Stunning woman, texting gone cold, no responses

[p4angling]

Setup: She has a BF (27 YO), I am still legally married.
Met a girl last Thursday, hit it off well, we hung out all night, and capped off the evening with some great sex and everything that goes with it etc.. We left it as potentially seeing each other over the weekend. Had some light texting on Friday, she sent me a selfie suggesting I go see her at the bar she was working at. (Which I did) She told me she had a BF (on Thursday, didn’t faze me) and he happened to be at the bar I went to visit when she was working. Obviously I had to be guarded plus she was working. We chatted a little and then I left after eating and a few drinks. Sent her a text after I left: “Good seeing you tonight, food was excellent. You looked amazing. Chat later”. I’ve since sent her a couple texts and some snap chat experiences with no response. My last text to her last night (Sunday night), “super busy weekend for me, it just flew by which sucks…now Monday will be here soon, ugh. How was your weekend other than working everyday at the bar, lol…” I know today she was off and was maybe expecting a response especially since her BF would be working. I have not had a response from her since Friday and I know I’ve had a couple simple questions to invoke some communication. What do you think the next steps should be, she is amazingly beautiful, smart, witty, and a nurse with a side job. Thoughts? Play it cool for a couple more days? Any type of text I could send her that would spark something? She is a 10, body builder, great personality and she is amazing sexually. Clearly we hit it off well, I spent over 8 hours together with her on Thursday and Friday seemed good as well. I want to spark something without sounding needy, as that isn't my style, but would like to see her obviously. Any thoughts?

 

[Dude909]

NEXT

 

[p4angling]

I must admit I chuckled when I read (NEXT) cause I was thinking the same thing...

However, just rec'd a selfie from her, she was in her running suit (smoking hot), caption read "f'ing hot out"...

So...maybe she is just a slow responder, lol... I will send her short response in a bit tho.

 

[Anonymous]

If she was responding to you before, but now even after multiple texts/messages she's semi-blowing you off, she's either gotten cold on you, or she's sensing she's losing the power struggle and she's trying to right the balance of power by withholding attention via not responding or sporadic contact. If it's the former, she's losing/lost interest and she's trying to keep her distance. If the latter, then you need to withdraw your attention and limit your messaging. Early on, if you come on too strong with the messaging it can scare her, as she might feel like you're getting too "close" to her when you haven't known each other that long.

Also... consider the fact that you're essentially her side piece. Or the fact that she's cheating on her boyfriend with you. Not exactly the kind of behavior that screams "normalcy" or "head on straight" from a woman.

You also have to consider the fact that she is in a relationship... so her boyfriend might check her phone/ she might be spending time with him and it wouldn't be appropriate for her to be responding to your messages while she's with him (possibility of getting caught).

If she really wanted to see you, and you've already reached out to her, and she's being a bit cold/ aloof, you chasing harder isn't going to make it better. If the time she spent with you was really that good, she'll hit you up at some point... when it's convenient for her.

It comes with the territory of being the side piece.

Also... if she really is as stunning and beautiful as you say she is, on top her having a job, a side job, a boyfriend... how many guys/friends do you think are vying for her time/attention? If you really were THAT good... she'd have a good reason to follow up. Girls never take that long to respond. If she likes you, wants to be around you... she'll respond. If she's ignoring your texts, she's doing it on purpose. It means she's keeping you at an arm's length. It could be because she's not sure about you, and she's on the fence... either her relationship is on the rocks/ guy is not exciting enough/ sexually inferior... or she's a promiscuous one that doesn't hesitate to step out of her main relationship for casual flings with guys... and she's not taking you seriously. So... I would highly advise you not to invest so much at this point... when she clearly hasn't reciprocated that investment.

 

[p4angling]

Insightful info, thanks for the candid response, prolly a lot of truth to many of those statements. Gives me something to ponder.

 

[ray_zorse]

Overcomplicating it guys. Your mistake was going to that bullshit bar, it just screams orbiter, a high value man wouldn't waste time visiting a girl he barely knows, at her workplace, when he couldn't have sex with her. By inviting you there she was auditioning you for an orbiter slot, especially as she knew you would run into her boyfriend there, which would make you super uncomfortable. What a manipulative bitch. If that wasn't bad enough you've definitely shot yourself with the incessant texts, snapchats and offers to hang out, she's thrown you a tidbit to keep you interested but you'll never get in her pants. NEXT NEXT NEXT. That's what Dude909 would've told you except he likely considered it obvious to a GC reader. Go read the site!
Ray

 

[Anonymous]

He actually states that he's already slept with her, which makes the dynamic quite a bit different. Although I would agree, I eouldnt have gone to see her unless I could have led it to a sexy ending. Her job + boyfriend... she must be a bit sadistic to do that in front of her boyfriend... inviting the man shes cheated with.. shes probably getting a kick out of it

 

[ray_zorse]

True, but seeing her again the next day is needy and desperate, he wants to appear busy and succesful, like he's banging many other girls and the sex is just no biggie.
Ray

 

[p4angling]

In hindsight I wish I wouldn't have gone to see her either... In defense of her actions her BF was supposed to be out of town Friday night so it was an opportunity to see her and how many of us wouldn't have taken that leap. She didn't say "come to the bar", but her snap message was full of that implied meaning... I did not let her know I was coming to the bar...so yes, she was surprised when I showed but that bar has great food and I knew a couple people so all was not lost... Yup, I look foolish now but playing it off and slow with her... She has sent a couple snapchat photo's of her which I haven't responded and I would love to see her this weekend but need to be creative. Any thoughts on an approach? She is prolly working the same bar tonight...

 

[Fuck This]

So the title should read now....

"Followup for Bedded nurse, part time bartender"

She is keeping you on the hook with the selfies. You are an "option" for her. Not necessarily the highest priority yet. Selfies are usually "compliment bait".

I'd come back with " your neck/back/shoulders (pick one) looks a little tight. Won't make it by the bar tonight but I could fix that with a little massage after work or this weekend. Tell me which."

NOT "Tell me when". Here is option A or B. She might come back with another option. Either way you will meet. Then you know what to do.

 

[Throwaway01]

Divorce your wife like a man first

 

[p4angling]

Divorce your wife like a man first

In-process Bud !!

 

[p4angling]

So the title should read now....

I'd come back with " your neck/back/shoulders (pick one) looks a little tight. Won't make it by the bar tonight but I could fix that with a little massage after work or this weekend. Tell me which."

NOT "Tell me when". Here is option A or B. She might come back with another option. Either way you will meet. Then you know what to do.

I like it...

 

[Throwaway01]

Throwaway01 wrote:
Divorce your wife like a man first

In-process Bud !!

Awesome kick the tires and light the fires when you're done with that pal!