- Joined
- Apr 2, 2017
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- 198
Sup, fellas!
A FR of meeting a chick at the groceries out of town, not super promising start but got her out on a date which went surprisingly well but didn't manage to close partly due to challenging logistics.
My attire and looks
Dressed in tight blue jeans, cuffs rolled up, white socks with some red strips, black leather boots, tight black T-shirt, bright-yellow short-cut denim jacket with cuffs rolled up a bit, carrying a dark cylindrical leather duffel bag
Her
Slender body, moderate sized but good looking ass, long blonde hair, pretty face, a bit taller than me. Her dress at the date: A long dress (one of those thciker kinds that really accentuate the figure and add a bit of volume), black ballerinas and a faux-leater jacket.
Day I: Meet and grab her number
Visiting a city in a neighboring country approximately two hours away from where I live myself. I sed to live in that city, so I’m familiar with it. Wasn't there exactly to pick up women but always on the lookout for some number grabs during day time.
At around noon time at a grocery store I spot this blonde chick. True to the Scandinavian setting, she’s looking a bit aloof and cold. Anyhow, I decide to feel it out and and go approach her. Lately, I’ve been opening very casually, almost as if I’m their old friend – but without compromising on the sexy vibe.
Me: Heey!
Me: What's up?"
Can't recall exactly all what was said here. I'm half facing her, flickering between giving her my full attention and turning away. Some superficial fluff, where I'm from, what's it like there. What I'm doing in town - I tell her that I came to see some family.
She’s curious but not quite hooked at this point.
There is a lady standing behind her, wanting to make her way through but my girl is blocking her. I tell her someone is trying to pass. I guess this counts as breaking circle but then again, this is a normal thing to do in a situation like this. She makes way for the lady who is now between us and I can feel the awkward proxemics leaves her no option but to eject and go to the next aisle. I pause for a moment and casually go walk up her.
Me: You were saying..
Her: Some fluff about how somethings are different in my town.
We chat a bit, she stays engaged in the conversation but I feel the escalation window is closing fast so I go for the number grab.
Me: Listen, I got to be going, looks like you are in a bit of hurry as well..
[short pause]
Me: Been cool chatting with you, we should grab a few drinks together when I'm back in town.
She: But you have to promise me you won't be a creep. Like, I don't always answer right away.
Me: [laugh, playfully] Haha yeah, I'll be bombarding you one min after my first text why you so cold bitch, not answering my texts!!!!..
Me: But listen, same goes to you, no calling in the middle of the night, OK!!!
She. Like booty-calls..
Me: EXACTLY!!
I let her type her number to my phone. I send an ice-breaker text in the evening.
Me: Salut, Boxer!
Me: Save the number!
Me: -Rakkum
She: Bonasera, Rakkum!
She: If you say so -_-
Me: Relax, it wasn't like SAVE THE NUMBER ;D
She: Now it was!
She: asking about my relatives (kids) we talked about
Me: Of course they are good! You should instead ask me whether I am (joking here: referring to how much of an energy drain kids can be)
She: Makes a joke about me voluntarily spending time with kids
Me: Omg, a child hater!!
She: [Qualifies herself how she loves dogs instead].
Me and her: Some mildly witty semi-intellectual back and forth on.
She: So how many numbers did you get today?
Me: Two [this made me pause for a moment but I felt I was in a good groove and wanted to try something new, so I just replied with this platonic one]
No reply.
Day VI
Me: Now you tell me if that's a lot or not.
She: For a serial number-seeker no
Me: Haha! What about an average Joe going about his day?
She: I guess yea, bc some people don't get numbers on a daily basis.
She: But I got the vibes that you're a professional, so two numbers from random girls is not anything to cheer about
Me: Like a man ho?
She: I like that description
She: But hmm
She: The French have a good for this, un drageur.
[Goddamit, I had to google, this chick is teaching me booksmarts!]
Me: A flirt?
She: A guy who hits all them beautiful ladies with confidence!
Me: You managed to compliment us both in a single sentence!!
She: Yep
[More fluff about some things we spoke of before]
Me: Up for a drink tomorrow?
She: Man in town?
She: For warning, I am intolerable company, but if you want challenge your patience let's go [What does this mean, when an otherwise confident-seeming woman is talking like this about herself?]
Me: How intolerable?
She: I can be very annoying. But on the other hand I can be the most warm-hearted person in the world. It's a killer combo! [What is this again? Talking herself down and qualifying in one go??]
Me: Yes, polarities are a killer combo indeed! I'll take my chances and see you tomorrow.
She: Where and when?
Me: In or near the center around seven. I'll text you tomorrow, where exactly ok
She: I have my boxing class and won't be ready yet at seven -_- 8 or a bit before yes
Me: That's fine. [and some joking about her boxing]
Day VII: The date
Me: Hey! Which direction are you coming from tonight?
She: From Blueberry Heights :| That's why it takes me a while to go home after my class and go back to the center
Me: Ok, let's simplify things a bit and meet at Blueberry or West End. Plus I get to explore some new hoods!
She: Ok that would be really cool! There are a few cool places at West End
The logistics
This is a crucial part of this date. I used to live in this city but I don't anymore and don't have a place to stay except for some family and hour's commute from downtown. Last option of getting back to my town was being at the station by 22:10 at the latest.
Best case scenario, Plan A, was to meet her, suss out her logistics and make a compelling case for heading back to her place, nail her and crash there for the night. Changing the meet up gave me more time to move things forward before having to decide whether to stay in town or head back home.
Beginning of the Date
I was a bit early at the venue, a restaurant-bar relatively close to her area, next to a channel – good looking area, options to walk and chill out later.
I chose the coziest corner seating I could find. What I liked about that particular table was that the seating was sofa and the most obvious way for us to be seated would be at 90 degrees. I don't really like seating facing over a table – in my opinion it feels a little bit too formal and it's impossible to get in those first light touches. Sitting side by side, on the other hand, isn't so good for eye-contact.
She sits down exactly where I assumed she would. Unfortunately, she placed her handbag and jacket between us. I'd prefer to be no physical objects between me and a the thigh of a beautiful woman I'm on a date with but ok
As to the conversation, sometimes it can be like squeezing water out of stone but this time things were fluid, fun and smooth. Effortless, really. In no time, she was telling me about her life, interest and family while also the energy level was high and I could set sexual frames.
Some highlights from the conversation
What would I have to do for you to punch me in the face?
Since she told me she was a boxer and we were joking about me having to be careful not to be punched in the face I asked her
"Ok, so what is the bare minimum that I would have to do or say to get you to punch me in the face here now?" She starts telling me about her personality and how she is level headed and wouldn’t really feel like she needed to punch anyone [effortless deep diving and she kind of qualifying herself to me as not being an aggro tomboy – good!]
So I ask her jokingly what if I had grabbed her ass while saying hello and hugging her when she came in. While avoiding bragging, I want the chicks to understand that I can be an aggressive guy and rule out any thoughts of me being a nice guy. I don't recall what she said exactly but she was playing along so the door for more intimate topics was open now as well.
We the Narcissists
We happened to be talking a bit about narcissism and l managed to create into this imagined story where are two narcissists and the only reason we enjoy each other's company is that we have this unique knack of awareness to let the other shine at appropriate times! And if there would be someone sitting next to us and listening they would be massively facepalming our vanity!
These plays of imagination I do with gusto, they feel right for me. And I think they work well, too for a few reasons. First, I say things about myself and about my attitude to her which will leave her wondering if it was said jokingly or am I using the plausible deniability to to say things I really mean. Also, I can paint vivid images of me and her in her head. So, there is the we-bubble. And more, there is the element of push and pull. At one point we were talking about her modelling, at the next one,I paint her as a delusional narcissist.
Why some people suck at learning a language is why some women can’t have orgasms
A bit later into the conversation we are talking about learning languages ans she mentions how some people learn a language for ages but are still not able to talk it. Out of the blue, stuff that I’ve been thinking and reading here at GC, a bunch of disparate threads, coalesce into a an idea.
Me: "You know why it happens? It's the same reason why some mature women can't have orgasms.
[Pause. She is looking at me curiously]
Me: It's a mental thing. Not able to let go. Having your defenses up.
[Previously, when were talking about languages I told her a story how I got a valuable learning lesson from Spanish teacher. A charming, intelligent guy who in the first classes would tactically be a bit clownish in front of the class. That got everyone to loosen up, be at ease and feel free to make mistakes and sound "stupid" until we got the difficult pronunciations right. And everybody eventually did. The point is that when I was telling the orgasm-language analogy story it didn't come out of the blue, I was actually relating back to what we already spoke of.]
That was the gist of the story. I can't recall how exactly I told it. Why I think it worked was a) sexual prizing and b) I was able to send seemingly mixed signals, thus adding more depth to her perception of my character. I am reasonably sexy and confident, I'm talking about female sexuality with almost an authoritative stance. But crucially when I go off in these intellectual tangents, I'm detached, analytical and reflective... not really what you'd associate with a fuckboy.
Me talking about other women
I did a similar thing when I talked about about how I had briefly dated an 18 yo chick when I was way older. I was talking about how mature she was bla bla and then went off into this tangent about how age is kind of relative and wondering why some people are so judgmental about it (important - sub communicating her that I don't judge)
Why did I approach you? I’m a straight guy!
At one point we’re talking about how I chatted her up in the grocery store and she kind inquired why I did it?
I paused, feigned to go into this reverie for a few seconds, then looked at her with a slow mischievous smile and a shrug “I’m a straight man. Nothing more much to say really”
Bouncing off from the venue
So these were the funnest part of the conversation. I also – how unfortunate – found out that she was temporarily staying with her parents after moving back from abroad. This made me consider burying Plan A and just take the occasion as an exercise to see how far I can escalate in this short amount of time I have to spare and sow the seeds for another date.
The bar was about to close so we ejected and I suggest we walk a bit. We were actually in the area where she planned to move to so she proactively suggested go check out that apartment building. Less work for me! I had a few drinks in my bag so I pulled those out.
Since time was getting tight for me, I told her let’s stop here, I should go back to my town tonight and have to sort out my tickets.
Her: Ah you have to go?
Me: Yeah, unless you want ot invite me to your parents house? [Jokingly]
Her: No, I can’t
Me: Yeah, your mom wouldn’t probably be to happy you bringing guys home
Her: Actually, I think my mom would be fine but my definitely wouldn’t be haha! If I’d have my own place, you could stay for sure!
Me: Cool
Her: But only on the sofa
The vibe is clear as the Saharan blue sky, there’s no misunderstanding, we are both into each other and she knows just as well as I do what the deal is. But still got to keep appearances so:
Me: [overly dramatic, joking] But of course, where else!!??
We end up walking to he courtyard of the apartment complex where she was planning to get an apartment. There was a swing-bench there… PERFECT…. so we go sit down there.
I go for the kiss, let my hands roam free over her body. We hang out there for a short while but I have to head to the station to catch my ride back home. On the way there, in the tram, referring back to my first ass-grabbing thing, I suddenly pull myself back while kissing her… tell her I need to check something out, flip her around and grab her ass and nod knowingly… “Yep, as good as it looks”.
I get my ride just in the nick of time. We text a bit after I get a chance to catch a breath and settle down.
THOUGHTS-QUESTIONS
Regards,
Rakkum
A FR of meeting a chick at the groceries out of town, not super promising start but got her out on a date which went surprisingly well but didn't manage to close partly due to challenging logistics.
My attire and looks
Dressed in tight blue jeans, cuffs rolled up, white socks with some red strips, black leather boots, tight black T-shirt, bright-yellow short-cut denim jacket with cuffs rolled up a bit, carrying a dark cylindrical leather duffel bag
Her
Slender body, moderate sized but good looking ass, long blonde hair, pretty face, a bit taller than me. Her dress at the date: A long dress (one of those thciker kinds that really accentuate the figure and add a bit of volume), black ballerinas and a faux-leater jacket.
Day I: Meet and grab her number
Visiting a city in a neighboring country approximately two hours away from where I live myself. I sed to live in that city, so I’m familiar with it. Wasn't there exactly to pick up women but always on the lookout for some number grabs during day time.
At around noon time at a grocery store I spot this blonde chick. True to the Scandinavian setting, she’s looking a bit aloof and cold. Anyhow, I decide to feel it out and and go approach her. Lately, I’ve been opening very casually, almost as if I’m their old friend – but without compromising on the sexy vibe.
Me: Heey!
Me: What's up?"
Can't recall exactly all what was said here. I'm half facing her, flickering between giving her my full attention and turning away. Some superficial fluff, where I'm from, what's it like there. What I'm doing in town - I tell her that I came to see some family.
She’s curious but not quite hooked at this point.
There is a lady standing behind her, wanting to make her way through but my girl is blocking her. I tell her someone is trying to pass. I guess this counts as breaking circle but then again, this is a normal thing to do in a situation like this. She makes way for the lady who is now between us and I can feel the awkward proxemics leaves her no option but to eject and go to the next aisle. I pause for a moment and casually go walk up her.
Me: You were saying..
Her: Some fluff about how somethings are different in my town.
We chat a bit, she stays engaged in the conversation but I feel the escalation window is closing fast so I go for the number grab.
Me: Listen, I got to be going, looks like you are in a bit of hurry as well..
[short pause]
Me: Been cool chatting with you, we should grab a few drinks together when I'm back in town.
She: But you have to promise me you won't be a creep. Like, I don't always answer right away.
Me: [laugh, playfully] Haha yeah, I'll be bombarding you one min after my first text why you so cold bitch, not answering my texts!!!!..
Me: But listen, same goes to you, no calling in the middle of the night, OK!!!
She. Like booty-calls..
Me: EXACTLY!!
I let her type her number to my phone. I send an ice-breaker text in the evening.
Me: Salut, Boxer!
Me: Save the number!
Me: -Rakkum
She: Bonasera, Rakkum!
She: If you say so -_-
Me: Relax, it wasn't like SAVE THE NUMBER ;D
She: Now it was!
She: asking about my relatives (kids) we talked about
Me: Of course they are good! You should instead ask me whether I am (joking here: referring to how much of an energy drain kids can be)
She: Makes a joke about me voluntarily spending time with kids
Me: Omg, a child hater!!
She: [Qualifies herself how she loves dogs instead].
Me and her: Some mildly witty semi-intellectual back and forth on.
She: So how many numbers did you get today?
Me: Two [this made me pause for a moment but I felt I was in a good groove and wanted to try something new, so I just replied with this platonic one]
No reply.
Day VI
Me: Now you tell me if that's a lot or not.
She: For a serial number-seeker no
Me: Haha! What about an average Joe going about his day?
She: I guess yea, bc some people don't get numbers on a daily basis.
She: But I got the vibes that you're a professional, so two numbers from random girls is not anything to cheer about
Me: Like a man ho?
She: I like that description
She: But hmm
She: The French have a good for this, un drageur.
[Goddamit, I had to google, this chick is teaching me booksmarts!
]Me: A flirt?
She: A guy who hits all them beautiful ladies with confidence!
Me: You managed to compliment us both in a single sentence!!
She: Yep
[More fluff about some things we spoke of before]
Me: Up for a drink tomorrow?
She: Man in town?
She: For warning, I am intolerable company, but if you want challenge your patience let's go [What does this mean, when an otherwise confident-seeming woman is talking like this about herself?]
Me: How intolerable?
She: I can be very annoying. But on the other hand I can be the most warm-hearted person in the world. It's a killer combo! [What is this again? Talking herself down and qualifying in one go??]
Me: Yes, polarities are a killer combo indeed! I'll take my chances and see you tomorrow.
She: Where and when?
Me: In or near the center around seven. I'll text you tomorrow, where exactly ok
She: I have my boxing class and won't be ready yet at seven -_- 8 or a bit before yes
Me: That's fine. [and some joking about her boxing]
Day VII: The date
Me: Hey! Which direction are you coming from tonight?
She: From Blueberry Heights :| That's why it takes me a while to go home after my class and go back to the center
Me: Ok, let's simplify things a bit and meet at Blueberry or West End. Plus I get to explore some new hoods!
She: Ok that would be really cool! There are a few cool places at West End
The logistics
This is a crucial part of this date. I used to live in this city but I don't anymore and don't have a place to stay except for some family and hour's commute from downtown. Last option of getting back to my town was being at the station by 22:10 at the latest.
Best case scenario, Plan A, was to meet her, suss out her logistics and make a compelling case for heading back to her place, nail her and crash there for the night. Changing the meet up gave me more time to move things forward before having to decide whether to stay in town or head back home.
Beginning of the Date
I was a bit early at the venue, a restaurant-bar relatively close to her area, next to a channel – good looking area, options to walk and chill out later.
I chose the coziest corner seating I could find. What I liked about that particular table was that the seating was sofa and the most obvious way for us to be seated would be at 90 degrees. I don't really like seating facing over a table – in my opinion it feels a little bit too formal and it's impossible to get in those first light touches. Sitting side by side, on the other hand, isn't so good for eye-contact.
She sits down exactly where I assumed she would. Unfortunately, she placed her handbag and jacket between us. I'd prefer to be no physical objects between me and a the thigh of a beautiful woman I'm on a date with but ok
As to the conversation, sometimes it can be like squeezing water out of stone but this time things were fluid, fun and smooth. Effortless, really. In no time, she was telling me about her life, interest and family while also the energy level was high and I could set sexual frames.
Some highlights from the conversation
What would I have to do for you to punch me in the face?
Since she told me she was a boxer and we were joking about me having to be careful not to be punched in the face I asked her
"Ok, so what is the bare minimum that I would have to do or say to get you to punch me in the face here now?" She starts telling me about her personality and how she is level headed and wouldn’t really feel like she needed to punch anyone [effortless deep diving and she kind of qualifying herself to me as not being an aggro tomboy – good!]
So I ask her jokingly what if I had grabbed her ass while saying hello and hugging her when she came in. While avoiding bragging, I want the chicks to understand that I can be an aggressive guy and rule out any thoughts of me being a nice guy. I don't recall what she said exactly but she was playing along so the door for more intimate topics was open now as well.
We the Narcissists
We happened to be talking a bit about narcissism and l managed to create into this imagined story where are two narcissists and the only reason we enjoy each other's company is that we have this unique knack of awareness to let the other shine at appropriate times! And if there would be someone sitting next to us and listening they would be massively facepalming our vanity!
These plays of imagination I do with gusto, they feel right for me. And I think they work well, too for a few reasons. First, I say things about myself and about my attitude to her which will leave her wondering if it was said jokingly or am I using the plausible deniability to to say things I really mean. Also, I can paint vivid images of me and her in her head. So, there is the we-bubble. And more, there is the element of push and pull. At one point we were talking about her modelling, at the next one,I paint her as a delusional narcissist.
Why some people suck at learning a language is why some women can’t have orgasms
A bit later into the conversation we are talking about learning languages ans she mentions how some people learn a language for ages but are still not able to talk it. Out of the blue, stuff that I’ve been thinking and reading here at GC, a bunch of disparate threads, coalesce into a an idea.
Me: "You know why it happens? It's the same reason why some mature women can't have orgasms.
[Pause. She is looking at me curiously]
Me: It's a mental thing. Not able to let go. Having your defenses up.
[Previously, when were talking about languages I told her a story how I got a valuable learning lesson from Spanish teacher. A charming, intelligent guy who in the first classes would tactically be a bit clownish in front of the class. That got everyone to loosen up, be at ease and feel free to make mistakes and sound "stupid" until we got the difficult pronunciations right. And everybody eventually did. The point is that when I was telling the orgasm-language analogy story it didn't come out of the blue, I was actually relating back to what we already spoke of.]
That was the gist of the story. I can't recall how exactly I told it. Why I think it worked was a) sexual prizing and b) I was able to send seemingly mixed signals, thus adding more depth to her perception of my character. I am reasonably sexy and confident, I'm talking about female sexuality with almost an authoritative stance. But crucially when I go off in these intellectual tangents, I'm detached, analytical and reflective... not really what you'd associate with a fuckboy.
Me talking about other women
I did a similar thing when I talked about about how I had briefly dated an 18 yo chick when I was way older. I was talking about how mature she was bla bla and then went off into this tangent about how age is kind of relative and wondering why some people are so judgmental about it (important - sub communicating her that I don't judge)
Why did I approach you? I’m a straight guy!
At one point we’re talking about how I chatted her up in the grocery store and she kind inquired why I did it?
I paused, feigned to go into this reverie for a few seconds, then looked at her with a slow mischievous smile and a shrug “I’m a straight man. Nothing more much to say really”
Bouncing off from the venue
So these were the funnest part of the conversation. I also – how unfortunate – found out that she was temporarily staying with her parents after moving back from abroad. This made me consider burying Plan A and just take the occasion as an exercise to see how far I can escalate in this short amount of time I have to spare and sow the seeds for another date.
The bar was about to close so we ejected and I suggest we walk a bit. We were actually in the area where she planned to move to so she proactively suggested go check out that apartment building. Less work for me! I had a few drinks in my bag so I pulled those out.
Since time was getting tight for me, I told her let’s stop here, I should go back to my town tonight and have to sort out my tickets.
Her: Ah you have to go?
Me: Yeah, unless you want ot invite me to your parents house? [Jokingly]
Her: No, I can’t
Me: Yeah, your mom wouldn’t probably be to happy you bringing guys home
Her: Actually, I think my mom would be fine but my definitely wouldn’t be haha! If I’d have my own place, you could stay for sure!
Me: Cool
Her: But only on the sofa
The vibe is clear as the Saharan blue sky, there’s no misunderstanding, we are both into each other and she knows just as well as I do what the deal is. But still got to keep appearances so:
Me: [overly dramatic, joking] But of course, where else!!??
We end up walking to he courtyard of the apartment complex where she was planning to get an apartment. There was a swing-bench there… PERFECT…. so we go sit down there.
I go for the kiss, let my hands roam free over her body. We hang out there for a short while but I have to head to the station to catch my ride back home. On the way there, in the tram, referring back to my first ass-grabbing thing, I suddenly pull myself back while kissing her… tell her I need to check something out, flip her around and grab her ass and nod knowingly… “Yep, as good as it looks”.
I get my ride just in the nick of time. We text a bit after I get a chance to catch a breath and settle down.
THOUGHTS-QUESTIONS
- As usual when getting in the approaches – they rarely look friendly in the beginning, possibly a cultural thing in harsher climates such mine
- I’m quite confident if I’d had better logistics, this would be a LR. I could have stayed around, amp the vibe and see if I could nail her somewhere in the wild or make her change mind about bringing me back to her parents place. But I wasn’t convinced in my ability to pull it off. I do tend to get last minute resistance occasionally and she was giving me enough token resistance that I decided not to gamble this time
- Now I don’t know what to think about this girl’s personality. She has some booksmarts, looks good, is well dressed and groomed, seems well-off but she was qualifying herself a lot and seemed a bit try-hard in the way she conversed. What to think about it
- Should I be worried about being called a friggin serial number-seeker?? When I was kissing her, she was giving me some token resistance and I think it’s precisely because I have this player-vibe going on despite off-setting it with the conversational things I did. Not the first time when someone guesses I’m a player
- I will try to set up another meet with her. Not quite sure now in what way and how much to be texting.
- I’m glad to see I have managed to internalize some of Alek’s sex-talk principles and make something, even though not perfect, out of them in a spontaneous manner
- Should have I been bolder, taken the chances and get her to change her mind and sneak me into hher parent’s place or try to go for the lay somewhere in the wild??
Regards,
Rakkum
