The Adventures of Wes

[Mr. Wes]

Thanks for the support guys. That made me feel better.
As soon as 2014 begins I'm going to be waking up before everyone else and going to bed after everyone else.
Basically plowing, plowing, plowing until I have to leave to basic training in May.
@Mr.Rob...dude you better go approach those girls before I drive over there and force you, you didn't co e all this way to be taken out by some lowly newb problem such as approach anxiety. Dude, we should push each other.like I should give you a dollar or something for every date you get...and maybe amp that if you get a lay. Lol

Anyways today,
I tried breathing exercises today around town whenever I started feeling nervous/anxious and it really calmed me down.
I just tried to take my mind off of the over thinking that I normally do and I began to relax. Next step: actually staying calm while I converse with a girl so I don't screw things up by not thinking properly.

Today I ran errands and shiet and then my uncle ended up seeing me tryi g to catch a bus so I rode with him. We went to Walmart and he told me he'll give me 5 dollars if I can get a girl's number. Numbers are easy but it all depends...and I wanted that 5 dollars lol. I saw this cute thin white girl wearing leggings hurrying past to the candy aisle and I decided to walk after her.
As I followed her, a few dudes turned their heads to check her out and kept walking. I smirked and said to one of them: "are you gonna stare or are you gonna do something about it?"
He smirked back at me noticed that I was going in for the kill.
She stopped on the candy aisle and I slowly and casually walked into the aisle, looking at the candy like I was shopping.
I noticed her look at me from the corner of my eye and then she looked back the candy. She was doing really rapid movements so I'm guessing she was in a rush.
I strolled up beside her
"you are the most beautiful girl I've seen all day"
She smiled and quietly said thank you and looked back at the candy.
"are you single?"
"no"
"well, he's a lucky guy"
And I walked away...

As I walked away she rushed past me and went to the checkout with her handfuls of starburst, M&m's, and Skittles.
I didn't even try for that one. I was just hoping to get lucky so I can get $5

Next I approached this lady (also wearing leggings/yoga tights/whatever...2013 is like the year of fit chicks and yoga tights) who just got off the phone.
Time to cheat. Lol
I walked over to her and said: "hey, can you help me out really quick? My uncle is going to give me $5 if I get a girl's number here...can you put a number in my phone while he's looking so it looks like you gave me a number?"
She laughed and said: "I don't know how my husband would feel about that if he walked by and saw me doing that and I have a baby on the way" (she's pregnant but not that fat yet)
"well can't you just tell him what's going on?"
"sure...where's your uncle?"

He just walked down another aisle. Just perfect.

"hold on, wait until he comes back"
We waited for a minute and he was busy shopping and talking on his cell phone so I told her I'll type a number in, show it to him and when we walk past her, she should wave at me.
She said okay and then asked why my uncle was too afraid to get her number himself.
Me: "he already has a girlfriend...he said that he's "teaching" me game so he wants me to do this." (even though I already know game but he says the game that I do is "corny" and sounds like it came from an Internet blog...oh how ironic)

I went back to my uncle and showed him the fake number in my phone and he said: "no,I have to SEE you get it"
And just then we saw this sexy white girl also in yoga tights and a rocking fit body, toned legs. Oh my god.
My uncle was like: "damn, these Florida white girls, GODDAMN" because apparently the white girls from where he's from are not good looking at all.
I walked over to her and whispered the same thing that I did to the other woman. She started smiling and said the same thing about why can't my uncle just get her number himself and I'm like: No, it's for me!
So she proceeded to loudly tell me some numbers as I punched them into my phone and my uncle walked past all amazed and what not.
Then she told me to put the name Rachel, which might actually be her name...hell, the number might actually be real...she didn't seem like she was coming up with a fake number.
Then I told her to hug me and she hugged me. Then she said: "you should have no problems getting numbers on your own, you're cute"

OH SCHNAAAP! Compliment?! SHIIIIEEETTT! Thank you. Lol

I walked back to him and he was in disbelief. He was like: let me see it, you didn't really get it, you must must be tricking me.
And I just played it off like: whatever, believe me if you want, you just saw for yourself.
Then he's like: what'd you say?
And I came up with some genuine sounding conversation that sounds a lot like how my normal pickups go.
He reached in his wallet and gave me 5 dollars. LOL
But, actually, this whole thing showed me something.
See, I was never one to FULLY have the mindset of "girls are cute and silly" because every once in awhile I see a girl and she is just sooo good looking that she's not even human in my mind. I immediately have these girls on a pedestal in my mind...or when I talk to them I'm doing frames where I'm setting them as the prize.
this girl was like that.
But when I was asking her to help me out and she was going along with it, smiling and laughing and stuff, I saw her actual personality for that short minute instead of seeing the side of her putting up resistance to yet another guy trying to seduce her.
Just like Chase has said...this girl was silly and cute.
When women don't feel like you're trying to "get" something from them, you can actually see who they are instead of running into their wall of auto-pilot rejecting.

Made me realize that if I see a sexy woman, I should approach not with the intention to get something from her but to see who she is and share that moment with her if we connect and we just bounce good feelings off of one another.

And lastly, my uncle attempt at game.

We were walking into a pawn shop and he held the door open for a lady align behind us who was dressed in office clothes. Sexy office clothes.
All three of us walked to the front register and my uncle let her walk ahead of us and checked her out.
He was like: there you go, Wes, that's all yours.
I just shook my head like: whatever.
Then he said to her: how are you?
She had this expression on her face that was clearly frustration from a long day at work. She seemed okay with my uncle asking how she was doing.
Her: (starts complaining about her long day at work)
Uncle: well, at least you have someone to give you a foot massage when you get home. (this is how he finds out if a woman is single)
She just smirked and then went back to her concerned/frustrated/exhausted facial expression.
Silence.
Then she reopened him.
Her: what about you? How are you?
Uncle: ha! I'm good. So far youre the nicest person in (town) I've seen.
Her: I take it you're from up north?
Uncle: Mhm..Tennessee.
Then she asked him why he was here, what he does for a living and they talked about work. Then another silence. Then he reopened saying: let me get your number.
She was like: I'm sorry, I'm faithful.
Uncle: aww...
Then he proceeded to talk about how she can file his taxes sometime or something... Because that's what she does.
Then she asked him questions about what problems he was having with them and a bunch of language into that world that I don't fully understand.
Then it was her turn in line. She walked to the desk and conversation ended.
Then we walked to another opening.
I asked him if he was trying to be friends with her now (because that was definitely that route he was heading)
He said yes and then when we finished up, he handed her his card. She put it in her purse and said thanks.

We went outside and I was like: do you think that she'll really call it?
And he proceeded to tell me: duh! She knew it was on!
And then told me about all his game tricks and why each thing works. Lol
The things he does either puts him in provider roles or friend roles and is also the same thing any guy can think up he tried to.

Anyways, that's all for now.
Peace.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Hey guys, what can I do about my brother and mom tooling me?

Here's what my brother usually does: whenever I'm telling him a story or talking about my thoughts or something, he just quietly stares ahead with this blank expression on his face as if he's annoyed. Then he usually will just change the subject and start talking about his girlfriend or something that he cares about.
We used to be super close but every since I moved out and stayed with my mom (and started evolving) I guess he feels like I changed. Sometimes I'm just sharing the knowledge of GC with him, which is some pretty controversial stuff...and he just seems annoyed that I care so much about improving with girls.
He's a natural at getting girls and he has natural charisma. He also has a bad temper and a natural devil may care attitude.
He definitely has this "hard" exterior to him. A lot of people who judge him before they get to know him say that he's "gangster". But that's just how he carries himself.
Whenever him and my mom are in the same room, my mom takes to being on his side with everything. If I say something to add to the conversation and he ignores me, she does to. If he's like: wtf is wrong with you? She will as well.
Sometimes they treat me like I'm a retard. He's even told his friends that I was born retarded.
Like I said, all it is is that I'm goofy, socially awkward at times, and sometimes corny.
He looks at the way I dress sometimes and disapproves because I don't have "swag" and carry myself in a way that makes people afraid of me.

If he gets angry, I know I can take him in a fight. I've wrestled him down into a lock before whenever he "hulked" out.
But I just don't want to fight and I want to get along again and I want him to stop talking down to me and treating me as if I'm an embarrassment.

 

[Mr.Rob]

That sucks ass your family treats you like that. In one sense you've set yourself up in the past to be treated like so and they're in the habit of doing that now but in another sense that's fucked up your own family won't even respect you for who you are. Also sucks to have Debbie downers when you tell them about your self improvement aspirations. Sorry to hear you don't have any support but not to worry. You'll live and are actually in more control than you think.

First off you need to realize that if you keep company with people (I say people cause I mean anyone that treats you as such including family, friends, etc) that put you down and don't respect you you'll end up putting yourself down and losing respect for yourself. Really bad for your self-esteem amigo.

When I realized what bad affect my friends that tooled me were on my self esteem I cut contact with them. Mind you these were guys that I viewed as brothers and vice versa. We had been through a lot and hung out all the time over the course of 4 years. I gained their respect in certain aspects but was still tooled in others especially in places affecting my success with women.
I cut contact with them and only talk to them when I see them randomly. They respect me more now and I feel free as a bird. I also feel highly esteemed, imagine that!

So yes I hate to say it but I would cut contact and read Chase's article on developing a higher self-esteem if you haven't already.

Over and out amigo

-Rob

 

[Mr. Wes]

Yo thanks Rob.

I never really knew how unhealthy my family was until I started viewing other families. And by then it felt too late to change any habits we had set.
My grandma and dad wonder why I don't talk to them anymore and only come over whenever I "need" something. Making them feel "used".
The problem with my grandma is she is very cynical and sits in front of the news most of the time watching depressing and horrifying stories about people getting killed,robbed, or cheated so she shoots down anything I try to do for myself because "the world is out to get me" and "you can't trust any of them". You absolutely have to do things HER WAY because she's "older" and "wiser" and the BIBLE says "respect your elders". There's not much arguing with that. So I just cut contact with her.
My dad is a different story. He is the result of her control freak ways. He listens to everything she says and it seems like he doesn't see any of her flaws . I can't even have a conversation with him because he either brings everything towards religion or goes all "teacher" mode on me. That's just the way things are and I don't see it going any other way, so I cut contact.
And my dad's wife....lol she's still practically a stranger to me.

You're right about cutting contact. All the more reason why it was a good idea that I joined the navy. 4 years of self improvement and away from unhealthy relationships.
I'll take a look again at the self esteem article.
---------------------------------------------------
Approached a few girls here and there around town yesterday.
Nothing special happened. No immediate hook points....actually none at all.
The conversations were boring and I felt like I was running into a huge wall.
I was VERY in my head and picked up on little sub-text and details afterwards.

A lot of these girls were just immediately testing my strength since I had the guts to talk to them.
Black girls do that a lot. Many guys are intimidated by them because of "hard" exteriors they put up, but they're just constantly testing a man's strength and want to weed out the boys who take their "games" at face value.
Which is what I do. I don't realize until after its ended.
It's really annoying. I hate how I'm not always on guard to see through this. Stuck in my head.
And I don't feel like doing it either. I guess you could say I'm kind of lazy when it comes to overcoming resistance.
If she sets the wall too high, I'm like: oh HELL no. And I won't even try to climb it.

Although I'm getting more comfortable with touch. One of the girls said: "aww" when I told her how beautiful she was and she moved in for a hug and told me:" sorry I have a boyfriend."
I keep doing this thing where I kiss girls on their forehead while they're hugging me....and it's feeling more and more natural.
I feel like I can do whatever I want to their bodies now. Pull her and push her around. Grab her face and kiss her.
I used to be so timid and afraid I'd get in trouble for touching girls.
I want to speed up this process of feeling more comfortable so I'm going to go out and challenge what's "socially acceptable" and come back with what I found.

That all for now.
Peace

 

[Mr. Wes]

Oh crap...I should be happy about this but I'm slightly scared, concerned and on edge.


Religious Gym girl
Okay so a few months back, probably around summer time I was in my neighborhoods gym using wifi....likeim doing right now. And this cute woman walked in and began running on the treadmill.
Back then, I remember being in a bad mood about something. Contemplating life....and so I just opened her with a philosophical opionion question.

I think I asked her: "do you think that some people have life easier than others?"
And then she replied with her opinion while smiling and told me about her faith in Jesus Christ.

"oh great" I thought.
But I didn't let on any discomfort and had a nice little conversation with her that day.
After that I only ever saw her occasionally around the neighborhood and she would smile and wave.

Today, I. Sitting her in the gym using the wifi once again, replying to things, browsing the boards, reading articles and who shows up? It's her.
She's wearing tight leggings , hair in a pony-tail, and a tight spandex sports shirt.
She gets on the treadmill and starts running.
In front of the treadmill is a mirror that takes up the entire wall so she can see me sitting behind her.
I mostly stayed to myself and didn't stare at her nice ass too much. Just quick glimpses.
We had one moment where I caught her looking at me in the mirror and we just smiled at each other.

She finally got off the treadmill and went over to the one and only weight machine in the room. She started exercising and grunting and breathing quite loudly while listening to some loud music with earphones in her ears.
All I could tell was that it was rap. I couldn't hear it quite well over her grunts and heavy breathing.
I was also surprised because the impression I got of her was that she was a goody goody Christian...and from my experience, religious folks complain about rap because of cussing and objectification of women and drugs and whatnot.
(not all but at least the ones that are in your face about their faith)
I was finally able to hear the song and it was "can't hold us" by Macklemore.

I got her attention. She paused her iPod and took out an earbud.
Me: "so you like Macklemore huh?"
Her: smiles "yea"
Me: "I love Macklemore"
Her: "yea?" she puts an earbud back in and goes back to working out.

I just continued my business on my iPad while she worked out. Soon she finished then pulled out an earbud and was about to tell me "have a nice day"
I said: "wait"
She stopped.
"you seem like a cool person...what other music do you like?"
Her: I like country. (then she starts telling me about why and other stuff)
Me: yea? I just started liking country this year. Before, I always had a stereotype of what country was.
Her: yea! Everybody thinks its this twangy hillbilly music.
Me: yea, and then I heard...wait...do you know the show The Walking Dead?
Her: yes.
Me: you know Beth, Hershel's daughter?
Her: yea.
Me: yea, so I heard her singing on there and she had such a beautiful voice and I just so happened to be browsing past a country music video channel one day...and they had some nice music on there.
She smiled.
Her: yea I agree it's so beautiful. (she out of breath still heavy breathing)
She was talking about something and mentioned how exhausted she was.
Me: yea...you seem like you need to *relax* a little bit.
Her: yea, I usually have no problem doing that.
Me: yea? You have somebody at home to help you *unwind* and *relax*?
Her: yes, he's great...I've been dating him for a few months now..he runs this bible study blah blah...(-_- this threw me off...for a minute I thought that she was really religious because I heard her throw in and cuss word earlier. I'm trying to figure this woman out)
Silence for a few seconds....I didn't know how to reply to that.
I also kinda tuned her out when she started going into trying to invite me to the bible study she was talking about.
I counter offered....
Me: "yea, I would like to talk to you some more....we should um...grab coffee sometime." (finally my first time saying this coffee invite line. I don't drink coffee and whenever I ask for dates, I'm not upfront and I say "hang out" and "chill". I realized that I need to stop being afraid and make my intentions clear. )
Her: yea sure! But just letting you know as friends! (okay, she definitely sees it as a chance to either make a friend or witness her faith to me.)
Me: okay then (a little surprised that she agreed but also concerned that she said as friends)
Her: here, you wanna take my number?
Me: yea what is it?
She told me her number and I put in our area's area code. I noticed that there were way to many numbers and I showed it to her. She told me that she doesn't have (town)'s area code and that hers is from a small town down south.
Finished getting her info, hugged her sweaty body and she left.

Now, I SHOULD be happy that I finally manned up and asked a woman on a date instead of hiding it under the words "hang out" and "chill" (friendly frames) but I'm a little worried because IF I go through with it, it's going to be taxing on my brain.
Turning THAT into a lay not something I'm ready for.
1) overcoming friend frames
2) overcoming her frame of trying to witness to me
3) the whole process of seduction.

That's just too much...and I'm really kind of annoyed now. I'm even offended by people like this.
They just look at everyone as another "lost soul" that they have to bring to the light.
Little does she know, I am a Christian but I personally don't believe in being all "in your face" about it to everyone I interact with. I don't understand what some Christians don't understand about that.
Then they'll start preaching to me about how you can't SAY you're a Christian because you have to constantly SHOW that you are one. SAYING you're a Christian isn't enough because true Christians demonstrate Christian behavior. AKA to them as being in your face about their beliefs and what they just heard at church or bible study.

She just ruined my "first asking for a date" virginity. -_-
I have some idea how to handle this but now I feel like I have to handle her with gloves.
That's all for now.

 

[Dern]

Hey Wes,

Just read your journal, and I've got to say, I feel the same as you: wishing I could improve faster.

Its been 5 months since I've started my journal. Since then, I've been cold approaching every week, and although at first I felt loads of improvement, right now, in the moment, I feel like I'm stuck. I can get numbers, but I can't get dates.

I've been giving it a lot of thought, and like already stated, its got a lot to do with fundamentals. I know girls reject me based on my looks because, after my opener, a lot of them will say something like: "thanks," and then walk away.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

^this is what I do. I go to the same places. I say the same things. I follow the same routines. I go through the same emotion highs and lows.

I know exactly what you mean by this, I feel like this all the time. And this needs to change! I mean, if we're not getting the results, then that means we need to approach differently. But the question is, how? I mean, we're following Chase's advice after all, what is there to change?

Looks, vibe, and game.

Have you read Ricardus' success factor?

He mentions that those three are the key to picking up girls.

Vibe:

I don't really have the looks or the vibe. Only on good days will I have the vibe, and that is not what I want. I want to always have the vibe. Like you said, meditating will be key to developing this vibe, and also thinking about positive events that have past, and that will come. Richard wrote an article on getting that so-called vibe and Ricardus' articles talk a lot about this as well.

Looks:

To get this, keep hitting up the gym, and look up fashionbeans, look up Chase's article on facial hair, try out different hairstylists, there's an article on fashionbeans called "the right hairstyle for your face shape." Also, there was a recent article on fundamentals, written by someone I can't remember the name of. The hardest thing to work on personally, is voice. I don't really know how to lower/deepen my voice.

Game:

I'm pretty sure this is what you say, and this is easy if you've been reading Chase's articles. However, I've found that nothing you say matters if you don't have your fundamentals handled. For example, a girl won't be willing to answer your deep diving questions if you are ugly. After all, ask yourself, if an ugly girl was asking you all these deep questions, truly interested in you, would you feel obliged to answer them? For me, I wouldn't. I would think in my head: "I'm never going to sleep with this girl, why even put in the effort to talk to her?"

Conclusion:

What I've realized is that, there's no point in going out solely for the purpose of approaching girls if you're just gonna get rejected based on your looks. At the same time, going out and approaching girls is better than staying home being unproductive. Right now, I'm going out an average of two times a week. Going three or four times would be going hard. However, I think that we both need to work on our fundamentals and meditating (vibe), if we want to have more success. For me, I am really skinny, so walking around talking to girls would just be burning me calories. Instead, what I should be doing is eating food, hitting up the gym, and looking at fashion websites. I know this sounds crazy, and it might be actually crazy for you, but this is what I need to do. You can't completely scrap approaching girls or else you would be like starting over, but work on other aspects of your life that will be beneficial to your love life other than just approaching. Cause think about it, if an ugly girl approached you in an extremely sexy way (pre-opened you, moved elegantly, gave strong eye contact), but her face was ugly, her ass flat, her breasts flat, her stomach fat, would you go to bed with her?

 

[Eternity]

Wes. Fuck the indirect crap with the girls and try direct, just flat out "i don't give a shit" mode with women. Say things like "Hey sexy! how's it going? If she ignores you or blows you out smile to yourself and walk away like she's crazy or something. Don't hug her goodbye or any comfort building conversations which will probably be a waste of your valuable time anyway. Say what you like about her (eyes, smile, and that body of course). If you escalate, go for the hips, get close to her and go for the kiss and ass if she's feeling you. I'm saying this because my dad is short, old, ugly but is constantly getting kino and great reactions from women by going direct and saying what he likes about women. Some stuff here will work for some, but for others another route is better instead. I'm thinking of going this route, because maybe slow gaming is not my style but i will use some of Chase's advice though because some of it is invaluable. Go to Return of Kings website and look for Christian McQueen, i'm going to try his type of game in the future cuz i hate indirect except for work and stores that i go to a lot. Let me know bro!

Cheers,
Eternity

 

[Mr. Wes]

Wes. Fuck the indirect crap with the girls and try direct, just flat out "i don't give a shit" mode with women. Say things like "Hey sexy! how's it going? If she ignores you or blows you out smile to yourself and walk away like she's crazy or something. Don't hug her goodbye or any comfort building conversations which will probably be a waste of your valuable time anyway. Say what you like about her (eyes, smile, and that body of course). If you escalate, go for the hips, get close to her and go for the kiss and ass if she's feeling you. I'm saying this because my dad is short, old, ugly but is constantly getting kino and great reactions from women by going direct and saying what he likes about women. Some stuff here will work for some, but for others another route is better instead. I'm thinking of going this route, because maybe slow gaming is not my style but i will use some of Chase's advice though because some of it is invaluable. Go to Return of Kings website and look for Christian McQueen, i'm going to try his type of game in the future cuz i hate indirect except for work and stores that i go to a lot. Let me know bro!

Cheers,
Eternity

Yo thanks for the insights, Eternity
I usually go direct all the time but I only go indirect when direct doesn't feel right.
I will check it out.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Alright I wasretty tired yesterday so I didn't feel like posting all the things that happened yesterday but I did post one as a field report that happened later on.

It was four hood chicks chasing me
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=4590

Way before that, I had a few interactions and a really good day.
Dec 29, 2013

I somewhat meditated in the morning but didn't finish. I had an allergy attack part-way through so I said screw it and read up on some notes. Whenever Chase answers my questions on the main blog, I write down notes of the gist of what he's saying down into this notebook. Currently I'm trying to master getting into this "social state" that everyone but me seems to be in all the time. I feel like its the "wall" that holds me back from improving faster. Everyone has a "wall" I believe. Zphix has said several times that all he had to do was overcome his approach anxiety and he was a natural with women.

Often times, I've noticed that I'm a natural as well but only when I'm in this "social state". Most of the time I'm introverted and in my head, blocking out the world around me. Only reacting to the world on auto-pilot. I can have half-assed conversations with people and my mind will be somewhere else in a place completely unrelated.
After reading the article: "how to learn empathy"
I discovered that the problem was I was keeping my mind in a very low empathy state and I have to learn to find a balance between high and low empathy. When I master it, then I've truly mastered myself and switching between them would be as easy as flipping a light switch.

I read my notes on how to switch into high empathy and concentrated on it. I began to feel myself leaving my head and occupying the world around me with my mind. I looked at everything from a different lens.
Then I headed out.
Waited at the bus stop outside my apartments and I was going to head to the university. I even brought a condom because I felt really good about today.
As I'm sitting at the bus stop a guy walks by coming out of the apartments. I acknowledge his presence and say: hey how are you?

He continues walking and says hey. Exchanging pleasantries back.
I notice that he has the same "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt" that I have (except I wear mine fitted so it hugs my body) and I say: I have that shirt too, I love that shirt.
Then he stops, says: oh yea?
And then he starts opening up to me about how he was trying to rent an apartment that he saw an ad for for it turns out the ad was a mistake and that apartment wasn't for sale. I empathized.
Normally I'd just say: that sucks. And then stay in my head wondering: "why the hell is this guy telling me all this? I don't care."
But I say instead: aw dude, that sucks.you must've been really excited and then they just killed your vibe.
He went on and started telling me more about himself, where he's from, why he's trying to get an apartment, what he's struggling with right now. It all just came out and I empathized with him. I started to noticed that I was in a conversation with a stranger for longer than usual and started feeling good. "this guy is actually talking to me instead of awkwardly trying to get away"
Eventually my bus came and I told him, have a good day. I had helped him out also by telling him about so e cheap apartment down the road. I felt so good. I was in state.
On the bus I started contemplating how I can STAY in state...because usually when I get like this it only lasts for a while and then it seems to go away. I don't know if I'm right but I came to the conclusion that I need to stop examining everything I'm doing because that's keeping me in my head. Instead stay in the moment, focus my attention outwards.
Every time I examine inwardly, it's as if I'm pumping air into a balloon. I keep pumping and pumping until it pops from too much air. So everytime I caught myself examining, I snapped myself out of it and told myself: focus on what's going on around you.
It's the way with any state of mind I think. When I first got high, I kept focusing on how I was feeling and kept looking inward, then i'd get lost in what I called "worlds" which lasted "years". When I finished the thought, I'd come back to reality and miss out on something that was said to me or something that happened. The couple that I was getting high with told me that they noticed that I struggle with having a conversation when I'm in my head and they told me to just relax and enjoy the state. But I kept examining it and getting lost in it. (I couldn't help it, it's a habit)
Now I'm starting to understand my mind a little bit better. Thank you marijuana lol

The bus got to the university and I noticed that it was empty. No sexy girls walking around in black legging/yoga pants and the usual girls jogging around. Damn...they're still on break. They might be coming back after New Year's.
So I stayed on the bus and continued to the outdoor shopping mall where all the "stuck up rich people" go to.
I was walking around feeling good,actually smiling at people. And people were smiling back at me saying: how are you doing today?
"Lovely weather today."
I'm like wtf? Why does the world look brighter? I'm not high?
I go into a few stores and check out some clothes. Express has some nice leather jackets and button down shirts that I want. Damn, I wish I had the money.
Go I to Barnes&Noble. Start checking out the comic book section.
This beautiful woman with striking features walks by behind me.
I stop her. I had to think fast.
"um...you are gorgeous...you have some really alluring features"
That'll do.
She smiles nervously. "thank you" then is about to keep walking.
" my name is Wes"
She tells me her name.
"where are you from?"
She tells me she's from here.
"oh really? I saw you and immediately thought you must be from some exotic European country. (or Africa. She looked very similar to these beautiful Morrocan girls I met in high school)
She laughed and said nope she's from here.
I asked how she was doing today and what she was planning to do.
She told me she was just about to go pick up her son from daycare or something.
"ah, you're a mother..."
I said something about how she must have a man to go home to and them I told her have a nice day while I had my hand on her shoulder. I touched her without thinking.
Usually when I'm in my head, I'm thinking: okay, touch her now...ugh I can't do it. What if she smacks my hand away? What if she moves away?
And then she walked away.
I walked around outside some more. This place was packed with girls. This is where all the university girls were hiding.
I saw a guy in the distance talking to a girl with his phone out in his hand. It looked like he was getting her number.
She walked away. Then I walked over to him and talked low: did you just get her number?
He laughed and said: "no that's my girlfriend"
Ohhh...this guy's not in the "secret society". I kept walking.
I'm walking past the Apple store and these two girls were walking in front of me. Both wearing leggings. The one on the right wearing some that were SO tight they were stretching, revealing the color of her skin underneath and a thong in between her butt-cheeks. This girl WANTED guys to look at her ass.
Her ass looked so nice. Oh my god. And she had like the nicest body. She was a little skinny but in a way where she was just more tall than she was wide. She was taller than me as well.
I walked directly behind her and just stared at her ass while we walked. I didn't care if anyone was looking. That's what it's there for. Then her friend looked back at me and then turned back to face the front. She leaned over to the girls ear and whispered something.
Then they both turned around and walked back in the opposite direction. It all happened so fast, I couldn't come up with an opener. So I let them go and I kept walking. DAMN IT. I would've had fun with that ass. Oh well there's more out there.
I should've just stopped staring and just announced out loud: Damn girl, you have a sexy ass!
And let that be my opener. She obviously wanted the attention.
As I kept walking, I kept letting more and more attractive girls pass me by. It wasn't approach anxiety. It was more of a self esteem thing where I didnt feel worthy or "well-dressed" enough to talk to these girls. I wasn't dressed my best.
I was a t-shirt I got from a surf shop and then my black zip up hoodie that I always zip up to my chest as if it's a V-neck.
And my same old denim jeans that has a bit of brown color added to them becaus I don't really wash them
I need to go look at Fashionbeans and learn up on the caring of blue jeans and which kinds fit my body type.

Then I walked into Urban Outfitters and looked at some clothes. Damn, I'm so broke. I also still felt unworthy to talk to the girls. Then I saw this fat girl who was cute in the face and she had her hair dreaded. The tips of her dreads were dyed blonde. I complimented her hair and had a brief conversation about how she did it then I left.
Went back to the bus stop and left the place. I gotta do this when I'm dressed a little bit better.
I headed home, ate lunch, got back on the bus again, and headed the opposite direction towards the river.
I wanted to go to riverside, home of the sexually open artsy people, gays and lesbians, Spanish style roofs on the buildings. YAY.
I ended up missing the trolley that would take me over there so I stayed at the outdoor mall where the Filipino pride day was held and where I met Francesca. A bunch of couples as usual, of course. This place is super touristy and romantic because there's outdoor cafes sitting right next to the river.
Then I left.
Took a bus back to the mall near where I live. The ghetto mall.
Walked around to kill some time until the next bus would come to take me home.
Got hit on by those four hood chicks in the food court.

Went home. Despite my low amount of approaches, I felt good. I feel like I'm still making progress. After New Year's and my Birthday (3rd), it's on.
21 here I come!

 

[Mr. Wes]

Update: I'm discovering and doing a lot of research on something that might help me. I'm going to quit posting for awhile and I won't post until either A) I get my first lay
B) I get pretty freakin close and deal with LMR
C) I'm making out or went on an actual date with a girl.

I find it completely pointless to keep posting interactions that only go as far as number closes. It's the same thing over and over and everyone knows I can do it. There's no need to brag about it. I know it must be frustrating for anyone reading my journal to see me with so many posts but no improvement. Just outings, discoveries, etc.
For now, I'm writing my discoveries in a personal notebook I have. As soon as I make some drastic progress, I'll share and show how much I've improved in my absence.

Hell, I might even just keep it all documented and hold back on sharing it until I have a good amount of quality pulls.
Go all "Beyonce" on you all. (releasing a full on album and keeping it secret for so long)

Until that time. Peace.

 

[Mr. Wes]

As promised, here are some of the FR and almost LR that have happened since my last post. I should do this more often because it really takes my mind away from the journals and helps me focus on what I'm doing. I got pretty freakin close today but I freaked out and had an anxiety attack...but more on that below.

Here was the first outing after my last post.


Jan 10, 2014 psychic style pickup.

I go into the neighborhood gym to refill a bottle with filtered water and when I walk into the gym there's this red head girl with glasses laying down on the seats in there. She had earphones in, had her phone raised above her and seemed to be texting. She wasn't exercising but instead seemed like she was wallowing in depression. 
I could feel her vibe and she seemed pretty sad and also chill at the same time.

She looked over at me as I walked in and I looked back at her. I say: hi.
She turns back to her phone. I do my thing and refill the water bottle.

Then when I finish I walk over to her and motion for her to take the earphones out. I say: are you alright? 
She says: yes.
Me: okay...because when I walked in....I could feel your energy....and it feels like you're in distress...but it's also this combination of zen and chilled out...

I said all of this while maintaining intense eye contact and I said it slowly and sexily. She gazed into my eyes in amazement. 
Then she opened up.
She told me about how everything I described was right and that she got locked out of her apartment. I asked about her and had a little banter. Exchanged names and what not. She then said to me:  so...this thing about sensing my energy...can you like feel auras of something? 
Me: I don't know...my friend says that I might be a little psychic...I don't really believe in that stuff but I'm starting to feel people's inner beings....auras...like you said. 
She fixed her eyes on me with an expression of disbelief, amazement, and curiosity. It's like she wanted to dissect my brain. 
She then tells me more about herself to which I determined 
A) she's too young for me. (still in high school)
B) not that sexually attractive once I really looked at her.
C) she was probably going to turn me into her emotional rock if I stayed longer and I would've been subject to emotional vampirism. 

So I wished her farewell and left with my filtered water. 

I can really see that being a legit way of seducing a girl though. 
Come in all mysterious and cold read her feelings, then escalate while inspiring her and deep diving her, then pulling her home and going for the lay.
If she was sexually attractive to me, I could've done it. 
I just need to realize when I have a moment to escalate and take it.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Note: in the post above is where the new FRs start. This below is what happened on Monday.


Jan 13, 2014 

School started back up but I decided to take this semester off for various reasons. Instead of doing nothing, I went out to practice some game and use the new thing that I'm finding more effective. I first went to the college near the beach. Approached a few girls there and even ran into girls I had already met. I ran into Haitian girl again and talked about going on a date but she said that I stopped texting her so I can't blame her. 
I stopped texting her because she always was too busy to go on a freakin date and I don't have time to sit around texting her about everything. -_- 

Most of the girls I stopped had bfs and I'm glad that my new way of showing intent gets THAT revealed to me pretty fast.  
I was standing at the bus stop when I saw this cute light skinned black girl with glasses walking toward me. She was wearing jeggings and she had some SEXY quadriceps, legs, and ass. She obviously works out or is athletic. 
As she is walking past me, I say: you're an athlete aren't you?

But there's this big ass loud bus parked right by us with its engine going and she can't hear me. She says what and moves closer. I repeat myself. She says what again. Then I wait for the bus to drive away. I repeat myself. 
You're an athlete aren't you?

She makes a thinking face and smiles: hmm...yea?
Me: do you play volleyball...? 
Her: I'm a dancer...and I used to do track and field. 
Me: oh? You know why I'm asking?
Her: why?
Me: because you have some sexy ass legs and a fit body.
She smiles.
Me: In other words, you are sexy. What's your name?
Her: (name) 
Me: I'm Wes (I shake her hand and then raise her hand above her head. Then I twirl her around and she smiles as I twirl her around.) 

The twirl seemed to amp up some sexual vibe going on and she was looking at me differently. She was smiling and locked in like she didn't want to leave. 

Me: I would love to take you on a coffee date sometime  
Her: hmmm...well I'm pretty busy.
Me: so am I. But I'm sure we can figure something out. Let me get your number.
She gives me her number. 
My bus comes and I get on the bus. 1st number of the day and 1st number using my direct: "I would love to take you on a coffee date sometime". Stating my Intensions early on is cutting right through the bullshit and I'm screening girls out early. The other girls were telling me they didn't think their boyfriends would be okay with them going on a date with me. I still have yet to come up with a response for that. I'm thinking: "I'm not trying to take you boyfriend's place so tell him he has nothing to worry about. I just want to have you as my company as I go get (date location: coffee, ice cream, lunch, etc)" 

Maybe that will disqualify me as the boyfriend candidate.
Right before I got on the bus my female friend (that I made out with last semester) was walking down the sidewalk to the parking lot. Me and her had a sexual hug and she asked where I was going and that I should come with her since we both live down the street from each other. I considered it....but maybe next time. I already had plans to practice at 3 colleges today. Plus she is like a 6 so part of me wants to fuck her but then another part of me is bothered by some features she has. Plus, she sometimes doesn't like taking care of herself and comes to school braless and her boobs are sagging which looks gross to me. AND she forgets to pluck a few hairs in between her eyebrows making it look like a unibrow is growing in. I feel like a douchebag for talking bad about her. I'm done now.  
I'm going to hang out with her on Wednesday possibly. 
Sent athletic girl a text. Got no reply. 
When I was getting her number she told me a different area code and said she was from Boston. I called her phone and tried to see if her phone was ringing. She hid her phone screen from me. She said: you can't see my phone.
Then I was like: it's a fake number.
Her: no, it's not.
Me: yea, its a fake number. 
She didn't answer. Then I told her i'll shoot her a text when I can.

Got on bus and sent that text and like I said, no reply. 
I'll probably call her sometime and get her schedule. (or clear up if it's real or fake)

Rode the bus to the college that is near the river. About a 1 and a half hour ride there. Walked around and the energy there is different. The culture there is different as well. This is my second time at this college. The first time I came was just to check it out and scope around. Nobody was there though. Now people were walking all over the place. 

I see this Filipino girl walking down some stairs on the phone. She looks familiar so I stop her with: you look familiar.
She gets off the phone and hangs up on her friend to talk to me. This girl is BUBBLY. God, she was all over the place...so hyper and friendly. I move her over to the edge of a fountain with me and we sit there talking. I stated my intent and she told me she has a boyfriend. We just keep talking and she's asking me a bunch of questions and is genuinely curious about me. She kinda leads the conversation but I don't care. she is just all over the place. She's people watching as we talk and says every once in awhile: "Ooh that boy is cute!" 
And I'm like: hahaha...don't you have a boyfriend? 
She breaks circle a couple times to talk to this guy I went to high school with. Small world that she knows him. And she talks to this girl she knows who walks by. We continue talking and I just decide that we should be friends because she was friendly and cooler than most Asian girls I meet. I think she wants to be black or something. Lol she told me she wished her boyfriend was black (he's Asian) and I was like: why? You want some BBC?
Her: what does that mean? I hear it all the time....wait...big...black...ohhhhhhh! 
We start laughing.
This girl is going to be a cool friend indeed. 
She tells me about how weird it is that I approached her and she just walked with me despite not knowing me and she said that most guys approach her in a weird way. She told me about some guy who came to her high energy and asked if she did parkour. I was like: that sounds like something my friend Victor would say.
Pretty soon Victor comes out of class and sees us sitting at the fountain.
She was like: OH MY GOD, that's the guy! That's the weird guy! He's your friend?! 
 
Lol needless to say, she ended up adding me on Facebook. If I go back to that college I'll have a cool attractive female friend for some preselection. And if she wants to gets sexual, cool. 

Next, at the same college, I approach this mixed girl who is black and white. 
I ask her if she is a model and she says yes and then I dive into it as my friend victor stands a few feet away listening to what I say. I shake her hand and then lift her hand up and twirl her. She giggles as she twirls and just like last time some amp of vibe happens. I state my intent. She has a boyfriend. 
I hadn't thought of a response yet so I ended it and told her it was nice meeting her. I pulled her in for a sexual hug and she made a tiny little sexy moan as a manhandled her and pulled her in. 
Then she turned to walk away. Then I pulled her arm back and said wait.
Me: that little moan that you just did...that was sexy...if that's what you sound like in bed...oh myyyyy...(sly smile) 
She gave me a sexy smile back with this look like: "you bad boy" and then kept walking. 

Victor was like: I cant believe you just said that! 
And I'm like: I'm trying not to filter myself. Look how well it's working. lol 

Chilled in the cafeteria with my Asian friends and Victor until a bus arrived and I headed to the university. It was another 1 1/2 hour ride and when I got to the university, I saw that it was dead and stayed on the bus to continue to the outdoor shopping mall. 
As soon as I get off the bus and I'm walking past a hot dog stand, I see this cute light skinned (black? Or maybe Hispanic?) girl with her hair dyed blonde everywhere but her roots, which are black. Like a hairstyle that Rita Ora has. Actually, this girl looks a LOT like Rita Ora. She was cute. 
She is walking fast and smiling and I catch up and say hey, you're adorable, what's your name? 
She stops at the hot dog stand and looks at the menu paying half attention to me. Then she answers.
Her: thanks. I'm Dee. 
Me: Dee...is that short for something?
Her: yea...D(unpronounceable) lol but people just call me Dee.
Me: okay Dee...well I'm T...short for Tevin. 
We shake hands and she continues walking.
I walk with her and ask what's up and what she's doing here today.
She says that she is going to the Mac store to get her dads phone fixed.
Me: so you run your dads errands? Lol 
Her: pretty much. 
She asks me questions too and I find out that she goes to the university. 
I'm realizing that I need to state my intentions or else she's going to think that I'm just being friendly. I tell her that I want to take her on a date sometime and she says this: oh....I caaan't 
Me: let me guess...you have a boyfriend?
Her: no, it's not that it's...
Me: a girlfriend?! 
Her: hahaha noooo! It's just that me and this guy have been going on a few dates recently and i already know he likes me. I'm trying to see where it's going. 

Oh great. Dude...whoever you are, you need to move faster cause I'm about to steal yo girl. 

Then I give her this whole speech about how just because her and a guy are "talking" (as girls my age like to put it these days) doesn't mean that she can't date other guys. 

She replies with saying that SHE would feel uncomfortable talking to other guys that aren't the guy she's "talking" to now. 

I out-frame her and make that seem ridiculous and say that just because her and this guy are dating doesn't mean that she belongs to him and dating is just a casual thing. its not some sacred act that you only do with potential boyfriends. I tell her she can date anyone just to see where it goes and if it goes nowhere then you can just be friends with the guy.

She says: ohh! I never thought of it like that. Tevin, you are really an extraordinary kind of guy. (or something like that) 

We go into the Mac store. She is about to do her own thing so I stay calm and figure I need to get her number and agreement to a date and part ways. I'm not sticking around. Chase has told me not to do that before. 
I say: let me get your number really quick, I have to go.
She gives me her number and then we part ways.

I text her a few minutes later with
Me: hey Dee. It's Tevin, save my number  
Her: gotcha! 
Me: I'm pretty busy on tuesday and Wednesday. What are you doing on Thursday?
Her: I work on Thursday >.< my only free day is Monday cause I'm either in class or working.
Me: when are you free on Mondays?
Her: after 4:15
Me: let's get some Starbucks after then. Sound good or?
Her: okay that sounds good.
Me: alright let me know if you get any change of plans. I gotta go now. Peace.

After that I approached a girl in a bookstore but she was in high school. Jail bait. 
And I approached this scene chick with swooshy hair who was with a guy with swooshy hair. She looked goth and she was sexy. They both had gauges in their ears, but not those super big gauges. 
The conversation ended up being really platonic and I became friends with them. The guy and I connected over skateboarding and smoking and I accidentally left the girl out. I pulled her in to inspect a Ganesh (Indian elephant God) necklace that she had on. She has so many silver necklaces. One with a skull and another with Ganesh and I forgot the others.
They both gave me their numbers and told me we should hang out sometime.
The guy makes music and is in a band I think...and they wanted to invite to parties or something. Cool.

Last of the day was on the bus. These two foreign girls were speaking in unfamiliar language next to me. The whole time I was trying to figure out what language it was...I never heard it. It sounded French to me.
So I looked over and said: parle-vous francais? 
They looked at me confused.
Then the attractive girl said: no, Germany.

Ohh they're German...so I guess they're speaking....Dutch? The girl that I had a Skype fling with in Holland spoke Dutch...but I never actually heard it.

The girls continued talking in their language and I couldn't make out anything they were saying because I don't know a single bit of Dutch or German or whatever Germans speak. I can usually tell what Spanish speakers are saying...as well as French speakers...but I was just lost. It sucks. 
Then I re- opened the girl.
Me: I just wanted to say that you're cute so that I don't regret not saying it later.
She didn't understand me and moved closer.
I repeated and she smiled but had a confused look on her face. She said thank you in her very strong accent. Then I asked her her name, told her mine and asked if she was single. She said yes. 
Then she moved back to her seat. 
Then a reopened a minute later.
I state my intent. She doesn't understand me. I repeat. She scrunched up her face in confusion and says she has a boyfriend. 

I'm like: what? Okay? 
I shook it off and got off at my stop.
I don't think she understood most of what was going on. She was cute though.
If thats what German girls look like...I think I might need to take a trip to Germany. 

 

[Mr. Wes]

And now, an almost LR. If you haven't read the new FRs, they're right above. I'm posting this because I didn't expect to be this far, this early...and I need help/advice now. I got very close but a bit of anxiety ruined everything.

Wednesday January 15, 2014

Ugh I'm still kinda embarrassed and frustrated about this...but here goes. :/
To keep it short, I'll cut out all the other interactions I had today and just keep it on this girl. Maybe I'll add the others in later.

I first see this girl on the bus ride to the college. I get on the bus and sit in a seat and don't really pay attention to my surroundings in the back. I normally sit first, look around and see what's around me after. So I'm looking around and then I see this cute girl with jet black hair sitting behind me. I glance quick and try not to stare so I don't get a good look. Maybe two more times, I glance back again to see what she looks like. She cute.

We get to the college and we get off the bus, she gets off with me. Along with a lot of other people. From the corner of my eye, I notice that she has a really nice body but I can't see well because it's my peripherals. I let her walk ahead of me so I can get a good look. She walks ahead and she is SEXY. Wearing yoga tights, boots, a tank top with these huge boobs peeking out a little. Sunglasses and she has a striped red button down shirt over her tank top. Buttoned up to her boobs making a V-neck.
I didn't feel like approaching yet and I let her go. She ended up walking into the girls restroom.
I walked around the general area a bit and fast forward to when she comes out of the bathroom.
She walks out and puts her sunglasses back on. I stop her.
Me: "hey, I saw you earlier on the bus...you're cute."
Her: oh thank you..(bust fixing herself)
Me: what's your name?
Her: (name)
Me: I'm Wes. (shakes her hand, her hands are cold and wet but I notice how cold they are and I'm about to say something g but--)
Her: oh sorry, my hands are wet!
Me: it's okay, haha what in the world were you DOING in there?
Her: (she realizes what I mean) oh (she makes a shocked face and smiles)
Me: don't worry, I'll keep it a secret between me and you
Her: haha okay.
Me: yea, I was just going to say that your hands were cold..that's all.
After that we just small talked a little. Conversation flowed, I got her talking a little about herself. Then I said:
You seem pretty cool, I would love to take you on a coffee date sometime.
Her: ohh...idk how my boyfriend would feel about that.
Me: (time to test this out) what makes you think I'm trying to take his place?
Her: (she has a shocked face and then it turn into a reassured face like I just passed a test of hers or something) okay.
Me: so...how about I talk your number...and then when you're free, we go out sometime. (silence and eye contact)

We stood there in silence for a few seconds and then she said okay.
I pull out my phone. She gives me the first three numbers and we get to talking about something else for a little bit but then snap out of it and I finish getting her number. She says: okay well text me your name, alright
Me: alright. (I hold out my hand for her to shake it)
She holds out hers to shake it but then I raise her hand in the air and twirl her around. She giggles and says: oh I thought we were shaking hands!
Then after I finish twirling her I pull her in and give her a sexual hug.
Me: naw I'm making you my ballerina, then hugging you.
She laughs. Then we part ways.

Two minutes later, I send her a text saying: Hey (name) its Wes...save my number

Her reply: done
I don't send back after.
I did lots more approaches after that but they're for another post. Fast forward later and then I sed her another text saying:
What's your schedule look like for the week?
She replies telling me when she's at school and what times.

I didn't reply immediately...instead I walked around campus for a little bit and then to my surprise I see her sitting at a picnic table studying under some palm trees.
I walk over to her and say: so I was walking down the street, moving my feet and then I see (her name) over in this seat...I think my life's complete.
She smiles
Her: heyyy.
Me: I can't think of anything else that rhymes with street. Wassup? (I sit down)
Her: not much, studying for trigonometry. You're still here?
Then we go into talking about unimportant things...deep dived a little. Then I bring up the text. I say: so when did you say you were free?
She tells me the schedule and then I think about it in my head. She's free for the next 3 hours and she's spending it here studying. What a waste. So I say:
We'll since you're free for the next 3 hours, wanna ride the bus home with me and chill until your next class?
Her: okay

I was thrown off by this and a surge of anxiety and adrenaline rushed through my body. I got nervous immediately but my face stated calm. My whole demeanor was VERY calm and collected and my fundamentals were ON POINT. I could tell because ever since I first met her earlier she seemed nervous and excited.
Then she asked me when we were going to go. (and I forgot to mention that earlier she asked where I lived so I WAS NOT GOING TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. Noticed that escalation window)
I told her that the next bus comes in about 20 minutes, while I was checking my phone's clock.
She says: alright, I'm just going to finish studying first and then we'll go.
Me: alright, well just meet me over by the bus stop at around (this time)
Her: alright, I'll set a reminder in my phone.
Me: okay cool (I get up and linger for a bit, she stares at me nervously and with excitement...like she wants me to do something.)
Then I walk away.
Fast forward again to 20 minutes later. (lol I went and cold approached more girls during this time)
And I see her in the distance heading toward the bus stop.
I start walking to the bus stop as well and sit down there.
She walks up to me sitting and were smiling at each other.
Me: heyy, you made it
Her: yea (she sits down)
Then she starts freaking out about her sunglasses. She inks she lost them and then she searches her purse. She finds them and then puts them on.
Me: aw, covering up your beautiful eyes?
Her: haha..you'll see them later.
I use the sunglasses to transition into talking about Florida weather and the sun and blah blah and we small talk and I begin to deep dive.
The bus comes and I continue with the deep diving on the bus like its the most natural thing to do.
We talk about many things and I'm just trying to keep this short so I won't go to detail about it. I remember throwing out a sexual innuendo but she didn't respond to it. And she mentioned her boyfriend once and I saw the background of her phone which was of her and her boyfriend kissing. I figured maybe he's a bad lover or something because she's going home with ME.

We get off at my stop and then go into the neighborhood. I get her inside the apartment and then hold a shh finger to my mouth. I walk over to my moms room and say hello to her while my hand is on her doorknob and I'm trying to close her door a little bit.
My mom notices and she's like: why are you trying to close my door?
Me: oh, that's by accident sorry. (I let go of it and leave it in a position where it's almost closed)
If her door was wide open she would see the girl I had with me and I did t know how my mom would feel about that. I also didn't expect her to be home. This same shit happened the last time I had a girl over. My mom's boyfriend was home and I freaked out and couldn't get the girl to my room so I made her leave. Not letting THAT happen again.
Then I led girl to my room and shut the door.
My room has no chairs and it's just my bed, a dresser, and a nightstand. I had my skateboards and shoes all over the floor and I said: excuse the mess...
She was like its fine and she sat on my bed. (ha. Ha. Ha.)

This is when I got weird and stopped being so cool and collected. I was genuinely nervous and excited and I couldn't believe I had gotten her this far. THIS STUFF REALLY WORKS. You just gotta follow the process. I sat down on the bed with her. Then she asked me where the bathroom was.
I said right outside my door and she went really quick and came back.
I went to the kitchen while she was in there and got us both some bottled water. I offered her a water and she took it and started drinking.
The I noticed her boots on and said that she had to take her boots off because we don't walk around in shoes in this house and she said: oh! Okay! I'm sorry. (and she hurriedly took them off)
She got them off and started talking about how now her outfit doesn't look complete without the boots and I told her it was fine. We got to small talking about I showed her my artwork (because we had been talking about art earlier and she's an artist herself) I used it as a way for us to sit closer and I was rubbing my palm against her leg. She looked down at my hand but didn't do anything.
She let out a nervous laugh.
I was like: what is it?
Her: nothing..it's just this is so weird.
I apologized (forehead smack! This is we here it went downhill. I needed to calm down)

All I could think about was the fact that she was in my room, ON MY BED. And I could possibly be HAVING sex with her in a few minutes. I just need to initiate it because of course she's not going to do it.
I struggled to find topics to talk about. I was looking for something that could help me smoothly transition to kissing her.
I even talked about her relationship and how long they've been together (4 months) and she was like: why are we talking about my boyfriend? Then I changed the subject.
Then I got silent and turned my voice into my bedroom voice and talked softly and sexily.mher eyes were locked on mine in excitement and anticipation. I noticed that my fundamentals were still ON POINT and I STILL was calm and collected on the outside but INSIDE, my heart was beating like a million times per second and I as freaking out. It didn't even cross my mind that I should stay calm. All I could think of was DON'T MESS UP.
Then I grabbed her and pulled her closer to me and leaned in and started kissing her. She was kissing back and was moving her face back as I kept trying to kiss her. I stopped and looked at her.
Her: um...I don't do that with anybody other than with my boyfriend.
Me: oh? So you don't kiss anybody on the lips except for your boyfriend?
Her: yes. That's for him.
I took this as she'll fuck other guys but won't kiss them. Just like a previous girl I brought home with me. It's this weird rule girls have but whatever.
Then I looked her in the eyes and said calmly: I don't want you to feel uncomfortable alright?
She silently gazed back into mine with a reassured face.
I moved back in and instead started kissing her neck. I started running my hands on her body and had my hand on her big plump boob. Didn't even get to squeeze that beautiful thing yet either
She then stopped me and said: I think I'm going to go...
I stayed calm (but was freaking out internally) and said: like I said...I don't want you to feel uncomfortable...and I'm not trying to take your boyfriend's place.
She paused as she was putting on her boots and stared at me trying to process what was going on.
I feel like I should've escalated here as well. But for some reason I chalked this up as a failure and gave up early. My heart beating was out of control and I'm surprised she couldn't HEAR it.
She got up off my bed and walked towards my door.
Her: I'm sorry..I just don't want to cheat on my boyfriend.
Me: the next bus doesn't come until an hour.
She checks her phone for the bus schedules.
Her: I think I'll just wait outside for it.
Me: I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable (my past nice guy started coming out and I'm apologizing and shit)
I walk with her to the door and open it for her. She lingers at the door for a minute. (I realize now...another escalation window)
Before she went out I grabbed her and hugged her. She stayed hugging me and had her mouth near my neck. Kinda felt like she was kissing it. Then I started kissing her neck, then I moved down to her boobs. She jerked away and then walked outside and kept walking and didn't look back.
After she was out of sight, I closed the door and kicked myself in anger. UGH!
I'm such an idiot.
I turn around and my mom is standing there and she's like: what are you doing?
And I'm like: oh nothing...I thought I saw someone outside that I knew.
Mom: oh okay. (shrugs it off and goes in her room) lol

I text the girl 20 minutes later or so: "did you make it to the bus safely?" (inner nice guy coming out again)
She texts back a few minutes later: yep.

So guys, that's what I've been up to today and i would really like some feedback. This is the first time I've had a girl over since June of 2013. I think part of my anxiety was the fact that my mom was in the other room, but other than that, I don't know why I was so nervous. I still so mad at myself but I have a date with another girl on Monday so wish me luck.
I guess escalating is my sticking point.

 

[luego]

Reactions, not results.

Your penultimate (massive) post has you going way over the top. Spinning girls, going uber direct, etc. You seem to be getting good reactions, but those don't count for anything. If it doesn't result in a date, it wasn't the right play, regardless of how she (seemed to) react.

I saw you use the phrase "coffee date" a time or 2. I try to avoid the word date whenever humanly possible. I even avoid the word "out". We're not going on a coffee date. I'm not taking her out, or going out with her to dinner. More of a "there's this cool coffee shop a block from here, we should grab a bite to eat and continue this conversation".

A few times I saw you do a hard "number close". Try to never close with the number request. Get it on a high point, then continue the conversation a while as if it was no big deal. And, again, the only reason you want the number (and she should know this) is because you need to set up the logistics for the meetup which you just tentatively discussed.

With your FR, you seemed much more calm and collected then you were in basically all the prior posts. And resultantly, you got her in your home.

She was very nervous while there. And it was likely because she has the bf. Then you specifically start discussing him. That's awkward enough that *she* brings it up. I then get the impression that you went for the kiss (and kept pushing) as things were getting awkward (ie: fuck it, it's now or never). Too much, too soon. Toss on some music, toss on some tv/Netflix, you want to get the kiss in early enough that there's not time for huge amounts of tension to build (Chase's 10 minute rule) but doesn't mean you should be having sex within 10 minutes. That could take a half hour, an hour, or the whole evening. All you're doing with an early kiss is establishing "yes, you're here for a non-platonic reason, and I want both of us to know that we both know it. But no pressure, this is all really easy and natural and no stress".

 

[Mr. Wes]

Reactions, not results.

Your penultimate (massive) post has you going way over the top. Spinning girls, going uber direct, etc. You seem to be getting good reactions, but those don't count for anything. If it doesn't result in a date, it wasn't the right play, regardless of how she (seemed to) react.

I saw you use the phrase "coffee date" a time or 2. I try to avoid the word date whenever humanly possible. I even avoid the word "out". We're not going on a coffee date. I'm not taking her out, or going out with her to dinner. More of a "there's this cool coffee shop a block from here, we should grab a bite to eat and continue this conversation".

I understand what you're saying here but I've tried the whole "avoid using the word date" thing and it always communicated to girls that we were just friends. I specifically use "date" because I'm letting her know that I'm not trying to be her friend. Hence why they will usually let me know if they have a boyfriend.

A few times I saw you do a hard "number close". Try to never close with the number request. Get it on a high point, then continue the conversation a while as if it was no big deal. And, again, the only reason you want the number (and she should know this) is because you need to set up the logistics for the meetup which you just tentatively discussed.

Again, this is true and I understand this, but i believe that that method is when I have a lot of time on my hands and have the time to go on instant dates with girls and run through a whole process. I don't, I'm busy. I'm collecting numbers not as a close but after getting girls to agree to go on a date. And I'm running it like its a game. I'm collecting multiple numbers within the day and deleting the ones that don't lead anywhere. I've only chosen to type the ones that have.
I agree with you that I should be getting results not reactions, however, in this case, the numbers were the results. Sure ,it's not good to be all about reactions but that doesn't mean I should cease providing good feelings. I still got the number and she still went home with me. Besides, I'm doing this "twirling" to get used to touching girls and an excuse to touch them early.

With your FR, you seemed much more calm and collected then you were in basically all the prior posts. And resultantly, you got her in your home.
I was just as calm in the previous ones, it's just that it actually had an effect on the girl I brought home with me.

She was very nervous while there. And it was likely because she has the bf. Then you specifically start discussing him. That's awkward enough that *she* brings it up. I then get the impression that you went for the kiss (and kept pushing) as things were getting awkward (ie: fuck it, it's now or never). Too much, too soon. Toss on some music, toss on some tv/Netflix, you want to get the kiss in early enough that there's not time for huge amounts of tension to build (Chase's 10 minute rule) but doesn't mean you should be having sex within 10 minutes. That could take a half hour, an hour, or the whole evening. All you're doing with an early kiss is establishing "yes, you're here for a non-platonic reason, and I want both of us to know that we both know it. But no pressure, this is all really easy and natural and no stress".

Noted. That sounds like a great idea. If only the Netflix and music player weren't outside of my room in the living room. I have nothing entertaining in my room aside from artwork and my bed.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Okay, I'm starting to realize now from my recent interactions out on the field that if I want to get a lay, I have to seriously put both my feet in the water and "dive" in.
Normally, when I'm out cold approaching, I treat it as a game. I only stick one foot in and don't "truly" go full out. It's just my way of protecting my ego or something.
I go around "testing" things and trying to get reactions and I just build on creativity until I'm getting even better reactions. Then I get to the point where the reactions are amazing and the girls are giving me obvious signals that I need to escalate. But then, I don't do it.

Why? Because I still have one foot in the water. I haven't dedicated myself FULLY to the interaction. I didn't OPEN the girl actually expecting to close. I play a game of: "let's see how she reacts" instead of "lets go seduce this girl and successfully get laid"
I'm not playing to win. I'm just playing and enjoying the game.

Now, it's about time that I decided I want to actually win.
If that leads me to getting a girlfriend (which I'm afraid of happening right now in my life) then so be it.
So now, these next few days when I go around cold approaching, I'm going to SERIOUSLY just take the girl who is giving me escalation windows and then LEAD her to a private place, tell her to shut up and we make love to each other.
I've been taking their objections at face value, actually listening to them when they say they have "homework" to do or they have to "study"

Um, they can always do that later. Right now, we're going on an adventure and we're going to have a good time that will be unforgettable.

 

[PrettyDecent]

I play a game of: "let's see how she reacts" instead of "lets go seduce this girl and successfully get laid"
I'm not playing to win. I'm just playing and enjoying the game.

Now, it's about time that I decided I want to actually win.

That's powerful stuff right there! That made a huge difference for me when I changed this mindset too. How's your progress been since?

~Nick

 

[Mr. Wes]

hey Nick...thanks for dropping by.

update:

I've been gone from girlschase for awhile and i'm just dropping in to say that I didn't quit. I was just going through a lot of things...maturing, gaining more reference points. As I've mentioned on this journal before, I experimented with marijane and while I don't recommend doing drugs, I have to admit I learned some pretty valuable stuff during my experimenting.
let me explain...
I am naturally an anxious person. I think too much and most of the time, i'm not my "true" self in public. What weed did for me though, was that I stopped overthinking and caring about meaningless things that I stress over and became relaxed and myself. its like the same feeling when I get "in state"
I didn't practice in this state however. instead, I spent most of my time going places with new friends I made and experienced things for the first time. I've never had friends like them before. They're so accepting about who I am and they don't judge and they realize everyone has issues. Its awesome.
I can honestly say I've matured tremendously since the last time I was on. My mental age before....I felt 16 or 17
Now, I feel my age.... or closer to it. I feel 20 now.
I've pretty much lost interest in wanting to bang a ton a girls....and i'd be fine if I can find an awesome girlfriend.
GC is awesome because even if it doesn't work out, I know exactly how to get another awesome girlfriend.

I've pretty much gotten cold approaching, getting numbers, pulling,and getting dates down. Even though i'm still virgin, I'm pretty experienced.
All I need to work on now is closing. I know everyone says it doesn't matter but I think i'm going to have my first lay be a girl I really, really like.
And then i'm going to try a relationship...if it doesn't work out, i'll be back and i'll be practicing once again.
that's all for now.
peace.

 

[Mr. Wes]

Discontinuing this journal.
Thanks for following guys!