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The Effect of Pornography On Our Expectations

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
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I've read that studies on porn suggest that we as men start to expect women to be unrealistically beautiful. Mainly because girls in porn often look more sexually appealing due to external factors (lighting, unrealistically good makeup, actually being naked, orgasmic/seductive facial expressions which women wouldn't make in the real world (outside of sex)...and so fourth. Thoughts on this?
 

Lotus

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I think pornography makes us self-conscious about our abilities in the sack, which is why so many guys probably have performance anxiety. The unrealistic expectations they create definitely have an effect.

But on looks and make up its no different then regular TV and Movies. Yes it creates unrealistic expectations of beauty.

If you want to bring things back to earth search "female agent". The average guy has no clue how to fuck. it's almost laughable how bad some of those guys are and shows how quickly you can put yourself above most of the population.

What do you mean by actually being naked?

-Lotus
 

Mr.Rob

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Lotus said:
What do you mean by actually being naked?

Haha as opposed to theoretically naked?

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People say all the time how unrealistic porn is on your expectations. I think that is absolute garbage!

I have had plenty of sexual encounters that if video taped would've looked just a "hardcore" as your typical porno. I think most dudes suck in bed and cannot inspire womens sexual side to erupt out of them.

There's no reason you can't fuck a girl like a porno.

The only thing that is not realistic in porn is that the girls are very aggressive in making moves on the man.

Fuck it I say watch porn to get that expectation and let it become a self fulfilling prophecy given that you can lead and inspire a woman to act in such a way.

Though be wary of the negative addicting effects that porn has as a consequence. But most importantly do what is best for you and your values.
 

Howell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Porn plays a normalizing role in bourgeois sexuality. What you watch on the screen you assume is how human sexuality generally is. Porn is generally made, even amateur porn, so that it's visually stimulating. So people who watch porn passively strongly emphasize the visual in their sex lives, which usually equates a ham-handed approach to sex. The taboo aspects of sex are also highly emphasized, as porn is often marketed for shock value. This makes people get desensitized and have to do more and more things they think are "taboo", which are actually inherent transgressions -- i.e., part and parcel with "plain jane" sex. E.g. They learn not to say "was that good for you?", but fail to understand the real reason that asking such a thing undermines the experience.

99% of porn is not very skillful sex IMO, even if it's visually exciting. There is camera work and decent directing, but it's more about the visual stimulation for the audience, not for the actual pleasure of the people involved, which makes it inherently misleading and extremely self-conscious. The actors and amateurs want to conform to the normative sexuality, so this becomes how people have sex -- self-consciously. "Dirty" sex is fun, but emotionless dirty sex is disgusting, IMO.

I think if more people started treating porn more clearly (especially the producers of it) -- as often entertaining sexual education -- a lot of relationship problems would disappear. Idyllic visions aside, right now there are some tantra teachers online who make ars erotica type videos that blow all the pseudo-scientific sex advice (i.e., most or all the advice most people encounter) I've ever read out of the water.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Bboy100

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What do you mean by actually being naked?
Well in the real world, girls aren't running around naked. Whereas in porn, they are. This makes even the average jane look far more attractive. If a girl in porn has an even "ok" body, she'll look much more attractive than she would with clothes on. In fact, if you ignore a women in porn's body and just look at her face, you'll notice that she's usually not all that cute to begin with. She's usually "ok looking" at best.

In general, I was actually asking this question as it relates to our standards for the physical appearence of women IRL. In other words, does porn have an effect of setting an unrealistic standard for how good looking we expect the women we pursue and have relationships with to be?
 

Lotus

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Well in the real world, girls aren't running around naked. Whereas in porn, they are. This makes even the average jane look far more attractive. If a girl in porn has an even "ok" body, she'll look much more attractive than she would with clothes on. In fact, if you ignore a women in porn's body and just look at her face, you'll notice that she's usually not all that cute to begin with. She's usually "ok looking" at best.

That is all based on the opinion of whether face is more important to you then body. If a girl looks good with cloths on but doesn't naked is she still hot?

But for your question.... average men, yes the expectations that are set are unrealistic and I think that's part of what Howell is getting at in regards to relationships. You have to be honest with yourself

We are not striving to be average though are we :)

The point of being here is to work to get high quality girls(body and mind). But again you have to be realistic to where you are at right now and work your way up. It sounds like this is coming from a place of self-doubt?

-Lotus
 
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