Texting issue

[ray_zorse]

So I did a number of approaches today, I haven't been going direct lately because of the high pressure, and also because having done quite a few of them I feel it's getting a bit rehearsed and not natural. So I'm working on the idea of giving each woman an individual compliment rather than just "you look amazingly cute" and stumbling a bit, in the meantime I spoke to quite a few girls anyway just for practice.

The most promising is [V], I was eating in a cafe when she came in and ordered at the counter, and I thought "this woman looks hot, if she comes and sits near me then it will be an approach invitation and I'm gonna open her", well hello, she sat down right next to me and so I opened with "hi there" and my name and got introduced, we were in a business district and she was dressed in businessy clothing (but sexy, very well put together), so I started asking her about her work, is she on a break, etc, and her accent, turns out she's French and has been here for 8 months and works for a utility here doing work that's coincidentally very similar to mine, we were in good shape.

About halfway through the interaction I asked her if she had met any boyfriends in this 8 months and she said no, she has only been hanging around with French people, so I said we'll have to fix that up for you, but also that I've heard French men are extremely sexy, and she laughed, this was the only real sexual framing I got in, but it was better than nothing. The only real problem with the interaction was I probably voluntarily shared a bit too much info about myself, my work and my travels. But she seemed to be into it, so maybe all I did was skip some steps. Hmm. I'll try to be more mysterious in future.

She started checking her schedule and looking like going, so I suggested we swap numbers and meet up for a longer conversation later, and she was down (I hadn't asked earlier because I was hoping to establish more of an emotional connection before going for the number). For the first time I remembered to do the recommended procedure of getting her number, texting her, and having her make sure she got it, and this worked very well. (In other interactions my icebreaker texts have been of the form "save my number" and this does not seem to work well).

So I sent her an icebreaker a few hours later as follows:

Ray: hope you got to your meeting on time cu
[V]: Yes, thanks
Enjoy your day off
Catch you soon

This woman is keen! I never had a response to an icebreaker before!

I don't want to fuck it up. I plan to wait a few days and then say "hi [V], I hope your week has turned out as good as mine Let's meet up over the weekend for a drink and chat. What would suit you best?" ... is this the right move? I have been doing the recommended procedure of "hi [nickname], [some new information about myself], [asking how she is/a question about something she had planned etc], [let's meet up and asking about her schedule]" and this seems to result in long unwieldy texts which slant the investment equation in her favour and seldom elicit a response anyway. Can I streamline it as proposed?

I'm keen to meet her on Friday after work since I have it free and we'll both be in the same area (but of course she might not be free so I'm not going to suggest Friday right off the bat). As it's currently Wednesday should I wait until Friday morning before doing as I've proposed above, or should I try to lock it in earlier?

cheers, Ray

 

[Smith]

"hi [V], I hope your week has turned out as good as mine Let's meet up over the weekend for a drink and chat. What would suit you best?"

I used to use the long winded text, but then I found this works better, especially if you had a good connection with her. If you think she's keen, then strike while the iron is hot. Otherwise, I would usually wait a day or two, which doesn't really hurt your chance that much anyway.

and one more thing, the more you don't wanna fuck it up, the more likely you will fuck it up lol at least that's my experience. So relax. Just do your best to get her in bed.

Good luck bro!

- Smith

 

[ray_zorse]

Haha, well I probably did fuck it up.

I calculated that if she's keen then I should go for straight compliance and not even ask her a question at all. So this is what I sent this morning, hadn't had your reply at that stage:

Ray: hiya [V] hope you're solving a lot of operational problems today let me know when would suit you in the coming days to meet up

The first bit is a reference to the fact that we both work in analysis of companies' operations.

No response after 5hrs so I guess I hadn't established enough of an emotional connection. This is why I hadn't asked for the number during the interaction so I guess my instincts were correct on that.

Thanks for the advice though.

cheers, Ray

Edit: After 6hrs she comes back with this:

[V]: Hi Ray
Have got a busy week. But I'm available on Thursday. how does it sound ?
[V]

Oh, well. Hmm. That's 6 days away. I guess I can say OK. But I don't really want her to hold leverage on me for that long. In any case Thursdays aren't that great for me. What to do? I'm thinking of replying "Let's discuss it closer to the time. Where ru located btw?"

 

[ray_zorse]

Replied the following morning as follows:

10:47 Ray: okay, we can pencil it in..where ru located btw?
17:35 [V]: Hi Ray
We could catch up in the cbd around 7:00
Is it ok for you?
[V]
18:09 Ray: That sounds fine, I suggest [restaurant] [address]. I haven't eaten there yet but the bar downstairs is okay. I'm not sure if u can reserve but if so i will, OK?
18:27 [V]: Ok ! For me

So she dodged my question re logistics, I'm not actually in the CBD that afternoon but I can get there, it's OK. Anyway I chose "pencil it in" because I would have felt like a dick keeping it free for her if she then cancelled later when a better offer came up. But later I decided not to bother playing text games etc and she seems to be responding a bit faster now which is good. So maybe the push-pull was for the best.

cheers, Ray

 

[Whizzy]

Only thing I can think to say is that your last text to her sounded oddly long, you could probably eliminate everything after stating the restaurant and address. I know if i get texts that are too long I tend not to read them sometimes, also the part after already has you putting in more effort than her

 

[ray_zorse]

Yes, I agree. Thanks for the feedback. The investment equation really kills me sometimes. I was doing better in this interaction before I flip flopped. The text timing really put me off TBH. I wonder if she was shit testing me/playing text games. Someone mentioned that European women do not check their phones regularly as Americans (and my country women) do? Hmm.

I need to be more outcome independent for the date. This is tricky since I am getting pretty experienced w first date scenarios but most of them have been with pretty submissive, shy Asian girls. I don't have a lot of experience dating girls of my own race, especially high value career women. I think she will throw up some shit tests which I may or may not be prepared for. I want to dismiss them with an "aww that's cute" look and refuse to qualify myself to her. But I'm already qualifying my choice of restaurant. I have to be careful not to do this especially when she finds out its a 1hr wait for a table. At least I can get some deep diving in over wines in the meantime. Well, I'll just try to relax, not give a shit and hold my frame Have to act bored if she starts rabbiting on too.

cheers, Ray

 

[Whizzy]

The one hour wait thing could be interesting, how close is her or your place to the restaurant. It would be ballsy but could also pay off if there is a wait to just offer to cook at either place instead. Much more private and do I need to say more?

 

[ray_zorse]

That would be a pretty bold move. If my logistics were better I would give it a shot. I'll make sure my car is close by, just in case, but my feeling is I need the 1hr to build more rapport and screen for logistics. I'm guessing she lives alone in some trendy inner city area so I might do better moving things back to her place, ASD may prevent this happening on a first date but if I can frame it as just being to cook I may be in good shape.

Luckily I am a great cook so what I might do is screen her on cooking abilities and preferred cuisines (I am not good at French though I have been researching the idea of doing a cordon bleu course and meeting more women there). Then if I can see a way forward I'll pull the trigger and suggest we blow. Great idea man, thanks. Having a rapid screening agenda will also help me overcome any nervousness Only slight issue is the investment equation if I am doing the cooking but I can get around this by ordering her to be my hands and do everything.

cheers, Ray