Yesterday I was at this business mixer event and have had one of the top socially savvy reactions I've had in a while.
It was 3 people including me in a semi-circle when thist 4th guy arrived, let's call him Smug.
Smug is a friend of the organizer (something which often gives an added sense of "power") and was the friend of one of the other guy in the circle.
Smug was the only one wearing dar sunglasses and he loudly greeted his friend, stopping the conversation among us (notice: "loudly" and stopping the conversation is already socially inconsiderate and screams "here I am, give me attention, I'm top dog").
He was bigger and taller than all of us, certainly more than I am even though that's no major feat
.
After greeting his friend he introduces himself to the 2nd guy and then with me: strong handshake of the kind that go beyond firm into "way too much power" (read: I'm powerful, I'm top dog here").
I tell my name with loud enough voice as we are still shaking hands (and don't reciprocate his handshake energy level). He doesn't catch my name and now comes the move which goes overboard: he pulls my hand in asking to repeat.
He puts quite some power so that my body bends towards him (read: I'm top dog around here, I physically move people around).
I dig in and put some power as well so he also has to bend a bit.
I re-state my name once again and as soon as we let go of each other's hands I place my move.
The atmosphere was very good and friendly among us before he joined, so a joke was perfect.
With good posture I look at him straight in what should be his eyes beyond the dark sunglasses and say loudly, confidently and slow enough everyone can hear it clearly:
"Hey man, I hope you don't wanna take me home or something".
(read: I registered your move, I didn't like it and I'm making it clear for you and everyone else to know. And I'm also jokingly implying you're gay and you like me and I'm not into that)
As we all laugh he pulls back saying "No I just wanted to hear your name" (notice "just" is a defensive word, and "wanted to hear your name" is quite a friendly overture ).
(Blunt) Power move deflected and, even though "one upping" is not my goal and an overall childish mindset to have, this was effectively what happened.
It was 3 people including me in a semi-circle when thist 4th guy arrived, let's call him Smug.
Smug is a friend of the organizer (something which often gives an added sense of "power") and was the friend of one of the other guy in the circle.
Smug was the only one wearing dar sunglasses and he loudly greeted his friend, stopping the conversation among us (notice: "loudly" and stopping the conversation is already socially inconsiderate and screams "here I am, give me attention, I'm top dog").
He was bigger and taller than all of us, certainly more than I am even though that's no major feat
.After greeting his friend he introduces himself to the 2nd guy and then with me: strong handshake of the kind that go beyond firm into "way too much power" (read: I'm powerful, I'm top dog here").
I tell my name with loud enough voice as we are still shaking hands (and don't reciprocate his handshake energy level). He doesn't catch my name and now comes the move which goes overboard: he pulls my hand in asking to repeat.
He puts quite some power so that my body bends towards him (read: I'm top dog around here, I physically move people around).
I dig in and put some power as well so he also has to bend a bit.
I re-state my name once again and as soon as we let go of each other's hands I place my move.
The atmosphere was very good and friendly among us before he joined, so a joke was perfect.
With good posture I look at him straight in what should be his eyes beyond the dark sunglasses and say loudly, confidently and slow enough everyone can hear it clearly:
"Hey man, I hope you don't wanna take me home or something".
(read: I registered your move, I didn't like it and I'm making it clear for you and everyone else to know. And I'm also jokingly implying you're gay and you like me and I'm not into that)
As we all laugh he pulls back saying "No I just wanted to hear your name" (notice "just" is a defensive word, and "wanted to hear your name" is quite a friendly overture ).
(Blunt) Power move deflected and, even though "one upping" is not my goal and an overall childish mindset to have, this was effectively what happened.
