- Joined
- Jul 18, 2023
- Messages
- 28
Hi folks!
This post is part of my "8 week recap" in my newbie journal. I am going thru all the dates from online dating of the past 8 weeks to document them, see what I can learn from them, and move on so that I can gain skills in what I aim to be doing more of: day & night game.
People
Me: 5'10" European guy, long brown hair, attractive in the face, skinny, dressed in olive chinos, and black and white floral shirt, plus faux leather jacket, black sneakers.
Her: Ginger, Long wavy natural ginger hair, blue eyes with plain face, heavier girl, large breasts, red dress with big neckline, Doc Martens.
We matched on Tinder. She has "short term relationship" as her stated goal. We talk about our common interest in theater.
Dates
Date 1: Quick drink in the park
Date 2: Going to an outdoor theater show
Date 3: Kissing under stars + the big tease
Date 4: Picnic and back to hers
Date 1 (under 2 hours)
Friday. She suggests meeting her before or after meeting a friend. She says she'll "probably be drunk" after the friend. I go for before! This turns out to have been total bullshit, she was going to work at a festival as a staff member, and was not allowed to drink in that context.
We meet up at a bus stop, take the bus up to the park, find a spot and get talking over beers. I make sure our legs touch, and I regularly use quick touch throughout our convo. I get lots of info from her, she seems like a fun person and we have lots of creative interests in common.
We then walk back most of the way to my place, it happens that she is actually working at a festival as a volunteer and it's going on right next to my place. I suggest we meet up after she's done with her shift. She says why not - let's keep in touch. We hug and part ways.
I go to a different festival and have a lovely time - she doesn't text back until the following day.
Date 2: Theatre show
Monday. We go see some outdoor theatre show. I get a drink but she's staying sober for medical reasons this week. She knows absolutely everyone here, the actors, the light crew, bar staff.. this is her territory. We are even sitting next to a friend of hers that is also on a date.
During the comedy show we are having fun, and I put my hand on her leg quite a lot of the time, especially in a funny moment. As the night goes on she also puts her hand on my shoulder, arm, caressed my leg.
After the show, she offers to get me a drink. Nice! Show is over, getting dark. We sit down on some empty "bleacher" area. I was going to escalate, BUT then a friend of hers that was doing the sound/lights comes up and sits with us. Great! So we banter and I make them laugh.. tell a couple funny stories which made the mood pretty good.
We end up going back into the center of town, where we both live. We take the bus and BOOM, three more people that know her. So we get caught up into another conversation the whole ride over.
We get off the bus. We are both hungry. I offer to go back to my place and cook us some food. Or even cook at hers. She prefers getting fast-food - so I accept. I get us to a cute little spot without traffic or noise, where we can eat it together. We sit at a table. She moves at the last moment and sits across from me, even though the bench was plenty wide for both of us. (NOTE to self - I could have asked her to come sit with me.. keep us touching by the legs.)
We keep talking.. things seem to be going well.. then one of MY friends come by on his bike and talks to us for a bit... WHEN will the interruptions end?
It's getting late, probably midnight on a Monday. I suggest going back to her place. "I'm really tired and I need to get up early tomorrow morning. I want to go home, smoke up and eat these leftover chicken nuggets". That last part kinda turned me off lol... I just said "OK". That felt kinda weak, like I didn't even try to push through.
She asked me to accompany her to the bus stop as it was dark and the area not well lit. I did so, we sat for a minute waiting for the bus.. and once again, hugged her goodbye.
Date 3: Under the stars
Saturday. I was at a picnic by the beach. She was also at a picnic by the beach. Just a few meters away! We were in our own friend groups. We waited until it got dark.
We texted a location very close, a stone walkway leading into the water. I met up with her, a shape in the dark.
She was drunk. She seemed a bit embarrassed about it (I was pretty sober). We talked a bit, she went raving about her love for dogs. We could see the stars clearly above us. We both walked further down the stones, until it got very jagged and uneven. She kept on going! and kept on climbing and clambering around to the end of the wave breaking rocks. I caught up to her, grabbed her, and we made out for a while. I nearly lost my balance! We were a thread away from falling into the water haha
We decide it's time to get going back to her place. She goes to say goodbye to her friends, and get her bag. I go to get my backpack.
She calls me a few minutes later... her friend missed the last bus home. He has to crash at her place. "I'm sorry to pull this on you. I know it's rude. Can we see each other tomorrow?"
GOD DAMN the bait the switch. I never wanted to invest this much time into a lay with someone I'm juuuust attracted to. But Funkus has needs.
Date 4: Picnic and doing the deed
Sunday. We meet up in the afternoon. She thought she was running late (she wasn't) and had actually run up the hill to the park. She was clearly feeling the guilt!
She was hungover. She brought food she'd made for us. We enjoy the picnic and go back to hers. She gives me the tour, makes us some tea and then we lie down on her bed... and have sex! It was great... really some of the best I'd had in months.. best since my last relationship. She was just non-stop on the BJ, and the passion was there from both of us.
What I found funny was that I was really into the promise of her shapely bum, it seemed great when she had clothes on. But when the time came to bend her over, it has vanished into her thighs! I had to chuckle a bit - at least the breasts delivered!
After sex
I asked her if I could stay the night, and she preferred that I leave so she could get a very early start the next day. So I don't even get a second round in.. too bad.
She texts me a few days later saying she's started seeing someone more seriously, and would only see me again in a "friendly context". So.. once again, I am the one getting tooted and booted!!
Learning/Sticking points
--LMR on Date 2 seems to have been critical here. My instincts is to simply capitulate to LMR, I don't even think about pushing through. I think if I had pushed It might have been possible to go back with her. The "im tried + getting up early" seems to be something I could counter by saying "me too, we don't have to spend long, let's just get a cup of tea together as a night cap"... something like that?
-- Monday night is not the best moment for a date - KEEP TIME IN MIND. Why did we get a drink and chill at the theatre away from the theatre? It was HER idea.. that shows me that sometimes to stay on track you need to LEAD and move things forward. I could have gained a solid hour or more which would have been spent with HER and not with the friends of hers that were all around the venue.
-- Date 3 shows that...Logistics can just FUCK up and there's nothing you can do
This post is part of my "8 week recap" in my newbie journal. I am going thru all the dates from online dating of the past 8 weeks to document them, see what I can learn from them, and move on so that I can gain skills in what I aim to be doing more of: day & night game.
People
Me: 5'10" European guy, long brown hair, attractive in the face, skinny, dressed in olive chinos, and black and white floral shirt, plus faux leather jacket, black sneakers.
Her: Ginger, Long wavy natural ginger hair, blue eyes with plain face, heavier girl, large breasts, red dress with big neckline, Doc Martens.
We matched on Tinder. She has "short term relationship" as her stated goal. We talk about our common interest in theater.
Dates
Date 1: Quick drink in the park
Date 2: Going to an outdoor theater show
Date 3: Kissing under stars + the big tease
Date 4: Picnic and back to hers
Date 1 (under 2 hours)
Friday. She suggests meeting her before or after meeting a friend. She says she'll "probably be drunk" after the friend. I go for before! This turns out to have been total bullshit, she was going to work at a festival as a staff member, and was not allowed to drink in that context.
We meet up at a bus stop, take the bus up to the park, find a spot and get talking over beers. I make sure our legs touch, and I regularly use quick touch throughout our convo. I get lots of info from her, she seems like a fun person and we have lots of creative interests in common.
We then walk back most of the way to my place, it happens that she is actually working at a festival as a volunteer and it's going on right next to my place. I suggest we meet up after she's done with her shift. She says why not - let's keep in touch. We hug and part ways.
I go to a different festival and have a lovely time - she doesn't text back until the following day.
Date 2: Theatre show
Monday. We go see some outdoor theatre show. I get a drink but she's staying sober for medical reasons this week. She knows absolutely everyone here, the actors, the light crew, bar staff.. this is her territory. We are even sitting next to a friend of hers that is also on a date.
During the comedy show we are having fun, and I put my hand on her leg quite a lot of the time, especially in a funny moment. As the night goes on she also puts her hand on my shoulder, arm, caressed my leg.
After the show, she offers to get me a drink. Nice! Show is over, getting dark. We sit down on some empty "bleacher" area. I was going to escalate, BUT then a friend of hers that was doing the sound/lights comes up and sits with us. Great! So we banter and I make them laugh.. tell a couple funny stories which made the mood pretty good.
We end up going back into the center of town, where we both live. We take the bus and BOOM, three more people that know her. So we get caught up into another conversation the whole ride over.
We get off the bus. We are both hungry. I offer to go back to my place and cook us some food. Or even cook at hers. She prefers getting fast-food - so I accept. I get us to a cute little spot without traffic or noise, where we can eat it together. We sit at a table. She moves at the last moment and sits across from me, even though the bench was plenty wide for both of us. (NOTE to self - I could have asked her to come sit with me.. keep us touching by the legs.)
We keep talking.. things seem to be going well.. then one of MY friends come by on his bike and talks to us for a bit... WHEN will the interruptions end?
It's getting late, probably midnight on a Monday. I suggest going back to her place. "I'm really tired and I need to get up early tomorrow morning. I want to go home, smoke up and eat these leftover chicken nuggets". That last part kinda turned me off lol... I just said "OK". That felt kinda weak, like I didn't even try to push through.
She asked me to accompany her to the bus stop as it was dark and the area not well lit. I did so, we sat for a minute waiting for the bus.. and once again, hugged her goodbye.
Date 3: Under the stars
Saturday. I was at a picnic by the beach. She was also at a picnic by the beach. Just a few meters away! We were in our own friend groups. We waited until it got dark.
We texted a location very close, a stone walkway leading into the water. I met up with her, a shape in the dark.
She was drunk. She seemed a bit embarrassed about it (I was pretty sober). We talked a bit, she went raving about her love for dogs. We could see the stars clearly above us. We both walked further down the stones, until it got very jagged and uneven. She kept on going! and kept on climbing and clambering around to the end of the wave breaking rocks. I caught up to her, grabbed her, and we made out for a while. I nearly lost my balance! We were a thread away from falling into the water haha
We decide it's time to get going back to her place. She goes to say goodbye to her friends, and get her bag. I go to get my backpack.
She calls me a few minutes later... her friend missed the last bus home. He has to crash at her place. "I'm sorry to pull this on you. I know it's rude. Can we see each other tomorrow?"
GOD DAMN the bait the switch. I never wanted to invest this much time into a lay with someone I'm juuuust attracted to. But Funkus has needs.
Date 4: Picnic and doing the deed
Sunday. We meet up in the afternoon. She thought she was running late (she wasn't) and had actually run up the hill to the park. She was clearly feeling the guilt!
She was hungover. She brought food she'd made for us. We enjoy the picnic and go back to hers. She gives me the tour, makes us some tea and then we lie down on her bed... and have sex! It was great... really some of the best I'd had in months.. best since my last relationship. She was just non-stop on the BJ, and the passion was there from both of us.
What I found funny was that I was really into the promise of her shapely bum, it seemed great when she had clothes on. But when the time came to bend her over, it has vanished into her thighs! I had to chuckle a bit - at least the breasts delivered!
After sex
I asked her if I could stay the night, and she preferred that I leave so she could get a very early start the next day. So I don't even get a second round in.. too bad.
She texts me a few days later saying she's started seeing someone more seriously, and would only see me again in a "friendly context". So.. once again, I am the one getting tooted and booted!!
Learning/Sticking points
--LMR on Date 2 seems to have been critical here. My instincts is to simply capitulate to LMR, I don't even think about pushing through. I think if I had pushed It might have been possible to go back with her. The "im tried + getting up early" seems to be something I could counter by saying "me too, we don't have to spend long, let's just get a cup of tea together as a night cap"... something like that?
-- Monday night is not the best moment for a date - KEEP TIME IN MIND. Why did we get a drink and chill at the theatre away from the theatre? It was HER idea.. that shows me that sometimes to stay on track you need to LEAD and move things forward. I could have gained a solid hour or more which would have been spent with HER and not with the friends of hers that were all around the venue.
-- Date 3 shows that...Logistics can just FUCK up and there's nothing you can do