The "Instant Date"—can we pick this apart and see how it works?

[Marty]

Hey gents,

I'm not sure I quite appreciate the point of the "instant date".

I know Ricardus has written an article about why it is not needed, but I can't quite remember where and how I got the idea that it can be used, other than that I'd never heard of such a concept as the "instant date" before I first visited Girls Chase.

My reason for asking about this is that I've noticed a number of recent occasions, especially with very young and hot girls, when I've asked for a (regular) date and been rejected, but the girl's body language is kinda saying the opposite: lots of smiles, gleaming eyes and even sometimes a nod or two of the head! (I had this earlier today.) Yet even if I persist ("Are you sure?" or even "Why not?") I still get rejected.

I don't know why but I have an inkling that if I'd asked for an "instant date", I might have seen more success. What I do know for a fact is that on the relatively few occasions when I have asked for an instant date, I've had a disproportionately high acceptance rate.

I am seriously considering going through a field-testing period when I always begin with an instant date proposal, and only switch to the regular date as a form of persistence when rejected ("how about some other time?"). But I'd still be interested to know why those who recommend it, do.

The only reasons I've been able to come up with are as follows; my list may be incomplete, unimaginative or just plain wrong.

• She doesn't have to go through the bother of doing her hair, make-up and clothing, and going out, all over again, seeing as this fellow appears to like the version currently on display
• The danger of getting a number and having her flake is eliminated
• She is offering immediate investment—specifically, complying with a moving request
• The mood of the approach is retained (assuming that is a good thing!)
• There is less chance of life getting in the way (other commitments, other men I guess)

Set against this, though, is the fact that she hasn't specifically allocated time, so she might get pulled away, breaking the magic rather; and the fear I have that I don't come across as serious about the whole thing if I can't even respect such norms of social consideration for other people as scheduling meetings in advance. I suppose I had the feeling that these pitfalls outweighed the possible advantages in the list above.

What is your experience with "instant dates", and what commentary can you offer on the reasoning behind the concept? Thank you!

-Marty

 

[Ross]

Instant dates are something that I've made good use of. If I remember correctly, an FR of yours even instituted an instant date, where you met a girl and shortly thereafter went out to lunch with her.

I love getting a date ASAP because it does a few things,

- Keeps her in the moment
- Keeps momentum in our interaction
- Eliminates the chance that she is filled with doubt before a date
- It's a fun, one-of-a-kind experience where I quite literally sweep her off her feet
etc.

It's one of those things that only works some of the time, though. Getting an instant date is all about logistics. If she's going to bail on me 30 minutes into grabbing a bite to eat, because she has prior commitments, I'm going to take a rain check. It will up my success rate and ensure that I don't spend excess time on her for something that will lead to nothing. It works especially well on a college campus for exactly this reason; girls have plenty of free time after they're all finished with their classes, leading to an instant date more often than not.

In order to figure this out, you're just going to have to screen for logistics. Ask her if she's got anything going on in the next few hours, and if she's free, that's where you fit in.

One final note,

and the fear I have that I don't come across as serious about the whole thing if I can't even respect such norms of social consideration for other people as scheduling meetings in advance.

It's certainly fair to want to respect them. I can assure you, however, that no women are going to object to being swept off their feet, from their boring job and boring day, by a man who is able to give her the time of her life. She can deal with the boring, monotonous social ramifications after she looks back on what could be the best time of her life.

 

[Marty]

Thanks for your perspective, Ross. This sounds very encouraging... I think I'm gonna request an instant date by default wherever possible.

I actually did that earlier this evening before falling back on a number close when she said she was busy (she gave me a fake number though—686 area code, WTF?).

And yes you're right I had a relatively successful instant date Monday—before being dumped by text message the same evening, but it was a great learning experience!