There is an alpha who doesn't like me

[Phillyeagles99]

So I am on my high school football team and the quarterback is pretty small but he has an alpha personality and I would consider him the alpha male of the team.

I am a fairly talented athlete and the best receiver on the team but I have to hang around with this kid everyday and he doesn't like me and I feel like I find myself becoming quieter and more of an outsider each day and I am around them every day for practice and I honestly have a less outspoken and possibly wimpy personality.

I want to be alpha and popular again. Please give me any advice, knowledge, or wisdom you can offer to me. This will be much appreciated, and I know I will get great responces from this community and be mean if you feel you need to in your answer.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Just because two people don't like each other doesn't mean they can't respect each other.

How do you know he doesn't like you? Does he bully you?

You will probably have to confront him at some point however I'm not a expert in this area to take advice from.

 

[Phillyeagles99]

Just because two people don't like each other doesn't mean they can't respect each other.

How do you know he doesn't like you? Does he bully you?

You will probably have to confront him at some point however I'm not a expert in this area to take advice from.

He doesn't bully me but he tries to act like it doesn't matter when I make great plays and I think it even annoys him when I do, and he makes it clear that he doesn't want me there and he makes me think I don't matter to the team. We used to be best friends and now he treats me like a loser sometimes. I feel like if I stand up for myself he will talk behind my back and he has a huge influence on other people.

 

[Drck]

Fight. Be assertive. It seems that he is threatened, he feels competition, that's why he doesn't like you. "Alpha's" usually don't like each other because they have to compete, they have to keep proving to others that they are the best. Some do it the right way, others behind your back...

Fight, compete, do your best - and not a single negative word about him...

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

He sees you as competition.

Two courses of actions:

1. Call him out the next time he tools you. I'd say be prepared to fight him if need be, and most likely he'll back down. I've stood up to some pretty fucking intimidating dudes and none of them have actually swung when it came down to the wire.

2. Ignore him and live as a loner.

It doesn't sound like he's going to tolerate a Beta or Gamma, since he's retarded and doesn't understand how social groups work. He'll eventually piss off someone enough with this attitude to warrant a dethroning, but you gotta make a choice. High school is very In or Out. There's not much room for half-measures, since kids that age aren't attuned to moderation and tend to extremes (i.e., stereotypes).

- Hector

 

[mb1]

If nothing else, remember the Law of Least Effort. Let him expend energy and be like water. Perhaps allow his alpha status and adopt a position of sigma (outside of the system). Engage with several other teammates within an external social arena, and his stature within the football system erodes.

 

[mb1]

I want to be alpha and popular again.

Again, this says you need to think less of him and more of your interactions with the others, especially outside his realm. I believe Hector's right saying you either challenge him or admit defeat, though this is scoped within the football system.

If you build allegiances, his tooling could be taken care of by the group, which is far more efficient and higher status from your position. This would actually be challenging as in Hector' first option, though in a more silent-but-deadly way. Remember that neither of you decides who is alpha unless it actually escalates to a physical fight (in which case you both risk losing the position). It's the others in the social group who do.

If you're giving value to the others socially and he's the one simply tooling you out of preemptive fear, the people will topple him.

Host a party. Maybe even invite him. However, I'd do this more along the lines of getting as close to the other guys during class time and off the field as possible (like grabbing a drink with whoever's in earshot heading to the parking lot).

 

[HellAtlantic]

I think you need to be loud during practices. Draw attention to yourself while making plays. If you're too quiet during social settings then increase the volume during athletics and let that be your way of showing your "alpha-ness".