The Generalist

[Zoro]

In one of his posts, ray_zorse briefly mentioned something like, "chase's style is geared towards being a generalist..." This got me thinking... I'd like to explore the idea of being a "generalist" or a man that can get along well with pretty much any type of women or at least a broad range. Pretty sure what GC teaches is just that, but something hasn't clicked. I seem to vibe better with a certain type of girl (artsy, nature lover, closet nerd) and that means a smaller pool of pussy to swim in than I'd like.

This weekend I met a girl whom I had excellent chemistry with, and then ended up getting intimate with her the same night.
Contrast that with a girl a few weekends ago whom I got a number from and then set up a date with the next day (who was also excited to meet up), only to have only platonic conversation with and then both part ways disappointed.

Pretty sure both girls were physically attracted to me and liked that I was bold enough to ask them out and lead the interaction.

There wasn't too much flirting with the girl this weekend, but we vibed on the topic of spirituality which I have explored a lot which perhaps was very valuable in her eyes.

The other girl, well I don't think we had much in common other than we were attracted to each other physically.

I think there are many ways to milk this cat. There's also a lot of nuances during both interactions beside strictly value that matter. (I think if I were at the park at night with with the girl I didn't get intimate with, things would have gotten hot :} )

Buuuuuut, in terms of value, is being sexy, socially aware and able to lead a girl to intimacy the way to being a generalist?

Some girls I just do not vibe with, but am attracted to physically... Seems like I should work on my sexual vibe. And I'm sure if I understood more about them we could also vibe well in other ways which I'd like to learn to do. What do you think?

I feel a strange feeling that the answer lies in the advice given in Blonde Bombshell thread (Be the man through and through they desire), or in The Guide To Geting Hot Girls (Of Any Type) thread.

 

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on how "niche" and sub-group-ey you want to get. I remember reading in one of Chase's articles about how to connect with different types of people, and the key thing to remember is that, you're never going to be the same or alike as any other person, but it's about highlighting certain aspects of your self and obscuring others.

For instance, I've dated a wide range of women, some with eclectic interests, of different cultures (white-American,black/African American, Central American, South American, South East Asian, Middle Eastern, South Asian), and I've purposefully downplayed parts of my personality and aspects of my self and played up others.

Part of being able to appeal to a broader group of women comes from having lots of experiences with different types of women under your belt, and I think a very important criteria is having interest in different cultures, appreciation for other languages, for different subgroups, understanding of their world view, their personal experiences. It requires a high level of empathy and emotional intelligence to calibrate to the different and unique experience of each woman.

I see how patterns and types are involved most frequently with my friends, as they consistently attract a certain type of women. My black friends are most comfortable with... not surprisingly, other black women with similar cultural interests and Latina women with strong interest in African/Afro-American culture. They aren't doing anything special, they're just being themselves, being what they're familiar with and what they know, so they attract women who are into that. They have the worst time attracting women outside of that.

When they do attract the odd Asian/White/Indian/etc. chick, it's because that girl specifically has a strong interest in hiphop/black culture/black guys because of stereotypes... not because they were able to relate to her in a different way.

Because they make no attempt to connect or empathize with women outside their immediate cultural and personal experiences, they don't know how to relate to other types of women.

 

[ray_zorse]

It is like the bombshells thread, yes, you have to get to know them, how they think, how they spend their time etc... for instance I am pretty specialized to international students here in Melbourne who happen to be Asian... simply because half the population in my district is that, and they fit the demographic and the physical traits and personality traits and fashion etc that I am attracted to. Although I am also a postgrad student (which helps), I'm obviously not Asian, nor am I an international student, but I have spoken to enough that I have a pretty good idea what their concerns and worries are, family and cultural background, I can ask intelligent questions about the life they lead/have lead in China or other places, can speak a bit of the language etc... I can also cold read their nationality, age, educational background to a high degree of accuracy, including in some cases what part of China they're from and so on. I only realize just how specialized I am, when an oddball case comes up that throws my connecting/relating system out of whack, such as a girl who looks Asian but is born in Aussie, or a girl who works in an icecream shop and is Chinese but not a student, etc... although every encounter increases my range so to speak. To be a generalist you have to be able to categorize your girls and to have a system for connecting and relating to each type of girl. Chase describes wanting to get better with model / actress types, and hence taking acting classes and even auditioning and getting a minor walk-on part in a movie (I'd like to see that movie). Now when he chats with models he's completely at ease due to the shared experience, although I'm sure he can relate to them in other ways as well.
Ray

 

[Zoro]

Thanks for the replies guys,

I think you both cleared it up well for me.

It seems like the girls I do well with I have A LOT of knowledge in subjects of their interest, struggles they face, hopes and desires, etc.

And the rest of the girls I kind of just look at and say okay, just a normal girl. She's got average problems, and a simple life. In my mind I thought I had them all figured out, but that is very far from the case. I need to take another look and really try to understand them and maybe even dabble into relevant activities if I want to do well with other types of girls.

Are there any types of girls you want to do well with, but struggling?

 

[Lotus]

This is a pretty interesting topic and it definitely relates to the blonde bombshell topic. A major part of the game is highlighting your aspects that the girls you want to attract find interesting.... showing them what they want to see. Being able to attract girls of any type is having the ability to turn "women are like water" on its head. Instead of her displaying what she wants you to see you display what you want her to see.

I think in the past couple years I have unconsciously headed in the same direction J Wick. I used to be able to relate much better to those "normal" girls with "normal" problems. As my interests changed so did the girls I naturally attracted, but it's not a bad thing at all. I'm sure physically...attraction is still there but without the same connection.

It seems like the girls I do well with I have A LOT of knowledge in subjects of their interest, struggles they face, hopes and desires, etc.

which is how you operate yourself right? The girls you do well with enjoy the same things you do. The rest of the girls just don't interest you...... yet. Or maybe they never will because they don't place a high value in dreams and aspirations which you do.

At the same time all girls are interesting because they don't tick like us... They all tick slightly differently so discovering what makes them tick can be fun in itself whether you have the same interests or not.

 

[Zoro]

This is a pretty interesting topic and it definitely relates to the blonde bombshell topic. A major part of the game is highlighting your aspects that the girls you want to attract find interesting.... showing them what they want to see. Being able to attract girls of any type is having the ability to turn "women are like water" on its head. Instead of her displaying what she wants you to see you display what you want her to see.

Bingo Bango.

But I am looking for a good universal style that appeals to the feminine being in general. Right now I'm tightening up my fundamentals, maintaining attainability and building a life I enjoy (living an interesting life, mysterious, high value, etc.) and that seems pretty close to the Generalist idea I'm poking at. A couple interests/topics that I enjoy that most women eat up are astrology, nature, fashion, music, dating, dance and of course, sex. Make sure to maintain your masculinity when diving into those subjects, most of those are feminine.

which is how you operate yourself right? The girls you do well with enjoy the same things you do. The rest of the girls just don't interest you...... yet. Or maybe they never will because they don't place a high value in dreams and aspirations which you do.

Yeah. They interest me, in a curious about them/want to experience them way. But you're right I'm not interested in them like I am the other girls.

I think I am still at a level of experience where I have a lot to learn, even the girls I get along well with I tend to learn a lot when I interact with them. I really need to finalize this move! Still stuck in suburbia.

At the same time all girls are interesting because they don't tick like us... They all tick slightly differently so discovering what makes them tick can be fun in itself whether you have the same interests or not.

Yup, its like a new flavor of feminine I want to taste.

What is the type of girl you vibe well with? And what does your interaction look like?

I think thats a good question to flesh out specific things different types of girls like.

 

[Lotus]

What is the type of girl you vibe well with? And what does your interaction look like?

I think thats a good question to flesh out specific things different types of girls like.

Short story

Well the interesting thing is I grew up very socially adept, but at the same time I was a closet nerd( back then I didn't want people to know I played video games and read books). Publicly I conformed so I could have plenty of friends. I was the definition of Mr. Nice guy, but as a result I learned to relate and get along with pretty much anyone I chose to..... unconsciously. I just wanted to be friends with everyone. Back to your question I don't believe there are many girls I can't vibe with.... but my value system has changed. I used to spend my time with the "bombshell" type girls(personality wise) AKA the girls that conform.

Now I tend to enjoy my time with the girls on the opposite end of the spectrum... girls that don't change themselves to be part of the in crowd or who never fit to the in crowd.

My interactions though don't really have a set pattern or standard they go by it 100 percent depends upon the girl. Whatever I can get her talking about and then just relate. I live by the motto of getting her talking as much as possible. My best results have come when I start low energy and then build up from there.

How do you like to run things?

 

[Zoro]

Lotus,

Thinking about it, I actually do something similar. But its totally on autopilot and unrefined. Even though I'm aware of their different personalities and switch it up a bit, I think I still tend to try and interact with them all in a similar way (playful/teasing/laidback).

Perhaps if I am more conscious of this, I can work on it and refine it.

Definitely seems like most of my issues are just lack of experience!