- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
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- 1,070
Focus on having fun in process-and approaching the stunners. Reward mindset, not punishment mindset.
If she's on her way to date-tell her bummer (tonality should be prize/your loss), lose attention, but keep flirting. Then chat a bit, and leave. If she suggests something, tell her to ditch date now and join you-that otherwise just feels kinda icky. Create scarcity in self and avoid being a chaser.
If she's on her way to date-tell her bummer (tonality should be prize/your loss), lose attention, but keep flirting. Then chat a bit, and leave. If she suggests something, tell her to ditch date now and join you-that otherwise just feels kinda icky. Create scarcity in self and avoid being a chaser.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 1,070
Getting pounded by a lot of fear.
I feel the desire to be dominant, and the desire to be sexual but fear is tough to beat.
Sometimes I wonder if I just feel it to a much higher extent than other people, because it never seems like other people keep going through this.
Not to mention the insanity of continuing to approach over and over and sometimes feeling like despite trying to mentally make changes, they're not coming out physically.
Exhausted and frustrated, but started night gaming again and will continue fighting.
I feel the desire to be dominant, and the desire to be sexual but fear is tough to beat.
Sometimes I wonder if I just feel it to a much higher extent than other people, because it never seems like other people keep going through this.
Not to mention the insanity of continuing to approach over and over and sometimes feeling like despite trying to mentally make changes, they're not coming out physically.
Exhausted and frustrated, but started night gaming again and will continue fighting.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 1,070
Went out yesterday to meet some friends and ended up spending the entire day with a group of girls.
Super nice and fun, but to say that women are dick starved is an understatement. Every other sentence was about men or fucking or some shit in that realm.
Was flirting quite a bit with one and doing better on expressivity. She seemed touchy back but also was push-pulling in a way that was a bit annoying.
Got invited to go out with them and their friends later that night so I did. There was another guy there who is pretty smooth. Interesting noting the difference in that I'm trying to be more expressive and he's much more sprezzatura in his expressivity, and the girl I was interested in was draping herself around him. He also seemed better at having a fun conversation than I am right now, but I'm working on it.
I was definitely emotionally affected at two points. Once when the girl I was interested was telling a story about being invited for a threesome, and the other when the same girl was being much more physically affectionate with the other guy.
She was also just chugging shots which did lower my interest, but I still felt hurt that she wanted the other guy more.
Also made some social faux pauxs in some sex story related stuff. Need to remember that hinting and small stories can be more powerful than just sharing everything at once. Being a mystery and not spilling all the beans is important even with the nuance of being open and honest.
Super nice and fun, but to say that women are dick starved is an understatement. Every other sentence was about men or fucking or some shit in that realm.
Was flirting quite a bit with one and doing better on expressivity. She seemed touchy back but also was push-pulling in a way that was a bit annoying.
Got invited to go out with them and their friends later that night so I did. There was another guy there who is pretty smooth. Interesting noting the difference in that I'm trying to be more expressive and he's much more sprezzatura in his expressivity, and the girl I was interested in was draping herself around him. He also seemed better at having a fun conversation than I am right now, but I'm working on it.
I was definitely emotionally affected at two points. Once when the girl I was interested was telling a story about being invited for a threesome, and the other when the same girl was being much more physically affectionate with the other guy.
She was also just chugging shots which did lower my interest, but I still felt hurt that she wanted the other guy more.
Also made some social faux pauxs in some sex story related stuff. Need to remember that hinting and small stories can be more powerful than just sharing everything at once. Being a mystery and not spilling all the beans is important even with the nuance of being open and honest.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 1,070
Focus is now on mentality.
Chatting with Hector and a big issue (and one that I internally resist a lot) is that I'm objectifying women in a bad way. Viewing them as notches or a source of validation.
Need to go a bit soft and focus more on being genuinely curious about her, appreciating her feminine energy, and being overall positive.
Still need to have boundaries and not tolerate bad behavior-so she starts acting rude, I lose interest (genuinely) and if she keeps at it just wish her a good day and leave.
Big thing today was that on approach pre-approach I'd remind myself to be evaluating her, because she hasn't done anything to make me think she's anything special besides being attractive. Treating her so highly, and being so nervous, isn't deserved-and is actually a demonstration of me being too easy and shallow.
Once I'm chatting with a cute girl I forget the focus, so tomorrow the big thing is going to be having that meta-awareness to remind myself to relax and make sure I'm focusing on the right things.
First steps are there though. I'm highly cognizant of the bad behaviors and mentalities that are causing bad results and negative reactions. Next things I need to permanently improve are to see how good behaviors and mentalities have positive results and positive reactions. And then training in the moment to behave the right way.
Chatting with Hector and a big issue (and one that I internally resist a lot) is that I'm objectifying women in a bad way. Viewing them as notches or a source of validation.
Need to go a bit soft and focus more on being genuinely curious about her, appreciating her feminine energy, and being overall positive.
Still need to have boundaries and not tolerate bad behavior-so she starts acting rude, I lose interest (genuinely) and if she keeps at it just wish her a good day and leave.
Big thing today was that on approach pre-approach I'd remind myself to be evaluating her, because she hasn't done anything to make me think she's anything special besides being attractive. Treating her so highly, and being so nervous, isn't deserved-and is actually a demonstration of me being too easy and shallow.
Once I'm chatting with a cute girl I forget the focus, so tomorrow the big thing is going to be having that meta-awareness to remind myself to relax and make sure I'm focusing on the right things.
First steps are there though. I'm highly cognizant of the bad behaviors and mentalities that are causing bad results and negative reactions. Next things I need to permanently improve are to see how good behaviors and mentalities have positive results and positive reactions. And then training in the moment to behave the right way.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 1,070
There's a lagging mentality shift when you become so sexy that it's clear women want you for your dick and are horny for you, yet where you're still desperate and behave in needy ways. Continuing my focus on being locked in on the woman I'm with, and paying attention to her signals to see where she's at, and how she's feeling, and whether she's meeting my standards. I take responsibility for her, and she has to meet my standards for continuing the escalation.
Recently when I notice her discomfort, I let the desperate part of me that wants the notch more than the part of me that is relaxed and knows my worth control me, and that leads to the girl becoming more uncomfortable because it's clear that I'm not paying attention to where she's at. I have to keep improving to make sure that I am not one of those people who value sex at all costs, and that I really stay focused on her and make sure she's comfortable. As I do that, her resistance will likely fade away on its own, as she realizes I care about her, and allow her to let her horniness shine.
Recently when I notice her discomfort, I let the desperate part of me that wants the notch more than the part of me that is relaxed and knows my worth control me, and that leads to the girl becoming more uncomfortable because it's clear that I'm not paying attention to where she's at. I have to keep improving to make sure that I am not one of those people who value sex at all costs, and that I really stay focused on her and make sure she's comfortable. As I do that, her resistance will likely fade away on its own, as she realizes I care about her, and allow her to let her horniness shine.