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Strategy help needed to get to date 2

A

Anonymous

Guest
So here is the scenario:

Met this girl at the gym. Invited her to have a beer after gym one day when we both got finished early. While having a beer her car was about to be towed. I swooped in and managed to keep her car from getting towed to impound where it would have cost over $200 to get it out, but I managed to save it from that for $40. She offered to buy me lunch to repay me, which I accepted.

Saw girl at the gym about a week later and she mentioned we need to set a time for dinner; Thursday or Friday. I said Friday since I had plans with a friend who was in from Trinidad on Thursday. I chose Oporto (decent wine bar I like) since she challenged me to find a place she hadn’t tried. Success! While at dinner, we split 2 bottles of wine then both of us wanted to go do something and I said we should go bowling. Another success. While at the bowling alley she started getting close with me and touching me. Until this time I had assumed we were just going out for some friendly fun as friends. She stopped me while walking back to my seat after it was my turn and was right in my face so I snagged the first kiss.

After bowling was over, we sat at the bar in the bowling alley and talked. She asked if I intended this to be a date and I said that I had not originally, but would be ok with it if it was. She talked about how she had noticed me at the gym for a while and how she thought I looked younger though. Turns out we are roughly the same age. We had a lot in common since we talked about her love of architecture and her upcoming vacation to Hawaii the next Friday (this coming Friday) and she gave me a lot of good compliments about being a great kisser and how I wasn't like the other guys she has met here in Houston. She mentioned having a lot of work to get done and how much time it would take to get it done before she left as well. And she mentioned her membership to the gym had run out and she wasn’t planning on renewing since she swims at another gym closer to home. At some point in there she kissed me and we made out for a little bit. Then we went across to a piano bar and she started dancing with me and making out with me again. It got late so I took her home so she could make her golf tournament the next day. When I dropped her off I walked her to the door and again we made out (a lot). She had her hands literally all over me; front and back.

I messaged (text message) her the next morning and said I had a great time and joked about not breaking windows on her tournament. She responded that she had a good time and a laugh about needing some aspirin. Later that evening I got an invite to a concert a friend was playing at so I called and invited her, but only got her voicemail so I left a message. Later on she messaged me that she had just gotten home and was staying in. To which I responded that I ended up at a redneck luau and we messaged back and forth a bit because she said it sounded like an awesome time. I left it with her sending the last message. Sunday morning I was up early and went for my 5k run and remembered she said she was doing a bike&brunch thing with her friends. So, I sent her a quick message and said it was a good day out for bike&brunch. She responded with they opted to not do the bike part and just do brunch. That was the last message I received from her that day. She said on our date that her week was going to be really busy so I opted against asking her out during the week, and then she left that following Friday for a 10 day vacation. While on vacation she hit the "like" button on a couple of my Facebook posts and check-ins, but I did not message her while she was there.

Yesterday (Monday), I sent her a message to start a little dialogue about first day back. Apparently I was a bit early as she arrived yesterday, but she messaged me back a little. I couldn't keep the conversation going due to a sand volleyball game I was playing in that night was just starting. So I left it with saying I'm glad she survived and I had to start my game.

Here is my dilemma: I want to ask the girl out again since we had such a great time on the first date, but I really don't feel her messages back to me show much interest from her to me since she never asks me questions. How should I go about asking this girl out again?

I need to play this well because my interest level in her is too high right now. Which I am already working on bringing down by dating other girls.
 

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
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Messages
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She stopped me while going back to her seat while it was my turn, and I stole the first kiss..

She likes you.

She asked if I intended this to be a date...

She definitely likes you. She wants to know how much you like her.

She talks about how she's noticed me at the gym...

She definitely likes you. She's giving you quite a bit here.

She gives me a lot of good compliments about being a great kisser and....

This girl is almost throwing herself at you.

She mentioned her membership to the gym had ran out and she wasn't planning on renewing because...

She's telling you to hurry up and make a move.

Then we went across to a piano bar and she started dancing with me and making out more...

She wants you.

When I dropped her off, we made out (a lot) and she had her hands all over me, front and back...

"Please, take me inside and fuck me." Dude, she wants you so bad!


You failed to capitalize on the escalation window. This girl wanted you to be a man and take her to bed. You didn't. How do you come back from that? It's going to be hard. She made it cut and dry for you, and you didn't give her what she wanted. Gauge her responses and actions carefully. She may be in auto-rejection already, but if you ask her out (Christ, do it NOW) and she agrees, then you have to sink your hooks in this girl and have sex with her. Trust me, it's what she wanted!

Good luck, and report back on what happens!
NJ
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
I would have gone up to her place with her, but she said that I couldn't after we made out. Trust me, I was almost through the door to her complex and she turned around and said I for sure could not come up.

How is that not capitalizing? Do you just force yourself into her place?
 

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
1,275
mdl1980 said:
I would have gone up to her place with her, but she said that I couldn't after we made out. Trust me, I was almost through the door to her complex and she turned around and said I for sure could not come up.

How is that not capitalizing? Do you just force yourself into her place?


Haha no, don't force your way in... that could get you arrested :) But, in all fairness, you didn't provide this information (bolded) in your field report. Logistically, I would have seeded something at *my* place that I really wanted her to see or some really good wine that I have and invited her over.

What did you do/say when she told you that you couldn't come up? Did she give a reason or anything?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
A

Anonymous

Guest
No she didn't give a reason or anything of that nature. I know she had to get up early the next day for the golf tournament so I chaulked it up to that. Thanks to Houston being so far part I am actually about a 30 min drive from her place.

So, I'm contemplating how I should go about calling her up this afternoon and asking her out again. I know I need to do this.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Well, I called this girl up yesterday after work to ask her out. Got her voicemail. Surprise surprise. I love how women use avoidance instead of telling men they aren't interested.

That one's gone in lost cause pile.
 
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