Hey!
Any advice would be highly appreciated. This is not only about pickup, dating or relationships but life choices in general. Since there seems to be a few people on this forum who have their shit together, then maybe someone can point me to a right direction too
This topic is a bit of this and that, so please don't mind that I put this in a general folder.
I'm in my early 30s and seems I'm in a shitty place in my life. I'm quite depressed a lot of times and have pretty bad mood swings.
My girlfriend and I broke up now over a year ago. Everything in my life has went downhill after this. I took it really hard. We were together for two years. When I met her, I moved fast. I think I'm really picky with women. I have a certain type. Not that they need to be supermodels. But really they need to have certain physical traits in order it to work for me. And then for a potential relationship they of course need awesome personality traits as well. But I cannot even start anything if there's something off from my perfect scenario. For the first time in my life, I think I dug her from the first sight I laid eyes on her. She was almost perfect. Without really knowing it, I did everything really right with her, and within a month she was totally head over heels in love with me. She asked me to move in a few months later. It was an intense and very close relationship almost until the very end. I really fucked up in the end, so it ended. But also, she wasn't quite what she used to be in the end, when we met, so the moment she wasn't any more, I stopped putting my best foot forward too. She was even so attached to me, that even after my super beta behaviour for a few months after breakup, she was still hooked with me. But since I didn't have my act together any more at that point, then she left me for good. For our mutual, younger, "cooler" douchebag friend, to make things more stupid for me.
It was a motherfucker to get over. Not only I had the relationshit to get over, I also let her to walk all over me after it ended and really made a fool of myself in front of several people. My self esteem took a huge blow. I started to doubt everything in my life, all my choices and myself. I must admit I'm still not completely over the whole crap but I'm at least doing much better. Sometimes even great. Just when something other shitty is going on in my life (and recently there seems to be a lot of that), then that shit comes back to mind to hunt me.
I'm good looking. I look at least 5 years younger or more. I'm fit and well built. (Although I don't even know how I'm still fit as my lifestyle has been pretty silly lately I have accomplished quite a lot and built several brands and businesses a lot of people appreciate worldwide. But started to have problems with all of that now too and am completely broke now. Literally struggling to find money for food and rent. I made some poor choices recently and my associate fucked me over too and is really still getting on my nerves. Now I have all this career crap going on as well. Don't know if I should try to pick things up or just say screw everything and starts something new. I have built these brands for over a decade, so it's not something I can leave behind lightly but since things suck, maybe I should... On the outside they do great. But on the inside the work relationship with my associate is horrible and there's little money (at least for me). I never thought I'll find myself in such situation in my 30s. Most of my friends are owning homes, getting kids with their girlfriends etc. Not that I want kids right now, but just it's another thing that makes me feel as a failure.
So, I have all this crap going on in my life. Often feeling inadequate, no money, not young enough, not able to travel etc, feel stuck.
On another hand. Almost no one know about that about me, that I feel this way. I have still plenty of girls wanting me. Pretty hot girls that are in their early 20s, mid- 20s and late 20s. The whole spectre. I do occasionally hook up with a few but only mostly when I get drunk and then feel like it. I don't feel great most of the time, so don't bother to approach too many daytime. Also, my work currently doesn't allow me to meet lots of hot women. So I only meet people in night spots mostly. And the thing is that I feel shittier when I have hooked up with a girl who hasn't been a total ten. Because there's always something lacking. I look for some perfection (for me at least) and I never seem to find it. I know that I cannot settle in any way, I need to find someone who really knocks my socks off. Who would be absolutely intoxicating to look at, to feel deep connection. Otherwise I again stop putting my best foot forward at some point. But I never feel it. I know I might be still hung up on my ex. It's probably true in some way for sure. She is not even the same person probably and even her looks has changed and she is not my ideal any more. I haven't seen her for a while as well anyway. But what I'm stuck with is probably some early image of her that I need to top in order to want a girl.
But how can this even be. I know I need to be more social and hook up with others. To get through more numbers and closer to my perfect match. But I don't even want to hook up with anyone who doesn't completely 100% knock my socks off. What makes things more difficult is that I live in quite a small town and it's hard to be anonymous, so the word always gets around of my hookups. In this year after my breakup I literally only have had one night stands. Not that they don't want more. They do, but I cut them off. Ok, well I had three sort of two night (or so) stands, there I was the one who fucked up bit. They came back but by then I had lost interest. As it didn't seem natural any more... A few of them were even young models and even somewhat closer to my type. But not 100%. And so I didn't care. I probably have some trust and neediness issues as well caused by my breakup. It's easy not to be needy with a girl who is not your total 10. Probably other reason I have been mostly hooking up with 6s and 7s.
I seem fucked up.. And don't know what to do.
Part of me wants to take completely time off from girls and partying etc. To try to get my other life somewhat in order. get my shit together. So I would look really good, have some money in my pocket and then also feel good. But I'm getting older fast and don't want to spend my last younger years working my ass off being alone.
Any advice would be highly appreciated. This is not only about pickup, dating or relationships but life choices in general. Since there seems to be a few people on this forum who have their shit together, then maybe someone can point me to a right direction too
This topic is a bit of this and that, so please don't mind that I put this in a general folder.I'm in my early 30s and seems I'm in a shitty place in my life. I'm quite depressed a lot of times and have pretty bad mood swings.
My girlfriend and I broke up now over a year ago. Everything in my life has went downhill after this. I took it really hard. We were together for two years. When I met her, I moved fast. I think I'm really picky with women. I have a certain type. Not that they need to be supermodels. But really they need to have certain physical traits in order it to work for me. And then for a potential relationship they of course need awesome personality traits as well. But I cannot even start anything if there's something off from my perfect scenario. For the first time in my life, I think I dug her from the first sight I laid eyes on her. She was almost perfect. Without really knowing it, I did everything really right with her, and within a month she was totally head over heels in love with me. She asked me to move in a few months later. It was an intense and very close relationship almost until the very end. I really fucked up in the end, so it ended. But also, she wasn't quite what she used to be in the end, when we met, so the moment she wasn't any more, I stopped putting my best foot forward too. She was even so attached to me, that even after my super beta behaviour for a few months after breakup, she was still hooked with me. But since I didn't have my act together any more at that point, then she left me for good. For our mutual, younger, "cooler" douchebag friend, to make things more stupid for me.
It was a motherfucker to get over. Not only I had the relationshit to get over, I also let her to walk all over me after it ended and really made a fool of myself in front of several people. My self esteem took a huge blow. I started to doubt everything in my life, all my choices and myself. I must admit I'm still not completely over the whole crap but I'm at least doing much better. Sometimes even great. Just when something other shitty is going on in my life (and recently there seems to be a lot of that), then that shit comes back to mind to hunt me.
I'm good looking. I look at least 5 years younger or more. I'm fit and well built. (Although I don't even know how I'm still fit as my lifestyle has been pretty silly lately
I have accomplished quite a lot and built several brands and businesses a lot of people appreciate worldwide. But started to have problems with all of that now too and am completely broke now. Literally struggling to find money for food and rent. I made some poor choices recently and my associate fucked me over too and is really still getting on my nerves. Now I have all this career crap going on as well. Don't know if I should try to pick things up or just say screw everything and starts something new. I have built these brands for over a decade, so it's not something I can leave behind lightly but since things suck, maybe I should... On the outside they do great. But on the inside the work relationship with my associate is horrible and there's little money (at least for me). I never thought I'll find myself in such situation in my 30s. Most of my friends are owning homes, getting kids with their girlfriends etc. Not that I want kids right now, but just it's another thing that makes me feel as a failure.So, I have all this crap going on in my life. Often feeling inadequate, no money, not young enough, not able to travel etc, feel stuck.
On another hand. Almost no one know about that about me, that I feel this way. I have still plenty of girls wanting me. Pretty hot girls that are in their early 20s, mid- 20s and late 20s. The whole spectre. I do occasionally hook up with a few but only mostly when I get drunk and then feel like it. I don't feel great most of the time, so don't bother to approach too many daytime. Also, my work currently doesn't allow me to meet lots of hot women. So I only meet people in night spots mostly. And the thing is that I feel shittier when I have hooked up with a girl who hasn't been a total ten. Because there's always something lacking. I look for some perfection (for me at least) and I never seem to find it. I know that I cannot settle in any way, I need to find someone who really knocks my socks off. Who would be absolutely intoxicating to look at, to feel deep connection. Otherwise I again stop putting my best foot forward at some point. But I never feel it. I know I might be still hung up on my ex. It's probably true in some way for sure. She is not even the same person probably and even her looks has changed and she is not my ideal any more. I haven't seen her for a while as well anyway. But what I'm stuck with is probably some early image of her that I need to top in order to want a girl.
But how can this even be. I know I need to be more social and hook up with others. To get through more numbers and closer to my perfect match. But I don't even want to hook up with anyone who doesn't completely 100% knock my socks off. What makes things more difficult is that I live in quite a small town and it's hard to be anonymous, so the word always gets around of my hookups. In this year after my breakup I literally only have had one night stands. Not that they don't want more. They do, but I cut them off. Ok, well I had three sort of two night (or so) stands, there I was the one who fucked up bit. They came back but by then I had lost interest. As it didn't seem natural any more... A few of them were even young models and even somewhat closer to my type. But not 100%. And so I didn't care. I probably have some trust and neediness issues as well caused by my breakup. It's easy not to be needy with a girl who is not your total 10. Probably other reason I have been mostly hooking up with 6s and 7s.
I seem fucked up.. And don't know what to do.
Part of me wants to take completely time off from girls and partying etc. To try to get my other life somewhat in order. get my shit together. So I would look really good, have some money in my pocket and then also feel good. But I'm getting older fast and don't want to spend my last younger years working my ass off being alone.
