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- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,246
One of the guys in my crew wants to break up, and ask how to? I realize there is not a decent guide on how to break up, most kind of weak that i read or ramblings.... I kind of like Neil one at the end credit @Dreamer going to post later.... Now i am going to post different ones, even dark ones and scumbag ones.... This is more for mains, girlfriend, wife, open long term relationship (another way of saying main), top hoe etc...
Before you do make sure you are 100000000% sure you want to break up.... This is what happens to most players and why i am bringing this up:
- you got a girl she is investing as soon as she start withdrawing, cat string theory* kicks in, and the pair bonding withdrawals as well, then you sabotage the whole thing and try getting her back....
*The cat string theory is a seduction technique that suggests women act the same way as cats do with string. When a cat sees a string, it becomes obsessed with it, chasing it around the room and leaping in the air. However, when the string is just out of reach, the cat becomes less interested and will eventually lose interest if the string falls right in front of it.
- You think you will be single and get lots of pussy and then you go out and you go rejection after rejection after rejection and then you be like, wtf! i was better of with my girl.... And you get buyers remorse.
- You have a girl or 2 you are messing around, they like you cause you have a girl/girls or wife, so the dynamics and the drama and the sneakiness etc.... Translate into big pimp energy and the dynamics make you super less needy.... As soon as you break up you change dynamics those girls lose attraction.... Or when you get with those girls full time, you are like "wtf have i done" and you get buyers remorse....
- You have a girl you like you have not even fucked, and you believe if you dump your girls and fantasize you will be together with fantazy girl (onitis).... When you don't, then you run back to try to get your ex main back...
- you see friends or guys in forum or chat getting on a fuck streak, and you think "i can do what he does", then you realize "nope" i can't too much work or i am not as good as i thought i was or once was....
Different ways to break up:
Ghosting.- People started to tell me "horrible" "kj" but ghosting has his place, usually is easier with fuck buddies.... But it has its plays in some situations, were you caught a like, or cheating or double life.... Is some type of passive aggressive revenge way......
^ so how you do this, you just unfollow in social media, and stop replying and returning calls or messages....... Is unlikely many or any of you will do this, but i have done it mainly when i caught a betrayal or a lie or something shady as a punishment/revenge way....
Making it her idea.- This way, you start acting cold and distant...... little by little you start spending less and less time together and seeing each other.... This i learn from women, she start getting a hint that the break up is coming or about to come..... You stop putting any effort and then she breaks up with you..... But you actually manipulated the whole thing......
The talk.- Similar to the above you start acting distance and she start getting the hints, and she brings it up.... "you say i don't see a future together we should start seeing other people", problem with this is that a lot of women will start crying, or yelling at you, or throw shit etc.... depending on girl, sometimes the crying and vulnerability will make you "turn on" and they know how to use vulnerability and guilt to bring you back in.... So be aware of this.... Also, she can start with the drama that you may have another girl or cheating..... Here is by fastlife on the talk:
" just say you need to talk. Just make up some bullshit that lets her ego blame you—I.e. you realized you aren’t where you wanted to be in life and realized that it isn’t fair to her and she deserves better, etc. And stick to it"....
The move.- You can blame it on moving or about to move to another city, school, town etc... and as much as it pains you, you have to let her go, cause of the move...
Religion.- You can blame it on religious' differences and you want to find your way to God and you are not spiritually yolk....
Bait her to hit you.- you piss her off to the point that she hits you, and you blame it on her hitting you and there is no coming back...
Gay.- tell her you are gay.... (this one is weird one, but i swear i did it one time, but with a fuck buddy though)
The Romeo and Juliet way.- Blame it on your parents....
^ so some are more masculine ways, some are pussy ways, and some are scumbag ways...... But I have done, or have had girls done variations to me...Though the only girl that really broke up with me was my ex of 10 years tbh....
Finally, credit @Dreamer The Style/Neil Strauss from the game way:
"How To Break Up
Neil Strauss After learning The Game, I became great at getting into relationships. But I never learned how to get out of them. As a result, I ended up spending as long trying to get out of some relationships as I actually spent in them. A few of these situations became ugly: I remember a cast member of The Pick-Up Artist driving me to an ex-girlfriend’s house who was drunk, had a gun in her hand, and was threatening to kill herself.
So, through trial and error—mostly error—I came to learn that there is one, and only one, way to break up. This doesn’t mean that there will be no tears and no pain, but it does guarantee there will be less than any other method. Step One Be Decisive: A lot of people are wishy-washy about ending a relationship. They think they want to break up, then as soon as there’s a little distance or drama or a bad date, they panic, worry that they made a mistake, and get back together again. This can drag on for months, sometimes years. So, first, make sure this is something you really want to do, that this really is the wrong person or relationship for you or that this person is psychologically incapable of having a healthy relationship.
Step One Be Decisive: A lot of people are wishy-washy about ending a relationship. They think they want to break up, then as soon as there’s a little distance or drama or a bad date, they panic, worry that they made a mistake, and get back together again. This can drag on for months, sometimes years. So, first, make sure this is something you really want to do, that this really is the wrong person or relationship for you or that this person is psychologically incapable of having a healthy relationship.
Step Two Communicate Directly and In Person: Next, sit down with them in person. I advise listing their good qualities first to them, not because you need to build up their self-esteem, but because they’re probably going to know what’s coming after you say the word “but” and this gives them a little time to prepare themselves emotionally. Even if it isn’t a shock to them—in fact, even if it’s something they want too–the human ego is such that being the person who breaks up is much easier than being the one broken up with. (At least initially, but more on that later.) Afterward, answer any and all questions as gently and honestly as possible. It’s okay if you shed some tears yourself in the process. This next point applies to a specific few of you, but, no, you are not allowed to have sex “one last time” after breaking up.
Step Three Give A Grace Period: Tell your now-ex that you can’t see each other after today, but you will be available by phone or text any time he or she wants to call, to ask questions, or even to yell at you for the next week or two weeks. If you are living with the person, then obviously you will have to also allow a week or two for you or them to move out or find a new place. If one of you can avoid the house during this process, this is preferable. Either way, in this period, don’t be an asshole and start going on dates. You’ve waited this long; you can wait another week or two.
Step Four End Communication: Explain also in your initial discussion that after the two-week grace period ends, then a no-contact rule will go into effect until you both have fully let go. Tell them that if they call or text after that, as hard as it’s going to be for you, you’re not going to respond so that you can allow yourself
and her to move on. Remember that every time you communicate with an ex in the throes of a breakup, it resets the clock on their (and often your) recovery time.
Step Five Stick To It: This is the most difficult part of the whole process. Often, even if you want them to leave, as soon as they actually move on—not just leave, but stop having strong feelings for you—most people experience the pain and separation anxiety of the loss. This is when many people get weak, start to obsess about the person they broke up with, and try to win them back. (Men tend to do this more than women—my pet theory is that it equates in the subconscious to the fear of losing one’s mother’s love as a child). Some people like to repeat the words of the Sting song in their head: “If you love someone, set them free"
In addition, not only are you not allowed to have direct communication at this stage, but passive contact is also forbidden. This means, no checking their Facebook and Twitter feeds or profiles. It’s always best that neither of you knows what the other is doing: don’t be an emotional masochist.
Step Six Be Aware of the Process: According to the Kubler-Ross model of grief, expect the person to go through the following stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. For most people, the bargaining phase is the most difficult to not give in to: often, the other person will invent some highly plausible pretext (something they left at your house, important work advice they need, etc.) to talk to you again. Stay steadfast, and if it’s something they absolutely need or can’t figure out without you, determine a way for them to get it that doesn’t involve either of you speaking or seeing each other.
Step Seven Move On: First of all, not everyone is capable or wants to be friends with their ex’s. But when is it right to get back in contact with an ex if you do want to be friends with them? There are different theories on this: some say when you’re both in a new relationship, others say it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them. But the right time is simply when you stop thinking about when the right time is to get in contact with them—and so do they. The right time is when neither of you has anything you need, want, or expect emotionally from the other person. Then, for the first time, when a real friendship develops, you can both honestly accept and express your responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship, rather than blaming the other person."
Additional related posts:
www.skilledseducer.com
Before you do make sure you are 100000000% sure you want to break up.... This is what happens to most players and why i am bringing this up:
- you got a girl she is investing as soon as she start withdrawing, cat string theory* kicks in, and the pair bonding withdrawals as well, then you sabotage the whole thing and try getting her back....
*The cat string theory is a seduction technique that suggests women act the same way as cats do with string. When a cat sees a string, it becomes obsessed with it, chasing it around the room and leaping in the air. However, when the string is just out of reach, the cat becomes less interested and will eventually lose interest if the string falls right in front of it.
- You think you will be single and get lots of pussy and then you go out and you go rejection after rejection after rejection and then you be like, wtf! i was better of with my girl.... And you get buyers remorse.
- You have a girl or 2 you are messing around, they like you cause you have a girl/girls or wife, so the dynamics and the drama and the sneakiness etc.... Translate into big pimp energy and the dynamics make you super less needy.... As soon as you break up you change dynamics those girls lose attraction.... Or when you get with those girls full time, you are like "wtf have i done" and you get buyers remorse....
- You have a girl you like you have not even fucked, and you believe if you dump your girls and fantasize you will be together with fantazy girl (onitis).... When you don't, then you run back to try to get your ex main back...
- you see friends or guys in forum or chat getting on a fuck streak, and you think "i can do what he does", then you realize "nope" i can't too much work or i am not as good as i thought i was or once was....
Different ways to break up:
Ghosting.- People started to tell me "horrible" "kj" but ghosting has his place, usually is easier with fuck buddies.... But it has its plays in some situations, were you caught a like, or cheating or double life.... Is some type of passive aggressive revenge way......
^ so how you do this, you just unfollow in social media, and stop replying and returning calls or messages....... Is unlikely many or any of you will do this, but i have done it mainly when i caught a betrayal or a lie or something shady as a punishment/revenge way....
Making it her idea.- This way, you start acting cold and distant...... little by little you start spending less and less time together and seeing each other.... This i learn from women, she start getting a hint that the break up is coming or about to come..... You stop putting any effort and then she breaks up with you..... But you actually manipulated the whole thing......
The talk.- Similar to the above you start acting distance and she start getting the hints, and she brings it up.... "you say i don't see a future together we should start seeing other people", problem with this is that a lot of women will start crying, or yelling at you, or throw shit etc.... depending on girl, sometimes the crying and vulnerability will make you "turn on" and they know how to use vulnerability and guilt to bring you back in.... So be aware of this.... Also, she can start with the drama that you may have another girl or cheating..... Here is by fastlife on the talk:
" just say you need to talk. Just make up some bullshit that lets her ego blame you—I.e. you realized you aren’t where you wanted to be in life and realized that it isn’t fair to her and she deserves better, etc. And stick to it"....
The move.- You can blame it on moving or about to move to another city, school, town etc... and as much as it pains you, you have to let her go, cause of the move...
Religion.- You can blame it on religious' differences and you want to find your way to God and you are not spiritually yolk....
Bait her to hit you.- you piss her off to the point that she hits you, and you blame it on her hitting you and there is no coming back...
Gay.- tell her you are gay.... (this one is weird one, but i swear i did it one time, but with a fuck buddy though)
The Romeo and Juliet way.- Blame it on your parents....
^ so some are more masculine ways, some are pussy ways, and some are scumbag ways...... But I have done, or have had girls done variations to me...Though the only girl that really broke up with me was my ex of 10 years tbh....
Finally, credit @Dreamer The Style/Neil Strauss from the game way:
"How To Break Up
Neil Strauss After learning The Game, I became great at getting into relationships. But I never learned how to get out of them. As a result, I ended up spending as long trying to get out of some relationships as I actually spent in them. A few of these situations became ugly: I remember a cast member of The Pick-Up Artist driving me to an ex-girlfriend’s house who was drunk, had a gun in her hand, and was threatening to kill herself.
So, through trial and error—mostly error—I came to learn that there is one, and only one, way to break up. This doesn’t mean that there will be no tears and no pain, but it does guarantee there will be less than any other method. Step One Be Decisive: A lot of people are wishy-washy about ending a relationship. They think they want to break up, then as soon as there’s a little distance or drama or a bad date, they panic, worry that they made a mistake, and get back together again. This can drag on for months, sometimes years. So, first, make sure this is something you really want to do, that this really is the wrong person or relationship for you or that this person is psychologically incapable of having a healthy relationship.
Step One Be Decisive: A lot of people are wishy-washy about ending a relationship. They think they want to break up, then as soon as there’s a little distance or drama or a bad date, they panic, worry that they made a mistake, and get back together again. This can drag on for months, sometimes years. So, first, make sure this is something you really want to do, that this really is the wrong person or relationship for you or that this person is psychologically incapable of having a healthy relationship.
Step Two Communicate Directly and In Person: Next, sit down with them in person. I advise listing their good qualities first to them, not because you need to build up their self-esteem, but because they’re probably going to know what’s coming after you say the word “but” and this gives them a little time to prepare themselves emotionally. Even if it isn’t a shock to them—in fact, even if it’s something they want too–the human ego is such that being the person who breaks up is much easier than being the one broken up with. (At least initially, but more on that later.) Afterward, answer any and all questions as gently and honestly as possible. It’s okay if you shed some tears yourself in the process. This next point applies to a specific few of you, but, no, you are not allowed to have sex “one last time” after breaking up.
Step Three Give A Grace Period: Tell your now-ex that you can’t see each other after today, but you will be available by phone or text any time he or she wants to call, to ask questions, or even to yell at you for the next week or two weeks. If you are living with the person, then obviously you will have to also allow a week or two for you or them to move out or find a new place. If one of you can avoid the house during this process, this is preferable. Either way, in this period, don’t be an asshole and start going on dates. You’ve waited this long; you can wait another week or two.
Step Four End Communication: Explain also in your initial discussion that after the two-week grace period ends, then a no-contact rule will go into effect until you both have fully let go. Tell them that if they call or text after that, as hard as it’s going to be for you, you’re not going to respond so that you can allow yourself
and her to move on. Remember that every time you communicate with an ex in the throes of a breakup, it resets the clock on their (and often your) recovery time.
Step Five Stick To It: This is the most difficult part of the whole process. Often, even if you want them to leave, as soon as they actually move on—not just leave, but stop having strong feelings for you—most people experience the pain and separation anxiety of the loss. This is when many people get weak, start to obsess about the person they broke up with, and try to win them back. (Men tend to do this more than women—my pet theory is that it equates in the subconscious to the fear of losing one’s mother’s love as a child). Some people like to repeat the words of the Sting song in their head: “If you love someone, set them free"
In addition, not only are you not allowed to have direct communication at this stage, but passive contact is also forbidden. This means, no checking their Facebook and Twitter feeds or profiles. It’s always best that neither of you knows what the other is doing: don’t be an emotional masochist.
Step Six Be Aware of the Process: According to the Kubler-Ross model of grief, expect the person to go through the following stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. For most people, the bargaining phase is the most difficult to not give in to: often, the other person will invent some highly plausible pretext (something they left at your house, important work advice they need, etc.) to talk to you again. Stay steadfast, and if it’s something they absolutely need or can’t figure out without you, determine a way for them to get it that doesn’t involve either of you speaking or seeing each other.
Step Seven Move On: First of all, not everyone is capable or wants to be friends with their ex’s. But when is it right to get back in contact with an ex if you do want to be friends with them? There are different theories on this: some say when you’re both in a new relationship, others say it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them. But the right time is simply when you stop thinking about when the right time is to get in contact with them—and so do they. The right time is when neither of you has anything you need, want, or expect emotionally from the other person. Then, for the first time, when a real friendship develops, you can both honestly accept and express your responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship, rather than blaming the other person."
Additional related posts:
Break Ups - Break up dynamics for secret society members (seducers, women, gays)
Most break up posts, blogs, videos are mainly accurate but from a normal person view, not from a secret society (specially seducer/player) perspective. What is the difference you may ask? A secret society member is able to access sexual partners fairly quick and usually do not get onitis...
www.skilledseducer.com
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