Note: This is a personal perspective on game, abundance, and approach to things in general. It is written heavily in first person and if you find that that may be a bother you now have the opportunity to decide whether or not you wish to read this further. Furthermore, while this is a personal perspective, please relate your experiences from your life, regardless of whether they agree with my method of thinking. All contribution is appreciated.
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Lately I've been wondering and thinking a lot about game and all the times I, my friends, and others have been stuck in friends zones, about fears of rejections, and about the feelings of hopelessness, depression, and bitterness that profoundly undermine future efforts causing downward spirals in countless people attempting to make a better life for themselves.
Having lived through plenty of pain and heartbreak myself, and having struggled to transcend it countless times only to be submerged again in personal insecurities the next time a girl I cared about didn't want to have anything to do with me, I realized that I was becoming quite desensitized to the pain to the point where I was becoming a socially insensitive, cynical, and partially sociopathic, narcissist. It greatly bothered me because I was turning into somebody I did not want to be and I refused to let that become my identity. I resolved to go through the pain but rather than be consumed, or destroyed by it, I began thinking of myself as clay becoming stronger while going through the furnace and in a way it worked. I still feel sympathy, empathy, compassion, and, yes, pain but strong emotions no longer control or possess me like they have before. They still influence me but I no longer feel a slave to them. I may do very nice things to women for example knowing that it may damage attraction but it doesn't bother me if I genuinely feel that it's the right thing to do. Even though I care about the girl, in my mind I feel that I can afford to lose her - even I don't have a replacement girl for a "pick-me up" so to speak. On the flip-side I can also be a total douche for mutual shits and giggles but always maintain the subtext of care and protection which many girls find super attractive. Again, if it's too much for her and she doesn't feel it, I KNOW I will be ok regardless of what she does. From that perspective I can afford the flexibility of being either nice or douche without the need of being either one as a gimmick to get somewhere with a girl that's not feeling me for who I am at the moment.
After turning and playing with all the personal dynamics within my head I spontaneously came up with a short poem, of all things, that essentially simplifies all my personal perspectives into a several lines. Here it is.
If you think about it, this applies to almost everything in life andI hope this post helps explain the ultimate (in my humble opinion) abundance mentality a little bit. It won't directly help you get girls, it wont fix your mistakes, it is not easy to get, but this mentality gives you freedom of thought and freedom of action. Further, it fights off the dark spiral of doom so to speak. In a bad situation, you admit it sucks, but on the other hand your head will be clear to make and execute plans of action as opposed to wallowing in emotional hell. When things go well, you will enjoy the benefits of the situation all the same but you wont be consumed by the pleasure and should it vanish, it won't destroy you (Read this, it explains why even suspecting/expecting a good thing to turn bad is actually good for your game Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns). Having experienced it several times (it's just as possible to lose any perspective as it it ito gain it), I say with the utmost certainty that for me, the effort and the trouble to get it is absolutely worth the reward and when I think along these lines I have the best game and I am closest to the stable and grounded and yet adaptable badass personality I want to build for myself.
If this was a little vague I apologize. Nevertheless, I hope it helps at least some people out there.
_______________________________________
Lately I've been wondering and thinking a lot about game and all the times I, my friends, and others have been stuck in friends zones, about fears of rejections, and about the feelings of hopelessness, depression, and bitterness that profoundly undermine future efforts causing downward spirals in countless people attempting to make a better life for themselves.
Having lived through plenty of pain and heartbreak myself, and having struggled to transcend it countless times only to be submerged again in personal insecurities the next time a girl I cared about didn't want to have anything to do with me, I realized that I was becoming quite desensitized to the pain to the point where I was becoming a socially insensitive, cynical, and partially sociopathic, narcissist. It greatly bothered me because I was turning into somebody I did not want to be and I refused to let that become my identity. I resolved to go through the pain but rather than be consumed, or destroyed by it, I began thinking of myself as clay becoming stronger while going through the furnace and in a way it worked. I still feel sympathy, empathy, compassion, and, yes, pain but strong emotions no longer control or possess me like they have before. They still influence me but I no longer feel a slave to them. I may do very nice things to women for example knowing that it may damage attraction but it doesn't bother me if I genuinely feel that it's the right thing to do. Even though I care about the girl, in my mind I feel that I can afford to lose her - even I don't have a replacement girl for a "pick-me up" so to speak. On the flip-side I can also be a total douche for mutual shits and giggles but always maintain the subtext of care and protection which many girls find super attractive. Again, if it's too much for her and she doesn't feel it, I KNOW I will be ok regardless of what she does. From that perspective I can afford the flexibility of being either nice or douche without the need of being either one as a gimmick to get somewhere with a girl that's not feeling me for who I am at the moment.
After turning and playing with all the personal dynamics within my head I spontaneously came up with a short poem, of all things, that essentially simplifies all my personal perspectives into a several lines. Here it is.
If you think about it, this applies to almost everything in life andI hope this post helps explain the ultimate (in my humble opinion) abundance mentality a little bit. It won't directly help you get girls, it wont fix your mistakes, it is not easy to get, but this mentality gives you freedom of thought and freedom of action. Further, it fights off the dark spiral of doom so to speak. In a bad situation, you admit it sucks, but on the other hand your head will be clear to make and execute plans of action as opposed to wallowing in emotional hell. When things go well, you will enjoy the benefits of the situation all the same but you wont be consumed by the pleasure and should it vanish, it won't destroy you (Read this, it explains why even suspecting/expecting a good thing to turn bad is actually good for your game Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns). Having experienced it several times (it's just as possible to lose any perspective as it it ito gain it), I say with the utmost certainty that for me, the effort and the trouble to get it is absolutely worth the reward and when I think along these lines I have the best game and I am closest to the stable and grounded and yet adaptable badass personality I want to build for myself.
If this was a little vague I apologize. Nevertheless, I hope it helps at least some people out there.
