FR Text Response Advice: Experienced Playas HELP!!

[Big Daddy]

Well, I'd go for it and push hard at the date.

 

[michaelnew321]

yes, definitely gonna push hard back to my/her place. Question: she said coffee earlier. Should I just plan for a thurs/fri coffee meet up, or mention drinks since its late at night.
are coffee dates even common that late at night? Seems weird to me. Figured I'd ask, you guys all know better.

I texted her back at about 6 pm today (was at an all day conference) and said "how does thurs/fri at 730pm sound" - haven't heard back yet

 

[Big Daddy]

I have never taken a girl out for drinks for a couple of reasons:

A) Coffee is simpler, cozier and cheaper
B) I can't have a decent conversation at a bar with people screaming and shouting all over the place
C) Coffee is more "inoffensive" and there's nothing much to do besides talk; so I know sooner or later we'll run out of this to say and I'll say "come, let's go watch a movie at my place/have drinks at my place/I'll show you the pictures I told you earlier"

It's personal preference, though. Not really my territory. If you prefer drinks, you'll probably do better asking her out for drinks.

 

[michaelnew321]

Big daddy thanks for all your suggestions and help.

As I've never done coffee dates ever, splitting the bill still applies I guess.
Which with coffee is probably just buying mine and then having her buy hers separately.
How do you handle any confusion/awkwardness with paying as it relates to coffee dates, since you do them all the time

 

[TheChased]

Interesting case you have here, I have been with a lot of women with boyfriends.. Not intentionally most of the time, but I never see it as a problem if she seems down. Even married/engaged women is sometimes DTF, so I would probably test it out! But I would set a limit to two dates, if there's no fuck by then.. drop her! It's just gonna drag you down by then. I don't see a problem with coffee dates at all, sometimes it even escalates to some drinks later! But as Big Daddy says, you get a much more intimate conversation, much easier to deepdive if you ask me. Yesterday I scheduled a coffee date, ended up with a beer down at the harbor. Really weird actually, we saw a junkie shoot heroin and then he went on to fish! hahah wth.. I always like it when it's quiet, if you're both comfortable, then it's easier to have her open up. This girl I was with even told me: "Wow, I have really told you so much about myself that only my best friend knows about me." Tossed in some Chase-frames and even asked about her toys in her night drawer -> went to her place and you know the rest of the story. So quiet places work best for me

And as mentioned before, I don't see the time set for the date have to put any stoppers for you. If you of course actually can make it at that time. As for paying for the coffee, since she's in a relationship I wouldn't pay for it. If she was single, I don't see it as a problem because it's what? 3.50$?(From Europe, so don't know your prices). I rarely pay, but sometimes I just do it as of convenience. So I think it's up to you on that point, some guys always pay for her coffee, and it doesn't really change anything.

Hope she text back and is DTF, as girls that are committed can be really fun. (Fuck at weird places and what not, do weird shit that her boyfriend doesn't want to do with her or for whatever reason). And when you have fucked her.. You have ALL the power, if you want to end it, she can't do shit! And you don't need to put out the "I don't want a relationship" and all that shit, as it's already worked out because she has a boyfriend.

Cheers
-TC

 

[michaelnew321]

Thanks thechased for weighing in and sending the encouragement. Everything you've said I've noted.

Still haven't heard from her, which is maybe a little weird. See what happens.

 

[Big Daddy]

At coffee, I just get there a min early and order mine first. Or just give my order and pay before she's even done deciding. Either way there should be no conversation about it, you just lead and she'll follow. Don't pause, just keep chatting and do it in such a way that it would be weirder to have paid together.

That's an incredible idea! I'll test this on my date on Saturday if I get there early. I'm always late ;/

What I'll generally do is ask for the bill, and calculate my half out loud "coffee is $3, plus water $1, that's $4. [To the waitress] So mine is $4. Here." And then just chat normally.

@Michael

I just assume we're going to split the bill. That's it. Just act like it's OBVIOUS you were going to split, 'cause please, you don't pay for bitches. Specially in this case since she has a boyfriend. If she brings this up afterwards (which I'd love the opportunity to pass her test), I'll just say "well... you got your BF to buy you fancy things "

 

[michaelnew321]

Haha...cause you don't pay for bitches.

Noted.

Still no reply from her to me "how about Thurs/Fri at 730pm" text.
1) How long do I wait till sending another text (if at all)
2) Is it bad to suggest Thurs & Fri here as it may come off like I don't have other options? (remember, this is not this week...this is for NEXT week, a full 7 days in advance).

 

[Big Daddy]

Just wait 3-4 days if she doesn't send you anything. I'm going back and fourth with 3 girls right now setting up logistics for dates and I thought I pushed too far with one of them and she didn't reply for about 4-5 hours, and I got kinda worried because I thought I blew it up. Then she sent "I thought I had answered you!" They're a lot more forgiving if they like you.

Still, I'm probably going to run in an issue here and that might be your case as well: out of the 3, the hotter one is the one I mentioned above. We're not finding a mutual free time. She's doesn't have time during the week and she's going to a festival on Saturday that will happen from 3 pm to 3 am. I have a date scheduled on Saturday afternoon as I told you, and I don't know if I'll fuck the girl, and if I do, I don't how much time it will take.

So I have two options: try to fuck girl #1, go to festival, try to fuck girl #2 OR try to fuck girl #1 and set up a date on the following weekend with girl #2. On one side, party dates are horrible for pulling and seducing girls and on the other, attraction has an expiration date. So I'll have to bet. If I can't find a good time to meet her during the week, I'm probably going to bend my schedule and go to the festival just so I can fuck up and gather experience from that situation since I'd probably lose her anyways. Even if it's awkward. I won't expect anything out it.

The festival might be fun as well

 

[ray_zorse]

This seems to be dead in the water, I must say I was pretty skeptical after that text in which she pretty much covered her arse, and gave herself a bulletproof response to any escalation on your part "Hey, I TOLD you this was just a friendly hangout". Her subsequent behaviour muddied the waters a lot (weirdness) but I suppose her initial unfiltered response to something is more likely to be the true one, rather than some extra shit she might have said in a more manipulative vein after thinking it through. Honestly this appears a "Hail Mary" situation, I personally never send "Hail Mary" texts because when I know attraction is/was there I prefer to keep options open for if I happen to bump into her again, then I haven't ruined the tension and I can continue trying to build attraction. For my part I always NEXT if they din't respond to icebreaker (first level of screening) or if they pull any complicated crap before the date -- I just don't reply.
Ray

 

[michaelnew321]

Still no reply...

Figured I might as well text back tomorrow. Any suggestions of what to say? Was thinking "Hey ____! Let me know about Thurs night..Fri night is out now. Morning possible as I'm off from work Fri. - Me"

 

[Big Daddy]

NEXT!

 

[michaelnew321]

I texted Monday (last) night at 7:30pm

"Hey (model name)/(real name)/something... Fri night no good now but fri morn is (off from work) or Thurs night. Let me know."

She responded this morning:
10:27am
"My girlfriend is coming in from out of town before my national pageant this weekend, but would next weekend work?"

She's a pagaent girl...her FB confirms she's not BSing about the national pagaent.

Best way to proceed? Probably should leave the ball in her court now but I genuinely think everything she's said is legit and she's busy preparing for this pageant.

Thoughts?

 

[michaelnew321]

Ok, won't respond and I'll follow your advice. Thanks