Texting styles in 2024 - Minimalist vs Rapport-building

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Texting seems to be a massive sticking point not just in seduction, but for guys in general (at least based on the fact that @Chase's articles on texting have the highest number of comments).

As most of us here probably know, there are broadly two styles of texting that are discussed in this community:

The first, which I'll refer to as the "minimalist style", the flagship style of GC, is explained in detail in this article How to text a girl in 2022. The aim is to meet the girl face-to-face using as few texts as possible. This structure has been my go-to for the past 5 years. The advantage is that it saves time and energy, because you always know exactly what sort of text to send. It also differentiates you from the vast majority of guys who are texting girls day and night nonstop. The disadvantage, in my experience, is that unless you built very strong floor of rapport with her in person (e.g. through an insta-date), the chance of her not responding is high.

The second, which I'll call the "rapport-building style" (perhaps "investment-building" is more appropriate?) is described by @Skills in his texting guide post and largely similar to what @Hector Papi Castillo teaches in his ebook on texting. The goal, rather than keeping it to just a few carefully-worded texts, is to build some compliance and rapport with her via text prior to "hard closing" so that she is more likely to say yes to the date request.

Here's the structure as outlined by Skills:
open > wait for a response prior to double texting and give it time > banter/flirt/get her to qualify etc....>soft close> hard close

I've started experimenting with this approach recently, and while I find it more time-consuming (probably because I'm not very practiced with it yet), it does do a better job of capturing engagement with girls from day game whom I didn't get the chance to establish much rapport in person. The disadvantages are that it's hard to get right, you're competing for attention with countless other guys who are also texting her, and you can't use any of your seduction fundamentals (body language, voice tonality, non-verbals, etc) to your advantage.

Then there is a third method which @Teevster teaches in these articles, which is to discard texting altogether and instead send girls short video messages. He claims that this massively improved his response rate from girls. I've not tried it much yet, but I can see video messages being a powerful way of setting yourself apart from the hordes of men in her inbox. Of course, it takes balls, and surely a lot of practice to be able to send the perfect video message that captures your vibe without coming across as chasing. Of all the strategies though, I'd wager that this is the one that offers the greatest ROI once you've got it nailed.

So my question to the community is: what has been your experience with these different styles of texting? Is the answer perhaps that a situational approach is best - minimalist for girls you build a strong floor with in person, while using the compliance-building approach for the girls you didn't have much in-person time with? Also, if you've tried video messages, what has been your experience with it?
 

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Tool-Bearing Hominid
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After testing different texting styles, the one that works the best for me is to text for logistics with a bit of banter/pings in between the dates, following the recommandations in Hector's book.

Honestly if you just copy paste texts from the "14 ways to text girls" article, it already works much better than everything you could do as a beginner or even an intermediate. Those are exceptionally effective.
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Honestly if you just copy paste texts from the "14 ways to text girls" article, it already works much better than everything you could do as a beginner or even an intermediate. Those are exceptionally effective.
Agreed. It's a simple and effective method, and most importantly frees up time for you to focus on other areas of your game (which is crucial in the beginner-intermediate phase).

My only concern is that it perhaps seems more efficient than it actually is. Yes it saves time for you, but you might lose girls that you could otherwise have gotten had you gone the banter/rapport-building route.
 

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Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Agreed. It's a simple and effective method, and most importantly frees up time for you to focus on other areas of your game (which is crucial in the beginner-intermediate phase).

My only concern is that it perhaps seems more efficient than it actually is. Yes it saves time for you, but you might lose girls that you could otherwise have gotten had you gone the banter/rapport-building route.

Not really, quite the opposite. You lose girls when you get mired in long text convos irrelevant to seduction, not when you don't text enough. It's not even about saving time, texting less is just higher odds unless you're an expert

I would still recommand doing a bit of banter because otherwise your texting will sound robotic and girls might flake.
 

Skills

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You should field test all styles and all styles work...also, it depends on the situation I do and advocate minimalist style for example when traveling or with girls that do no speak native language...i will point out to follow the style of the guys that are actually getting laid the most via texting or heavy texting use such as online, guess what stuff or variation they use? Where is my mirror??
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Not really, quite the opposite. You lose girls when you get mired in long text convos irrelevant to seduction, not when you don't text enough. It's not even about saving time, texting less is just higher odds unless you're an expert

I would still recommand doing a bit of banter because otherwise your texting will sound robotic and girls might flake.
I never said you should get mired in long conversations. Obviously if that's happening there's something wrong with your texting game.

I mean that sending the scheduler text, as it's structured in the 14 texts article, will sometimes cause a girl to not respond if you didn't build a strong enough rapport with her in person, where as a simple ping followed by banter might be more likely to get her attention.
 

Skills

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I never said you should get mired in long conversations. Obviously if that's happening there's something wrong with your texting game.

I mean that sending the scheduler text, as it's structured in the 14 texts article, will sometimes cause a girl to not respond if you didn't build a strong enough rapport with her in person, where as a simple ping followed by banter might be more likely to get her attention.
yes my convos are not long, i used to 5 to 10 years ago have long ass texts, (cause i had a live in so i had logistical issues, so i needed the prospect to keep engage) or cause i enjoyed in the past to brainwashed and set sexual frames via text.... Now a days my texting is very short but still follow the structure..... Same with most of people that follow and twick my texting they are not doing long texting....
 

Kvothe

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After testing different texting styles, the one that works the best for me is to text for logistics with a bit of banter/pings in between the dates, following the recommandations in Hector's book.

Honestly if you just copy paste texts from the "14 ways to text girls" article, it already works much better than everything you could do as a beginner or even an intermediate. Those are exceptionally effective.
can support-Hector's book is amazing
 
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topcat

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I spent a month or so burning all of my leads to the ground experimenting with all three styles. I suggest you and others do so also, as you’ll come out of it with a far better understanding of how and when to text girls to success.

My verdict:

all work and their utility/effectiveness is context specific

EDIT:

but by far, @Skills method is the most reliable, consistent and effective method

video is hit or miss and only serves to get an interested but hesitant girl off the fence or spike interest in a somewhat “yellow” lead. Easy to overdo and cause inflation..you better be able to create intrigue and hold it. Less is more here..

For logistics will lose you a lot of girls that @Skills method would have got you but is the safest method if you don’t know how to text
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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yes my convos are not long, i used to 5 to 10 years ago have long ass texts, (cause i had a live in so i had logistical issues, so i needed the prospect to keep engage) or cause i enjoyed in the past to brainwashed and set sexual frames via text.... Now a days my texting is very short but still follow the structure..... Same with most of people that follow and twick my texting they are not doing long texting....
I'm sure this number varies a lot, but can I ask how many texts does it generally take before you go for the soft close -> hard close?
 

Skills

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I'm sure this number varies a lot, but can I ask how many texts does it generally take before you go for the soft close -> hard close?
It depends but no many 5 to 10....the goal is not the number of texts but were she is at when you are gauging for reactions, the goal is not to get caught on negative compliance... problem it takes a bit longer for some to get it right after a while they start getting a feel and they get it is not hard, but is not also a magic formula is just a high odds formula...
 

Hector Papi Castillo

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I've started experimenting with this approach recently, and while I find it more time-consuming (probably because I'm not very practiced with it yet), it does do a better job of capturing engagement with girls from day game whom I didn't get the chance to establish much rapport in person. The disadvantages are that it's hard to get right, you're competing for attention with countless other guys who are also texting her, and you can't use any of your seduction fundamentals (body language, voice tonality, non-verbals, etc) to your advantage.
Yeah, there is definitely a learning curve and it takes time to get it right. but luckily once you learn it, it's a reproducible skill, especially once you get used to seeing different types of texts from girls.

As for lacking fundamentals, well, yeah, but at the same time, you can develop new fundamentals and translate your real ones into text form ;) I tried to heavily focus on that in the book.

Vocal tonality = tone in text, which is largely comprised of your word choice and syntax

Body language = text length

Facial expressions = emojis/emoticons ;)

Ofc not as reliable as in-person, it's the best you got!
So my question to the community is: what has been your experience with these different styles of texting? Is the answer perhaps that a situational approach is best - minimalist for girls you build a strong floor with in person, while using the compliance-building approach for the girls you didn't have much in-person time with? Also, if you've tried video messages, what has been your experience with it?

Do what works! If something works on a consistent basis, then do that. If business-style (straight to logistics) works for you and the gains you get from trying harder to write perfect texts only gets you minimal gains, then just stick to what works. If you're looking for a more perfect solution, then you'll need to know when to keep it business and when to build rapport (which is probably the hardest skill in texting; knowing WHEN to use what approach). Sometimes building rapport with one girl is a bad idea and you need to close (or ignore then come back). Sometimes going for the close now is bad and you NEED rapport for whatever reason.


That's what i tried to do with my book. Show you what's the right move in any context and how to read contexts (i.e., fundamentals).

Ofc if anyone feels like they learned something new/different after reading my book, I'm open to new ideas if they think something wasn't explained properly ;)

Hector
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Yeah, there is definitely a learning curve and it takes time to get it right. but luckily once you learn it, it's a reproducible skill, especially once you get used to seeing different types of texts from girls.

As for lacking fundamentals, well, yeah, but at the same time, you can develop new fundamentals and translate your real ones into text form ;) I tried to heavily focus on that in the book.

Vocal tonality = tone in text, which is largely comprised of your word choice and syntax

Body language = text length

Facial expressions = emojis/emoticons ;)

Ofc not as reliable as in-person, it's the best you got!


Do what works! If something works on a consistent basis, then do that. If business-style (straight to logistics) works for you and the gains you get from trying harder to write perfect texts only gets you minimal gains, then just stick to what works. If you're looking for a more perfect solution, then you'll need to know when to keep it business and when to build rapport (which is probably the hardest skill in texting; knowing WHEN to use what approach). Sometimes building rapport with one girl is a bad idea and you need to close (or ignore then come back). Sometimes going for the close now is bad and you NEED rapport for whatever reason.


That's what i tried to do with my book. Show you what's the right move in any context and how to read contexts (i.e., fundamentals).

Ofc if anyone feels like they learned something new/different after reading my book, I'm open to new ideas if they think something wasn't explained properly ;)

Hector
Hey awesome to see you back here Hector! I actually posted this thread after asking you that question on your livestream the other day (Mack).

Your book is great, I overhauled my texting style after reading it and have noticed a real difference in reactions.

So I guess your key takeaways are:
1. Pick a style and stick with it (don't change styles mid-way in a conversation with a girl)
2. Make sure your style is actually congruent with your personality in real life
3. Keep it focused ultimately on getting the girl out on a date

I do have one specific question. For girls who are warm in person and warm over text but non-compliant (say a girl who keeps frustratingly dodging your attempts to schedule or "I'll let you know when I'm free" (translation: you'll never hear from me again)), would you say it's more effective to continue trying to establish more rapport with her (by say texting a few days later and trying for another close) or just send an ultimatum like: "listen, I think you're really cool and want to get to know you better, I'm just not good at this texting thing, so I'd like to meet you for coffee so we can talk face to face. If you're interested, lmk your schedule and we'll do it"?

I guess it's probably situational, but I've met several girls like this and it frustrates the hell out of me, so I'm interested to hear your take.
 
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