Sorry about the lengthy post. I read a post by stealth518, but couldn't effectively relate his situation to mine. Though they're similar(ish). Feedback/reality is appreciated.
Background, she and I met back in University. We became friends while she was dating an athlete and I focused strictly on school/life. We were friends, but nothing transpired, and became more distant as time went on. Turns out, he cheated on her for 2 years until she broke off their engagement. Athletes, lol. Fucked her up emotionally.
Fast forward, approximately a week after I move across the country to take on a risk in entrepreneurship, she unexpectedly reaches out to me. Weird, but w/ever. Over the course of the coming weeks, we really hit it off. An overall great experience just connecting with each other. Fun. Texting/phone calls/Skype, being tuned into each other's life. Good stuff. She repeatedly mentions or alludes to she wants me to be successful and go after my dreams. We began to talk about physically seeing each other, and meeting up even though we're so far away. W/ever, cool.
Things are going really well until she gets a text at like 5am from a military guy. They met before she randomly reached out to me. She confessed to him that she liked him, but he played her off as silly and making shit up in her head. But of course the text was Shakespearean garbage saying he really liked her, and if his life allowed it (he's deployed), he would want to be with her, blah blah blah. She says she's confused, and "thrown about it for how things between him and her ended." The guy is best friends with HER best friend's husband (key point), and they live in another country.
We continue our chatter/connecting for 1-2 weeks, but meeting up is never alluded to anymore. She goes off to visit [a country], and I say have a great time while you're there for the 4-5 days. I try to keep shit as 'open' as possible between us.
Until I fuck up.
While we're chatting one night she asks if I received a letter she sent me. I never did, and still haven't. I ask her to give me a synopsis of what it's about and ask if it's time sensitive, she says, "I'd rather not ha. Means nothing now lol." Then tells me her next planned trip is going to visit her best friend in the other country to "see their baby" (disclosure: they do have a baby). I suspect she'll visit when the military guy is on leave and is available. Makes sense.
So I fuck up and push for resolution trying to figure out just wtf she wants/is looking for. Apparently I put the heat on too much because she doesn't understand where "all this is coming from", and she tries to clump me with her past telling me she's been through a lot but needs to be "realistic" and isn't looking for anything complicated. Long distance is complicated to her. She still wants me to succeed and "doesn't see a reason to rush things" for fear of fucking up what we have (wtf that is, I don't know). So I tell her I need some time to clear my head and I'll talk later. She acknowledges she has zero say, so complies.
Have I been auto-rejected and used as a crutch? Like I said, I TRY to keep things open and unstructured, but I think if I continue on my present path, she'll continue to seek whatever fulfillment from me until it's time to meet military guy and really try things out with him. After her trip to [a country] she says she wants to move to another part of the world with someone and just live life away. I don't want to, but "next" seems to be the right move here.
Feedback would be awesome. Again, sorry for the length.
Background, she and I met back in University. We became friends while she was dating an athlete and I focused strictly on school/life. We were friends, but nothing transpired, and became more distant as time went on. Turns out, he cheated on her for 2 years until she broke off their engagement. Athletes, lol. Fucked her up emotionally.
Fast forward, approximately a week after I move across the country to take on a risk in entrepreneurship, she unexpectedly reaches out to me. Weird, but w/ever. Over the course of the coming weeks, we really hit it off. An overall great experience just connecting with each other. Fun. Texting/phone calls/Skype, being tuned into each other's life. Good stuff. She repeatedly mentions or alludes to she wants me to be successful and go after my dreams. We began to talk about physically seeing each other, and meeting up even though we're so far away. W/ever, cool.
Things are going really well until she gets a text at like 5am from a military guy. They met before she randomly reached out to me. She confessed to him that she liked him, but he played her off as silly and making shit up in her head. But of course the text was Shakespearean garbage saying he really liked her, and if his life allowed it (he's deployed), he would want to be with her, blah blah blah. She says she's confused, and "thrown about it for how things between him and her ended." The guy is best friends with HER best friend's husband (key point), and they live in another country.
We continue our chatter/connecting for 1-2 weeks, but meeting up is never alluded to anymore. She goes off to visit [a country], and I say have a great time while you're there for the 4-5 days. I try to keep shit as 'open' as possible between us.
Until I fuck up.
While we're chatting one night she asks if I received a letter she sent me. I never did, and still haven't. I ask her to give me a synopsis of what it's about and ask if it's time sensitive, she says, "I'd rather not ha. Means nothing now lol." Then tells me her next planned trip is going to visit her best friend in the other country to "see their baby" (disclosure: they do have a baby). I suspect she'll visit when the military guy is on leave and is available. Makes sense.
So I fuck up and push for resolution trying to figure out just wtf she wants/is looking for. Apparently I put the heat on too much because she doesn't understand where "all this is coming from", and she tries to clump me with her past telling me she's been through a lot but needs to be "realistic" and isn't looking for anything complicated. Long distance is complicated to her. She still wants me to succeed and "doesn't see a reason to rush things" for fear of fucking up what we have (wtf that is, I don't know). So I tell her I need some time to clear my head and I'll talk later. She acknowledges she has zero say, so complies.
Have I been auto-rejected and used as a crutch? Like I said, I TRY to keep things open and unstructured, but I think if I continue on my present path, she'll continue to seek whatever fulfillment from me until it's time to meet military guy and really try things out with him. After her trip to [a country] she says she wants to move to another part of the world with someone and just live life away. I don't want to, but "next" seems to be the right move here.
Feedback would be awesome. Again, sorry for the length.
it's so important.