Think you suck at PU? Quit focusing on your bad experiences!

[Mr.Rob]

How many of you have multiple Lay Reports, FR+'s, number closes that led to a date, or just good cold approach interactions where things went well?

What about times you've gotten clear AI's or compliments from women telling you your attractive or sexy?

What about girls that have chased you in your past?

We can probably all say we've had some degree of these successes, yet a lot of us that aren't Jedi Master Seducers still have thoughts of self doubt wondering if we're actually attractive to women or good at PU in general.

Maybe we just haven't gotten completely over our insecurities or had enough success yet, right?

Idk what it is for sure but I remember thinking "as soon as I get my first lay report I know I won't have A.A. anymore because I'll have proof that women are attracted to me and rejection won't matter".

Funny enough after my first lay report I went out and found I had just as much A.A. as the previous day. "WTF!!!" I was still wondering if girls thought I was attractive, after all it was only 1 LR. Then I thought "as soon as I get my 2nd lay report then I'll know for sure that I'm attractive!".

2nd LR happened and I went out the following night to chat up some girls and literally only made 1 approach.... wuss!

You get the drift.

So what I did was I looked back on the past year and 4 months of my seduction journey and wrote down every positive result that I produced through my skills along with every bold move I made (i.e. trying to kiss a girl within 2 min. of talking to her or the time I thought the girl would reject me and I gave her a manhandle kiss like a boss).

What this did for me is it reinforced that, YES I actually am capable of pulling this shit off, YES I am a man that makes bold sexy moves, YES I do have a lot of fucking potential, and YES I do go after what I want in life.

Since then my creeping thoughts of self doubt are more easily defeated because I can just pull up my sheet of every sexual impact that I've made on women and how their lives were better for me being in their life.

I have proof that I'm a fucking badass that women love (or at least in the makings of) and that yes I shouldn't think about what any one girl thinks about me if I get rejected. Well clearly she didn't have as good of taste as the women I've left my mark on and inspired.

On the flip side now that I know I'm capable of massively enhancing the lives of women I feel obligated to share this gift.

As Ricardus said "It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it!"

I recommend everyone that's not a super boss at seduction to do this exercise, especially if you still have some insecurity or self doubt.

I'm stealing this idea from Liam McRae's blog btw, so this isn't original from me.

List out all the times women have shown interest towards you (even if it was just a fleeting smile).

Next list out all the times you've ever manned up and put yourself on the line and displayed your attraction boldly/honestly (anything from a cold approach you did with a lot of A.A. to even asking for a girls number (if your more of a beginner) to going for the kiss (in a dominant way) to pulling a girl home).

If you do this you now have a list that proves your attractive/capable of being/becoming a bold and sexy seducer and you can tell your ego to suck a dick when it trys to tell you your no good.

Keep it pimpin gentlemen.

 

[Marty]

Useful thread, Rob!

I remember thinking "as soon as I get my first lay report I know I won't have A.A. anymore because I'll have proof that women are attracted to me and rejection won't matter".

What's really interesting if you read NarrowJ's compilation of field reports is that he got three cold approach lays while still suffering from approach anxiety. It means that the later portions of his game must have been very finely polished early on. I had put approach anxiety mostly behind me long before getting my first cold approach lay; the opening is easy enough for me, but from my perspective, game gets progressively harder as the interaction plays out each time.

-Marty

 

[Fan7as7icMrFox]

I actually love this thread, well put!

I'm still suffering the AA bitch butterflies, to me, that's the biggest hurdle. Once I'm talking to a girl and I know she's attracted to me, I'm quite consistent, but the opening, that's where, even after reading and implementing what I've read and learnt here, I'm still struggling.

The last 2 day's I've gone out with the intention of approaching, and each day I've wussed out like a little bitch and gone home kicking myself for not acting on the IOI's, or stopping the really sexy girl and saying "Hi".

I'm going to do this, I'm going to write down the names of all the women I've slept with (well, the handful I actually remember, anyway!) and a list of the successful things I've done since reading this material, and memorizing it, and I'm also going to do the opposite, I'm going to write down a list of all the times I've tried to open a girl and a seriously bad thing has happened, now I'm not talking a rejection or getting called a name, I'm talking getting slapped or beaten by her feller, I already know which is the shorter list, then I'm going to think back to both these lists the next time I get AA and think "well, evidently I've more success than serious fuck ups, what's the worst that could happen?!"

That should get me to realise nothing bad is going to happen!

 

[Smith]

Hey Rob,
I'm glad you're posting this.
Since you follow Liam Mcrae's blog, I don't know if you follow John Cooper's videos because they work together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6kh0qLBqXY

In this video, he talked about how at one point in his life, the pickup community is holding him back and how you should also get out of it in the end so you don't lose yourself.
In the video, he said the reason that we have approach anxiety is because we come from a place of taking. We want something from the girl, e.g. her number, sex..etc so we're afraid of getting rejected when we approach them. But if you approach a girl with the primary intention of giving, e.g. giving the girl a good time while entertaining yourself, then it's really not rejection when you get 'rejected'. Her number and everything else is secondary. I think this is the true meaning of outcome independent.

So yes, stop focusing on the bad experiences, and start enjoying yourself on this incredible journey! Don't 'approach' girls, instead invite them into your reality and don't overcomplicate things with little steps. When you see it this way, PU is fun!

Smith

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yeah Smith that was a cool video I watched that not too long ago.

"Expectation creates hesitation"

N yeah I think he was coming more or less from a mainstream PU culture (that GC isn't) and how using routines, lines, and manipulation or taking value away in general is really, well, lame.

I never really can say I've ever wanted to come from a place of taking but when you start out in complete scarcity it's kind of hard not to you know. You just crawl the fuck out of scarcity and eventually you get to the point where you realize "Hey! I actually do provide women with a lot of value!" and that was kind of the point of why I wrote this post.

Not that I'm in abundance, still working towards that, but I'm definitely a lot closer to it than I was a year ago.

Whats interesting that I've noticed ever since I saw that video (because I thought it quite intriguing and cool concept) is that all the BEST seduction teachers (think GC, Natural Lifestyles, RSD) teach you to GIVE value rather than take. Even if they don't say it that way it's still an underlying principle.

For example Chase teaches having good fundamentals (value cause your sexy), deep diving/building an emotional connection, and giving women multiple orgasms. Even though Chase never really says "go out with the frame of mind to give" it's pretty hard do all this stuff and come from a place of taking. Even if you are coming from a place of taking and yet you still hit all those areas competently, or even just a couple, you're still providing massive value.

Good point out. Hopefully someone will see that video you inserted and get a new perspective.