This is the worst thing that has happened to me since I started
In a nut shell - I met the absolute most perfect girl for me and have absolutely NO chance of seducing her..
So I've had a list of a 100 things that would make the perfect girl for me. And after 5-6 years (since I started with my list) I found her and she covers everything. And I mean everything. Considering that i made this list about looks, personality, sexuality knowing full well that all those things in a single girl are impossible. And yet
looks:
- age - 20 - check
- body type - very in shape - check
- butt - perfect shape and size - check
- skin colour - pale white (i don't like dark skin or tanned so the really white - porcelain that looks amazing and is perfect) - check
- eye colour - beautifully grey eyes - check
- hair length and type - really thick, wavy, mid back length - check
- hair colour - most amazing blue(richest most amazing full blue haired girl not looking trashy, i mean the most amazing, rich shade of blue you can imagine) - check
- lips - the perfect shape/thickness
- voice the perfect high but soft pitched
- talking exactly the way I love (using certain words and expressions)
- really funny and with great sense of humour
- silly at times and makes super cute faces
- is super sexual - I mean when she turns it on, she makes the most experienced man-killer look like a prude
- super sexually open and kinky - in conversation here are some of the toys she has: handcuffs, a few vibrators, different kinds of dildos, butt paddle cause she loves her butt slapped with it, butt plugs cause she likes a bit of anal play,
- has lots of sexy lingerie and loves wearing it
- is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend that they have sex together from time to time
- is open for everything in the bedroom from what we talked about
- the best part after sex if you make her cum 3 times she said she passes out from exhaustion and is no condition to talk, so you can just both fall asleep
- is super cute but also wildly sexy/erotic I have no idea how she mixes those two together but it drives me crazy
- she's the shy-excited type that made me fill up with so much good energy (and I'm usually very dark and look at the world as a dark place)
- there are lots of other things like her world views and future plans and ambitions but I'm not getting into those cause it'll get to long.
And here's where my horror begins:
[/size]For the past week
- it's so bad that I haven't been able to look at another girl and feel any sort of attraction.
- I passed opportunities to have sex with 2 of the girls that I'm friends with benefits and they almost begged me to fuck them.
- I can't get an erection unless I'm imagining her
- have absolutely no motivation to go out and even talk to another girl
- even tried some porn with super attractive girls... and not even an erection
- she must have literally 1000 guys approach her every single day - she's that attractive I mean she makes Victorias Secret models look like Turkish lesbians
- she has some rich guys that buy and send her expensive lingerie/jewellery. Some live in other continents and they send her this stuff..
- I see absolutely no reason why she's single - she can have a movie star probably is she wanted to
- And for the cherry on top for all of you that say: just forget it and don't get mixed with her - There is absolutely no chance that I see of me seducing her. She's just so out of my league... Maybe if I was like a billionaire with a 350 foot yacht and looked like a GQ model with a 12 inch penis and has lots of fame..
I've never really felt that I couldn't get a girl soo much(or thought that those things like money/fame mattered) but I've never wanted a girls this much.
I don't believe in god but now I wish it's all real so I can sell my soul to the devil just to be with her for a while. That would be worth spending eternity in hell. So f#cking bummed that religion is only a fairy tail.
Honestly I've never felt this bad about my life (when I was suicidal 2 years ago I had better hopes about the future). I really wish I'd jump of a bridge and get it over with. AND I'm not a guy to get fixated on a girl EVER. Never has such a thing happened to me. And we're not even together or haven't slept together or even kissed.. I'm pretty sure if I have sex with her I'd get a heart attack.
Mostly I'm writing it down so my brain will have just a little bit of peace. I literally met my dream girl, and all those things I mentioned - I bet there are probably no other girls sharing all of those qualities.
I guess there is no real advice you can give me, except to start drinking till I pass out and go like this for a few months till my brain forgets or actually jump off that bridge.
I'm taking some sleeping pills to have some rest.
-X
In a nut shell - I met the absolute most perfect girl for me and have absolutely NO chance of seducing her..
So I've had a list of a 100 things that would make the perfect girl for me. And after 5-6 years (since I started with my list) I found her and she covers everything. And I mean everything. Considering that i made this list about looks, personality, sexuality knowing full well that all those things in a single girl are impossible. And yet
looks:
- age - 20 - check
- body type - very in shape - check
- butt - perfect shape and size - check
- skin colour - pale white (i don't like dark skin or tanned so the really white - porcelain that looks amazing and is perfect) - check
- eye colour - beautifully grey eyes - check
- hair length and type - really thick, wavy, mid back length - check
- hair colour - most amazing blue(richest most amazing full blue haired girl not looking trashy, i mean the most amazing, rich shade of blue you can imagine) - check
- lips - the perfect shape/thickness
- voice the perfect high but soft pitched
- talking exactly the way I love (using certain words and expressions)
- really funny and with great sense of humour
- silly at times and makes super cute faces
- is super sexual - I mean when she turns it on, she makes the most experienced man-killer look like a prude
- super sexually open and kinky - in conversation here are some of the toys she has: handcuffs, a few vibrators, different kinds of dildos, butt paddle cause she loves her butt slapped with it, butt plugs cause she likes a bit of anal play,
- has lots of sexy lingerie and loves wearing it
- is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend that they have sex together from time to time
- is open for everything in the bedroom from what we talked about
- the best part after sex if you make her cum 3 times she said she passes out from exhaustion and is no condition to talk, so you can just both fall asleep
- is super cute but also wildly sexy/erotic I have no idea how she mixes those two together but it drives me crazy
- she's the shy-excited type that made me fill up with so much good energy (and I'm usually very dark and look at the world as a dark place)
- there are lots of other things like her world views and future plans and ambitions but I'm not getting into those cause it'll get to long.
And here's where my horror begins:
[/size]For the past week
- it's so bad that I haven't been able to look at another girl and feel any sort of attraction.
- I passed opportunities to have sex with 2 of the girls that I'm friends with benefits and they almost begged me to fuck them.
- I can't get an erection unless I'm imagining her
- have absolutely no motivation to go out and even talk to another girl
- even tried some porn with super attractive girls... and not even an erection
- she must have literally 1000 guys approach her every single day - she's that attractive I mean she makes Victorias Secret models look like Turkish lesbians
- she has some rich guys that buy and send her expensive lingerie/jewellery. Some live in other continents and they send her this stuff..
- I see absolutely no reason why she's single - she can have a movie star probably is she wanted to
- And for the cherry on top for all of you that say: just forget it and don't get mixed with her - There is absolutely no chance that I see of me seducing her. She's just so out of my league... Maybe if I was like a billionaire with a 350 foot yacht and looked like a GQ model with a 12 inch penis and has lots of fame..
I've never really felt that I couldn't get a girl soo much(or thought that those things like money/fame mattered) but I've never wanted a girls this much.
I don't believe in god but now I wish it's all real so I can sell my soul to the devil just to be with her for a while. That would be worth spending eternity in hell. So f#cking bummed that religion is only a fairy tail.
Honestly I've never felt this bad about my life (when I was suicidal 2 years ago I had better hopes about the future). I really wish I'd jump of a bridge and get it over with. AND I'm not a guy to get fixated on a girl EVER. Never has such a thing happened to me. And we're not even together or haven't slept together or even kissed.. I'm pretty sure if I have sex with her I'd get a heart attack.
Mostly I'm writing it down so my brain will have just a little bit of peace. I literally met my dream girl, and all those things I mentioned - I bet there are probably no other girls sharing all of those qualities.
I guess there is no real advice you can give me, except to start drinking till I pass out and go like this for a few months till my brain forgets or actually jump off that bridge.
I'm taking some sleeping pills to have some rest.
-X