Thanks a lot, Instagram....you suck

[HellAtlantic]

So there's this Brazilian chick who works in the same bldg I work at. We engage in light banter. She's into me. I'm into her ass. So anyway I happened to find her on Instagram. I sent her a small message:

"Yo are u that Brazilian chick who watches me jog lol?"

I hit send. It says "message failed".

Ok, I thought, that message might've come off a little too try-hard anyway.

Write another message:

"Yo are u that Brazilian girl who works at my bldg?"

I hit send.

Both messages were then sent to her. Uggggh I look so needy now. I'm tempted to next her just to not have to deal with this. I (unintentionally) send her two fucking messages back to back. How weak does that look?! Lol omg I hate technology. We were better off as cavemen. Just club a girl over her head and drag her to a cave by her hair and bang her. Fucking instagram. Completely ruined my game. If she responds I'm gonna wait a whole 2 days to respond. Stupid app.

 

[trashKENNUT]

HellAtlantic,

Tell me about it. -.- Sometimes messages go crazy.

Zac

 

[Mystique]

We were
better off as cavemen. Just club a
girl over her head and drag her to a
cave by her hair and bang her.

Lmfao

 

[Marty]

So anyway I happened to find her on Instagram.

"Happened to", huh? Never do this. I've done it, in spite of the warnings. We've all done it. It always fails. It's super-stalky.

Read this if you haven't already:

Why Chasing Women Doesn’t Work and Why Persistence Does

Pay particular attention to the mention of "attempting to communicate" and "surveillance" (do a search) in that article.

The right thing to do is to ask upfront, in person, about a potential meeting (you can keep it vague) and have her give you her contacts.

There's also this superb old thread by one MonsieurLabrie, which describes more extreme situations:

Understanding Hot Girls, The Stalker Factor

By the way, women sometimes do it. Your choice whether you allow this... One time I dropped enough info about myself and got an email out of the blue:

FR+: VolleyGirl

(search for "sexy mid-30s lady"... that one actually turned into an FR+ too but I never logged it as I got caught up in a relationship soon after)

 

[HellAtlantic]

Guess I gotta next. She was a 6 in the face with a 7.5 ass.

She responded with "yup lol"

So I responded with "nice. Next time u wear ur white skirt let me know"

No response. Fuck it then. I'm only interested in funny and sexy banter and vibes. When we talk face to face it's normally in an elevator and she always has a friend around, so I wanted to contrast that light talk with something a tiny bit more interesting (for me). She didn't take the bait. Odd cuz she started talking to me. She first started smiling at me and that progressed to light banter (she has a *very* friendly and sociable personality). She mentioned she's seen me jogging outside the bldg and normally has something to say that involves me working out. Thought she showed ample interest. I thought that my comment about wanting her to let me know next time she wore her white skirt (it's a very tight white skirt that shows just how Brazilian she is, yummy) was an indirect but obvious way of me reciprocating interest. Kinda weird to get no response, I figured her next reply would've been "why?" and I would've just responded with "no reason" [and inserted the peach emoji which is universal symbol for a girl's nice ass and a emoji].

Oh well. Next time we bump into each other if she seems happy to see me I'll make a comment about my last message, I'm not gonna hide from it, and then take it from there. So it's not a hard next, more like a soft next. You can only hard next someone you can actually never see again. But still, no response was a very weird reaction. Thought she would've been delighted I showed this tiny bit of interest. You can never tell with girls.

 

[Chase]

HA-

It's a medium problem.

When you can flirt with / ask a girl out in person, and opt for doing it over the phone instead, you lose a ton of points in her book because it makes you look scared (you're retreating to a lower context medium, which shields you from some of the pain of a potential rejection, while giving her a less exciting encounter with less ability to gauge your confidence).

e.g., you see a girl each day and have her phone number, but instead of ask her out in person you call her up one day and ask her out that way. Makes you seem a little cowardly.

Likewise if you can flirt with / ask a girl out over a phone call and opt to do this via text or IM instead. If you've never talked to her on the phone you're fine, but if you chat with her on the phone regularly you've got to use that medium, since it's higher context (if you have the opportunity to do this stuff in person though, you've got to primarily focus on doing it then and not over the phone).

In this case, it was a girl who knows you can flirt with / ask her out in person (even if she always has a friend around... you're still not off the hook for this rule), and instead you used social media. The basic order of confidence is:

• Real life -> most confident
• Phone call -> 2nd most confident
• Text/instant message -> 3rd most confident
• Social media -> dead last

As 'confidence' is one of the ultimate things women are searching for, anything you do that makes you seem unconfident (even if you're not unconfident, but it just appears that way) makes for a major loss in your value to a girl, so it ends up being pretty common to see stuff like this (where she seems into you in person, but is cold over social media).

If you want an alternate example, just imagine this girl pinged you on Instagram first and asked you the same thing ("Hey, aren't you the guy from the elevator I was talking to?"). Your thoughts would probably be something like, "Oh man, this girl is SO desperate for me, haha!" Works both ways.

The exception, of course, is if you won't see her again and there simply wasn't a chance for you to make something happen in person. Then it can still work. Not so if she knows you'll see her again though - just looks like you're avoiding doing it in real life. You may not be, but 99% of the time when guys contact her this way that's what it is, so you get lumped in with the rest of them when you do this.

Chase

 

[HellAtlantic]

Fuck that makes complete sense.