- Joined
- Sep 16, 2013
- Messages
- 154
Hey guys, I need some advise about the fine line between being a man/going after what you want....and chasing after women.
Any words of wisdom are appreciated, as well as links to articles specifically talking about this, because I'm really having a problem knowing if i should act, or just move on.
That's my question, but in context it's about this girl. I have a lot of history with her, but what pretty much happened is that she dated 2 of my good friends, and is now single. There's really a lot to this, but I've let her know a little while back, that I was interested. Once in front of her bf, my good friend, and the other time after they kind of broke apart. I ended up making a really stupid stupid mistake, and drove her to his house to give him his clothes (after my friendship with him hit the fan (he stole my car and crashed it)). Once I realized what I did, I felt really stupid and just left her there, cuz it seemed like that's what she wanted (she said she just wanted to throw his clothes on his lawn, but I saw them talking and said fuck it).
Aaaanyways, that was last winter. I saw her at a community bar last night, along with a friend I was meeting up with, and a bunch of her (protective) friends. She seemed into me, but then again alot of ppl were. I kind of pushed her away later into the night (after I've been drinking), saying something along the lines of "I hope you find who or what your looking for" and after that seemed kinda aloof. No doubt.
The thing is, I've put myself out there many times for her, and she didn't want me. Now, I'm really busy and I'm done with BS. I'm willing to accept that all my come ons were too weak, and I've been making some mistakes, but I know this girl, I remember why I wanted her way the fuck back years and years ago. There's this distinct line of thought in my head saying, "she had her shot, she missed it, but i'll still fuck her" but I think maybe I'm the one that missed me shot, back last winter, and once again last night. I don't think shes feeling right. She really wants a guy who knows what he's doing, and both my 2 friends are a couple of fuck-nuggets.
I'm willing to, and I WANT to, take another shot, this time, a 100% real shot, at reconnecting with her on a real level, getting intimate, and if (after years of wondering) we're compatible, get in a relationship with her. BUT...as stated in my opening sentence, I don't want to come on like I'm needy/clingy/weak/chasing after her. Plus, I don't know how I'd even get to a one on one with her, because for one, I don't have her number, and two, her friends are really protective.
She was going to give me her number at bakers dozen after the bar, but failed to. I don't know if that's because she wanted me to come home with her, or if it was because she was drunk and forgot, or if it was a sly hint that she didn't want me...come to think of it I don't even remember how her phone number even came up.
I was going out just to have fun, but after seeing this girl again and knowing shes single, its really gotten me thinking...
That's pretty much all that I can think of that may be important and relevant. I think part of my problem is not knowing how much effort a girl can put into an interaction, while still being socially acceptable, and not looking like a slut..if this even makes sense.
Thanks
Any words of wisdom are appreciated, as well as links to articles specifically talking about this, because I'm really having a problem knowing if i should act, or just move on.
That's my question, but in context it's about this girl. I have a lot of history with her, but what pretty much happened is that she dated 2 of my good friends, and is now single. There's really a lot to this, but I've let her know a little while back, that I was interested. Once in front of her bf, my good friend, and the other time after they kind of broke apart. I ended up making a really stupid stupid mistake, and drove her to his house to give him his clothes (after my friendship with him hit the fan (he stole my car and crashed it)). Once I realized what I did, I felt really stupid and just left her there, cuz it seemed like that's what she wanted (she said she just wanted to throw his clothes on his lawn, but I saw them talking and said fuck it).
Aaaanyways, that was last winter. I saw her at a community bar last night, along with a friend I was meeting up with, and a bunch of her (protective) friends. She seemed into me, but then again alot of ppl were. I kind of pushed her away later into the night (after I've been drinking), saying something along the lines of "I hope you find who or what your looking for" and after that seemed kinda aloof. No doubt.
The thing is, I've put myself out there many times for her, and she didn't want me. Now, I'm really busy and I'm done with BS. I'm willing to accept that all my come ons were too weak, and I've been making some mistakes, but I know this girl, I remember why I wanted her way the fuck back years and years ago. There's this distinct line of thought in my head saying, "she had her shot, she missed it, but i'll still fuck her" but I think maybe I'm the one that missed me shot, back last winter, and once again last night. I don't think shes feeling right. She really wants a guy who knows what he's doing, and both my 2 friends are a couple of fuck-nuggets.
I'm willing to, and I WANT to, take another shot, this time, a 100% real shot, at reconnecting with her on a real level, getting intimate, and if (after years of wondering) we're compatible, get in a relationship with her. BUT...as stated in my opening sentence, I don't want to come on like I'm needy/clingy/weak/chasing after her. Plus, I don't know how I'd even get to a one on one with her, because for one, I don't have her number, and two, her friends are really protective.
She was going to give me her number at bakers dozen after the bar, but failed to. I don't know if that's because she wanted me to come home with her, or if it was because she was drunk and forgot, or if it was a sly hint that she didn't want me...come to think of it I don't even remember how her phone number even came up.
I was going out just to have fun, but after seeing this girl again and knowing shes single, its really gotten me thinking...
That's pretty much all that I can think of that may be important and relevant. I think part of my problem is not knowing how much effort a girl can put into an interaction, while still being socially acceptable, and not looking like a slut..if this even makes sense.
Thanks
