- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,550
Just Dave has a post on the Socializing Board talking about editing your social circle. It's a good post, but I saw one thing on it that stuck out to me in particular:
I don't think this is much of a problem for guys here, but wanted to take a moment and point it out anyway - always be wary of where you're getting your advice.
Everyone's got an opinion on who you should be, what you should do, and how you should do it. A lot of these people are talking out of the side of their faces though - they don't know what they're talking about.
This is like when you go to start a business, or invest in real estate, and a bunch of people who've never started a business or invested in real estate step up to give you their opinions on what you should do. Are these really the people you want to be listening to?
Or, say Dave listened to his friends when they told him pickup is childish. Where would he be now? Probably still sitting at the bar pounding back beers with them, getting older, and talking about how women are such a big mystery, or only like men who are rich or extremely good-looking.
On a related note, much as I'm all for openness and honesty, especially when you've got something new you're working on, guard it carefully and don't go seeking counsel from inexperienced people with strongly-held opinions they've merely inherited from others. To quote Jonathan Ive, the chief designer at Apple who'd often keep projects under wraps until they were fairly far along before sharing them with the mercurial Steve Jobs so as not to see them crushed prematurely,
Be cautious in whom you choose to take counsel from. Other people can have a big impact on your confidence, actions, and opinions, even when you think they don't - the subconscious mind is a lot more pliable and open to suggestion than most folks realize.
Chase
Just_Dave said:When I first started honing my skills a lot of my friends thought it was manipulative and childish. That's why they're still single and bitter and I'm taken and striving.
I don't think this is much of a problem for guys here, but wanted to take a moment and point it out anyway - always be wary of where you're getting your advice.
Everyone's got an opinion on who you should be, what you should do, and how you should do it. A lot of these people are talking out of the side of their faces though - they don't know what they're talking about.
This is like when you go to start a business, or invest in real estate, and a bunch of people who've never started a business or invested in real estate step up to give you their opinions on what you should do. Are these really the people you want to be listening to?
Or, say Dave listened to his friends when they told him pickup is childish. Where would he be now? Probably still sitting at the bar pounding back beers with them, getting older, and talking about how women are such a big mystery, or only like men who are rich or extremely good-looking.
On a related note, much as I'm all for openness and honesty, especially when you've got something new you're working on, guard it carefully and don't go seeking counsel from inexperienced people with strongly-held opinions they've merely inherited from others. To quote Jonathan Ive, the chief designer at Apple who'd often keep projects under wraps until they were fairly far along before sharing them with the mercurial Steve Jobs so as not to see them crushed prematurely,
Jonathan Ive said:Ideas are so fragile. It is so easy to miss an idea because they can be so quiet. Or to snuff an idea out.
Be cautious in whom you choose to take counsel from. Other people can have a big impact on your confidence, actions, and opinions, even when you think they don't - the subconscious mind is a lot more pliable and open to suggestion than most folks realize.
Chase