Super long and detailed but desperate for thoughts and advice

[tincup]

Ok, so this is gonna be a long and detailed post but please bear with me because this girl has my head in a blender and I need advice.

So a few weeks ago I was hanging out with a group of my friends, the key people being Mike, Sam and Sam's sister Kate (who I would consider a friend of me and Mike that we hang out with a lot but never without Sam ). His sister brought over a couple of friends one of whom is named Jane. We all pregamed for about an hour where I briefly interacted with this girl. The group of girls and us guys went separate ways at that point. Fast forward a couple of hours and we meet up with them at the bar.

When we get there, I sit across from Jane at a 4 person table where she is sitting on a bench that extends beyond the table. She tells me to "pull my chair next to her" this would have me sitting on the end of the table. I tried to but couldn't because there was another table there in the way and the gap wasn't large enough. I tell her this but she is a little drunk and keeps trying. Eventually, she gives up and then moves from her seat and starts standing. She randomly says to me "I think you're really cool, you deserve more credit." This really threw me off because we had barely met so I just said something like "you don't even know me". This makes me wonder if Kate was telling her stuff about me while we were not together for the past couple hours. Anyways, we don't really talk much after that and get separated for the rest of the night pretty quickly.

Fast forward to the next day. Kate is over and randomly asks me "What do you think of Jane?". To which I reply "she seems cool, I didn't really get to talk to her much." Kate then says something about how Jane was really drunk and lost her credit card and stuff.

Fast forward one week. Jane and Kate are meeting my friends out again at the bar. I decided to do something with another group of friends first and had to join them about 4 hours later. I was a little disappointed by this because I wanted to shoot my shot with her and was a little worried about Mike trying to game her and stuff when I wasn't there. So I link up at the bar with all of them. At some point pretty quickly, I hear from Sam (Kate's brother and my best friend) that apparently Jane told Kate that she wants to hook up with Mike. At some point during this night Kate even tells Mike. Mike ends up somehow hooking up with a different girl instead of Jane even though I know he really wanted to hook up with her.

At this point Mike is gone from the bar and I am pretty drunk. Worried about losing my chance with Jane, I approach her and kind of hit on her tell her I am attracted to her and that we should hang out. She didn't outright reject me but seemed to ignore me and said something like "you don't want to be with me". I was very drunk and its hard to recall but I came away from the situation not feeling great. She seemed kind of aloof 1 foot in 1 foot out, maybe just trying to get a drink out of me. I imagine she was pretty drunk to and Im not sure what she recalled from the situation.

Fast forward another week, I go out to the bar with a similar group again except this time Mike isn't there. At one Jane she says to the group how she "wants a boyfriend". She also talks a lot about her hookups and stuff to which i just ignore and talk to my buddy. Over the course of the night I flirt with her a little bit and she seems to flirt with me some also although its never really one on one between us and at times she seems aloof to me.

Next day, I am out to dinner again with the same group as the night before. This is a couple, Sam, Kate, Jane, and I. Jane is sitting across from me. At the end of the dinner the waiter splits the meal evenly into 3 checks. Jane jokes that she thinks "the waiter thinks me and you are together". To which she says "cheers boyfriend" and raises her glass. A few minutes later when talking about some recent career decisions I made which could be taken negatively, she says "damn I was hoping to marry rich".

We leave dinner to go meet up with Mike at the bar. When we get there she seems eager to see him. I immediately decide to be aloof and not show her attention at the bar and she seems to do the same all night as I never speak to her even though there were times when we were near each other. I don't see much interaction between her and Mike and nothing really happens between them. Kate still tells Mike that Jane would hook up with him.

So I have a lot of questions. Is Jane interested in me or is she just messing with me? Should I ask her out or keep flirting and playing it cool? (not really sure because of when I drunkenly told her we should hang out). We are going to dinner again this weekend with the group and Mike keeps saying how he is going to try to hook up with her and its pissing me off. He doesn't know that I think I have a shot with Jane. I don't want to lose out to him, but he has supreme confidence because according to Kate, Jane really wants to hook up with him.

Is there any chance Kate could be full of shit and playing some sort of manipulative game here? If it wasn't for Kate's comments I would have a lot more confidence with Jane. I should add kate has never said anything to me about janes interest in mike.

I would really appreciate and thoughts or advice. Thanks.

 

[Will_V]

Dude this reads like a logic puzzle, I almost expected a question at the end like 'which girl owns the blue coat and likes puppies?'

The short of it is that you are all tangled up trying to follow a girl's frame. Girl's frames are messy by default, since half the time they don't even know what they want.

This is why it's a man's job to get in there and make a woman jump one way or the other. You simply need to forget about Mike and Kate and whoever else, and get to work on Jane, if you really want her.

But I will warn you, it sounds already like she sees you as naive and inexperienced. When she says 'you deserve more credit', 'the waiter thinks me and you are together haha', 'cheers boyfriend', and finally, when you declare interest 'you don't want to be with me' - as well as talking publicly about her hookups, meaning she's probably very sexually experienced - it sounds like she looks at you as 'kiddo' and not 'Rambo'. It sounds like she likes you, but girls don't bang guys they like, they bang guys that they respect and who turn them on.

Honestly I wouldn't get attached to her at this point. If you want to hook up, I would suggest being very persistent, energetic, and as dominant with her as you can be while being always positive and non-needy and willing to walk away. Take risks, make things sexual if possible, make her respect your masculinity and sexual intent, and forget about feigning disinterest or trying to 'outwit' her, since it already sounds like she's a veteran and you're a rookie.

And above all, chase other women too, and focus on getting better at game long term.

 

[tincup]

Damn, yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. I am very inexperienced and I bet Kate told her that which probably fucked me. I’ve only recently had girls shows lots of interest in me and my inexperience gets in my head.

 

[tincup]

I might add the comment about the waiter and being together was said in a serious way. Not while laughing or overly smiling

 

[Will_V]

Damn, yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. I am very inexperienced and I bet Kate told her that which probably fucked me. I’ve only recently had girls shows lots of interest in me and my inexperience gets in my head.

Don't worry about it, the good news is there are tons of girls around, they all need to get laid, and all you need to do is hone your game.

Have you read some of the Girls Chase articles yet? Like this one: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-started-picking-girls

I might add the comment about the waiter and being together was said in a serious way. Not while laughing or overly smiling

It does sound like she likes you, and you will find that girls that like you will give you tests. Like making statements such as these to see how you react. Your response tells her lots of things, like your confidence, your wit, your experience level, how invested you are etc. In short, she wants to know your frame - how you see yourself, and how you see her in relation to you.

There's a lot of good stuff on Girl's Chase about managing frame, which is the most important thing in managing interactions with girls. I suggest reading articles and applying yourself with lots of different women to get more experience.

 

[tincup]

Yes actually I have been reading a lot of stuff recently. Last question because I really want to bang this girl. Any tips on ways to be sexual and dominant with her? And also how to do it avoid coming off as desperate. Btw I actually took another girl home last weekend from that bar we were at but we didn’t bang for some reason. Would be cool if she somehow found out.

 

[Will_V]

Yes actually I have been reading a lot of stuff recently. Last question because I really want to bang this girl. Any tips on ways to be sexual and dominant with her? And also how to do it avoid coming off as desperate. Btw I actually took another girl home last weekend from that bar we were at but we didn’t bang for some reason. Would be cool if she somehow found out.

It's very hard to say. I don't know your personality, or hers, or exactly where things are at. There are no quick fixes or universal lines in seduction.

I would suggest trying to show her a good time, rather than focusing on exactly how you will get her. Touch her often, close the distance between you two, use strong eye contact. Use your body in both a warm and dominant way. Find things that you can tease her about in a sexual way, but stay warm and fun and don't just push if she's not feeling it. Pursue other girls too.

The problem right now is you're heavily invested and your head is spinning with what she is 'doing' to you, and this is not good for seduction. Focus on having a good time with her and expressing your sexuality rather than being dependent on whether you get her or not.