The Love Journal

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
INTRO

Hey guys!

Welcome to my brand new journal. Before I start, let me get into what this journal is about

In this journal I will be chronicling my journey to find the one. Now I know this might sound a little cliche "the one" but my definition of that is essentially the person that I agree to spend the rest of my life with. Some people settle when they make this agreement but I am choosing to not do that. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who I have undeniable chemistry with, someone who I can look in the eyes and just know. I believe it is going to take a lot of hard work to find this person. Someone told me that you need to have a set goal that motivates you when you embark on a journey like this, and ive decided this to be my goal. Do not get the impression that I'm righteous or something and will only fuck someone if they're my girlfriend. I plan on having fuck boy phases, sometimes I just wanna fuck and dont really care about feelings. I want to experience the vast array of sexual/romantic encounters you can have with women. Some days I will not have gone out or will have had minimal encounters with women, but I will still journal on those days. This journal is also for Self development and Social interactions. So yup that's all my focus for this journal and this journey. I call it the love journal because I will be trying share and receive love through all interactions big and small.

On to the first day!
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
DAY 1

After class (college student), I went to the cafeteria and saw a girl with a fat ass from afar. Walked up to her and said my line. She says she was in a meeting on zoom. I decided to end the conversation. Hey, at least I combated my approach anxiety.

I think I'm gonna tally my number of approaches, seems like a cool figure to keep track of

Approach two was at the mall. I saw cute girl in the food court, panicked mentally, and then decided to sit like 20 feet away from her. Then I gathered the courage to go up to her. Interaction went really well. I pointed in the wrong direction when I said "I was over there and I saw you walking by" so logically if she thought about it, it would've confused her, but luckily she didn't notice so I was good. Her dad walked up to the table we were at while I was talking to her. It freaked me the fuck out. He was right next to me like sipping a coke, super chill dude, but I was super confused as who this guy was at first. I realize the move would've been to add him to the conversation so I could talk to her longer. She said she had to get going like 10 seconds after he showed up. I forgot to say "I have to get going too, but maybe we could get coffee sometime?" When a girl is assertive like that saying she has to leave, it makes me feel like I can only comply with what she has to say. I think this is do to my lack of confidence. Anyways the approach was a positive interaction and made me feel really good, having it be positive. Does Approach high exist?

Third approach was also at the mall. This one was in the large hallway outside the stores. She walked past me and I turned around and did a side approach. She put considerable distance between us, like 6 feet, before saying hi. She was uncomfortable, I tried to see what I could get, asking for her name but she wouldn't even give me that. We parted ways. I was worried she was gonna talk to security about me. But I know that was just my irrational mind acting up.

Btw, did meditation for an hour before going to the mall. It had a huge effect on my consciousness. Much more peaceful and balanced. I'm definitely going to meditate more as I want to spiritually find myself and it also has so many benefits.

At the mall I had such a blast, I talked to other shoppers and staff as well, I even got myself a small Jamba juice smoothie as a reward for approaching. I talked to hector on a coaching call and he gave me some really good advice. I have tendencies to push myself too hard in a self degrading way, so he said I should aim for at least 5 approaches a week. This number is perfect for me for now, as I don't want to put too much pressure on myself and not enjoy myself, as I was doing the first week I started approaching (last week).

Anyways, challenging day mostly because of my anxiety (Ive had really bad anxiety since I was young, currently trying a new anxiety medication, hope it works), but also rewarding as I got some approaches done and finished recording a new song.

Approach count: 14
 
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BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
DAY 2

This social interaction that I just had bothered me so I decided to document it.

After class today, my new friends and I were all eating at lunch. One of my new friends who I recently don't like anymore because of how he is inconsiderate, He decided to bring along this girl that I have been crushing on for a while. I have had this strange emotional reaction to her appearing in past social social interactions because I feel I am failing to seduce her and I do not know how to seduce her. This creates a vibe of negativity in my mind whenever I am around her. Anyways, she was there, all of us were there. I had a hard time keep track of all of the different conversations and staying in one of them.

With my friend Samantha (she's a girl who I would like to date but has a boyfriend), we were having good conversations because we connect really well and vibe together. But the friends that I did not know as well, It was hard to stay in there conversations, I feel like I was half in them half out of them, only commenting. I guess my goal for large group interactions like this would be to get the same amount of attention back that I am giving to others. Sometimes it feels like attention is not being reciprocated.

At one point in the interaction when Samantha, crush girl, and I were talking, I realized the vibe was becoming dead so I successfully switched topics. I'm proud of that maneuver as it worked. There was an opportunity for me to ask out crush girl and I did it. Samantha is my usual gym partner but she couldn't go to the gym with me today so I asked crush girl if she was going to the gym. She said no, and she said it in a way that made it obvious she was rejecting me. I thought how I asked her out was subtle but I guess not.

Then later on in the interaction, crush girl calls me "so white" because I haven't been to any of the mixed communities around campus. This really offends me because it's saying that the color of my skin corresponds to a stereotype. I guess its reverse racism? I mean what if I called someone "so Chinese ", or "so latino", how would they feel about that? I would never say something like that, I'm just mentioning it to prove a point. Anyways it really offended me and it was hard to act like I wasn't offended. I showed blatantly that my feelings were hurt by shriveling up socially for a few seconds.

In seduction are you supposed to hide your natural reactions if its something like that? I don't know, it seems like doing that is repressing who you are. I didn't want to hang out with my friends anymore for today after she said that so a few minutes later I said "oh I really have to get going, I have to take care of my mom" (my mom has dementia). And then I left. Obviously from this you can see I'm very sensitive. I know it will make this get good with girls thing really hard for me in some ways, but being sensitive will also help me take care of a girl when im in a relationship.

I'm thinking about pumping some iron, working on some music, maybe getting in a few approaches today, we'll see cuz I already approached yesterday.

Part two for today coming at night
 

Azari

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
36
In seduction are you supposed to hide your natural reactions if its something like that? I don't know, it seems like doing that is repressing who you are.
Yeah kinda, not exactly hiding them but perhaps toning them down.....Think of the smoothest, most seductive person you know. Either real or fictional....would he react in that situation the way you did?

I think you should read this artcile Here...might be useful.
And also how to be smooth....
--
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
DAY 3

today after class I went to the cafeteria again. I made a couple new friends there, got some more social experience.

I got into a situation where I was talking to this girl and I got her number. We had a very engaging conversation, very in depth about psychology (we’re both psychology majors) I managed to tease her a little about being a psych nerd. That was the extent of my flirting. I really wanted to get in some kind of physical touch in there but couldn’t find an opportunity. We were sitting side by side at the lunch table, any ideas on how to touch her?

So I got the number now I don’t know how to follow up, do I just ask her if she wants to get coffee? Thinking I could say that under the pretense of discussing psychology further, maybe make a joke about how she’s the next sigmund Freud. Advice on how to go about texting her would be welcome.

I got a number last week from a girl and number this week from a girl. I’m pretty happy about that.

Also there’s this girl that goes to the cafe sometimes, I wanna fuck her so bad. She looks like kid larois girlfriend except without out the huge tits, she makes up for it with her ass tho. Anyways I wanna approach her but with a 10 like this I want to have the best chances possible. Should I wait 6 months after I’ve gotten 300+ approaches under my belt? Then I’ll be much smoother and my chances will go up. Maybe I should meet her through some social means so the context will be better. I’m crushing on her for sure and I know that’s not the best for my game. How do you guys think I should approach trying to fuck her?

I worked my ass off in the gym today, it felt great.
Had a meeting with my dieting coach, that went well

finished off the day talking to my cousin. My only regret is not meditating today or making any music.

I’m on that self improvement grind for sure.
 
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BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
Yeah kinda, not exactly hiding them but perhaps toning them down.....Think of the smoothest, most seductive person you know. Either real or fictional....would he react in that situation the way you did?

I think you should read this artcile Here...might be useful.
And also how to be smooth....
--
Toning down feeling rejected would be not showing any emotion, at least in my mind. I don’t know if I can do that. I think how I reacted made perfect sense because I’m a sensitive guy. It’s really hard to not act offended, I would need considerable self control to not show any weakness. Maybe defending myself in a playful manner would work. All I know is in that situation I would have to act the opposite of how I felt In order to come across in a pleasing manner to others. I don’t know if I’m prepared to disguise my emotions like that, nor do I agree with such deception. However, if I need to do it to get laid, I’ll do it.
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
DAY 4, 5, 6

Day 4

Went to the gym, I kept seeing this beautiful asian chick. I've been going through a phase where I'm in awe with women, like I find so many woman so beautiful. A real appreciation for beauty. anyways when I was in the pool I noticed she was swimming laps, her technique was really bad lol. I used an indirect opener. "Hey could I use that lane? It's my favorite" She gave a friendly reply. After swimming for a bit I stopped and asked her "So do you come here often?"

"yeah twice a week"

"Oh I come here everyday"

we had a small conversation about the pool. She was half naked and smiling and everything, I had a half boner and was really enjoying talking to someone so beautiful. She looked like a mermaid in the pool light. I decided to start swimming again and while swimming I thought of a way to get her number (ask if she uses the weights, if she says yes, I could say oh we should work out together sometime, and then ask for the number. If she doesn't I could just say she should start and we could work out together, same outcome)

When I stopped swimming she was gone, so oh well, maybe ill see her again.

Day 5

After class and my therapy (if you guys have issues I suggest therapy, it's really helpful), I went to the college cafeteria. After getting my coffee, I ran into my old crush and sat next to her. We talked for like a good 30 minutes. I hesitated mentally but decided to play truth or dare with her. It went well, we developed a deeper connection. Turns out crush girl's greatest fear is getting heartbroken. I found that kinda funny but didn't laugh. It was funny to me because I've experienced so much heartbreak that im used to it. Or more like, if I were to get my heartbroken tomorrow, I would know how to deal with it You kinda learn from heartbreak that all pain is temporary and the more you can accept, the easier letting go will be. But anyways, I kinda shared with her some wisdom from my past relationships so I guess I shared some with her too.

We were waiting for another friend of ours and were gonna surprise her with a little birthday present. This birthday girl was like the 4th girl I ever cold approached, funny how now she's a part of my social circle.

I went on a date with this girl to Dave n Busters earlier but I was confused as to whether I should seduce her because on the cold approach I made a big mistake, I tried holding her hand and she blushed and let go. Later on one of my guy friend's told me holding hands was a couple thing, and you couldn't do it while cold approaching. So on the date I was confused as to whether she was interested or not.

I feel like an attraction window closed with her, so now I'm just her friend. Lmk guys if I can still go for her or not.

Anyways we surprised approach girl with a tiny cake. She was so happy. Ig one of those people that is grateful for everything.

Birthday girl invited me to her birthday party that's tomorrow.

Day 6

We all met at the train stop for birthday girls birthday. Train ride was a little awkward because not everybody knew everybody. I was engaging everyone in conversation tho so that was good. I saw a girl I liked, let's call her Amy. Amy and I had a pretty good conversation on the train, lasted like 20 minutes. Did some deep diving but no flirting. after we arrived at the city we had to walk to the restaurant for a bit. I talked primarily with Amy and the only other guy there during the walk, one on one with each.

I should mention, everyone except me was a native Spanish speakers. So half the time everyone was speaking in Spanish. It was even worse at the restaurant, that was like 80% Spanish. I still managed to talk a bit, and got everyone's numbers too. I was mainly focused on getting Amy's number.

Then we went to the historic district, to meet up with this other girl. While walking to the district, I focused on flirting on Amy and made her laugh a couple times. We were talking during the whole walk. I really need advice with flirting, my flirting game is weak.

So we met up with the girl. This girl I met for the first time yesterday, I knew I liked her instantly. As soon as we met up with this girl, I switched from focusing on Amy to new girl. Let's call new girl Rachel. I got her number too and we made plans to make song together the next day at school. We both make music. I feel bad for ditching Amy but tbh it was more fun talking to Rachel then it was talking to Amy. I had to leave early from the party because I was meeting with some other friends later that day. Hugged all the girls and the dabbed up the dude to say goodbye. It was nice hugging Rachel but I wish could've grabbed her ass. I dabbed up Amy by accident and tried to hug her to make up for it but she didn't want the hug, I hope that wasn't because I was talking to Rachel. Anyways on to later that night night.

My other friends and I went to this amusement park and had fun, the people I had trouble socializing with was my old crush, Idk she can be hard to talk to (maybe for emotional reasons?) , and this other dude was hard to talk to as well. Idk we just dont click either. Any tips to talking to people who are hard to talk to?

the night was fun, we got some grub at midnight.

I wasn't really trying to fuck anyone at the hangout, the only other girl, besides old crush, had a boyfriend and I wasn't gonna get in the middle of that.

Anyways I had a lot of fun and practiced my social skills!
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
1/21/23 9:29 College Cafeteria



Saw a pretty girl with glasses sitting down. Approached with compliment, asked for name, asked her how the semester was going for her. I was positive and enthusiastic but it didn’t so shit. She didn’t seem to enthusiastic and looked to her phone. I thought she wasn’t interested enough so I backed out 10 seconds in. Wondered if I should have kept going, will ask other PUA’s



1/25/23 1:55 Downtown



Saw a girl across the street that was attractive and decided to approach. I did a good job of getting in an position to approach. We had a 5 minute conversation talking about a lot of things, I did a good job keeping it going. I asked for her number at the end saying we should get coffee, her objection was that I was in college and she was 30. I didn’t know how to defeat this resistance so I ended the conversation. After said I should get going she still tried talking to me, that was an obvious sign that I missed. Now that I think about it, I could have kept the conversation going after being rejected and then tried asking again later on. I also could have tried an insta date and the gotten her number after I had gotten more compliance. I also didn’t touch her at all, I need to figure out how to do that. But my question is how could I have gotten that objection out of the way? Should I have been more assertive? Maybe I could have asked for her hand and done palm reading to get touch in.



1/30/23 Downtown 3:09



I was waiting at a cross walk for the light and then this pretty girl (not too pretty) lined up behind me so I turned around and approached, it wasn’t very smooth and I stuttered. She showed the least amount of commitment possible barely acknowledging. I could tell she wasn’t interested so I stopped and said sorry. I don’t think I should apologize for that, I have a sex drive like everyone else. Also maybe I could’ve kept going, said something like: “how come your so shy, are u new to the area”. That’s probably uncalibrated but it’s the best I can come up with.



1/30/23 Downtown 3:39



I noticed this girl walking towards me out of the corner of my eye so I slowed my pace so she could catch up to me. I hesitated a little when she walked by but then said my usual opener. She had a husband. I left it at that.



2/13/23 Mall 5:33



Two approaches:



First one she said she was looking for a Valentine’s Day gift for someone but that someone she said wasn’t her boyfriend. Feels like it was a test, she paused to say this so I feel like she was thinking of an excuse to fuck with me. Definitely coy would be a good word for her personality towards me I perceived this through her vocal inflection. Is this a test? If so how should I have responded?



Second girl talked about her job with her convo was not performed well, ran into a dead end and then asked for her number. She gave it surprisingly. Said she doesn’t want coffee date but would give number. I’m not sure how to proceed but I’m going to try my best:)



Third was a young girl with highlights, she has good energy and I flirted well with her but I asked her her age and she was 17 and I’m 19 so I had to end our conversation. I could have been nicer how I ended it. Like made an excuse like oh I have to get going.



2/15/23:



Approach at the gym, was very awkward I said something really stupid. I said “legs is my least favorite day, i bet legs is your favorite day you have have really big legs” very weird, my flirting will get better tho



Approach at the mall. She created a lot of distance after the open and slowly backed away saying she had to go. I don’t know how I could have convinced her to stay without acting needy. Uneventful approach.



2/16/23



Approach at cafeteria at college. This girl looked amazing, probably an 8. At first she was disinterested but conversation picked up when I got her talking about her work and her favorite books. She was still tho idly looking at her homework while I was talking to her. Felt like I exhausted all options of conversation so I went for the close. She said she wasn’t interested. As she was leaving and I was sitting with my friends she apologized and explained that she was interested in someone. Very kind of her but she didn’t need to do that, im used to rejection.



Approach two girls at the cafeteria. Hectors can I talk to your friend opener worked well. They were both from Nicaragua so there English wasn’t that good. I decided to stop pursuing because I didn’t want to deal with another language barrier like my exes. I didn’t think that I could just have casual sex with them it didn’t have to be serious. I know now for next time to try to fuck foreign girls anyways because pussy is pussy and I don’t have to marry them.



2/17/23



Approached Muslim girl at the mall beautiful. I’m not sure If she was underage or not from afar she looked college. Anyways her we’re giving me not happy looks so I backed out. Probably only 10 seconds. Question is: how do you open when parents are around, is that even possible?



2/18/23



Saw a girl when I was on the dock with Friend, walked past her and hesitated but then went back and approached. Had long convo, felt like I was talking as a friend. Wanted to touch her but didn’t know how. Got her number, she has not responded.



2/19/23



Approach while walking to hike with friends, got number



2/20/23



Two approaches at school



2/22/23



Approached a girl at the gym. I sounded nervous doing my approach, probably because I was. Stuttering or elongating words was there too. I leaned in to talk to her because she was behind a squat rack, the body language did not look good.



Take aways: fake confidence, work on your stuttering through out the day, don’t talk about the gym too much switch topics fast, look up girls chase articles on how to seduce at the gym, also be mindful during your approaches so you can take notes on weak points.



Approached a girl walking to my car. Her ass was huge. She didn’t speak English that well and she was stressed about her car. She couldn’t find it. I asked her “are u okay” bc she seemed stress. Feel like it was hard to seduce her while she was worrying over her car. Maybe I could handle this by offering to help her look for her car and seduce her while doing that. I know I have to address her issue I can’t just ignore it, I don’t think deflecting would work because it’s an important imminent concern. I think offering to help is a good solution, but maybe she will think I’m a simp if I do that. Maybe it depends on what I would be helping her with. I want to ask my coach this question.



The mall



First approach was older Asian women. She had to get going, went okay



Second approach was too fat so I asked where the old navy was



Third approach completely ignored me and I wasn’t even into her so I asked her the old navy question



Fourth was a hired gun for this beauty salon, she has a husband



Fifth was two girls I approached, very nervous talking to two women I stuttered a lot, need to fix that



So really only three approaches at the mall. But 5 approached in one day so that’s an all time high. Progress!



I need to be mindful during the approach so I can notice what I was doing and then be able to give better reports. I also need to report immediately after talking to the person so what I did is fresh in my mind to
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
2/23-2/25
I think I approached about 1-2 girls a day in this time range. Only comments are that I’m too polite, need to learn how to be edgier

2/26/23
Outing objectives:
  1. Vocal tonality and speed
  2. Eye contact
  3. Implicit flirting
So going to the mall was the worst outing I have ever had. Was to sidetracked to complete any of the objectives. One woman cursed at me in some eastern european language and another one just walked off right as I started talking.
I have some ideas why things went wrong.

1. I walked right up to Eastern European girl while she was stationary on her phone. Upon getting close to her, I opened with "excuse me.." and then my usual compliment.

I think I got too close to her when I opened. This then startled her and triggered an aggressive reaction.

I need to start my open the right distance away so she isn't startled or on the flip side can't hear me.

2. with the girl that just walked away, I noticed her and started to follow, then she changed directions and I followed her, I suspect at this point she noticed me. Anyways, she goes up to a display of a dress that is at the storefront, I think through the reflection in the glass she could see me approaching. I start my opener and then she just walks away.

I feel if I had kept more distance between us at the start of me following her, it wouldn't appear as me following her. Also, the angle I was approaching allowed there to be a reflection in the glass. If I had approached at a different angle, she probably wouldn't have seen my reflection and the approach would seem more spontaneous.

I've noticed from reading the more experienced guy's posts, they really hone in on the small details, such as approach angles, getting her to look at you first, the opening sentence etc.

I need to get good at this If I want to get anywhere in seduction. I assume a lot of my rejections just come from the fact that the approach is not optimal

If anyone as some good guidelines on the semantics of making the approach, I'm all ears.
I'll probable do some research in the articles about this.

Approached a girl that was on the phone, decided to back out because she was busy. How do you guys handle this? I know some wait until they're off the phone but I've also heard of people, such as Chase (read he did it in an article), approach while they are on the phone. Sounds like a tricky set. How do you guys tackle this issue?

Probably going to ask my coach about this outing, he can give me more insight.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
454
I actually have grown to love this part. It's very physical and positional, like martial arts or a dance. I study this a lot.

Just a few thoughts before I share--

None of this is magic, some girls are just a no-go from the get go.

What I feel this stuff really does is keep you walking on the tight rope. I feel it's matter of finding eligible girls, and moving forward within that girl/situation's tolerance of mistake.

Doing this part wrong can shut down an eligible girl or encounter immediately. But doing it right doesn'r guarantee an outcome, either... like taking the next step on a tight rope, it just moves you forward. But it seems to me to be at least of moderate weight when measured against the totality of things.

The more a girl knows you and perhaps likes you, the more there is tolerance for mistakes, slowness or unsavyness ime. Which is why cold approach is so brutal-- she is making quick decisions and wanting her filters to work, to exclude the chumps from the champs on minimal knowledge!

Having said that, here's what I think.

1. Match energy or vibe.
2. Don't look at her or focus on her at all at first, before positioning.
3. Do whatever you have to do to smoothly position yourself near her. If she is across the room, it might take some doing, or a little time and few small hops. But accidentally and nonabruptly close that distance.
4. Make sure she sees you and is aware of your presence.
5. Body position matters. Fully facing her is spotlighting and high pressure if done too early. I like to give the impression of shifting away, going toward something else. Careful with your focus.
6. Over the shoulder is gold. I often shoot a comment toward her that's funny and that's how we start.
7. Side to side, ie both facing a wall or not each other, seems great. Again, it's about not blowing her up with focus rn. Gentle, gentle touch, and like it's not going to linger or glom on.

This is in the neighborhood of my ideal approach. I've certainly done and do more direct, particularly at night with high energy, but during the day with strangers this is good.

There's a lot more that could be said. And this just the start of a cold approach process. Much more to delve into and refine, but it's oddly beautiful, just a segment of a process that is peculiar and has depth and its own element.

And it's all for nothing if the girl is a no-go from the start, or if you fuck it up in a different part of the process elsewhere. But a great opening sure produces momentum in these short interactions and can only help lead to better outcomes.
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
I actually have grown to love this part. It's very physical and positional, like martial arts or a dance. I study this a lot.

Just a few thoughts before I share--

None of this is magic, some girls are just a no-go from the get go.

What I feel this stuff really does is keep you walking on the tight rope. I feel it's matter of finding eligible girls, and moving forward within that girl/situation's tolerance of mistake.

Doing this part wrong can shut down an eligible girl or encounter immediately. But doing it right doesn'r guarantee an outcome, either... like taking the next step on a tight rope, it just moves you forward. But it seems to me to be at least of moderate weight when measured against the totality of things.

The more a girl knows you and perhaps likes you, the more there is tolerance for mistakes, slowness or unsavyness ime. Which is why cold approach is so brutal-- she is making quick decisions and wanting her filters to work, to exclude the chumps from the champs on minimal knowledge!

Having said that, here's what I think.

1. Match energy or vibe.
2. Don't look at her or focus on her at all at first, before positioning.
3. Do whatever you have to do to smoothly position yourself near her. If she is across the room, it might take some doing, or a little time and few small hops. But accidentally and nonabruptly close that distance.
4. Make sure she sees you and is aware of your presence.
5. Body position matters. Fully facing her is spotlighting and high pressure if done too early. I like to give the impression of shifting away, going toward something else. Careful with your focus.
6. Over the shoulder is gold. I often shoot a comment toward her that's funny and that's how we start.
7. Side to side, ie both facing a wall or not each other, seems great. Again, it's about not blowing her up with focus rn. Gentle, gentle touch, and like it's not going to linger or glom on.

This is in the neighborhood of my ideal approach. I've certainly done and do more direct, particularly at night with high energy, but during the day with strangers this is good.

There's a lot more that could be said. And this just the start of a cold approach process. Much more to delve into and refine, but it's oddly beautiful, just a segment of a process that is peculiar and has depth and its own element.

And it's all for nothing if the girl is a no-go from the start, or if you fuck it up in a different part of the process elsewhere. But a great opening sure produces momentum in these short interactions and can only help lead to better outcomes.
Thank you, I’ll put this into practice when I go out tonight.
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
2/28/23:



A girl from my class and her friend sat down next to me in the cafeteria. I used her being my class as an in. Then made some small talk. Then complimented her friend with “cute”. She gave me a soft rejection “we’ll let you get back to ur zoom”. I should have followed hectors several women approach by the book. Acknowledge girl from my class, ask her for permission to talk to other girl, then go from there.



I made the same mistake at the mall yesterday opening two girls the wrong way



Second approach was with another girl from a different class. She was alone at a table in the cafeteria. I mentioned that I knew her from class and then went into my opener. Conversation was good except when I closed she offered to give only insta. I know how that story goes. Instead I made a joke about how if she gave me her insta I wouldn’t be able to see her message because I’m talking to too many girls. The pressure didn’t make her budge so I just left it at that.



Approach at the mall:



Older woman, nice butt. As we were talking she was slowly packing up her food getting ready to leave. I was still talking to her maybe I should have took the hint. She had a boyfriend



Worker at smart phone repair shop, cute middle eastern girl. I opened with hi and then saw she was vaping so I asked her if she was vaping. That sure got her attention. Deer in headlights. Convo was good but when I closed she said no. I think my open put her on edge for the whole talk. Will remember to not do that next time.



Korean woman. Had a long talk with her. I noticed her feet slowly shift towards facing me throughout at the convo. Good sign. I kept trying to flirt but she wasn’t really responding to it more like ignoring it, yet she was focused on the convo. Only had Korean number so I had to get her instagram. Tried to hug goodbye but she didn’t want to. I should of been reading her signals, she was more of a reserved girl.



Older woman, did my opener and she just said thank you and walked off. She was looking at a text message when I did the opener. I’ve noticed a correlation with that and the women being shocked when I approach. I think I should wait until they look up and then open.



Two college girls at pac sun. Did my can I talk to ur friend open and the friend looked incredulous. “Me?!” I don’t know why she was so shocked, what I said wasn’t so radical I think she may have a big ego. She said she had a boyfriend and that was that.



Asian girl with glasses, probably 30. Slowed down my opener, thought it sounded better like that but I still need to go raw like hector says. She said she needed to go walk her dog, soft rejection. How do I override soft rejections?



Another Asian girl, she was waiting for her burger at shake shack. She didn’t want to talk to me I could tell by her short answers. Her dad walked in so I dipped.



Last girl of the day:



Beautiful business woman, walking very fast. My approach didn’t last long she was in a hurry to get to her car and gave me soft rejection something about how I should try the food at the cafeteria, she said this as she walked away so I believe it was a soft rejection.



Takeaways:



Don’t mention when someone is doing something dubious like vaping on the job, this only puts them on guard



Tailor your responses to their personality type, example being the Korean girl



Learn how to get past soft rejections. Maybe they are just objections that need to be worked around



I need to practice my opener in front of a mirror several times a day. It’s not raw enough (pretty ironic, practicing something that is supposed to look genuine)
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
3/1/23:

Went on date today

Asian woman, slender, 22.
Me: Caucasian, Overweight but muscly. Blond curly hair

We met up in the college cafeteria. Hug as greeting. Flirting right from the start. Was able to hold her hand as we were walking to my car. She did hesitate and pull away the first time I tried to hold hands. But then the second time she complied. In the car ride to the restaurant, I was able to hold her hand and put my hand on her thigh.

We got the food. Turns out it was only delivery so there were no places to sit and eat. We found a bench outside to sit and eat at. Was flirting with her the whole time we were there. She laughed at every joke I made. I feel like I was talking 60% of time and she was 40%. I had to keep on thinking of topics.

I need to sit back more and let her chase, how to do that I don't know

When we were on the bench, I tried to kiss her. She pulled away. This is my first time ever trying to initiate the first kiss. So at least I put myself out there. I didnt know when we would be a good time kiss so I just went for it. Will experiment with this more or maybe just wait for a girl who is giving obvious signals.

Some small things I noticed. Whenever we would sit at a bench, she would always leave half a foot of space between us. I dont think this is a good sign.

Also when we were walking to my car, she at one point was holding onto her phone with two hands. I'm not sure if this was an attempt to avoid us holding hands. She held this position for like 10 seconds and then just relaxed her arms at her sides, and then I went back to holding her hand.

On the drive back to campus, I had my hand on her thighs for a good 5 minutes. I was slowly moving to her inner thigh, but I dont think It would be a good idea to go for her pussy.


We said goodbye when I dropped her off at her class. As soon as the door shut, I knew I wasn't getting a second date. This is because:

I feel like she was only letting me touch her because she felt like she had to be polite. I think this because of the small attempts of distancing she did. I don't know if these signs I mentioned previously are real signs, maybe someone let me know.

But she didn't want the kiss and I feel like she didn't like me touching her.

On the flip side, She was laughing at all of my jokes and appeared to be having a good time. And when I touched her there was no visible resistance, like pulling away, saying no etc.

I feel like I was acting way too horny. GC says to be escalating but I've never researched Escalation windows or touch ladders.

So my conclusion is I was doing these techniques wrong.

A girl I dated in October was very nice to me and it seemed like she was having a good time when we went on the date but then I got the text that she didn't want to see me anymore.

So basically, I can't tell when women mean attraction or are faking it. I know when my ex made a move on me it was very obvious but when a girl is on the first date I feel like they are leaving it all to the man to escalate things. So when a women is attracted to me but this attraction is passive or subtle, I can never tell if she wants the second date. I'm going to send a "it was nice seeing you :)" text two hours after the date and see if she texts back.

Just bought one date because I am tired of losing beautiful girls. Surface level, this girl was into me, but then subtle signals told me she still was reserved. That's why I'm thinking this one could go either way. Hoping for the best expecting the worst.
 

BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
3/1/23:

I've noticed this pattern recently where the girls who I approach and develop some form of connection, even if it's small, I start to yearn for these girls. After my ex and I parted ways, when I started approaching then, I just wanted to fuck the girl I approached, or just find some small way to stunt on my ex. I don't know if it's my decision for this craft to be my main focus, or some other reason, but now I want romance. This feeling seems almost spiritual In nature.

Just a strange development, could be good, could be bad, I'll find out.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
454
So basically, I can't tell when women mean attraction or are faking it.

At last we are talking about something where I have one of my very few hard earned pieces of gold to give.

There is no 100% reliable way to know this, and the seeking of one is just insecurity or neediness. And even with overwhelming evidence, the mind can work against itself. "Nah, she was just being friendly..." sound familiar?

There is only one metric: what she will or won't do. I believe you can stop looking so much for attraction, and ask her to do things, even as far as to come home with you.

And hopefully when your dick is in her you'll stop wondering whether she's attracted or not.
 

TheEcho

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 28, 2016
Messages
358
Location
Texas
I've noticed this pattern recently where the girls who I approach and develop some form of connection, even if it's small, I start to yearn for these girls. After my ex and I parted ways
That's the rebound feelings, it's why girls (and guys) are wary of being a rebound. I fell hard for the first girl that let me in after my breakup, and snapped out of it very quickly, which caused a lot of confusion for her. Hard to say what's the right way to approach it, other than be mindful about sharing your intensity of feelings with a new girl too fast. See if they disappear before starting to suck her into a would-be relationship.

Apologies Hoof, if you mentioned these things already, there's a lot to go through lol

About the vape situation, good chance to play it off as accepting of her rebelliousness and you get it.

For approaching, be looking away until pretty close and try to have a hockey-stick shaped trajectory, so you look like you're going somewhere else, until the last moment you "notice her" and approach.

I wonder how your stance is during the approach/opening. At least for me, it's easy to be shifting my weight around if I'm not paying attention. Also, are you smiling and making strong eye contact when you open things up? Make sure to not feel rushed and take your time, "she's been waiting for a man like me to show up". Bit of fake it till you make it. It's a process, but I myself am finally getting back to that "I add value" mindset.

The video clips in this thread are so valuable: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-master-of-tension.27193/

For that date: how/why are super useful for deep diving. Having kisses be accepted right away only happens like half the time for me, probably a sign of miscalibration, but still have ended up sleeping with several of the initial-dodgers. You also seem pretty focused on negative signs from her, which is natural if you aren't a psychopath, but better to find the interest and lean in as you can. Back-forth, like a dance 2 steps forward-1 step back.

Silence is super powerful to turn the mood (as seen in the video clips), spreading it throughout your interaction while maintaining warm eye contact does a lot to paint you as strong and steady, and then holding the silence a bit longer before pushing things forward (a kiss) can help. Note, phase changes are not a time for too much silence, the tension will be rising on it's own and you want words to lessen the intensity.
 
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BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
At last we are talking about something where I have one of my very few hard earned pieces of gold to give.

There is no 100% reliable way to know this, and the seeking of one is just insecurity or neediness. And even with overwhelming evidence, the mind can work against itself. "Nah, she was just being friendly..." sound familiar?

There is only one metric: what she will or won't do. I believe you can stop looking so much for attraction, and ask her to do things, even as far as to come home with you.

And hopefully when your dick is in her you'll stop wondering whether she's attracted or not.
Your right. I should have tried getting more compliance. Chase talks about getting small favors. Would you say these minor compliances help you make better judgment calls with “should I kiss her” “should I pull back to my place”?
That's the rebound feelings, it's why girls (and guys) are wary of being a rebound. I fell hard for the first girl that let me in after my breakup, and snapped out of it very quickly, which caused a lot of confusion for her. Hard to say what's the right way to approach it, other than be mindful about sharing your intensity of feelings with a new girl too fast. See if they disappear before starting to suck her into a would-be relationship.
I viewed my girlfriend more as a friend, my feelings for her were mild. I don’t think I’m experiencing rebound feelings because of that. Unless, are they easy to get?

I feel I’m just gaining a greater appreciation for women.

I could be wrong.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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454
Would you say these minor compliances help you make better judgment calls with “should I kiss her” “should I pull back to my place”?

I mean subjectively they make me feel better I guess. Say you go in for a hug, or request a hand for clasp, or ask her to do something and she reciprocates eagerly and then more... i sure feel good when that happens?

But we're always just playing the odds. Nothing is 100percent in life. I do like feeling better about it, but at a certain point, you're just gonna have to ask her to come home. Everything could be golden and perfect and she could still say no, right? It could 100percent seem one way, but really be another.

My thoughts on kissing are different. A lot of inexperienced guys have *kissing* as a goal, which is fine. But to me kissing is more like a specialized tool on my way to a goal.

So the first level of advice is don't kiss unless you're in a spot where you can have sex.

Beyond that, the next level is subjectively deciding where to kiss if the situation needs it to achieve your outcome. Ime it can save an interaction that's flatlining. It also seems to have a peculiar effect of relieving tension, which isn't great, but seems to allow room for even more max tension to build up-- if done correctly; a quick hit/deflation for a longterm gain. (I just did this in January and it helped me get to fucking a new girl).

As to when to know to pull her home, this is a reading of signs and an artform. I'll leave you to find your way through what she might be signaling to encourage you that she's ready, even though we know signals aren't always the best, the proof is always in the asking. For me, even now, there's another piece-- I myself tend to feel a lot of nervousness here, to the point of intentional blindness of signals, etc. And I've done this a lot. Always a bit of a rush, but the point being to do take time to manage your own anxiousness and fear so you can act freely toward your goals, and that doesn't get talked about enough imo; *you* are 50percent of this at least, and have to also manage your own emotions through the process.
 

TheEcho

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
358
Location
Texas
Heads up, added a ton to my previous comment lol. You really just need to be moving forward with touch and isolation, even to the point of not worrying about touch too much if she's isolating with you anyways, she could be shy. Little things like telling her "you can scoot over, I won't bite" if she's close but not quite there or getting up close with a tattoo or interesting piece of jewelry, getting comfortable touch in as you do can help, but keep your eye on the ball (her willingness to isolate).

Have an interesting thing back at your place or a reasonable enough excuse when asking her back. This isn't field tested, but my intuition says something as dumb as "hey, I'm a bit thirsty, let's head back to my place real quick" can do the trick for her plausible deniability (even if there's a water fountain nearby, just be super solid in saying it).

This goes against what Hoof just said (sort of), but if you're walking back to your car and she's being clearly nervous, I'd honestly interpret that as a time to step in front of her, stare into her eyes, then kiss her. Ideally she goes for it and then you get home like a speed demon (with chill). Not sure how much talking should happen in this situation. I'd personally not be saying much if the ride was short, but that could lead to a tension implosion on her side. Could ask her about her taste in music and put something on if it wouldn't take too long to do. Time is of the essence in this scenario, you're basically rushing to isolate and probably greenlit to get into your room, make out, throw her on the bed, and proceed. LMR could still show up, but good chance it's a small thing she wants you to overcome/ignore.

Disclaimer: I have half a dozen experiences where I just smashed into a wall of stupid right on the edge of sex; like "were you planning to have sex?" *said right after SHE just stripped everything but her panties off herself*, followed by me NEVER pushing forward into sex. Also one time a girl invited me over to her place and I tried to take her dress off from the TOP, instead of bottom lol (her alarms blew up: virgin alert).

So... crap happens lol, just have to keep trying to move forward and accumulate experience.


In my experience, letting me rest my hand on her leg rarely doesn't lead to more if you try. Just tell yourself a good story, not a worried story.
 
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BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Aug 15, 2022
Messages
290
3/2/23:

Outing objectives:
  1. Be mindful during the interaction
  2. Good eye contact
  3. Sexy voice
  4. Focus on opening line
Approach 1:

Group of three college age girls. I did my group approach but I think it sounded really mechanical. The girl I was interested in said no thanks in a rude way. I think being with her friends gives her the confidence to give out rejections like that.

This approach fucked up my mindset and I’ve been hesitant to approach groups again.

Second approach: thic Asian. There was distance between us when I started my open but I was able to close it smoothly. She said she was engaged, but I doubt it she said she had to go to an engagement party. Low probability but whatever rejection is rejection

Third approach: said she didn’t speak English. I feel like she was lying but damn I think everyone is lying today :)

Also good news the girl who I dated yesterday is still texting me. I still have a shot! Her response times are longer than mine, but I am going to match hers now because I know shes still interested. I was doing faster replies because I didn’t know if she was going to curve me or not so I thought I’d text faster I’ll find out sooner.

Yet another example of me letting my emotions get the best of me.

Failed approach: saw a girl leaving food court and I had to turn around to follow her. The space was an open space so I think she saw me turn around and follow her. I think this because she walked into the closest store just to hide from me.

Could just be my imagination.

Maybe if I let her get farther from me and then turned she wouldn’t have noticed. Closing the gap would be harder but it would be more discreet. I’ll try that

Approach four:

Girl with two kids. Thought she was au pair. Turned out she was their mother. She was receptive to my approach. tho. My opener Is not raw enough, sounds the same every time. Need to work on that.

Approach five:

Stopped girl getting Panda Express. Wonder if I should have front approach. She was holding Japanese food but I thought it was Panda Express some talked about that. She said she had to go meet up with people. I asked if one of those people was her boyfriend she said yes. I should have just asked If they were her friends because I just gave her an easy way to make up a rejection.

Take aways:

Being mindful during the approaches is difficult. My anxiety and focus on approach angles prevents me from focusing on fundamentals. If the approach lasts long enough then it is easier to focus on fundamentals.

Today’s outing was worse than 2/28. Anxiety from my date not responding and cold first rejection made me doubt myself. Any suggests on how to turn around bad momentum?

I should practice fundamentals more throughout my daily life so It is easier to stay aware of them.
 
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