Texting question

[Geebs]

So I told the first part of this story in the board before. I went out with this girl a few times, failed to escalate, and the girl I assume went into some pretty bad auto-rejection. Telling me she wasn't romantically interested in me the next time I invited her out. When she told me this I explained that I understood her decision and that I would miss her. We've spent 3-4 months pretty much ignoring each other. But in recent history, about a month ago, just before I left on vacation she had started waving at me and saying hi to me in person(no talking just polite greeting, more than we had been doing previously), it felt like she wanted something from me.

So, yesterday, I tried following the advice in this post:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... ack?page=2

specifically this part :

DO be nonchalant. "Hey Karen, figured I'd drop you a line since we haven't connected in a few weeks. Just got back from the East Coast and starting to delve back into work again... ugh. Hope life's been treating you excellent... let me know what's new with you! - Chase" Treat the situation as if no one is to blame and the two of you are just reconnecting after a little time being busy with your own things. If you have some hurt feelings, stifle them; phone calls and text messages are not the places to be airing grievances or bandying about bad emotions. You want to be a breath of fresh air; a provider of good feelings and peace. That's the kind of thing that will make a woman want to pick up the phone and start talking to you, because she probably doesn't get it anywhere else in her life.

I sent her a text saying I just got back from vacation, briefly (in a sentence) saying what I had done and that I hoped she had been spending a good summer. Also referencing something we had talked about when we had been hanging out.

She answered back that afternoon, telling me she had been on vacation as well. She did not ask anything about my trip, nor asking me anything in general. She simply wished that my summer would continue to be as good as it had started. It felt like a bit of a brush off. Like a "yes I got your text, sounds like you're doing well so am I, but I don't want to know about anything more nor do anything with you".

Do you guys have any suggestions?

 

[Franco]

Geebs,

This one sounds pretty dead in the water. A girl has to go out of her way to tell you that she's not romantically interested, and when she does, it's almost always because it is true. She wouldn't risk her chance of losing you if she thought there actually was a chance.

I would say: "on to the next girl." =)

- Franco

 

[Geebs]

Alright... thanks..

 

[Geebs]

What would you guys think about texting back something along the lines of:

" 'some comment about her text' It's nice to see you responding again, seems like you're warming back up to me. "

 

[Dunking Style]

What would you guys think about texting back something along the lines of:

" 'some comment about her text' It's nice to see you responding again, seems like you're warming back up to me. "

She's supposed to be craving your attention..not the other way around!
The text sounds like you are seeking her approval and coming from a lower position of power. You're thankful because..she texts you back??!! That's ridiculous man..because you should be the dude that girls could only dream of having! Also..another point that you talked about: the girl has already politely rejected you..and is just being polite not to make things awkward in the future. A girl texting back does not mean she is warming up to you. She could be thrilled, jubilant or excited. She could also be dreading about receiving your text..with a big sigh.

IMO Franco's assessment is spot on..and moving on will probably be best for all.
Next time though..don't be the peasant begging the king for attention. We've all been there before..and it feels horrible! You're in good hands over here at GC..and with time and practice..you will be that guy that girls desire.

 

[Geebs]

Next time though..don't be the peasant begging the king for attention.

Are you saying this because of the initial text I sent to which I got a reply or because of my suggestion of the second one?

I see what you are saying that the second text comes of as needy and hoping to get attention(i did not end up sending that). But to the same extent, her demeanor and behavior in person feels like that is what she is doing with me. Waving at me from a few feet away, saying hi to me in a bit of a coy way. It feels like she is supplicating with me to get attention. I'm just not really sure how to handle it given her previous rejection of me. It feels like I should be throwing her a bone to encourage more of her trying to get my attention.

I would like to highlight that the last time we were out together, I failed to escalate despite her asking me if I was ready to leave the bar (implying that we were going to leave together) and as we were leaving started being critical of her smoking habit when she started smoking in front of me. From her body language she got very frustrated when I did this and when we were in the car together she started trying to play down her habit as if trying to convince me that she didn't do it often and wasn't a very regular habit. It was a few days later, the next time I tried organizing something with her, that she rejected me.

 

[Geebs]

So, she blew off my text. But the next time she saw me in person she came up to me and started asking me about my vacation. I gave her short and the the point answers. She elaborated a lot when I reciprocated the question. I finished with a joke that she laughed at and went back to what I was doing.

WTF do I do now?

 

[Richard]

Completely agree with Franco, just move on to the next one. Start to develop an abundance mentality, understand that other girls are out there so don't devote your attention to this one at all.
My perspective on this is she may have plan B'ed you, so, you're currently a guy who's there just in case. I assume she's moved on and is seeing other men because she has that luxury since your some of your texting showed you were looking for her attention. The best thing to do now is flip it on her, go completely aloof and make no effort to talk to her or text her, let her make every move to get your attention, and if and only IF! she does this, reward her with small talk, don't over react, don't get too excited, play it cool and smooth. It shows that her contacting you has little or no effect on you, that whether she is there or not doesn't bother you.