Texting advice help. What happened here?

[Cacc]

Yo,

tryna figure out what happened here with a girl that was very, very interested and compliant on the approach. You guys be the judge:

me: Hi Pamela! Loved meeting you. Save my number *kissy face*
her: It was nice meeting you too! It's saved already

I text her the next day:

me: Pamela what's your schedule look like
her: I am not sure yet, because of the hurricane school got cancelled. They are suppose to give us an answer sometime this weekend. I'll let you know
me: cool

She never lets me know, so I wait a week later and say this:

me: hey Pamela hows ur week started? Lets go out this week
her: Hii I am so sorry, I just got home from the gym
her: It's a little crazy, but okay though what about yours?
me: haha no worries
her: Closer to weekend is better for Me
her: I'll let you know
her: To the*
me: same. which days tho?

She never got back to me after that. Is it a mistake to try and persist over text msg? The reason I sent out that last text was because I didn't want her to flake again.

It's kind of weird because she's putting in quite a bit of effort in her texting but she still flaked twice on me.

Did you guys notice anything wrong here?

 

[NealIRC]

Wow, definitely friendzoned. How the hell did you get her number?

Maybe you got her number the wrong way.

 

[lostnumber]

Cacc, here is my critique and pointers for improvement:

1) Your texting is too impersonal and you are trying to get a date set up without getting any kind of investment or buy-in on her part.

Your first message was good and is in the standard playbook, but then you jumped from there to "what's your schedule" No rapport, no banter, nothing. Did she agree to go on a date with you during the appoach? If so you should use a callback to remind her of that. If not then you need to build a date frame. Even simple tweaks can make a huge difference, and you don't need to be an A+ level writer to do better than "what's ur schedule"

Example: If I recall correctly, we had a date to schedule here What's your week looking like?

That reminds her of meeting you and agreeing to go on a date, and asks for the information in a much more interesting and playful way. Or, if she didn't agree to a date specifically you can build a frame and ask her out.

2) Use proper spelling and punctuation when you text. Its very clear that the first message you sent was a copy-pasted opener and the rest is how you normally text people, and your normal texting style could use an upgrade from the perspective of attracting women. Capitalize the first word of each sentence, use complete sentences and punctuation, and never use misspellings like "ur"

Notice how she was doing this in most of her texts and how much more sophisticated they look compared to yours? When you get better at texting (or you're already sleeping with a girl) you can drop some of this stuff if you want, but as a rule its way better to be too classy than to come off like you're a 15 year old gamer on the internet

3) Trying to overcome resistance or be demanding over text is socially awkward and will never work. In real life, you can be insistant and demanding because a girl will either have to stand up to your pressure or give in, and if your will is strong enough she will often be forced to cave. Over text its the easiest thing in the world for her to walk away and ignore you completely, which is what happened.

In your case I would have accepted what she gave you but turned it back around and taken control of the frame by suggesting times that work for you. General rule of thumb is that you want to get a girl to tell you what times work for her so you aren't throwing out ideas that she'll say no to, but in this case you've tried that and she is giving you the runaround.

Example: "Closer to the weekend is better for me too, so that'll work good! I could do something Thursday night or Sunday afternoon, any preference?"

See how much more saavy and natural that is? This is a very useful trick in general where you are essentially accepting her frame of an interaction, but than taking control and interpreting it in a way that is favorable to you. What she is really saying is "I'm not 100% sure if I want to go on a date with you, so let me keep you waiting in orbit right now while I look at all my options" You are turning that into date logistics and trying to nail something down, but she can hardly object since you are agreeing with her!

This girl is clearly trying to keep you in orbit as an option. You're instincts are 100% spot on that you need to force her to put something on the calendar, but the way you went about it could use some tweaks

Hope that helps!

 

[mindful]

I agree with lostnumber.

just want to emphasize that you need to be more warm with your texting and punctuation. The way you ask for the dates is kind of needy and not in an interesting way.

You need to text with a more carefree attitude in the way lostnumber does in his texting example. Giving girls a few options for different days is also a good idea. It shows you are leading but at the same time giving her options so it doesn't look like you are completely chasing and giving her all the power like you did in your last text message. That text is kind of needy and communicating to her that you will meet her on any day she chooses.

Also, when she mentions she just got home from the gym you could of texted her a playful message relating to that. Instead, you don't even respond to her question back to you about how your week is going. I'm surprised she texted you back after that as you sort of gave her an "out" to not respond.

I would chalk this as a loss but more importantly a learning experience in how to proceed with future girls. This is a simple fix so don't beat yourself up over it.

 

[Cacc]

here's the approach

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=17089


P.S: I agree that I messed up my text game somehow. But I don't agree with the advice that was given above. I do agree that my last text came off needy, though.

 

[lostnumber]

here's the approach

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=17089


P.S: I agree that I messed up my text game somehow. But I don't agree with the advice that was given above. I do agree that my last text came off needy, though.

Cacc: "I messed up with texting, but I'm not sure exactly what happened. Anyone have any ideas?"

GC Member who is really good at texting: "Hi cacc, here are some of my thoughts on where you went wrong and where you could improve"

Cacc: "I dont agree with anything you said. Clearly I messed up since what I said didnt work, but I'm not interested in the strategies you use that have proven very effective for you"

*shrug*
Best of luck to you man.

 

[Cacc]

lostnumber,

I'd appreciate it if you no longer contributed to my threads.

thanks

 

[lostnumber]

Have no fear of that. I have no desire to waste my time on someone who asks for advice then blows it off when its given to him.

Best of luck to you champ

 

[foggy]

Read Seppuku's advice on this situation here:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14973

 

[andersen09]

Lostnumber gave some solid feedback.

 

[mindful]

Read Seppuku's advice on this situation here:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewt ... =4&t=14973

I was thinking of this thread earlier for a different post. GOLD