Stuggling with newbie assignment

[Orgasmatron]

hey guys,

i'm really struggling with the newbie assignment. stuck at saying hi, which you'd think would be easy. just go up and say hello, seems straightforward enough doesn't it? But I can't seem to do it.

i walk round in the city for hours on saturdays and sundays. i spoke to one girl in the museum last week and another one yesterday who was just hanging around on the street. today i saw this chick who was pretty much my ideal, brunette, slim, very pretty, i think she was hovering. i walked past her, then she walked past me, looked around, slowed down, was even shaking her hips a bit. i knew i just had to walk beside her and say hi, but i just couldn't do it. we both kept walking, she was still still a bit ahead of me, id given up by now, she looked round again and kept walking.

i tend to stay in city centre and park near the university. i don't seem to be able to see many opportunities to move in and start a conversation, and then when one does come along i cant (or dont) do anything.

im looking for girls on their own, obviously that limits things, but if i cant open them, how can i open a group.

have you guys got any tips to get over this?

on the plus side, i am getting my steps in

 

[topcat]

I remember an article Chase wrote years ago that basically said to not allow urself to go home until you’ve approached x number of girls.

That in combination with what is outlined in this article might be what you need.

Also treat the first 2 or so approaches as ‘freebies’. As practice approaches. This takes the pressure off.

Another thing that helps me is approaching a few strangers as a warm up before I make ‘real’ approaches. Could be anybody, man or woman, old or young. I usually enter a corner shop, buy a bottle of water and chat up the shop owner as a ritual before getting started.

Treat it as you would the gym, an instrument or sport. Remember to warm up beforehand.

Best

 

[Warped Mindless]

Get a buddy, give him a hundred bucks, and tell him to give you $10 back per approach. He keeps whatever you don’t accomplish.

Another thing I did back with clients when I used to be a dating coach was to do a 20 approach rejection challenge. I would tell them that I bet they could not approach and get 20 rejections in a row no matter how badly they messed up. It turned it into a game and took the pressure off.

 

[Will_V]

Remember why you want to do it, and embrace the pain.

A man needs a reason for things, a 'why' that he uses to drive himself through things he doesn't enjoy, things that threaten his self belief, to realize his ambitions. For me, it's because when I see something beautiful, the first question I have is 'why isn't this mine?'. When I see a beautiful boat, a beautiful car, a beautiful woman, it sets my soul on fire. I know no one will enjoy them like I would, no one would appreciate them the way I would. No one would desire them so much, or be so alive in possession of them. No one would ask so much of them, or be so satisfied.

It's like when you read a book, or watch a movie, or hear a song, and you know that no one has ever experienced it the way you did. You just know that no one else came close to understanding what it meant, so that it might as well have been written just for you.

For me, there's no reason, no goal, just raw desire and the knowledge that the only thing stopping me from having what I want, is my fear to become enough to deserve it. Reality is always asking me, 'are you enough for this or not?' and I respond.

What's your why?

 

[ElderPrice]

It's okay if it's challenging. All you have to do is a tiny bit better than last time. As small as you like, really. As long as you're making a tiny bit of progress each time, you're making progress! You're doing it!

 

[Orgasmatron]

Hey guys, thanks for the info/suggestions.

I actually really like the idea of the 4 approaches a day for 30 days challenge, so I'm going to to do that. Might be a few late dinners for me in the next couple of weeks!

Gonna try and not be too worried about results and doing certain stuff. I think having too much in my head is part of the problem. So just going to wing it and see how I get on.

Cheers

 

[Orgasmatron]

Okay, it's been pointed out to me that jumping ship and switching to another challenge is just a continuation of my standard bullshit behaviour of find something difficult, get frustrated, quit, try something else, repeat.

The reality is, I'd probably get pissed off at that and quit it too, and I really need to start finishing the things I begin.

So, I'll stick with the newbie assignment and see it through.

Thanks for the suggestions above guys.

And thanks to @fog for calling me out and @Mist22 for pointing out a few things.

 

[foggy]

@Orgasmatron,

Im glad you've decided to stick with the newbie assignment. you've made the right decision. The sweet satisfaction you'll feel once you complete this day - and the assignment as a whole - will be like no other.

And it will be impressive because not many people manage to complete the newbie assignment. People come to this forum and start it because the thought of having a life where they are good with women is quite appealing. But responsibilities get in the way, or they succumb to their emotions....and next thing they know, they've been stuck on the assignment for years. Or they've totally parted ways with the desire to be good with women.

So let's get right down to it, how can you get past this day?

Going directly from day 3 to day 4 is a huge step. There's a huge psychological wall to saying something out loud to a girl and having her hear you, which does not get dealt with by making eye contact with girls the day before. So when you put on your shoes and go out into the world for day 4, you run up against this massive, unsuspected wall, making it a hard task to complete.

But rather than bashing your head against the wall again and again, it helps to take some time to chip away at it a little bit, or even demolish it completely, before climbing over it. And this is done by slowly desensitizing yourself to each of the individual day 4 actions of walking up to, stopping near the girl, and saying hi.

Below, I have provided you a series of actions I take to start approaching quickly again after a break. I propose you run through the exact series of actions or a combination of them to desensitize yourself to day 4 actions, before taking a shot at fully completing day 4:

• Say hi to 5 girls in your head as you make eye contact and walk by them
• Say hi to 5 girls in a quiet voice as you make eye contact and walk by them. They do not have to hear you.
• Say hi to 5 girls in a louder voice as you make eye contact and you walk by them. They must hear you.
• Stop in the general area of 5 girls and say hi in your head.
• Stop a little closer to 5 girls and say hi out loud in a quiet voice. They do not have to see or hear you.
• [DAY 4 TASK] Stop right next to 6 girls and say hi out loud in a louder voice. They must see and hear you. Eject.

If you take these actions and are still struggling, I'd be more than happy to revisit this issue with you.

Do you have any questions or concerns?

 

[Orgasmatron]

Hey @fog, thanks man.

That’s really helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to lay that all out for me.

It all makes sense, so no questions or concerns.

I’ll go through the steps one by one, and update my journal as I get through each stage.

Cheers dude