I've been in a little bit of a rut lately and struggling to get out there and make approaches. Doesn't help that it's been raining this entire weekend, so I haven't been able to even go on a walk and put myself in a position to do some approaches. Working on getting back into meditating, exercising, and cutting down on TV to reignite that desire to game again.
Not sure what happened because I was feeling really motivated just last week, but it's been nearly 5-6 days since I've even tried to do an approach and that's just unacceptable. Hoping reading a few articles here on Girlschase and watching a video or two will get me motivated again.
I'm also considering writing down my goals with women and reading them every morning to get more motivated...remember reading that in an article somewhere. Hopefully will have more to report back soon... not giving up that easily!
I've been focusing on working on my inner game and getting motivated to go out again, and this article helped me a ton with getting in the right headspace. Denton makes a lot of good points about how a daily 30-minute session is much more valuable than a 2-3 hour session once a week. No matter how busy I am with work, I can always make time for a 30-minute walk around the block just to get out of the house and give myself a chance to make an approach...I'll never make one anyway if I stay inside my room.
Denton's strategy on using baby steps to get yourself out of the house was super useful for me and would highly recommend to others struggling with a similar problem.
My goal moving forward is to hit that 30 minutes a day mark. I went out yesterday to hit my 30 minutes. I didn't do any approaches but working on keeping eye contact with all the women that walk past me on the street and just observing and getting in that mental space of getting ready to do approaches. Plan on going out again today for 30 minutes with the intent to do at least 1-2 approaches.
On top of all this, I have started a morning routine that involves working out, meditating, taking cold showers, and some journaling/affirmations. Really want to work on my fundamentals and inner game while I work up the courage to do some cold approaches.
I know I've been radio silent this past week on my journal but had a few college friends come into town last weekend and got a bit slammed with work during the weekdays so didn't have too much to report. Definitely had time to go out on Thursday/Friday for at least a walk to get some approaches in but talked myself out of it.
Friday 9/16
Anyway, I went out Friday night with a few friends to this club that was having a disco event, so lots of hot girls dressed up and hitting the dance floor. My new strategy for the dance floor has been to just have a really good time with my friends and exhibit lots of positive energy and girls will come to our proximity. Had some success with this as I started talking to this one couple that had another girl out with them...basically was the guy with his girlfriend grinding on him and the other friend just kind of off to the side. Made eye contact with her and just basically put my hand out until she grabbed it and danced a bit and spun her around, but she kind of separated afterwards...maybe I should have just pulled her in? I think I waited a little too long to re-initiate, and she didn't go for it when I put my hand out again.
I moved on to a different part of the club with my boys, and we just kept dancing and having a really good time. Soon, these 3 girls started dancing near us and basically it was super obvious they wanted some attention. One of them started dancing right towards me and I grab her hand and spin her around. Start grinding for a few seconds and keep spinning her this way and that...but as soon as the song ends, all 3 girls leave us. In hindsight, they were probably just looking for attention and left as soon as they got validation. Live and you learn I guess
Saturday 9/17
There was a college football game going on today, so me and my wing decided to walk around campus a bit and see what trouble we could get up to. We ended up going into the student center for some respite from the heat, and I did my first approach of the day on this somewhat cute Indian girl that was posted up in a corner working on her HW. Went direct and talked to her for a minute or so, but she wasn't super interested so I kept it moving.
We went back outside, and I see this blonde in the distance with a rocking body sporting a blue mini skirt and crop top. She's pretty far away, so I speed up my pace and slowly cut down the distance. I wanted to use the technique Bacchus mentions in one of his articles where you walk past the girl and then turn and engage, so I did just that. Speed walked a bit past her and gave her about 2-3 seconds to see me and then turned my head back past my shoulder and engaged with her as I slowed down.
Me: Hey, I know this is a bit random...but I happened to be walking by and saw you...and thought you were really cute so I had to come say hi
Her: giggles a bit and offers her name up and a handshake
Me: Hey I'm TearsofJoy. So, I see you're all dressed up for the football game but you're not in the stadium with the other fans. What's up with that?
Her: Oh, I was there earlier but not that interesting so I left to find my friends
*Do a little bit more small talk (what she does in town, compliment her earrings, joke around a bit and get her laughing)
Me: Alright, well I'll let you go but let's grab a drink sometime
Her: Okay!
*Exchange numbers
I think I could have had much better control over the conversation here, but I got a little nervous with how hot she was. Still think I did a decent job pushing things forward and going for the close but really should have kept the conversation going longer because she seemed into it.
After that, me and my wing sat down on a bench and are just talking as we keep an eye on the sidewalk next to us. I distinctly remember he asked me a question, and I started to reply when I see this brunette walk by in these bright, purple pants and has these stunning eyes. I basically forget to answer my friend's question, and I'm like bro I gotta go talk to her.
Me: Hey excuse me...I know this is super random...but I was sitting with my friend over there but saw you...and thought you were really pretty, so I had to come say hi
Her: *laughs* and says she has a boyfriend
Me: Oh, that's cool. How long have you guys been together?
Her: hmm, like 4 months
Me: Oh, so nothing too serious then huh (said playfully)
Her: Noo...it kind of is
Me: Oh, so you guys are like madly in love right?
Her: Yeah... (not said with too much conviction - basically felt I had the green light to keep going)
I just continue the conversation from here and get to know her. Find out she's an international student from Spain, and she talks about how she really wanted to come to the US to experience college life and live on a campus and be away from her parents. Talk a bit about what she's studying, etc.
Her: Oh, but I have to get going...I have some friends waiting for me
Me: Yeah I have to get back to my friend but tell you what...boyfriends come and go, so I'll grab your number and shoot you a text. If you feel like responding, then okay but if not, no pressure
Her: Smiles and basically says okay
On this one, I think I could have made the conversation more emotionally charged by trying to talk about how college is a time of exploration and being open-minded for her and maybe taking that sexual. Also could have went off on a travel tangent and asked her where she would go to if she won the lottery, etc. Missed those conversational threads and think it became a bit too logical. Either way, proud of myself there for not being fazed at the boyfriend objection and getting past that and having a genuine convo and closing.
Things I am working on:
- Trying to avoid questions completely after the opener and focusing instead on making observations/cold reads to ignite better convo
- I have been trying to make eye contact with everyone I pass on the street this week and hold it...realized I am not as good at this as I expected. I have a tough time holding that extended eye contact and feel a need to break it
- Continuing to try and go out for at least 30 min a day...slacked off a bit this week but will hold myself accountable
- Trying to take conversations in a more emotional direction rather than logical
