FR the adventures of sunflowergirl04

[Double_O_69]

Hey guys (and gals), pretty new to this forum, glad to have such a warm welcome from all the seasoned seducers on here. I've recently been interested in interpersonal relationships/gender relations and found this forum, was researching the art of seduction in particular, it's such a topic that intrigues me. Most of my life, I've spent focused on academics, sports, etc so by the time I thought about seduction/social networking/relationships, I feel like I'm a bit behind so reading such material has helped me learn A LOT. I've read and watched everything from extreme red pill to radical feminism, have concluded that both are trash as they are unempathetic, dehumanizing towards the opposite sex, and don't take in account the nuances of human behavior. I believe most people on this forum share this viewpoint, and I've found this place to be welcoming and encouraging self-improvement for both genders. Most importantly there are more field reports/actual action taking place rather than theories/circlejerking like other seduction spaces which is a nice change.

There is another bi girl on here, @girlchasing and she's young as well, so keep in mind we might have different perspectives than some of you guys, we appreciate that you respect us to contribute to this place. I don't know about her, but I have known I was into women since very early on, unfortunately I do not see myself entering a LTR with one because of homophobic relatives, but I think I will overcome that barrier in time. Interacting with guys I don't really see myself seducing them because they tend to initiate, but reading all this stuff has improved my social awareness and I just think I need to work on socializing with guys and having a few as friends, for girls it's a different story, keep in mind I have pretty much no experience with this so I'm going in headfirst in real life with my only "experience" is reading forums lol.

But enough rambling, onto the field report. I'll share the screenshots of our convo on the private group chat (our txt messages, since snap notifies if you screenshotted the page) We met at work; I'd just finished my shift. I work at the local Publix, just bagging food, pretty boring job, I'm graduating high school in a few months so it's just after school a couple hours to kill some time and more $$ to pay for tuition. I clocked out and took off my work apron, I was just looking around the store to buy protein drinks, chicken, healthy foods, it was Sunday night and I usually do my school lunch shopping which I pack myself the night before the beginning of the week. The outfit which I took a photo of later on was a teal 'sunflower' dress (matches my name, lol) that I've gotten a lot of compliments on. My boss gave me shit before because I wore my work apron on top of outfits instead of the regular old Publix green shirt that I was supposed to wear, usually because I forget to wash the green shirt and put it in the laundry but this was one of the few times I slipped up, lol.

Anyways, was just checking out the aisles for anything I missed, did a detour route around the bread/crackers area, and almost ran into this literal SMOKESHOW. She has a public vsco/social media account, you can see for yourselves, I am not exaggerating when I say she is a fucking supermodel. Tall as hell, long tanned legs, gorgeous hair, I could go on and on about her. I found out later she was Colombian and plays soccer for UVA. Literally my dream girl. Absolute stunner.
Edit: ok, I've deleted her vsco on the public forum as I never told her I would share her social media and this is a violation of her privacy, however, I did share her vsco (basically a social media platform to upload images but it doesn't have likes like ig does) in the priv group chat, and all the guys unanimously agreed that she's freaking gorgeous. You'll just have to take our word for it


I was kinda speechless for a few moments because the customers at my store tend to be older people or children, she appeared to be my age (found out later she was 23 so 5 years older) and a literal dime. Around attractive girls, my legs become jelly, I say the most random shit, and I ALWAYS involuntarily blush, which I fucking hate, hopefully I can learn how to overcome this lol. I don't really remember the beginning of our convo since it was kinda hazy, I think I asked her something stupid like was she looking to purchase crackers and if I could help her as I just clocked out of work, I didn't have my apron on. she asked me which ones I recommended, I forgot what I said because I was just looking up at her, and she's a tall girl, I put her around the 6'0-6'1 mark. I'm fairly tall myself at 5'7/5'7.5 so it's pretty exciting to see a girl taller than me in the wild since I live in a heavily concentrated asian/latin area where everyone is a midget, I usually tower over my petite friends and my asian relatives from my mom's side of the family.

We talked and I was saying the most random things, and I was blushing so hard. However- and this is really important to mention- I kept my frame. I was dying on the inside but outwards projected some semblance of confidence, what really helped was that I thought to myself "pretend this girl is your older sister. Someone you know casually, not some supermodel at the grocery store." I asked her how if she was around this area, we talked for a solid 5-10 mins, got to know a bit about her, when she found out I was still in high school she asked me about which college I was planning to go to in the future. I then asked her what college and this was great because I'm familiar with that school that she goes to (have deleted the name of the institution on my FR, as I'm worried this will incriminate her privacy as well). This is where I may have messed up, I told her "I might transfer there in the future if I can meet girls like you." It was so out of character because I'm not bold and I have practically zero experience with seducing girls because of my militant helicopter parents, I have no 'real life' experience, but she ended up smiling and she gave me her social media info at the end.

We have been talking for the past week, her snap score is pretty high, so she probably talks to a lot of people and is in a social circle, her personality to me came off as super cool and casual and confident, she gives me very cool girl vibes. I have always been more introverted and shyer and into academics so never interacted with the 'cool' people of my high school, but since I had glowup last year physically, grew into my body and read about confidence and frame, things have improved dramatically. However, my mom still berates me and compares my thighs (5'7 130ish lbs) to that of my 15 yr old brother whose 6'3 and 125 lbs, she is one toxic bitch and I can't wait to limit our communication after I graduate. Unfortunately, east Asian culture pressures women to be 50 kg no matter the height, I firmly believe my severe eating disorder which I overcame at least partially six months ago is one of the main reasons I lag behind socially as well which I'm trying to make up for, all that time wasted thinking about food 24/7 and thinking that guys like skeletons. Ironically now in my recovered body I get more attention than I did when I was a stick, yet my mom still thinks I'm sloppy and calls me "curvy" which is basically an insult in our culture. I was so insecure calling me that I literally posted photos from when I was like 14 on a couple other places and asked them to rate my apperance to see if they really prefered skinny girls and confirmed what I thought, so I just wanna to tell my mom to fuck off because she has no idea what men really want. She's still stuck into thinking that men prefer women with bodies like little girls and she keeps triggering me with her stupid comments. Anywaysssss

Getting off topic here, anyways this girl is one of the coolest girls, she comes off as a bit intimidating though, maybe because of her height or her attitude, either way it's extremely exciting for me. I posted a private story on snapchat in a bikini, and swiped up on my story and said "hey ur the girl from publix right" after that we talked for a bit and video called on there, I played it cool and confident, asked her if she was down to call. She's in Tampa for two weeks taking a break from her soccer off season and she said it's great to meet new friends around this area. However, I asked her for some advice about college and stuff and I'm afraid I'm coming off like an inexperienced naive girl, I have asked my friends for feedback and I'm worried she sees me as a clingy little sister or something as i respond to her snapchats right away, in her tiktok bio it shows the pride flag and she showed herself attending multiple pride events on instagram. I know that she's bi as well as I scrolled through her TikTok and she shows herself flirting around with her friends and made a video about making out with her best friends she made a video of her snap friends and who she would kiss if she was black out drunk and there was a tiktok sound voice over "all of them sober." she comemnted with scissoring emojis and then a question mark on one of her comments on TikTok, I believe she's flirted around with me a bit asking what I've done before and my rice purity score to which I truthfully admitted I never did anything with a girl. The thing is I'm not sure if she's bi for like attention or if she's genuinely into girls like I am, but I read a study that 99 percent of girls are fluid so it gives me hope that I can seduce more girls in the future. I snapchatted her in the gym with the caption "glute pump lol" and she commented heart eye emojis which is a good sign and now she's asking me how much I work out a week.

This is coming more off as an advice thread than a field report lol, but anyways, considering we're talking and I'm talking to a literal model and we're setting up plans to meet next week at the beach to hang out, I initiated by saying that this weekend would be a great time to go to there as the weather is heating up here in Florida, and she wrote back "ofc this weekend sounds great when are you free girl." She said that she could bring some of her friends over to come chill and smoke, due to my sheltered upbringing tho I feel like I overcompensated and tried to give her the vibe that I was a "cool" 18 yr old who went to a lot of places and had a lot of friends and knew my way around the area. I don't know if it worked or not especially since I asked her a lot of advice at first but she kind of has caught on to this new vibe, so I have to keep it this way. The thing about her vibe is that she seems really picky about the type of people she talks to, she gives off this sorta arrogant vibe like she knows she's hot which is really fucking hot to me, she also posts snapchat stories about her with a bunch of equally hot friends in the area so she's well socially calibrated and she "knows people." Half the time she snaps me she looks like she's on something or drinking with friends and she mentioned doing coke, she plays a sport (specifics can't go into, just privacy reasons), I don't know if she's a d division athlete or plays just for fun but she sent me videos of her playing which were really nice, and she always is doing something socially with friends in her spare time.


She's always with a group of girls drunk and posting it online. I'm on the school tennis team and I kinda lied and told her I like (her sport) when I actually hate it lol, she asked me what I do in my free time, well other than studying all the time, going to the gym, working, doing seasonal sports, and going on the internet to read stuff (which is really lame behavior) I told her I hung out with some of my friends. Ugh, I need to become more social in college lol. But yeah, getting off the internet is probably gonna help my social skills tremendously, literally half the time I feel like I'm on websites and not living in reality, sometimes the online spheres and reading extreme points of view makes me feel irritated and disillusioned.

So yeah, entry 1 of sunflowagoil hope to keep updating you guys with this and see where it goes. I recently got out of a literal one week relationship with a 29 yr old dude, guy from church, I kinda got weird vibes from him and we didn't sleep together or anything so I'm still a virgin, he just asked me out and I said yeah but it was a week and I ghosted him because he kept asking me where I was and I told him school and he just kept asking, it felt off so I called it off, so now I'm free to talk to other people.

Maya is pretty fucking hot, no joke lol. Yea I heard actresses do coke like a motherlover, but varsity team? I believe it lolll. But yea I'm glad you approached at the supermarts, great place to PU.

Yea she so wants to bang you haha. Yea 10s are usually nicer than 7s, and you being a girl probably makes it easier for you social frame wise. As you can see like no ASD at all. For a guy, this would go different in a lot of ways hahaha. We gotta come in like a motherfuckin secret agent who is normal loooooooool. And even then we strike out, but girls can strike out too.

As much as I adore curvy. That shizz can be rare on a good looking face. As fat tend to absorb a face haha. And not only that, can be unhealthy. I mean I'd push it on a LTR to be a bastard haha, but I don't want to ruin a girl. Plus skinny is amazing too. And most comments on tiktoks are usually geared toward skinny girls. But don't have to be anorexic either lol. Weight is changeable, so that's good lol.

Good yob, youoh lol.

Also, because I'm having so much trouble quoting in this forum lollll. I'll just put that the asian mom thing is so common. They want their girls to look perfect, I would see this from my Russian ex. Ahe would always say, my mom has never called me beautiful. I would have disowned that mother in an instant. Eating a grain of rice, and getting yelled at is fucking over the top. Thats just wrong haha. But if it was more something like, just skip one little meal every other day so you can be pretty, cuz I care about you, then okay thay advice would be perfect. Not going crazy because of one flaw. Lol.

 

[sunnygirl]

We are meeting up this weekend, had to reschedule yesterday (President's Day) due to an unexpected event, my fam dragged me to run a 5k and I was exhausted, luckily it worked out because she said that she understood and she could take her little sister out for the day. If things do escalate and we end up getting intimate, I have prepared enough by reading the escalation steps and honestly just...trusting my intuition/gut. Now I am a bit more confident she is a dominant type so I will take @Lofty's great advice and I feel like she is going to love this! I kinda think that even in female relationships there should be at least a little form of polarization to spice things up if anything, and she comes off as dominant/protective, in her tiktok's she makes joking about being the "Amazon friend," making everyone around her look smaller, and being the mom of the group. God, I'm so excited lol. I have a lot of nerves even thinking about this weekend because she is just incredibly gorgeous, she has a lot of control over me that way. Hopefully by Saturday night I'll let you guys know how things have progressed and if we have escalated.

Dominance/submission (also considering how you’ve said you’re excited by being submissive, and how she gives off a dominant vibe that excites you, etc)

Ex: “Hey… I feel like I can really trust you with this… like you know about dominance, submission, and BDSM and stuff right? Yeah… well, honestly it’s something that my friends don’t talk about but… do you find it kinda exiting too? It’s like I wonder what it would feel like to fully dedicate myself to pleasuring another woman the best I possibly can… to be her good little obedient submissive girl and do whatever she says so we both could both feel sooooo goooood… like I wonder what it would feel like to look up at her while I’m pleasuring her, gently licking my tongue all over her body… gently licking and kissing wherever she tells me too, all the way from her neck to her nipples to her pussy… and looking up and seeing her eyes roll back while she tells me “good girl”… do you like that kind of stuff? Or maybe even having a bad bitch do that for me too… or doing it for each other…”

 

[sunnygirl]

Maya is pretty fucking hot, no joke lol. Yea I heard actresses do coke like a motherlover, but varsity team? I believe it lolll. But yea I'm glad you approached at the supermarts, great place to PU.

Bro yea she's literally a stunner, a supermodel. Like dayum mama I want you to completely dominate and break me amazon lady haha kidding but not really. Yeah, lots of experimentation with drugs going on in college, you'd be surprised its the people that you least suspect, athletes, models, and academic achievers (especially overachievers). My friend went to Cornell and she majors in engineering and has a great gpa, on the weekend she needs to take something to get the edge off lol so its not only the bad gals.

Yea she so wants to bang you haha. Yea 10s are usually nicer than 7s, and you being a girl probably makes it easier for you social frame wise. As you can see like no ASD at all. For a guy, this would go different in a lot of ways hahaha. We gotta come in like a motherfuckin secret agent who is normal loooooooool. And even then we strike out, but girls can strike out too.

Loll ty, yea the hottest girls I notice (like top tier) are actually pretty humble than the mid ones that guys like to hype up (you know the type, kinda fat but has big boobs or ass), but she's on some goddess tier shit.

As much as I adore curvy. That shizz can be rare on a good looking face. As fat tend to absorb a face haha. And not only that, can be unhealthy. I mean I'd push it on a LTR to be a bastard haha, but I don't want to ruin a girl. Plus skinny is amazing too. And most comments on tiktoks are usually geared toward skinny girls. But don't have to be anorexic either lol. Weight is changeable, so that's good lol.

Yeah, I noticed the same thing! When I got chubby (in ED recovery, they call that the body overreacting, it will go back to its natural state) my face literally looked like a blob, it was so gross. And me being half asian I do have a smaller frame than other ethnicity girls with the same height so even a little extra weight makes me look heavy, I think my genetics are geared for me to have a slimmer shape.

I'll just put that the asian mom thing is so common. They want their girls to look perfect, I would see this from my Russian ex. Ahe would always say, my mom has never called me beautiful. I would have disowned that mother in an instant. Eating a grain of rice, and getting yelled at is fucking over the top. Thats just wrong haha. But if it was more something like, just skip one little meal every other day so you can be pretty, cuz I care about you, then okay thay advice would be perfect. Not going crazy because of one flaw. Lol.

Yeah, thanks for understanding. Tiger moms can really inflict trauma on their eldest daughters, situation I'm in right now, they want you to be impossibly skinny, impossibly perfect, maybe this is where my issues regarding needing outside validation (because I never got it from parental figures) comes from. You learn something new every day about yourself.

 

[King]

I was kinda speechless for a few moments because the customers at my store tend to be older people or children, she appeared to be my age (found out later she was 23 so 5 years older) and a literal dime. Around attractive girls, my legs become jelly, I say the most random shit, and I ALWAYS involuntarily blush, which I fucking hate, hopefully I can learn how to overcome this lol. I don't really remember the beginning of our convo since it was kinda hazy, I think I asked her something stupid like was she looking to purchase crackers and if I could help her as I just clocked out of work, I didn't have my apron on. she asked me which ones I recommended, I forgot what I said because I was just looking up at her, and she's a tall girl, I put her around the 6'0-6'1 mark. I'm fairly tall myself at 5'7/5'7.5 so it's pretty exciting to see a girl taller than me in the wild since I live in a heavily concentrated asian/latin area where everyone is a midget, I usually tower over my petite friends and my asian relatives from my mom's side of the family.

Sounds like you found your ideal type, a tall dominant hottie
So glad to hear that you're having so much fun with your first encounter!

We talked and I was saying the most random things, and I was blushing so hard. However- and this is really important to mention- I kept my frame. I was dying on the inside but outwards projected some semblance of confidence, what really helped was that I thought to myself "pretend this girl is your older sister. Someone you know casually, not some supermodel at the grocery store." I asked her how if she was around this area, we talked for a solid 5-10 mins, got to know a bit about her, when she found out I was still in high school she asked me about which college I was planning to go to in the future. I then asked her what college and this was great because I'm familiar with that school that she goes to (have deleted the name of the institution on my FR, as I'm worried this will incriminate her privacy as well). This is where I may have messed up, I told her "I might transfer there in the future if I can meet girls like you." It was so out of character because I'm not bold and I have practically zero experience with seducing girls because of my militant helicopter parents, I have no 'real life' experience, but she ended up smiling and she gave me her social media info at the end.

Getting off topic here, anyways this girl is one of the coolest girls, she comes off as a bit intimidating though, maybe because of her height or her attitude, either way it's extremely exciting for me. I posted a private story on snapchat in a bikini, and swiped up on my story and said "hey ur the girl from publix right" after that we talked for a bit and video called on there, I played it cool and confident, asked her if she was down to call. She's in Tampa for two weeks taking a break from her soccer off season and she said it's great to meet new friends around this area. However, I asked her for some advice about college and stuff and I'm afraid I'm coming off like an inexperienced naive girl, I have asked my friends for feedback and I'm worried she sees me as a clingy little sister or something as i respond to her snapchats right away, in her tiktok bio it shows the pride flag and she showed herself attending multiple pride events on instagram. I know that she's bi as well as I scrolled through her TikTok and she shows herself flirting around with her friends and made a video about making out with her best friends she made a video of her snap friends and who she would kiss if she was black out drunk and there was a tiktok sound voice over "all of them sober." she comemnted with scissoring emojis and then a question mark on one of her comments on TikTok, I believe she's flirted around with me a bit asking what I've done before and my rice purity score to which I truthfully admitted I never did anything with a girl. The thing is I'm not sure if she's bi for like attention or if she's genuinely into girls like I am, but I read a study that 99 percent of girls are fluid so it gives me hope that I can seduce more girls in the future. I snapchatted her in the gym with the caption "glute pump lol" and she commented heart eye emojis which is a good sign and now she's asking me how much I work out a week.

This is coming more off as an advice thread than a field report lol, but anyways, considering we're talking and I'm talking to a literal model and we're setting up plans to meet next week at the beach to hang out, I initiated by saying that this weekend would be a great time to go to there as the weather is heating up here in Florida, and she wrote back "ofc this weekend sounds great when are you free girl." She said that she could bring some of her friends over to come chill and smoke, due to my sheltered upbringing tho I feel like I overcompensated and tried to give her the vibe that I was a "cool" 18 yr old who went to a lot of places and had a lot of friends and knew my way around the area. I don't know if it worked or not especially since I asked her a lot of advice at first but she kind of has caught on to this new vibe, so I have to keep it this way. The thing about her vibe is that she seems really picky about the type of people she talks to, she gives off this sorta arrogant vibe like she knows she's hot which is really fucking hot to me, she also posts snapchat stories about her with a bunch of equally hot friends in the area so she's well socially calibrated and she "knows people." Half the time she snaps me she looks like she's on something or drinking with friends and she mentioned doing coke, she plays a sport (specifics can't go into, just privacy reasons), I don't know if she's a d division athlete or plays just for fun but she sent me videos of her playing which were really nice, and she always is doing something socially with friends in her spare time.

She's always with a group of girls drunk and posting it online. I'm on the school tennis team and I kinda lied and told her I like (her sport) when I actually hate it lol, she asked me what I do in my free time, well other than studying all the time, going to the gym, working, doing seasonal sports, and going on the internet to read stuff (which is really lame behavior) I told her I hung out with some of my friends. Ugh, I need to become more social in college lol. But yeah, getting off the internet is probably gonna help my social skills tremendously, literally half the time I feel like I'm on websites and not living in reality, sometimes the online spheres and reading extreme points of view makes me feel irritated and disillusioned.

Similarly to what others have said, something that will help you refine your style is to define what your goals are with this girl and girls/men in general.
1) What's your main goal with this girl? Have a relationship with her? Just have fun and casual sex?
2) What kind of things do you plan to accomplish with this relationship/encounter? Where do you draw your limits? What are acceptable boundaries? What's your ideal type of girl?
Answering these questions will help you stay true to yourself and what you want

And perhaps, stop reading so much of these "extreme points of view" and define life for yourself and live it out for yourself

However, my mom still berates me and compares my thighs (5'7 130ish lbs) to that of my 15 yr old brother whose 6'3 and 125 lbs, she is one toxic bitch and I can't wait to limit our communication after I graduate. Unfortunately, east Asian culture pressures women to be 50 kg no matter the height, I firmly believe my severe eating disorder which I overcame at least partially six months ago is one of the main reasons I lag behind socially as well which I'm trying to make up for, all that time wasted thinking about food 24/7 and thinking that guys like skeletons. Ironically now in my recovered body I get more attention than I did when I was a stick, yet my mom still thinks I'm sloppy and calls me "curvy" which is basically an insult in our culture. I was so insecure calling me that I literally posted photos from when I was like 14 on a couple other places and asked them to rate my apperance to see if they really prefered skinny girls and confirmed what I thought, so I just wanna to tell my mom to fuck off because she has no idea what men really want. She's still stuck into thinking that men prefer women with bodies like little girls and she keeps triggering me with her stupid comments. Anywaysssss

I know the feeling, stay strong in this one, at your age it will be one of the more difficult things you will have to deal with. One day they will come around. Most parents usually want the best for their children, but it would seem they rarely understand what needs to be done. They're either following social/cultural norms or what they learned to be true for past generations. This is a rough one, so hold on tight, it only gets easier when you understand how to truly communicate at their level and this can take a long time, usually when people are 25-30 it starts working out much better ( unless they just had ultra cool parents to begin with, which is rare in itself). Most parents will fight you and drive their ideals into you thinking its useful somehow, but rarely will they try and meet you halfway, to try and come to an understanding with you, which would be a much better approach.

So yeah, entry 1 of sunflowagoil hope to keep updating you guys with this and see where it goes. I recently got out of a literal one week relationship with a 29 yr old dude, guy from church, I kinda got weird vibes from him and we didn't sleep together or anything so I'm still a virgin, he just asked me out and I said yeah but it was a week and I ghosted him because he kept asking me where I was and I told him school and he just kept asking, it felt off so I called it off, so now I'm free to talk to other people.

Congrats on your first field report! You did great and I'm sure you had lots of fun

Btw, you don't need to be in a rush. That's just the noise of society.

When it comes to the life of a human, things take time. And a lot of the time, things come right on time as they were intended to

 

[sunnygirl]

Sounds like you found your ideal type, a tall dominant hottie
So glad to hear that you're having so much fun with your first encounter!

Thank you, I can't wait for the weekend to arrive as it won't come soon enough

Similarly to what others have said, something that will help you refine your style is to define what your goals are with this girl and girls/men in general.
1) What's your main goal with this girl? Have a relationship with her? Just have fun and casual sex?
2) What kind of things do you plan to accomplish with this relationship/encounter? Where do you draw your limits? What are acceptable boundaries? What's your ideal type of girl?

Oh I believe someone asked me very similar questions and I answered (probably in the beginning of this thread), but I'm actually not really sure where I stand on this. Would I want to wake up every morning gazing into the eyes of a stunna and have our relationship develop into a LTR? Hell yea, who wouldn't. But also her being experienced is kind of intimidating, so not quite sure yet.

And perhaps, stop reading so much of these "extreme points of view" and define life for yourself and live it out for yourself

I actually posted something similar to my points of view that I express here on Loveshack here https://www.loveshack.org/forums/topic/614579-age-gap/page/2/?tab=comments#comment-8133670 and they banned me because they thought I was trolling, it just made me even more depressed that no one believes me and shit until I had to confirm my identity, even with you guys. I told most of y'all on the priv chat the incident with the other website which was manosphere and had some pretty messed up viewpoints from some men (not all) and ofc they all still think I'm a feminist troll, like there's no such thing as a fucking happy medium lol. Everything is always nuanced and everyone deserves respect no matter their gender. Anyways enough with that since thinking about those hateful sites always ends up with me being upset, and @King I believe you nailed it on the head with the "adrenaline rush" I experienced from still going on those websites, it is so unhealthy and thank you all for keeping me accountable and encouraging me to share I really appreciate it.

I know the feeling, stay strong in this one, at your age it will be one of the more difficult things you will have to deal with. One day they will come around. Most parents usually want the best for their children, but it would seem they rarely understand what needs to be done. They're either following social/cultural norms or what they learned to be true for past generations. This is a rough one, so hold on tight, it only gets easier when you understand how to truly communicate at their level and this can take a long time, usually when people are 25-30 it starts working out much better ( unless they just had ultra cool parents to begin with, which is rare in itself). Most parents will fight you and drive their ideals into you thinking its useful somehow, but rarely will they try and meet you halfway, to try and come to an understanding with you, which would be a much better approach.



Congrats on your first field report! You did great and I'm sure you had lots of fun

Btw, you don't need to be in a rush. That's just the noise of society.

When it comes to the life of a human, things take time. And a lot of the time, things come right on time as they were intended to

Thank you King and thanks for being so kind to me and helping me out with everything. Appreciate all your insights as usual <3

 

[POB]

When girls ask what you like to do, just say you like to hang around on a forum full of degenerates whose main purpose is to get into women's panties. Tell them that those guys, although clearly sex addicts, care about relationships and social dynamics; thus they study those things to improve their lives and those of people around them.

 

[sunnygirl]

When girls ask what you like to do, just say you like to hang around on a forum full of degenerates whose main purpose is to get into women's panties. Tell them that those guys, although clearly sex addicts, care about relationships and social dynamics; thus they study those things to improve their lives and those of people around them.

that's the situation pretty much. Honestly now that you put it that way I realize how lame it sounds lol

 

[POB]

that's the situation pretty much. Honestly now that you put it that way I realize how lame it sounds lol

Noooo. It sounds awesome! And funny.
Try it out with some girls and you will see...

 

[Conquistador]

Noooo. It sounds awesome! And funny.
Try it out with some girls and you will see...

Have you ever told a girl this personally? I know Style was open about it with his FBs. They didn't care.

 

[sunnygirl]

Have you ever told a girl this personally? I know Style was open about it with his FBs. They didn't care.

told a girl that you're on a pickup artist forum?

 

[Conquistador]

told a girl that you're on a pickup artist forum?

yes, I was asking POB that

 

[POB]

told a girl that you're on a pickup artist forum?

yes, I was asking POB that

Dudes please, I was joking.
OTOH you can def do it, but only if you tell it as a joke yourself.
Edit.. you can even add: "They are teaching me how to pick up girls "

 

[sunnygirl]

This is kinda off topic to my FR but the valedictorian and salutatorian of my school was just announced today and wow, it kind of made me nostalgic because we grew up together all 12 years of being in the same school and I used to be at their level, not distracted by anything else but studying and winning awards/competing. Part of it was the pressures of my parents and part of it was just that competitive streak. Even up to sophomore year I was in the running's for being val/sal since I took a bunch of AP courses on top of IB but unfortunately, I got distracted by everything and I'm ranked #40 now (which is still in the top tenth percentile of my class). I literally can't believe I went from being a straight A student to the situation I'm currently in. It is disheartening to know how much potential I wasted, and this is just further motivation to get back on track in college.

However, the val completely deserves her title, she worked so incredibly hard and even though we are the same level intelligence wise, it was her amazingly insane work ethic/ hard work that surpassed all of us and led to her claiming the title.



I think the reason I was so fulfilled and happy being competitive with school was because it was an internal locus of control. I felt responsible for my own success and felt like I was in the driver's seat in my pathway to success. However, when I started depending on outside source(s) of validation for my looks and character, I felt incredibly unhappy because my emotions were at the mercy of other people's. They had the ability to upset or exhilirate me, compared to when I was working hard on myself. And you guys are right that there is no such thing as binaries (ex: feminine, submissive housewife vs bitchy career woman), it is entirely possible to be feminine and career oriented at the same time!

 

[sunnygirl]

2.25.23 this happened all last night, I wanted to update you guys on everything! It went as good as could be expected, however I think my lack of experience and my nervous vibe fucked some of it up because we didn't go all the way, which was the plan, I just can't stop thinking about her day and night and how gorgeous she is and stuff, like her vibe is just so "cool girl" and casual. I am the thinker, intellectual type and I just keep analyzing what I could've done, I think reading this forum stuff helps but it's weird because in real life situations don't follow the cookie cutter advice offered online.

But anyways, the advice offered by @Lofty I really took into consideration, and I believe some of his suggestions helped progress things further. But I can't deny it, I think she picked up on my anxious aura around her and it kind of put her off a bit, I was literally blushing SO DAMN HARD. I don't know, I think I just overthought the situation instead of going with the vibes and it ended up backfiring. She offered me a ride around 9 pm to her place where there was going to be a couple other people, but I think one of the contributing reasons I was so nervous was that I was being all secretive and stuff and sneaking behind my parents back, they are literal control freaks. I'm already an adult in society's eyes yet they're like "oh if you're not at home and we find out you're at parties we're going to kick you out of the house since you're 18 now." Well so that's that but in the meantime, I'm just saving up enough money from work to get the hell out of there. Also, I know they're bluffing because I snuck out a couple months ago and they just let me sleep outside for the night, so I was prepared for the consequences, they locked me out again when I came back so I just slept on the couch in my patio for the night and I just told them I went out again, how can I tell them the truth about seeing Maya when they're homophobic as hell anyways. I get that they want the best for me, but this is insufferable parenting.

I'm into fashion/style as well, that evening when I went to hang out with Maya the outfit was a camo crop top, spaghetti straps, from Shein (most gen z girls are into this brand and I am too, fast fashion while looking stylish), high waisted light wash jeans that were a bit ripped that my friends gave me compliments on before, platform white converse shoes. Just went for an off duty model street style, basically emulating Maya's vibe which was casual and progressive as well, also I brought a moss green mini tote bag which she called really cute. I'm thinking about getting a double belly button piercing, I have no piercings on me currently (not even earring holes), because it just looks cool. I just want to clean up my style a bit and also upgrade my wardrobe for college, I'm not sure about hair, as of right now it's down to my waist but all the same length so I was thinking about getting like a wolfcut/fringe bangs to spice things up a bit. I have short acrylics (nude pinkish color), but other than that, I like to keep things classy, I just don't like the idea of nose piercings or tattoos, seems a bit trashy, I don't know. The thing with my look right now though is that I've asked my friends for feedback and they're like "you don't look like someone who would be into girls, you look straight" and I think unfortunately due to society that femme looking straight presenting girls are either 1. being told that we are just confused about our sexuality, and 2. we are "acting" bi just for attention and worse, 3. we're "too pretty" to be dating girls and not guys. What the hell does that last statement even mean? So that's the reason I'm thinking of changing my style, maybe keep my long hair but get edgy bangs or colorful highlights, because right now I have a feeling I am going to do 100 percent of the approaching since society doesn't consider my "look" right now to be queer.

The reason why I also can't wait to move away from my parents' house is that I can FINALLY wear whatever the hell I want, like for school and everything I have to put on a hoodie and baggy jeans but I always have a spare change of clothes in my backpack lol, my dad HATES it whenever I show a bit of my stomach/skin/cleavage he'll be like "why are you trying to look sexy and tempt people, who is it for," also my mom will tell me shit like "at your age you should be focusing on school not attracting boys." Ok, like first of all most girls my age are wearing trendy clothes, nobody wants to be wearing some plain gray baggy clothes all day to school, and secondly, not to sound like a feminist but my body my choice lol. I just wish body parts like shoulders and stomachs aren't so sexualized, I just want to wear whatever I want without being accused of wanting attention. To be honest, part of it is pride, I work my ass off in the gym and I still kinda have disordered habits (like chewing my food at least 50 times before swallowing) but not anything extreme anymore, and I just don't see anything wrong with showing off a little skin at times, because I work hard for the shape I have.

Ok, yeah, back on track so Maya was like "you seem kinda nervous" and she offered me a vape pen, she talked about how she drives high all the time, she just had a very casual tone, and she was like telling me to relax and chill, she had a few friends she wanted to introduce when we got to her place. And later on she also commented "wow you seem a bit tense, are you ok?" and after I hit the vape I didn't feel more relaxed or calm I just felt anxious and jittery.


I'm going to journal a bit right now actually so you guys will get the update tommorrow as I want to spend more time offline ATM to further reflect on how things went and how I plan on progressing with her in the future.

As I was saying I was just in a very anxious frame in general which I need to work on strengthening, spending time around her confirmed what I thought of her as dominant and sly but also talking to her she also had a very soft, vulnerable side to her. We talked about a LOT of stuff, and I think after some time, I began to relax and get out of my head more, that was the most important thing. Because I was so nervous my voice came off as squeaky and shaking and this always happens, the only solution is projecting an aura of confidence (even though fake) and after a while, those motions turn into a genuine vibe after a while.

But anyways, I was trying to build our connection together because of similar interests, and I asked her to tell me about her sport which she went into detail about, how much passion she has for it and how she's been playing for nearly her life. I think I did good because I asked her to tell me about herself, people love talking about themselves, also I employed the "name game," I read this in a book called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' if you say inject their name in the conversation, they will warm up to you. Here's an example: "Hey Maya, I know you've been playing (sport) for a while, wow you must really love it to still be playing in college, I'm thinking about continuing sports in college as well. Do you recommend that?"

However, I do think I was a bit passive in this approach and thus in a feminine frame, because again I went into advice asking mode, the problem is that guys find this cute, but maybe girls are turned off by it because it implies that they are the advice holders? I made an observation the other day on how she warmed up to me when I had a more dominant vibe, so this gives me the impression that she's a dom seeking a dom. as SHE was the one who initiated the conversation about sexuality, and she brought up the pics I sent her where she said I looked hot as hell when I sent her photos of my "glute pump" at the gym.

She was being flirtatious and sexual with me but instead of latching on to that topic and escalating, I took the coward's way out, I was extremely turned on and I just wanted to just make a move, but she wasn't making a solid move on me, just flirting around and teasing hints, like Teevster said though in these kinds of situations I should've lead. She responded enthusiastically to my last bold attempt by giving me her socials, I was tempted to say something bold again to escalate to sex, but I was too nervous that she would reject my advances or something. I feel like she was just giving me a knowing look like she knew how bad I wanted her but she wanted me to make the move, girls are so hard to read sometimes lol. Instead, we got on the topic of social justice issues, she's woke, leftist, feminist, the whole works, like a majority of my gen is, I find that if I express some of my more traditional opinions on this kind of stuff I would be completely ostracized, the school I go to is very liberal leaning so its interesting to find a community on the internet where folks might be more conservative. My parents raised me very conservative, I feel like I've been brainwashed on both sides so I just try to stay balanced on the pendulum of political extremism. Anyways I brought up the Anti-Slut defense with her and went this route:
“Isn’t it so unfair that men are celebrated as ‘players’ if they have lots of sex, but women are denounced as ‘sluts’? To me, I believe that no one should be judged or degraded for having sex because sex is natural like the air we breathe, and in fact it’s only fair if women are not subject to such a cruel double standard that society forces on them, and instead they feel totally allowed to feel the kind of pleasure that they dream of when they close their eyes at night, the kind of pleasure they truly deserve as human beings.”

I'm going to update this later, gotta get some work done... also heading out to play tennis, clear my mind some more. It takes a longer time to write about reflections, frames, and analyzing this sort of behavior anyways. I haven't worked out in a couple days and starting to feel a bit angsty lol

Ok wow I just finished working out and I underestimated the endorphins that exercise can release, I feel like a brand-new person, I hadn't worked out in almost a week and after running and lifting I feel so much happier. I'm also able to think more clearly, exercise is honestly like a drug to me, I feel like it's the number one factor to stop being in my head so much, moving my body. At the end of the day, we're all animals lol. Also this made me realize I think part of the reason I was so uptight and anxious was because I hadn't exercised before I saw Maya and I drank like 600 mg caffeine that morning, just so much pent-up energy and nerves, plus the vape she offered didn't help lol. Also to be honest I haven't really pushed myself in my workouts in a long time, so it felt so good to get release, now I'm able to reflect on my FR with more lucid thoughts later on, its literally midnight here rn and I have school at 6 am tmrow... I feel like I've been rambling and we did escalate but not fully, I wrote a lotta it in the chat but which I will expand on this post because my eyes can barely even open at this point. Zzzz

 

[Double_O_69]

Can't even begin to express my gratitude for the amount of effort and thought you put into helping me out. All I can say is that your advice is spot on and will be duly noted. Lofty your insights are absolutely amazing, honestly you could write a book on relationships and it will probably be best seller because of how thorough you delve into. You are one wise guy! And yeah, I feel like I still have a lot of internalized misogyny from reading a bunch of extreme redpill and I feel like I can't think sexually of anyone without feeling immense shame because according to them, a good girl would keep her legs closed and not experiment sexually, she instead would find a guy and settle down into a marriage as a virgin. I used to have a pretty high libido but that's tanked because I just think I don't want to be seen as a cheap hoe or anything and I've read a lot of scathing comments about "hoes, sluts, whores" in the redpill space. I just feel like they hate women who enjoy sexual feelings or something. But yeah, that's something I need to work on. So not sure if I want to initiate right away, but I'm also scared she'll get bored that I'm a prude because like I said she does seem like a bit of a naughty girl lol

Which site was this? Just curious.

 

[sunnygirl]

Which site was this? Just curious.

I'm not mentioning it by its name, I never did anyways on loveshack or even in the priv chats out of respect, anyways I wouldn't really call it completely manosphere/redpill, I don't want to paint the guys on there with one brush. Sure, there were some guys that supported misogynistic sentiments on there but also a lot of good guys who were in LTRs/married and just wanted to help other people out, however that drama is DONE and OVER WITH. For the longest time I wasted so much time trying to convince them I was sincere afterwards but there's some things you can't come back from, and I will own my part, I was coming off as attention seeking and brought up FDS and said some nasty spiteful shit after they were calling me names.

They were actually very nice to me actually to begin with, gave me great advice, it just went sideways because of I commented on like a post about age gaps with negativity, I was just so sick of them saying women over 25 are useless.... lol anyways, what's done is done.
Fighting fire with fire is never a good thing, there's always the Ignore button to mute those you don't want to waste your precious time on

Yea @Double_O_69 to answer your question that was a truly horrible and pathetic woman, she knew the truth about me but threw me under the bus for male validation TWICE, and she blatantly lied on the public forums while simultaneously apologizing in my PMs for lying LOL. She even got exposed on that site by a user for being a fraud and a sugar baby in a marriage, only on that site to get guys' hamster wheels running. Complete poser.

Here I've learned who to trust, takes a while but honestly getting to know people outside the forum is one of the most reliable ways. People can be whoever the hell they want online and bullshit keyboard jockeying, it's a whole other thing to get to know someone offline. At this point I'm convinced s(He) is actually a mentally ill dude. Lol.

Also, friends defending friends on the interweb is never a good idea because it leads to interforum drama and the like, anyways enough of this BS. Some people are just not worth giving attention to, especially on the internet lol.

But moving forward from that let's not talk about that website again and just move on to a more drama free peaceful space, this place is less extremist and more accepting of female viewpoints (generally speaking) which I appreciate

 

[POB]

@sunflowergirl04
You are clearly an introvert who spends too much time in your own head, and ends up all over the place (I'm like that too).
My advice: write everything down and prioritize by order of importance.
- getting regular income
- moving out of your parents house
- studying game
- practicing game
- learning how to get in a social vibe (on command)
etc, etc

Save blocks of time to do each of those tasks, and work hard on them.
Soon you will notice that you'll start to think less and less about things that you can't control (like people's reactions to your behavior).
About your parents, I would def save that conversation for post moving out.

 

[sunnygirl]

Soon you will notice that you'll start to think less and less about things that you can't control (like people's reactions to your behavior).

Thanks, definitely, as I mentioned earlier focusing on self-improvement, working out, and studying helps because it's within my internal locus of control, it's something my future self will thank me for in a few months.

- getting regular income

Do any of you guys on here have recommendation on how to earn passive income? I've dabbled in stocks and have learned online tutorials on crypto, but I don't have spare time to focus on that for hours, I published a book a couple of years ago and generated sales from that but that was years ago, I was scrolling on Tiktok and they always have content creators promoting starting your own online business and generating clients, but for what?

 

[Conquistador]

Save blocks of time to do each of those tasks, and work hard on them.

Somehow, that part never occurred to me lol. I think this tip might help my own efforts to get organized. Thanks!!

I published a book a couple of years ago and generated sales from that but that was years ago,

Wait what?

I was scrolling on Tiktok

Have you considered deleting it?

content creators promoting starting your own online business and generating clients, but for what?

I've heard freelance writing is a decent side hustle. I've always wanted to try it but I get a really good (hour-limited) rate doing my main job and I never seem to find the time.

About moving out...honestly I'd say just wait for college and spend the time productively until then. And as far as your parents being homophobes...if they don't know you're bi, then being female, you have strong plausible deniability as to how you're spending the time.

 

[sunnygirl]

Wait what?

Yeah I self published on Amazon, it was a while back though lol, I'm not really writing anymore though I ought to as it was one of my strongest suits and favorite hobbies to do in my free time, I'd write for like 15 hours straight lol

Have you considered deleting it?

Yeah, I have. Considered, that is.

I've heard freelance writing is a decent side hustle. I've always wanted to try it but I get a really good (hour-limited) rate doing my main job and I never seem to find the time.

I've heard that it can make a really good income, I also read an article the other day about how people are using chat gpt to write articles to post online lol, pretty sure they will get caught eventually though

About moving out...honestly I'd say just wait for college and spend the time productively until then. And as far as your parents being homophobes...if they don't know you're bi, then being female, you have strong plausible deniability as to how you're spending the time.

Thanks, yeah, just doing as everyone has suggested, and they don't know about any of that, I'm not planning on telling them either until I move out, they're just very conservative in general.