The Winner Effect and its Influence on Personality

[Bboy100]

Ok, so I've noticed that my personality fluctuates a lot. On some days I'll be:

-Cocky/Arrogant (in an attractive way)
-Outoing/Charming
-Have a very good, likable energy about me
-Very confident and dominant
...and so fourth.

On other days I will be:

-"Bland" and "Boring" (i.e. I'll have nothing of interest to say or contribute to a conversation)
- Low energy
- Introverted
- Cold/Standoffish (not on purpose!)
- My energy is neutral or sometimes even repels people
- Anxious

At first, I thought this was because I had a good deal of anxiety which plagued most my conversations. But I feel that I've mostly taken care of it now. But this fluctuation in persona still exists.

So my thought is that maybe this has to do with the my testosterone levels and "the winner effect". Perhaps the days on which I'm outgoing, I've had some "wins" which I'm unaware of, thereby instilling a temporary sense of high confidence. Whereas on most days, I've either neither won nor lost, or have lost, leaving me with this a much less desirable, less likable personality.

Does this sound right to you guys? Are there any other causes for why there might be such an abrupt change in personality?

If you're unfamiliar with the winner effect, see: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... ner-effect

 

[Smith]

BBoy,

I have experience this too, but I don't think it's due to the winner's effect alone (which I think is mainly about being dominant). I think when stuff like that happens, it's just me reverting back to my old habits, since I've been introverted, anxious,...etc. for a majority of my life, so that would probably be my 'baseline' (or comfort zone). It won't be easy to undo your old conditioning because you're probably more comfortable to be in that state. Right now, I'm trying to get rid of negativity, but somedays it's hard! There will be days where I'm extremely happy and outgoing because I'm being really positive, but it fluctuates especially when I become negative again.

So I think you just need to figure out what gets you into that good state and create habits that will consistently put you there. Of course, going out a lot and get "wins" would make you more dominant, but IMO it would be also better if you can somehow put yourself in a good positive mood without the need to get "wins".

 

[Lover]

Guys,

It's unnatural for the body to be in the same mood all the time. You need to be negative/moody/angry someitmes. You could in a metaphoric way say that the principle of dualism applies to your mood: you can't be positive without knowing how to be negative. You can't win if you don't know what it's like to lose. Without darkness there would be no light. I guess you get the idea. Personality fluctation is normal. But think about it this way: it doesn't matter if you go out cold approaching whether you're in a good or bad mood because sometimes you can't control it. The important thing is that you just get out approaching.

Usually, three internal factors can influence your present personality: your thoughts, your body language and facial expressions (and of course, your mood can also influence the other factors - it's like a square where all factors influence each other). Example: if I asked you to really imagine yourself seducing a sexy girl succesfully.. just think about it for a few seconds.. would you then notice the shift that maybe happened in these factors? You might be smiling sexy, make your back a little more straight and even feel like a sexy man. Why did this happen? Because you thought about an ideal pickup scenario. But maybe nothing happened, and your mood remained the same. The point here is, you will still experience times where you will be negative whether you try to control the internal factors. This can't be helped, and you should just accept this fact.

Also, two external factors (that I can think of) influence your personality: your diet and your sleep pattern. I guess this need no explanation.

I wouldn't think of testosterone and the winner effect as factors that shift your personality per se. These factors purely help you going for more wins, but going for more wins aren't always connected to your personality. Experiencing the winner effect might lead to certain personality traits (aggressiveness in particular), but in the end it makes you want to win more.

My former taekwondo instructor who is also a mentor to me, said that "when you feel in a bad mood, you might as well take it to the next level. When you practice or work out, be in that negative mood and exaggerate it. Find your worst self, and use that negative energy to get the job done. Trust me, you will feel a lot better afterwards." And every time I did this, I felt better.

My dad also said to me a long time ago that many leaders/bosses actually do stuff like this, example: they would go boxing in the mornings to get rid of that negative energy. And I actually believe that leaders/bosses/other high status men, in one way or another, use this kind of "hacks" to get rid of their negative energies.

So don't think badly of your personality fluctation. It's the most natural thing that can happen to you, and just accept that it can sometimes be out of your control

 

[ProblemSolving]

You're overall mood has very little to do with the success of an approach. You can feel like crap and approach a chick and discover that she's super excited to meet you - her positive energy lifts you up. The fact that you're taking action also lifts you up despite the outcome. Conversely, you can feel like a million bucks and approach a girl that ultimately goes nowhere. As long as you're taking and action and approaching, you will get results.

Your mood definitely plays a role in the amount of action you take. When you're in a negative head space your brain will think of a million reasons NOT to take action and approach. When you're in a positive head space you're brain will think of a million reasons TO take action and approach. So the question is, what do you do when you're thinking like a loser?

You have to take action anyway. Recognize that you're thinking like a pussy for no reason. Start small, ask for directions, anything that gets you taking action. Once you're taking action your mood sorts itself out.

 

[Rage]

Hey bboy

I know what you're talking about its something different than mood that you're talking about; I've experienced it too and wrote about it here in my journal viewtopic.php?f=15&t=12136 called it the inventor mind vs the seducer mind

Mood and emotions and other things aside, there is some relation I think between test levels demeanor and interest then and who you are and what you want to do then.

I experience noticed shifts here since I've abstained much more from porn; and also how I am before orgasm and after orgasm. Other things like if you've been gettin sleep or food factor in too somehow. I'm just aware of all these effects vaguely and notice the shifts in myself but am not sure of the why of it all that much.

Sorry that can't be of more help than that; am curious what others think though

 

[Bboy100]

Thanks guys! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one like this. I guess it's pretty normal. I just haven't really noticed it with people I know IRL. But maybe I'm just not paying attention. haha