The 3 "I have a boyfriend" scenarios

[Skills]

1.- She really has a boyfriend and will not cheat.- This is a girl that has a boyfriend and is really happy and invested with the boyfriend, she is not really going to cheat on him ever or will not cheat (at least in this stage of a relationship, some women can cheat at final stages of a bad relationship, some no matter what will never ever cheat).- I know is hard to believe but there are women than won't cheat ever...With this girl you can be some sort of cool acquaintance/friend and if she eventually gets attracted, she may leave the boyfriend and that is when you can jump in...So is a long game of being the cool alpha orbiter...

2.- She has a boyfriend but will cheat.- This girl will cheat in scenarios such as boyfriend is a cheater, boyfriend is in a one sides open relationship (he can cheat but she can't eventually she will get sick of this), notice that i left out in an open relationship cause in that case she will let you know she is, traveling (since i am traveling does not count, good example Vegas), revenge fuck, she is pissed at boyfriend, final stages of the relationship, almost over, boyfriend long distance, military or jail, boyfriend unattractive and totally betazized, she is ok with cheating. (some girls have no problem cheating for _____ fill in the blank reason)

^ in this case she may announce that she has a boyfriend, but will bring up problems with him, or say she has a boyfriend and body language, subcommunications and actions will betray her... she in this case will announce she has a boyfriend as take off the responsability or wrong doing on to you, chick logic "i told him i had a boyfriend".... So in this case is were all the little pick up boyfriend destroyers work, i personally use only 2: "awesome" and act really exited, just friends, and i cont. with the seduction, or i say "he can cook us breakfast in the morning" and cont. with seduction, but then i subcommunicate verbally that:

- i am not clinger and stalker.
- i don't judge
- i am safe
- i don't want to replace or for her to leave her boyfriend.
- i am discreent/secret society/lover/seducer.
- that i will not judge her as slut or whore..


3.- She is not interested.- The dude is not attractive enough (bad fundamentals) and/or went too uncalibrated or made some type of mistake in the game execution in which he went for the number without showing enough value, or he is not her type, or she is actually at all not interested and want to get rid of him in a nice way....

99% of forum questions or post of the all women have boyfriends in the forum are actually #3. P.s. Same concept applies to married women to some extend...

 

[Skjöldr]

Good post i agree, however i believe that vast majority of the boyfriend rejections are actually #1 and not #3 (maybe a mix of she likes her boyfriend somewhat and would be open to drop him for something better, but the bar is set high and you didn't make it). Maybe it's because i'm a daygamer so the proportion of taken girls is way higher less than half of girls are single and for the hot/pretty ones it's less than that.

 

[DarkKnight]

I too relate with @Phoenix because I am a daygamer as well.. probably biased by the venues we frequent.

Funny thing is a lot of times you can also sense... where the boyfriend objection is coming from. Which one of the three.

 

[Derek da man]

In general I agree with @Skills . Although with group 1 it's still worth continuing the interaction as she can usually provide really good social proofing and will introduce to fiends - but it's a longer game.

My perspective is much more from social parnter dancing circle (salsa, ceroc, etc) where you get a lot of girls who come to dance and enjoy their night out. At a guess I would say 30% are truly single, 50% will say they have a boyfriend/FWB/etc either as a test or if they have they are still open to better/other offers that interest them. Only 20% are a definitely "not available" for seduction although they will still happily dance with you. In the social dance environment I think most rejections are due to #3 and not #1. If they had a solid permanent boyfriend they are much less likely to be out partner dancing.

Just offering a different perspective , not disagreeing with @Phoenix or @DarkKnight perspective in other environments.

Funny thing is a lot of times you can also sense... where the boyfriend objection is coming from. Which one of the three.

Body language and verbal intimation usually give it away very quickly - possibly because they want you to communicate that though.

 

[Skjöldr]

it can be hard to differentiate between sexual unavailability and disinterest in you, imo

 

[DarkKnight]

it can be hard to differentiate between sexual unavailability and disinterest in you, imo

I can sense whether they feel flattered or become awkward/uncomfortable

 

[ulrich]

I can sense whether they feel flattered or become awkward/uncomfortable

^ This

 

[Skjöldr]

I can sense whether they feel flattered or become awkward/uncomfortable

Yes i know what you mean, some girls who are happily married/taken and who are nice people and are flattered and give you praise or a polite let down, what i mean is, some girls who are single but for whatever reason sexually unavailable is like talking to a wall.

 

[Conquistador]

Although with group 1 it's still worth continuing the interaction as she can usually provide really good social proofing and will introduce to fiends - but it's a longer game.

^^

 

[Zoro]

There is a fourth.

She says she has a boyfriend, but does not, and is interested.

Had this happen to me only once so far.

After I told her I am new to the area and want to meet people, she said she had a boyfriend. I told her I didn’t care, since I wanted friends that he could come too.

But I continued talking with her and setting up the date as if it were a date, because I even though I was honest about meeting both of them, I’d rather have a date with just her.

She agreed and then on that date, she confessed to not having a boyfriend. The date went very well. If I had not had to leave that city right after, we would have had a lot of fun together.

Now maybe she really did have a boyfriend? I actually don’t think so. I asked her why she said had one, and I don’t remember her response.

I think it was a shit test, and I passed it by not being phased at all, acknowledging it in a low effort way, and then proceeding like nothing happened.

 

[Skills]

There is a fourth.

She says she has a boyfriend, but does not, and is interested.

Had this happen to me only once so far.

After I told her I am new to the area and want to meet people, she said she had a boyfriend. I told her I didn’t care, since I wanted friends that he could come too.

But I continued talking with her and setting up the date as if it were a date, because I even though I was honest about meeting both of them, I’d rather have a date with just her.

She agreed and then on that date, she confessed to not having a boyfriend. The date went very well. If I had not had to leave that city right after, we would have had a lot of fun together.

Now maybe she really did have a boyfriend? I actually don’t think so. I asked her why she said had one, and I don’t remember her response.

I think it was a shit test, and I passed it by not being phased at all, acknowledging it in a low effort way, and then proceeding like nothing happened.

good point, but is the same as #2 in other words, the scenario 2 will handle this.... But yeah this exist but scenario #2 covers this...

^ in this case she may announce that she has a boyfriend, but will bring up problems with him, or say she has a boyfriend and body language, subcommunications and actions will betray her

 

[Kingkong]

What do you think about this one?
Her : I have a boyfriend
Me: do you have room for friends ?

 

[Skills]

What do you think about this one?
Her : I have a boyfriend
Me: do you have room for friends ?

This can work for scenario 1 for scenario 2 subpar...

 

[bkw]

I literally was trying to get a girl out once, and she said via text, "I have a boyfriend". I replied, "I hope he doesn't mind", or something along those lines, and she then accepted the date and we banged. I did not expect that response.

 

[Skills]

I literally was trying to get a girl out once, and she said via text, "I have a boyfriend". I replied, "I hope he doesn't mind", or something along those lines, and she then accepted the date and we banged. I did not expect that response.

hahahaha! loved it, she is scenario 2, i use that one a lot in the dance floor actually when he is present..

 

[Skills]

again guys, with scnario 2 does not matter what you say much, unless you are unfaced and cont. the interaction.... there are 100s of i have a boyfriend rebuttles we used to have literally a 100 plus answers in a post in mpua forum will see if i can link here.... some i remember:

"I have a gold fish."

"Huh?"

"I thought we were talking about things that don't matter"

or

Oh yeah... My last girlfriend used to have one of those

or

"And I have a math test tomorrow." "What does that have to do with anything?" "Oh I thought we were saying things we could cheat on."

or these:

• “How long have you had that problem?”
• “What’s a boyfriend?”
• “Cool, I like the fact that someone’s looking after you when I’m not around.”
• “Nice, he can make us breakfast in bed.”

^ or keep it simple awesome, and continue with the interaction, does not matter with scenario 2 as long as you acknowledge are unfaced and cont. like nothing happen it should be treated as a shit test on 2...

 

[bkw]

hahahaha! loved it, she is scenario 2, i use that one a lot in the dance floor actually when he is present..

Yeah, I was at a point where I was burning the bridges of all "possibly-dead" leads by just throwing out hail marys if I felt the girls were about to ghost/flake, and this is when started to notice these things. This was years ago, so I'm not sure if I said it exactly like this, but this one girl seemed flakey trying to meet for a 1st date and seemed like she was going to ghost, so I think I said something like "Well, how about just sex then?", or something like that I can't really remember. This usually didn't work, but I have had a couple girls bite and it was on. This showed me that some girls were just trying to get laid in general and probably just didn't want to go through the whole date thing. One of the girls that bite on it, a Russian girl, literally as we got inside my apartment and sat on the couch she's like "is this where you want to have sex"? I was like, "damn, this girl doesn't even want to get warmed up" lol.

This notion girls don't want sex is a weird notion that lingers in our society for some people, and these experiences really destroy that, which is a good thing! Women are fucking human, after all! It has a weird effect in that it makes you respect women more in the long-run because they are simply human like all of us, and you don't hold this "princess-angel" complex over them, which is unfair, and it messes with your mind in bad ways, and women can smell it on you

Sorry, not trying to hijack the thread. Just wanted to share. Thanks for the insights here @Skills

 

[Skills]

Yeah, I was at a point where I was burning the bridges of all "possibly-dead" leads by just throwing out hail marys if I felt the girls were about to ghost/flake, and this is when started to notice these things. This was years ago, so I'm not sure if I said it exactly like this, but this one girl seemed flakey trying to meet for a 1st date and seemed like she was going to ghost, so I think I said something like "Well, how about just sex then?", or something like that I can't really remember. This usually didn't work, but I have had a couple girls bite and it was on. This showed me that some girls were just trying to get laid in general and probably just didn't want to go through the whole date thing. One of the girls that bite on it, a Russian girl, literally as we got inside my apartment and sat on the couch she's like "is this where you want to have sex"? I was like, "damn, this girl doesn't even want to get warmed up" lol.

This notion girls don't want sex is a weird notion that lingers in our society for some people, and these experiences really destroy that, which is a good thing! Women are fucking human, after all! It has a weird effect in that it makes you respect women more in the long-run because they are simply human like all of us, and you don't hold this "princess-angel" complex over them, which is unfair, and it messes with your mind in bad ways, and women can smell it on you

uhmmm yeah but again, some of your actions were subopitmal, though again a lot of them that you laid were in the 2 camp, like saying "well how about sex then" not going to work with the majority of women, but again with number 2 does not matter, other than pass shit test and cont interaction... sexual or not with 1 and 3 scenario no likely to work... sexual or not...