FR Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

[michaelnew321]

Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

Hi Everyone,

I'm early 30s, she's 21 yrs old. She's a 7-8 out of 10 looks-wise.

Met a girl outside of a shopping area/plaza. She had just done her nails. She was walking towards me smiling and I said hi, asked her what she was up to.
She showed me her nails, we made some small talk (where she was from, if she's in school now (she's taking a semester off), she's been in the area now for about a year, etc).

She introduced herself as one name, and then when I told her to put her # in my phone and that I'd contact her she said her name was something else because the initial name was her "model name." Thought that was weird but facebook confirmed she's legit...actually a model, etc.

Anyways, vibe was light and good, I kept joking about how she gave me a fake name, etc. got her # and told her I'd message her (yes, messed this up as I didnt set the date up right then--terrible rookie mistake, my B)...when I told her to give me her # she punched it in and then hit "send" so she'd have mine. After i told her I would msg her soon, no more than 10 min goes by and she messaged me with:

"Hey Michael, it was great meeting you. -Marie, or Heather (model name) or whatever lol"

My response almost an hour later:

"You too cutie. What's your schedule like the next week/weekend or so"

Her response 30 min later:

"thank you. i dont want to lead you on though, I am in a serious committed relationship. I don't really know a lot of people here so I'm not looking for more than friendship I hope that wasn't too forward."

Thoughts on how to respond to this? The vibe definitely was good, I feel like she's just trying to give herself an excuse if something happens. But for some of the experienced fellas on this board, could use some help/understanding particularly with how to respond.

Thanks

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Re: Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

Wait. Don't return a text. Wait for her wonder what you are up to. If she is really interest she will text you back. It may take a couple of days. She is testing you. If she doesn't text back then move on.

 

[michaelnew321]

Re: Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

Wait. Don't return a text. Wait for her wonder what you are up to. If she is really interest she will text you back. It may take a couple of days. She is testing you. If she doesn't text back then move on.

Thank you my man...I haven't responded as of yet. I figured at minimum I would be waiting till tomorrow...I will consider what you said though.

Does anyone else have any advice? I feel like if I get her out for drinks, it'll take the natural course...she seemed very interested. I could be off, but her hitting "send" on my phone so she had my # and then her messaging ME first when I told her I would msg her, seem like good indicators of interest IMHO. Just trying to establish the smoothest direction to getting her out to drinks. I guess i need to communicate basically "not looking for a gf...just some fun..." in the best way possible. As I think that's what she is down for as well

 

[Big Daddy]

Re: Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

If you decide you're going to push even after you find out she has a boyfriend, this is a perfect situation to do the following:

A) Disqualify yourself as BF material
B) Put you solidly into discreet lover territory
C) Gauge her interest be the way she responds; if she really doesn't want to cheat on her BF, she'll just ignore or decline anything you propose and then you just saved yourself a lot of time

You do this by using some sexual banter/chase framing:

"We barely met and you were already thinking about seducing me to your bedroom? I'll have to keep an eye on you when we're together "
"Actually, I'm glad you have someone to buy you nice flowers " or if you pushing hard "Actually, I'm glad you have someone to buy you nice flowers. That leaves only the fun parts for us "
"Shh, I won't tell anybody you wanted to get my number "

I actually lost a lay that still haunts me to this very day because I didn't push hard enough. Someone more experienced might have some more details to add here though.

 

[michaelnew321]

Thanks for the feedback and clear thought process.
Yes exactly, I want to DQ as boyfriend material. Mainly cause it's the truth, secondly because it helps the seduction.

So you're saying I should respond directly to her text about her "committed relationship" with one of your 3 suggested replies below? Or something else initially, and THEN one of your replies?

Also how soon would you recommend replying...how many days after her text?


"We barely met and you were already thinking about seducing me to your bedroom? I'll have to keep an eye on you when we're together "
"Actually, I'm glad you have someone to buy you nice flowers " or if you pushing hard "Actually, I'm glad you have someone to buy you nice flowers. That leaves only the fun parts for us "
"Shh, I won't tell anybody you wanted to get my number "

 

[Dude909]

Don't respond, delete number and GFTOW

(It's really easy helping newbs, it's always the same answer... You guys need to learn to focus on the 1 out of 10 girls who are interested in you and next the other 9 asap, otherwise PU becomes a time sink and mental drain)

 

[michaelnew321]

+1 to dude here. Doubt she's interested.

Go ahead and try what big daddy suggested but don't expect a response. That's a rather aggressive text, but it will weed her out as a time waster.

Radeng

Thanks, and thanks to previous posters. Good advice.

One question...you say you doubt she's interested. How would you explain her messaging/texting me first? I almost verbatim said "I'll shoot you a text soon" I think twice. It was clear and established I got her #, and I would send the message. I don't think, even in my limited experience, that girls usually do this...even interested girls don't necessarily do this.

Fwiw, this girl is a pageant girl and starting her modeling career...or trying to.

 

[michaelnew321]

Yeah could be a # of reasons. Young cute girls love orbiters. She may even be interested. She may actually be lonely like she said and want friends. Who knows. I wouldn't next her, I would still try. But if you play it cool you'll end up wasting your own time. Just keep pushing for meet but be a little overly flirty/aggressive. Expect her to bail, but if she doesn't then you'll most certainly have an easy lay/fwb situation.

Cool thanks bro. Appreciate it. I have some experience but still a beginner. But I have enough that I thought her initiating the text was a IOI.

Franco/chase, much respect. Been lurking for a year. Have started putting some of this in the field and will hopefully be posting more on progress. I'm a little older but never got around to this in my 20s...gotta get it in now or never I feel like.
If either of you have anything to add to this thread Ty much my brothas.

 

[michaelnew321]

So update... I have not texted back yet since her "I'm in a committed relationship" text. We met Sunday...

She texted me this morning (Tues) 7:45am with:

"Hey, how was your weekend?"

I think it's fair to say it's on now...yes? Any recommendations for how to proceed?

 

[Dude909]

You are definitely so fucking ON man... As an orbiter.

Why haven't you deleted her number yet?

 

[michaelnew321]

You are definitely so fucking ON man... As an orbiter.

Why haven't you deleted her number yet?

What am I missing here?
It's quite possible that's what's in her mind (orbiter). But I think her reaching back out to me cook very well mean I should be pushing for the meet etc?

Dude, why are you so dead set on essentially giving up entirely?
I understand the mindset you're trying to convey, but it seems like a potential missed opportunity if I don't push for a meet.

Thoughts from you/others on how to proceed?

 

[Big Daddy]

Dude, why are you so dead set on essentially giving up entirely?

Because he's probably right. We often get paralyzed thinking about one woman in particular that doesn't really like us that much when you could easily fuck a girl who is very into you and progress faster. I lowered my standards (I'd only consider 9+) some time ago and it did wonders for me.

Our point is... you don't know if she wants to FUCK you or if she wants something else. So you either bail out right away and go look for someone who is DTF or you send an aggressive text to gauge her interest. If she's DTF she'll let you know, otherwise she'll be off put by your reply and now you know she won't be fucking you anytime soon.

I always send super aggressive texts to be sure before I move on, by don't expect anything because chances are she's not necessarily DTF. Dude just moves on because that's less investment and less draining. It's up to you, but the end result will almost be the same (you'll have to move on).

 

[michaelnew321]

I see. So even though she texted back again unprompted, you guys are saying that isn't necessarily DTF signs...but most likely (whatever--NOT DTF though) signs? And therefore go find the girls who are clearly DTF (i.e. Not sending me aggressive texts saying they're in committed relationships). Got ya.

Big daddy, 2 questions if you don't mind:

1) what would your reply look like here to her "how was your weekend" text and how soon would you send it?
2) by lowering your standards from 9+, have you found that also increased your 9+ conquests? Basically did it still help with 9+ ranges...cause obviously it helped with 8s or less it sounds like.

Dude, why are you so dead set on essentially giving up entirely?

Because he's probably right. We often get paralyzed thinking about one woman in particular that doesn't really like us that much when you could easily fuck a girl who is very into you and progress faster. I lowered my standards (I'd only consider 9+) some time ago and it did wonders for me.

Our point is... you don't know if she wants to FUCK you or if she wants something else. So you either bail out right away and go look for someone who is DTF or you send an aggressive text to gauge her interest. If she's DTF she'll let you know, otherwise she'll be off put by your reply and now you know she won't be fucking you anytime soon.

I always send super aggressive texts to be sure before I move on, by don't expect anything because chances are she's not necessarily DTF. Dude just moves on because that's less investment and less draining. It's up to you, but the end result will almost be the same (you'll have to move on).

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Michael,

You on a raft that is sinking. There is another raft that is ok but you can't see it. If you hold on you are going to get sucked down with your raft but your brain won't let you go out of fear. It is the same with this girl. You made a contact and had some success. You have an investment but now she is a sinking cause. Your brain is telling you it is safer to hold on to what you have. But the true is the other raft is just a short swim. Save yourself from sinking. Let go and swim to the next raft. Psychologically it is tough to do this. I struggle with it. But you have to to progress.

BDSC

 

[Big Daddy]

@BDSC

That's some shady user name right there hahaha

@Michael

1) Right away. "Well, I was about to tell you, but I don't know how naive you are, so I'll leave it alone... " she'll probably tell it's fine to tell, but it doesn't matter what she says; then tell her what radeng mentioned about "I got you number because I think you're cute" and go from there. Or if there's a good context, some variation of what I said in the first post. But go meet other women anyways.

2) Yep. By lowering you standards you're able to get reference points, get warmed up and see patterns over and over again. It's like failing to get a PR in the gym, then deload and work on your form back up. You'll probably get it next time.

 

[michaelnew321]

Thanks. The gym/PR analogy makes sense, I'm always in the gym so good one to use with me. Thanks again. I'll update as it goes.

@BDSC

That's some shady user name right there hahaha

@Michael

1) Right away. "Well, I was about to tell you, but I don't know how naive you are, so I'll leave it alone... " she'll probably tell it's fine to tell, but it doesn't matter what she says; then tell her what radeng mentioned about "I got you number because I think you're cute" and go from there. Or if there's a good context, some variation of what I said in the first post. But go meet other women anyways.

2) Yep. By lowering you standards you're able to get reference points, get warmed up and see patterns over and over again. It's like failing to get a PR in the gym, then deload and work on your form back up. You'll probably get it next time.

 

[michaelnew321]

Update:

7:43am
Her: Hey, how was your weekend?

6:06pm
Well, I was about to tell you, but seeing as though you can't remember your own name, not sure you'll remember much of anything

6:26pm (we are using iMessage, and she immediately starting replying at 6:06pm but waited to send...):
Her: Haha you kill me. (insert real name) and (insert model name), I go by both lol (insert link to her FB) add me.

7:16pm
Us old folk don't use FB. I got your # cause I think you're cute and if you're interested we'll grab a drink sometime in the next few days...let me know.

7:26pm
Her: Haha if you don't have a facebook you must not be a human, or you're married lol

7:47pm
We barely met and you're already trying to seduce me from my wife of 50 years? I knew you were trouble the moment I saw you

8:02pm
Her: Hey, that sounds like it could be the start of a good Taylor swift song lol
8:08pm
Her: So if you're not on facebook you must LinkedIn then? Let's grab coffee sometime next week

8:36pm
You will find out everything when we meet up...curious (insert model name). What's your schedule like in general

8:37pm
Her: I am so curious!
How is breakfast on Friday? (comments: WTF??? hahahahahaha. Not sure what I'm gonna say here yet but I laughed so hard at this - ok I replied and edited this response now)

9:05pm
Us non-models of the world have jobs Nights are only possible. What are a few nights that would work

So far no response from her. I did notice she messaged at 7:43am today, and now suggested Fri morning breakfast (wtf?). As she seems like she has agreed to meet even after knowing my intentions, is it possible the only free time (time away from her bf or that she doesnt have to account for with her bf) she has are mornings...and maybe she can't come out and directly say it? The breakfast thing just seemed BIZARRE, so thinking of potential reasons. Even so, I have no idea how I would communicate to her "if you can only hook up in the mornings, we can figure something out" without sounding ridiculous.

Question in general: I mentioned drinks...she agreed to coffee. Is it best to let it be as she agreed to the date, or push for what I said initially (drinks, implying alcohol)?
The fact she said breakfast I know is just ridiculous, I will make it clear it must be at night. Just wondering the whole drink suggestion, her trying to take the lead and agrees to coffee...etc etc...

 

[Big Daddy]

Don't get so attached to the idea that it must happen during night time when you can drink alcohol. I have a date scheduled for 3 pm at Saturday. We'll go to a coffee shop nearby where I can either pull her home or suggest something else.

If you thought that her suggestion of breakfast has to do with "just being friends", well, I don't think there's any direct correlation. If you look up other reports on this board will see all kinds of weird date setups that ended in a bed.

Still, if doesn't work for you, don't bend your schedule just to fit it in. If you're good then just do it (maybe brunch on weekends, etc). It might have something to do with her BF, yeah.

I have no idea how I would communicate to her "if you can only hook up in the mornings, we can figure something out" without sounding ridiculous.

"Breakfast? That's innovative right there. Mornings are impossible for me, I only have free time during evenings. Are you free on Friday or Sunday about 7 pm?" "When do you have a free evening?" etc

Don't over complicate things. If she likes you, she'll bend everything to see you, by which point you're certain that she wants to fuck you and now you got the high ground because she's investing so much. You're the fucking boss, she's the one that has to please you.

In fact, the girl I mentioned early said she was going out on Friday night and I purposefully tried to set up Friday 7 pm to see if she'd cancel her plans just to see me. It didn't happen, but no biggie; I just said "kay, how about Saturday like 3 pm?" and boom, done.

 

[michaelnew321]

All good advice. Yes, I think I took the "breakfast" comment as a swipe at me, but it very well could just be her main free time.
but like you said, and like I know I did correctly...nah, breakfast is the worst time for me. Nights for the week or on a weekend, like most people with day jobs...

She hasn't responded like I said, and I absolutely won't be texting back till I hear back. Unless of course its best to hit her back up in a week or two of radio silence, which I remember Chase mentioning probably in the "how to text" article.

I'll update with any new info.

 

[michaelnew321]

She responded 9:45am today:

Oh my gosh jobs? That sounds like a travesty lol I'm so sorry to hear that.
Does next week work for you at all?
<<

So...she's gotta know my intentions by now and still seems down.