the way of disciple

[disciple99]

hell gone on a little trip to mall to practice I had two hours to practice.
when I reach mall I see lots of girls but I did not found any girl whom I could approach. most were in groups of 5-6
or with their boyfriends wearing same colored dresses(yuck who does that)
and who were in group of 2 mostly suck looks wise. wtf I thought to my self then went to a clothes store tried some dress and come even after 45 min no cute girl was there. then I went to mall's grocery market. looked at a girl few years older than me and opened holding two random items
me:hey can I cook anything with these
she: huu, I don't know
me:hey, I am not that hopeless
then she going with polite smile
me:hey you are cute
she gone
conclusion BIG FAT REJECTION
now not finding any singles cute girl
I lowered my standards as low as I could.
gone to girl standing in front of clothe store I was having approach anxiety much more from previous failed attempt
so I hovered around her than said red top will look good on you.
she: huu, WHO are YOU
I looked at her got afraid said sorry an gone away from there then wasted mine half hour using WiFi and crying inside my heart.
conclusion never lower standard rejection will hurt more from it.
Now gonna go again mall on Monday but with a friend and only gonna only say hi

 

[disciple99]

its funny whatever happened with me second girl was may be in bad mood or I rubbed her in wrong way and she was very bad looks wise normally I would not look at girl like her but still feeling bad from her "who are you" statement.

 

[disciple99]

hey now i have make up my mind to go out with sole poupose of getting skill needed to band chicks why because life is short and why to waste it hehe and i have 3 month to get good game because i am gonna be in college
i have a problem as i am stuck in outskirt of my city and i dont see any girls of my age but thats not a reason to go out.
i am going out from last three days
day1 it was just a walk didnt see any girl but shake rust asked time two times to guys kinda pussy
day2 when i walked out of ma home seen a old lady with a dog i gave her a smile and asked question about dog i wanted to make a small talk but she was in hurry than i was ready to talk a girl but i didnt find any
today just pure walk seen some girls some girls checked me out but i was a peice of vanila soaked pussy and didnt make eye contact
conclusion
my walk and clothes are good but can improve
tomorrow make eye contact until other party breaks it
and make talk with any one until other party ejects
DONT SLACK ON JOURNALISING
STUDY FOR EXAM

 

[disciple99]

yesterday : first i went to walmart with ma papa their were chicks but they were with their dad and me with my so nothing much than on evening i went as i am going from few days but i was in not mood than i didnt saw many people on road than i got in a road of colony where there were shops so i see some people than a girl approach me she was my classmate a by looks she a troll a fatty she asks me am i taking a walk i was about talk she cut me and say do you know na exam than i say hu and eject.
than i met a pal talk bout exam and go further now i had momentum then i remember about making eye contact see some girls but on other lane/side of road than i look at one but she was busy talking. than i notice some girls looking at me and when i start to notice me i start to see more and more chicks look at me than again road went blank out of people later i try to make eye contact with men most break it themselve but with one guy it went weird so i smile and hows it going still weird so i go thats all.

 

[disciple99]

conclusion for yesterday
i think i am fairly attractive and my walk is good.
i need to build my comfort around chicks so i need to talk to girl how bad they are personlty wise or looks wise.
i thin i will take baby setps not like the first time in which i get overconfident and approched girls and went to cave to lick my wounds after two approach+ rejections.

 

[disciple99]

i learned something new that if i want to see true social anxiety and check just go to any place with large crowd cute gals and where people know you.
i can go in good dress ironed and all anywhere and talk to people but take out dress and you are in your real place.
now i am gonna practice with this element more to get rid of remaining social anxiety but after i learn to handel my voice and conversation

 

[disciple99]

bcoz of yesterdays incident today my anxiety levels at start of class went unusually high but bcoz of them i learned better to control my posture learned more bout it and from mid to end i went super chill and more aware.so i will go out in bad dress for expirence and learning to practice to manage my SA.
also i learned more bout naturals their development is a process which occour at early teenage years and most of them i have seen are also friendly and extrovert and fairly athletic i understand something more but cant put in words but they push their to fun and are fairly hedonistic.
hey if anyone reading this know more about naturals or obsevered one and my obsevation contradict or know bout one who is introvert
please feel free to drop info. here.