Telling girls what you do

Light

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
427
Location
United Kingdom
Hey Guys,

If any of you ever read Chase's blog about avoiding telling girls what you do (mainly if you are in a useful job), to avoid being a useful guy to her, then I would like to ask:

"Have you ever lied or made up something about yourself?"

I like to hear about other's opinion on this, whether it is a good thing to do or not.
I've done it a few times for fun and for experimental purpose only. I wanted to find out from girls what they think of me when I tell them what I do.
I've tried telling them the following:

"I'm a Banker"
"I'm a Forex Trader"
"I'm an Accountant"
"I'm a Musician"
"I'm a Real Estate Investor"
"Oh not much.. I like to stay home and spend some quality time with my family" - (I love this one.. they usually reply "What? So you're a bum?" lol)

Surprisingly for me, I find that some girls find you very attractive when you tell them certain things you do, and some find you boring etc.

Would anyone else like to enlighten me of their own experience?


Light
 

A Life Loquacious

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
102
Location
South West England
Re: Telling girls you do

I'm fairly sure this must alter a bit according to where you're 'hunting' - for instance, in some parts of town, telling women you work for a big finance company will excite them; as to them it means you're a driven go-getter with expensive tastes - others will see you as a glib corporate whore out to impress with your unethically-sourced money and go cold on you. Personally I always try and emphasise the fact that my work isn't necessarily what I do. In fact these days if a girl asks me what I do I tend to just say 'all kinds of things, really - I have fingers in many pies' and flip the question back round on them. Then over the course of the interaction I just drop in the odd hint here and there. I know Chase has mentioned constructing your own reality on the blog, and after telling enough women this, it's true.

Actually I get paid to DJ every so often, I am involved in the gourmet coffee business and am setting up my own distribution company, write the odd paid article online and every so often get a temp job in tech support or something like that if I need some extra cash.
At the moment no one of those things is enough to sustain a properly solvent lifestyle and I refuse to let my work dictate who I am, but they don't need to know that. However no stranger really wants to hear me explain all of that every time (and nor do I fancy repeating it to everyone I meet), so the nebulous 'I do lots of things' response is actually really handy here for the sake of brevity as well as intrigue. And sometimes if I want to play with them I allude to "spending all week distributing some newly-imported columbian and peruvian product" and have them thinking I'm some big-time drug dealer for a while before I tease them for jumping to conclusions and offer to make them a coffee... Of course this can backfire if they're the kind of girl who likes cocaine and you don't have any.
 

douchecookie

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2012
Messages
19
Well I've had a problem like that but the problem with me is that if I say what I do for a living I always get put into the boyfriend/provider category... So im normally pretty vague. I just say "im in the health field" then I change the topic lol! But if they ask again then I just tell them...

I wouldnt lie though... Its not a good thing to do and when you might actually meet a chick you want to date and you already started it off with a lie... thats no bueno! :)
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,955
Hey Light,

I've known guys who would make up jobs for themselves - they'd tell girls they were a doctor, for instance. I won't do this simply because I'm very anti-lying as much as possible... everybody lies to some extent, but the more you lie, the less people trust you, and the higher your general mental load (from needing to keep track of who you've told what lies) tends to be. If you ever read Catch Me If You Can, you'll hear Frank Abagnale talking about how neurotic he became trying to keep what lie he told whom and when he told it straight in his head, and constantly worrying about being found out.

However, I don't see anything wrong with telling girls about things you do when asked what you do; e.g., I have told women I'm an actor (when taking acting classes), a writer (which I am), an unemployed vagabond (which has been somewhat true at various times), and any number of things that are, effectively, true. If pressed for details I will get concrete; if she said, "Do you act for a living?" back when I was using that one I'd say, "No, I have a day job, but acting's my dream and it's what I'm working on," and that was that - she'd never ask about the day job (probably assumed I was a waiter or barista or something like most wannabe actors).

Chase
 

Seeberman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 22, 2012
Messages
14
Finding a way to highlight a passion of yours, even if its just a feeling you have about something, even a newly found hobby, seems to be honest and cool enough for women. I often will admit I'm unemployed, and then cassually add that I am a webmaster and make money off of that, this can suprise some women, I generally like to just say I'm a fitness nut and consider my job to help others reach peak physical fitness, which is just a way of highlighting my passion, it certainly is "What i do" but not my 'job"
 

BigS

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
140
I have been thinking about this recently, as I believe that having girls wondering things about you really helps to set up the chase frame. For example, I am currently in medical school but I was thinking of telling girls that I am "in the service industry". I think this sounds vague and sets up the chase frame nicely. Additionally, if they do find out that I am in medical school, they will be pleasantly surprised.

Any thoughts on this technique?

Seth
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
1,732
I can see how being a student seems unimpressive, even if it is grad school or an advanced degree. The question, aside from gold diggers asking is meant to find commonalities between two people. I'd say medical school certainly provides plenty to talk about. Your speciality, your undergrad alma mater, future plans.

The problem for the run of the mill lower classmen undergrad who doesn't have a major is that he doesn't have something to talk about other than "hopes and dreams"
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
692
Dudes I've had a real issue with this and never really know what to say! A try to keep it vague and like many other replies a do several things and so dont wanna explain everything that a do. If they press me and ask me a will tell them just so am not starting on a lie or having to worry about being found out yah?

Some girls take my vague answer and let it go, or when I explain what my dream job is and how am focussed on that as a way to highlight my passion they usually forget about ma day job yah? A few times ma job has remained a mystery and has became a joke when comments are made from ma friends that imply a strip for a living. Am actually a fitness model part time and thats what they are joking bout me gettin paid to take ma top of yah??

Have had mixed results when people found out a worked as a shop assistant when a was younger some girls thought deadbeat and weren't interested where others didnt care. Now am older am an IT consultant it can bore girls instantly and others possibly like it cause a have a glorified job title with a good car which puts me in a provider role yah? If a mention am a model some girls go into autorejection an others are turned on with it and occasionally look to position me as a boyfriend for the status.

A find a can never really win cause different girls react differently but the more time a spend with a girl she typically finds out everything that a do cause they wander why am always so busy ya??

A mostly focus on fitness and ma music and leave the IT and modelling for when am with a girl officially or if they enquire about it yah!!
 
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