make one the grill guy, make the other the bartender if you want.

Do a social game like cornhole..... or some other couple/team game....could be playing pool, or horseshoes or beer pong.

Have an errand you "need to run" in reserve to get your target girl alone for a little while. Might not need it but a quick run to the store is a shared experience that you can build an emotional connection from. Windshield time together makes for some good deep diving conversation.