This week...
Sunday: third meet with late 40's devout Catholic with strong internal frame I'm not bothering to address. second nude makeout at her place, this time with extended fingering.
Monday: first ever double-lay in a day (both repeats)
Tuesday: crickets
Wednesday: the usual backseat makeout with early 30's lovestruck girl (no lay yet)
Thursday: 18th ever lay (this report)
Friday: picked up late 20's girl for park walk, dropped off and asked to use the bathroom, went inside and failed
Saturday: fifth date with mid 30's girl (no lay yet due to logistics; she's asked for it and has already gone in and out of mild auto-rejection twice. we're decently close friends now; I occasionally kiss/grab/spank her.
Sunday: repeat of one of the Monday women
----------
Thursday lay report (mid-30’s girl):
This took a while of Tinder messaging, but was fairly efficient while requiring non-needy persistence from match to meet.
First part over three days, alternating me/her:
-told her in a friendly tone to tell me about astrology
-she asks my details (hers was posted and I knew we're a good astrology fit)
-made her promise not to say no to date due to results but could say no to other reasons
-laugh/deal
-told her to tell me
-very compatible
-let's get together
...4 message pairs of logistics and work history (she initiated ask, turned to dive on her, ended with re-ask)
-she gives two day choice of availability
-I get trigger happy and propose coffee date or cook at her place
She went silent (no previous sexual frame) and changed her profile to looking for long term
Waited five days, then I messaged again saying I may have thrown her for a loop and that I've always been single and believe you should probably be in love before committing. I said I'd like to get to know her and proposed coffee again.
Three days later (after weekend), she says she's free for drinks if I still want to get together. I propose the next day (bad idea - she goes silent again, but I actually only had time for that day due to other dates, so couldn't explain or ask her schedule).
Two days later I tell her I don't drink but am cool with her doing so, but we'd have to meet near her since I'm not letting her drive after, or we could do coffee (should have reversed order of options).
She chooses drinks (set for the next day), told her to text me with a question mark
-she texts her name
-time logistics
-says she's working from home
-say I'll meet her there and she can show me where she wants to hang
-says I can't come in cause it's not clean
-told her I couldn’t care less about mess, no judgement, and told her to send me her address with a question mark
-friendly confirmation message pair
-ten minutes out I ask if I can use her bathroom before we go
-she says lol it's fine but don't look at the mess
I ring the doorbell and start deep diving immediately for maybe two minutes then use the bathroom. I come out and keep deep diving in the kitchen. There's a moment of "it's on" eye contact (slight devilish smile on her part I perhaps should have called out? I decided (or wimped out) to go for the deep diving since the frame was still a date, and hey, I was already in her place. I never got the feeling of a missed escalation window. I'm sure there was a way forward at that moment, but there was no real connection yet, which I think was valuable to the experience and likely eventual retention.
She's a social girl and happily chatting all about herself. She asks if I want to go out and I say or we could just chat here. She agrees and we sit on the couch. We converse for about an hour, 90% her talking about herself, still asking about me I keep brief and turn back.
I figured fast escalation would introduce ASD risk, so went for connection building as much as possible to build her comfort. With no pulling or isolation to deal with, I didn't feel stuck or set back. I didn't really flirt or set a sexual frame. Remember, I haven't had a real date lead to sex in a decade... I've had several deep diving dates now though. With past lays there was expectation of sex on arrival.
She's drinking just a little wine. Over time she gets me more sparkling waters and we each use the bathroom. With each transition, I move closer to her spot and eventually move the pillow between us away.
We are talking about languages and I briefly mention the only French I know is the line from Moulin Rouge meaning will you sleep with me. Shortly after we are talking about Justin Bieber and Spanish so she looks up the Despocito song translation (something about slowly undressing).
She proposes we watch the music video which I then learn is her excuse to have us sit close and she puts a blanket over us. I talk about how family friendly the video is until it heats up, like “oh there it is”. She’s laughing and rests her head on me. Within two minutes I kiss her, make out, and unzip her pants. Within a couple of seconds of touching, I start to lift her shirt and she proposes moving to her bedroom.
As she’s walking toward the bed I yank her pants and panties down fast together. She gets on the bed and let’s me pull them off at the ankles without any resistance. She then takes her bra off and gets under the covers.
After sex, she tries to get me to sleep over (I would have, but couldn't) and talks about me coming back.
So I still don't have recent experience with a one-meet date/pull/lay. Oh well.
Sunday: third meet with late 40's devout Catholic with strong internal frame I'm not bothering to address. second nude makeout at her place, this time with extended fingering.
Monday: first ever double-lay in a day (both repeats)
Tuesday: crickets
Wednesday: the usual backseat makeout with early 30's lovestruck girl (no lay yet)
Thursday: 18th ever lay (this report)
Friday: picked up late 20's girl for park walk, dropped off and asked to use the bathroom, went inside and failed
Saturday: fifth date with mid 30's girl (no lay yet due to logistics; she's asked for it and has already gone in and out of mild auto-rejection twice. we're decently close friends now; I occasionally kiss/grab/spank her.
Sunday: repeat of one of the Monday women
----------
Thursday lay report (mid-30’s girl):
This took a while of Tinder messaging, but was fairly efficient while requiring non-needy persistence from match to meet.
First part over three days, alternating me/her:
-told her in a friendly tone to tell me about astrology
-she asks my details (hers was posted and I knew we're a good astrology fit)
-made her promise not to say no to date due to results but could say no to other reasons
-laugh/deal
-told her to tell me
-very compatible
-let's get together
...4 message pairs of logistics and work history (she initiated ask, turned to dive on her, ended with re-ask)
-she gives two day choice of availability
-I get trigger happy and propose coffee date or cook at her place
She went silent (no previous sexual frame) and changed her profile to looking for long term
Waited five days, then I messaged again saying I may have thrown her for a loop and that I've always been single and believe you should probably be in love before committing. I said I'd like to get to know her and proposed coffee again.
Three days later (after weekend), she says she's free for drinks if I still want to get together. I propose the next day (bad idea - she goes silent again, but I actually only had time for that day due to other dates, so couldn't explain or ask her schedule).
Two days later I tell her I don't drink but am cool with her doing so, but we'd have to meet near her since I'm not letting her drive after, or we could do coffee (should have reversed order of options).
She chooses drinks (set for the next day), told her to text me with a question mark
-she texts her name
-time logistics
-says she's working from home
-say I'll meet her there and she can show me where she wants to hang
-says I can't come in cause it's not clean
-told her I couldn’t care less about mess, no judgement, and told her to send me her address with a question mark
-friendly confirmation message pair
-ten minutes out I ask if I can use her bathroom before we go
-she says lol it's fine but don't look at the mess
I ring the doorbell and start deep diving immediately for maybe two minutes then use the bathroom. I come out and keep deep diving in the kitchen. There's a moment of "it's on" eye contact (slight devilish smile on her part I perhaps should have called out? I decided (or wimped out) to go for the deep diving since the frame was still a date, and hey, I was already in her place. I never got the feeling of a missed escalation window. I'm sure there was a way forward at that moment, but there was no real connection yet, which I think was valuable to the experience and likely eventual retention.
She's a social girl and happily chatting all about herself. She asks if I want to go out and I say or we could just chat here. She agrees and we sit on the couch. We converse for about an hour, 90% her talking about herself, still asking about me I keep brief and turn back.
I figured fast escalation would introduce ASD risk, so went for connection building as much as possible to build her comfort. With no pulling or isolation to deal with, I didn't feel stuck or set back. I didn't really flirt or set a sexual frame. Remember, I haven't had a real date lead to sex in a decade... I've had several deep diving dates now though. With past lays there was expectation of sex on arrival.
She's drinking just a little wine. Over time she gets me more sparkling waters and we each use the bathroom. With each transition, I move closer to her spot and eventually move the pillow between us away.
We are talking about languages and I briefly mention the only French I know is the line from Moulin Rouge meaning will you sleep with me. Shortly after we are talking about Justin Bieber and Spanish so she looks up the Despocito song translation (something about slowly undressing).
She proposes we watch the music video which I then learn is her excuse to have us sit close and she puts a blanket over us. I talk about how family friendly the video is until it heats up, like “oh there it is”. She’s laughing and rests her head on me. Within two minutes I kiss her, make out, and unzip her pants. Within a couple of seconds of touching, I start to lift her shirt and she proposes moving to her bedroom.
As she’s walking toward the bed I yank her pants and panties down fast together. She gets on the bed and let’s me pull them off at the ankles without any resistance. She then takes her bra off and gets under the covers.
After sex, she tries to get me to sleep over (I would have, but couldn't) and talks about me coming back.
So I still don't have recent experience with a one-meet date/pull/lay. Oh well.
Last edited: