- Joined
- Jul 17, 2023
- Messages
- 63
For this post, I would prefer the opinions of those who have actively gained experience in activities that were outside their fields of interest when they started seduction, and how they talk about their experiences.
Reference Points:
Different sorts of experiences whether they be interactions with different types of people or activities.
Proficiency:
The level of experience one has in a certain activity.
Perfectionism:
The level of proficiency in an activity past which a person feels comfortable integrating an activity as a part of their identity and therefore comfortable sharing it.
Let’s go through a personal example.
Reference point: Salsa
Proficiency: Newbie, have taken the intro program.
Personal Perfectionism level: I tend to dislike talking about anything I’m not somewhat comfortable at in an “I know so much theory look at me!!!” sort of way. I prefer to use specific ‘in group’ language.
Result: I will not talk about Salsa.
Downside: I’m probably not continuing Salsa and will not increase in proficiency anymore, therefore my experience may be wasted.
Reasons:
1) A sense of authenticity/imposterism.
2) A lack of knowledge on how to frame limited knowledge well in front of people who live the lifestyle.
3) The possible disparity that occurs between a talented and non talented person and the automatic placement of the other person as an authority figure.(Which I’d prefer to avoid)
I know @Chase took a boatload of classes to gather reference points: Archery, Salsa, Snowboarding, Spanish 101 I think and so much more.
But I know he probably didn’t become an expert at all of them. Yet he utilizes them in his conversations with people much more informed on the subject than he is without:
1) Framing himself as “inferior” or being in the student role.
2) While not feeling like he’s an imposter(technically I can’t guess his feelings)
3)Most importantly(for me) without lying about his proficiency, which is admirable.
I believe he keeps the discussion away from the technicalities of the activity and more about the fun and feeling involved in the activity? I’m not sure, I may be projecting because I was experimenting with that form of communication.
Anyways,
He does all of this and still manages to connect with those who are more involved in that particular lifestyle, he achieves in-ness.
I’ll be honest that I like gathering reference points.
But I won’t ever be even decently skilled at most of them, yet I’d love to be able to use them without feeling like an imposter while achieving an ‘in-ness’ with those more proficient.
I believe this may be connected to my perfectionism and unwillingness to lie.
Thoughts that may help me?
Thank you to those who give me advice.
Warmly,
SunnyVibes
Reference Points:
Different sorts of experiences whether they be interactions with different types of people or activities.
Proficiency:
The level of experience one has in a certain activity.
Perfectionism:
The level of proficiency in an activity past which a person feels comfortable integrating an activity as a part of their identity and therefore comfortable sharing it.
Let’s go through a personal example.
Reference point: Salsa
Proficiency: Newbie, have taken the intro program.
Personal Perfectionism level: I tend to dislike talking about anything I’m not somewhat comfortable at in an “I know so much theory look at me!!!” sort of way. I prefer to use specific ‘in group’ language.
Result: I will not talk about Salsa.
Downside: I’m probably not continuing Salsa and will not increase in proficiency anymore, therefore my experience may be wasted.
Reasons:
1) A sense of authenticity/imposterism.
2) A lack of knowledge on how to frame limited knowledge well in front of people who live the lifestyle.
3) The possible disparity that occurs between a talented and non talented person and the automatic placement of the other person as an authority figure.(Which I’d prefer to avoid)
I know @Chase took a boatload of classes to gather reference points: Archery, Salsa, Snowboarding, Spanish 101 I think and so much more.
But I know he probably didn’t become an expert at all of them. Yet he utilizes them in his conversations with people much more informed on the subject than he is without:
1) Framing himself as “inferior” or being in the student role.
2) While not feeling like he’s an imposter(technically I can’t guess his feelings)
3)Most importantly(for me) without lying about his proficiency, which is admirable.
I believe he keeps the discussion away from the technicalities of the activity and more about the fun and feeling involved in the activity? I’m not sure, I may be projecting because I was experimenting with that form of communication.
Anyways,
He does all of this and still manages to connect with those who are more involved in that particular lifestyle, he achieves in-ness.
I’ll be honest that I like gathering reference points.
But I won’t ever be even decently skilled at most of them, yet I’d love to be able to use them without feeling like an imposter while achieving an ‘in-ness’ with those more proficient.
I believe this may be connected to my perfectionism and unwillingness to lie.
Thoughts that may help me?
Thank you to those who give me advice.
Warmly,
SunnyVibes
. Man oh man I appreciated the newness of it, but your words make sense