A
Anonymous
Guest
Hi everyone
Quick Introduction
So here's what you should know about me. I'm 16 years old now and was never all that good with women. I've kissed 4 or 5 girls in my life and never did really more than that. Currently I'm living in Taipei - Taiwan but I'm going to move to Europe in a few months. About half a year ago I stumbled over GC. Since then I'm actively reading the articles in there but I never took action. That's because I was stucked in a so called "Relationship". Well I never laid her haha. About one week ago my gf told me that she didn't feel "the spark" of our relationship anymore and wanted to break up with me. In search for help to rescue my relationship I read all articles on GC about Relationships. What I realized was that I'm too nice, too desperate and too needy. I thought long about it and finally made my commitment:
I don't want to be that guy anymore. Whatever it takes I will change myself. Or I'll die trying.
Learn how to cold approach should be my first task. My plan was to go out at least three times per week one hour each (day game). Let's start with day one.
The first Step
After reviewing Chase's posts on Approach Anxiety and his "how to get started at picking up girls" I went outside to take a walk in the city with the goal of approaching one girl direct. After a few minutes of walking I saw a pretty girl around my age and I told myself: Let's go approach her
I came closer. But then suddenly I was frozen. I couldn't move. My mind attacked me mentally with thousand warnings. She could have a boyfriend. Maybe her father's from the Mafia and he'll kill me if I approach his daughter. Maybe she will call the police if I approach her, and so on. Damn. I just couldn't do it.
Okay the next girl I see, I'm just going to approach her whatever my mind tells me, or so I thought. I tried, but I failed, again and again. After about 10 failed approaches I sat down on a bench and looked at myself. How can I become successful with women if I can't even approach one girl. I remembered what Chase wrote in his article: Approach her for the sake of overcoming your fears! So I changed my goal for today to: Get rejected by one girl you approach. I continued walking. The next time I see a cute girl I will talk to her for sure. And there I saw her. I walked up to her. But right before the approach it was there again. That voice in my head. It was so strong. It dragged me away from the girl once again. I was angry. I was upset. I didn't know what to do. I was about to give up." Tomorrow I'll try it again" I told myself. I started walking back home.
On my way, just a few minutes away from home I saw a man with his wife (or maybe girlfriend, whatever) around the age of 30. The man pushing a baby stroller with one hand, carrying a shopping bag with the other. His wife next to him with both hands free. I heard her shouting: "You Idiot, you screwed that up again." (No idea what she was talking about). Then I heard him: "Sorry Darling". And that moment it hit me like a thunder. Do I want to be that guy when I'm older? Hell, NO! I don't want to end like this Shopping Guy™. And the only person who decides what I will be like 15 years later is me. I have to take action now.
And soon I found the next cute girl. This time I'll do it. I walked closer and closer to her. And there was it again. This fucking voice in my head. But this time I just pushed through it. So I said Hi. The girl stopped for a moment and looked at me. I said: You're cute. She looked at me with a "WTF-facial expression". Then she continued to walk in the other direction.
Idk why, but it didn't feel like a failure. Actually I felt amazing. I finally did it. My first day was a victory
I think I learned much today. Even if it's the easiest thing to do for most of you, for me it was definitely a hard hurdle to overcome.
So if you're just like I was a few hours ago and didn't make your first cold approach yet, here are some tips from my side:
1. Only take one single approach as goal. You can do more afterwards if you feel like, but if you never did one before the pressure of having to do six approaches in the next hour can be so overwhelming that you eventually don't even do one.
2. Make it your goal to be rejected once instead of approach once. This will help to remove your fear of rejection.
3. Fear it to be weak. Fear it to be alone when you're older. Fear it to never get the girl of your dreams. If this fear is bigger than your fear of approaching then you will be able to approach.
Closing Words
I'm still years away from being a great seducer, but thats ok. Today I made my first step. And if I never give up on my commitment, then one day I will be there for sure. And if You didn't make your first step yet, now is the time for it.
~Hayakun
Quick Introduction
So here's what you should know about me. I'm 16 years old now and was never all that good with women. I've kissed 4 or 5 girls in my life and never did really more than that. Currently I'm living in Taipei - Taiwan but I'm going to move to Europe in a few months. About half a year ago I stumbled over GC. Since then I'm actively reading the articles in there but I never took action. That's because I was stucked in a so called "Relationship". Well I never laid her haha. About one week ago my gf told me that she didn't feel "the spark" of our relationship anymore and wanted to break up with me. In search for help to rescue my relationship I read all articles on GC about Relationships. What I realized was that I'm too nice, too desperate and too needy. I thought long about it and finally made my commitment:
I don't want to be that guy anymore. Whatever it takes I will change myself. Or I'll die trying.
Learn how to cold approach should be my first task. My plan was to go out at least three times per week one hour each (day game). Let's start with day one.
The first Step
After reviewing Chase's posts on Approach Anxiety and his "how to get started at picking up girls" I went outside to take a walk in the city with the goal of approaching one girl direct. After a few minutes of walking I saw a pretty girl around my age and I told myself: Let's go approach her
I came closer. But then suddenly I was frozen. I couldn't move. My mind attacked me mentally with thousand warnings. She could have a boyfriend. Maybe her father's from the Mafia and he'll kill me if I approach his daughter. Maybe she will call the police if I approach her, and so on. Damn. I just couldn't do it. Okay the next girl I see, I'm just going to approach her whatever my mind tells me, or so I thought. I tried, but I failed, again and again. After about 10 failed approaches I sat down on a bench and looked at myself. How can I become successful with women if I can't even approach one girl. I remembered what Chase wrote in his article: Approach her for the sake of overcoming your fears! So I changed my goal for today to: Get rejected by one girl you approach. I continued walking. The next time I see a cute girl I will talk to her for sure. And there I saw her. I walked up to her. But right before the approach it was there again. That voice in my head. It was so strong. It dragged me away from the girl once again. I was angry. I was upset. I didn't know what to do. I was about to give up." Tomorrow I'll try it again" I told myself. I started walking back home.
On my way, just a few minutes away from home I saw a man with his wife (or maybe girlfriend, whatever) around the age of 30. The man pushing a baby stroller with one hand, carrying a shopping bag with the other. His wife next to him with both hands free. I heard her shouting: "You Idiot, you screwed that up again." (No idea what she was talking about). Then I heard him: "Sorry Darling". And that moment it hit me like a thunder. Do I want to be that guy when I'm older? Hell, NO! I don't want to end like this Shopping Guy™. And the only person who decides what I will be like 15 years later is me. I have to take action now.
And soon I found the next cute girl. This time I'll do it. I walked closer and closer to her. And there was it again. This fucking voice in my head. But this time I just pushed through it. So I said Hi. The girl stopped for a moment and looked at me. I said: You're cute. She looked at me with a "WTF-facial expression". Then she continued to walk in the other direction.
Idk why, but it didn't feel like a failure. Actually I felt amazing. I finally did it. My first day was a victory
I think I learned much today. Even if it's the easiest thing to do for most of you, for me it was definitely a hard hurdle to overcome.
So if you're just like I was a few hours ago and didn't make your first cold approach yet, here are some tips from my side:
1. Only take one single approach as goal. You can do more afterwards if you feel like, but if you never did one before the pressure of having to do six approaches in the next hour can be so overwhelming that you eventually don't even do one.
2. Make it your goal to be rejected once instead of approach once. This will help to remove your fear of rejection.
3. Fear it to be weak. Fear it to be alone when you're older. Fear it to never get the girl of your dreams. If this fear is bigger than your fear of approaching then you will be able to approach.
Closing Words
I'm still years away from being a great seducer, but thats ok. Today I made my first step. And if I never give up on my commitment, then one day I will be there for sure. And if You didn't make your first step yet, now is the time for it.
~Hayakun