The Ugly Side of Entitlement and "Staying Relevant"

[trashKENNUT]

I think everyone has a certain degree of wanting to stay relevant. In Dating, we talk about seeking approval. It is the just about the same as staying relevant. The problem with staying relevant is that it's a human need for us to want to be cared for, loved upon. and people will get aggressive at times.

Given examples:

1) Guys who keep talking and talking about how they "owned" a place and you should check the place out with him
2) Grandparents who keep talking and insisting about the past, the word 'respect' and how economy is bad (when it has been good and change)
3) If you happen to be superstars and fans want you to smile at them all the time. and you can't show a tired face.
4) How government always money from society and not give back. (although this is sometimes true, lolx)
5) Salesman who keep insisting on certain products when it's not what you desire.

It is a human need for humans to want to be cared for and loved upon. We are and always will be about ourselves. How do calibrate this so that we won't seek approval and entitlement? How do we not be like those people who keep insisting on things to people, things that are not relevant? How do we really have a life?

People who experience near death experience realize this, and snap out of it. They no longer try to stay relevant. (Perhaps we all should stand in the middle of a road)

People like to talk about themselves, and everyone is always about themselves, and at times, they will use laws or 'respect' or 'truths' and it can be that ugly.

Zac

 

[Richard]

Exactly right Zac, the majority of people are self-centered, living for the approval of others, and seeking a feeling of importance. This is a generally subconscious problem, and unless a person is strong enough (most aren't) to truly judge yourself, to accept your own flaws and issues, then this lifestyle will never change for most people. Its quite sad that more people can't take interest in and live to help other people, its actually a key to a positively happy life

 

[trashKENNUT]

the majority of people are self-centered, living for the approval of others, and seeking a feeling of importance.

I don't disagree with you but self-centered is a too strong of word. I do feel that everyone wants to feel important.

to accept your own flaws and issues, then this lifestyle will never change for most people.

Exactly, I am figuring out a way, if humans can accept their flaws and understand their own biasness. I would have to admit, it is close to impossible.

1) Mind patterns.
2) Upbringing
3) Beliefs
4) Where they think they going/believe and Where they actually are/do

Everyone's above points is different, So i can kill myself now. Haha!

Its quite sad that more people can't take interest in and live to help other people, its actually a key to a positively happy life

Most people do help people and they expect people to change but the thing is, how does one think he can change a situation and a person, when he doesn't understand a situation and the person?

and that term "Understand" is complex as to why, what, who.

That's a hard thing to do, and learn, Zphix. You are right, It's key to living positive but we must learn.

Zac

 

[Richard]

As I said it takes a strong person to truly look at themselves individually and its in a regular humans nature to over-validate themselves, and find excuses for their actual errors and wrong-doings/weaknesses/biases whatever they may be. Aside from myself, I've met only about 4 people who were able to look within themselves unbiasedly.
Arguably, I disagree with your last point. I've met very few people who look to help other people without expecting some reciprocation, in my studies, and in my life, I've known probably 4 people including myself who actively sought to help others. The majority of the time people will walk past someone in need, and aren't willing to make petty sacrifices to help others, but this is a major driving force behind me choosing to specialize in therapy, so I can help other people.

 

[trashKENNUT]

As I said it takes a strong person to truly look at themselves individually and its in a regular humans nature to over-validate themselves, and find excuses for their actual errors and wrong-doings/weaknesses/biases whatever they may be. Aside from myself, I've met only about 4 people who were able to look within themselves unbiasedly.
Arguably, I disagree with your last point. I've met very few people who look to help other people without expecting some reciprocation, in my studies, and in my life, I've known probably 4 people including myself who actively sought to help others. The majority of the time people will walk past someone in need, and aren't willing to make petty sacrifices to help others, but this is a major driving force behind me choosing to specialize in therapy, so I can help other people.

I cannot say on your case on people who help other people and if it does work. But i do know that a lot of the people who help out there also tend to help because they think they are "right". And it is not the term "right" is the obstacle. It takes one to know where the other person is at, and it's another to know that he needs to separate himself from the student.

And this is where i see the difference between great teachers and the good teachers.

Zac

 

[Richard]

I see where you're coming from Zac, and yes, a lot of people do help acting under the assumption that they can "help" without knowing the situation as you've stated. In my life however, I listen attentively before offering therapy/advice, but I can only speak for myself because I've found that I tend to act much differently than the "average joe."

 

[trashKENNUT]

I see where you're coming from Zac, and yes, a lot of people do help acting under the assumption that they can "help" without knowing the situation as you've stated. In my life however, I listen attentively before offering therapy/advice, but I can only speak for myself because I've found that I tend to act much differently than the "average joe."

Make myself correct,

People can help, Everyone can, It's a matter of knowing where the student is and how the student views things. Don't worry about it.

Zac