Hey gents,
Been thinking about exactly how useful questions actually are in finding an answer. Like the articles here say, few women would want to give an answer that they know is a test or disadvantageous to them. So is it worth asking questions at all? How do you trust your own judgment?
I'll illustrate with an example. LTR with this girl for almost a year. She checks a lot of good boxes (loves housework, dancer, mostly mild and compliant, engaging conversationalist, great in bed, thoughtful) but also has some less ideal traits (occasional clubbing/frequent enough drinker, engages in casual sex, somewhat immature). Overall, she's been passing my tests and I'm happier with her than I've been with anyone else so far.
When we were first hooking up, I managed to get a lot of information out of her by appearing chill and laid back. Many times, she would tell me sex stories without me even asking. We were in bed one night and she told me forcefully that she would NEVER do a threesome and she doesn't understand the obsession with it. I basically shrugged my shoulders and filed it away as suspicious, considering her tone and the fact that I never even brought anything like that up.
Still later, we had a more detailed convo about our pasts and I asked her about threesomes. She paused a bit and said that she's never done one, but was in a position to do it once and declined, and that she was glad that she did. Still later, she brought it up again in passing and said something along the lines of, she was considering it and might have done it under other circumstances but ultimately didn't. I mentioned that it seemed contradictory, and she said that her framing of it the first time was a bit disingenuous and basically conveyed that she was considering it pretty heavily, but ultimately decided against it.
Even later, I asked her why she was so forceful and emotional the first time she brought it up in bed, and that it made it hard to believe her. She told me that around that time, her good friend had a few threesomes and went into a spiral because she hated the experiences, and that my girl was helping her friend manage the emotional fallout at the time.
I guess that makes sense, but I'm not sure. Is there any way I could know for sure? Should I bother pressing the topic?
Been thinking about exactly how useful questions actually are in finding an answer. Like the articles here say, few women would want to give an answer that they know is a test or disadvantageous to them. So is it worth asking questions at all? How do you trust your own judgment?
I'll illustrate with an example. LTR with this girl for almost a year. She checks a lot of good boxes (loves housework, dancer, mostly mild and compliant, engaging conversationalist, great in bed, thoughtful) but also has some less ideal traits (occasional clubbing/frequent enough drinker, engages in casual sex, somewhat immature). Overall, she's been passing my tests and I'm happier with her than I've been with anyone else so far.
When we were first hooking up, I managed to get a lot of information out of her by appearing chill and laid back. Many times, she would tell me sex stories without me even asking. We were in bed one night and she told me forcefully that she would NEVER do a threesome and she doesn't understand the obsession with it. I basically shrugged my shoulders and filed it away as suspicious, considering her tone and the fact that I never even brought anything like that up.
Still later, we had a more detailed convo about our pasts and I asked her about threesomes. She paused a bit and said that she's never done one, but was in a position to do it once and declined, and that she was glad that she did. Still later, she brought it up again in passing and said something along the lines of, she was considering it and might have done it under other circumstances but ultimately didn't. I mentioned that it seemed contradictory, and she said that her framing of it the first time was a bit disingenuous and basically conveyed that she was considering it pretty heavily, but ultimately decided against it.
Even later, I asked her why she was so forceful and emotional the first time she brought it up in bed, and that it made it hard to believe her. She told me that around that time, her good friend had a few threesomes and went into a spiral because she hated the experiences, and that my girl was helping her friend manage the emotional fallout at the time.
I guess that makes sense, but I'm not sure. Is there any way I could know for sure? Should I bother pressing the topic?
