OR Thursday Night Struggle

[Chrance]

My goals for the night were:
(1) Practice 3 second rule / Approach immediately
(2) Approach 12 sets
(3) Slow my talking down to be more relaxed

I went out from 11:00AM to 12:30PM. I was feeling pretty good about myself since I took a nap beforehand, then chugged some coffee after waking. I started out by going to Bar A, which is a dive bar. There were so few people there it didn't seem worth the effort. I left after a few minutes, passed by Club B, which is an actual dance club that I go to a little too regularly on Thursdays, and even Saturdays, so I decided to mix things up and passed by it without entering even though it was apparent there was some action going on within, made evident by the line forming outside. Often when I see this action outside I get this aching feeling in my gut that I will be missing out if I go elsewhere instead of there. But part of my goals for 2020 is mixing up the clubs I'm going to, since I believe I've become too venue-dependent; so I continued on despite the brief flaring emotions of potential regret.

I drove to Bar C. Here there was a good number of people, including a fight outside lmao. Walking in, I went to the bathroom first to check myself out, make sure my hair was in order, etc. Then leaving the bathroom, I went around to find my first set. All the sets appeared occupied. However, I did see a 2-set strutting to the dance floor. I decided to wait (mistake!!!) until they were closer nearby or until I could think of something to actually say. After about 30 minutes of me looking around for a set I was actually interested in, dancing on the dance floor a bit, going to the bar, back and forth and so on - after this time passed the 2-set popped up magically beside me. Within that brief moment I had the opportunity to approach! However, I hesitated again. This time it was due to me getting a closer look and not being 100% certain how I felt about the two girls. I wanted to give myself more time to think about whether they were worth approaching at all. Inevitably, this caused me to not approach whatsoever! Another guy ended up leaping in, which eventually chased them off to another corner in the bar. I didn't feel very motivated to make an approach, despite them being available again. Now I could see the bar was beginning to clear out. Lacking motivation to continue, given that it is a Thursday night and I rarely ever have motivation on a Thursday night due to work in the morning and an ever-looming feeling of self-doubt over my shoulder that only exists on this specific night of the week for some reason - given all this, I called it quits and went home.

I should have approached the two set with "Hey, what is that thing on your arm?" Since she had an interesting looking tattoo (I think it was a tattoo) on her arm, followed by "Ah, ok. Yeah I wasn't sure if it was a bruise to be honest. Hopefully that doesn't throw off your whole night. You guys seem pretty cool and all so I wouldn't want that. Ruining someone's night isn't cool. So what brings you guys out here tonight? Is it like girls night out or something?" and then ad libbed from there.

So no approaches for tonight. Goddammit. I will be going on a date (movie at my place) with a virgin tomorrow, a virgin whose been a huge pain in my ass to lay for all of December. Hopefully We'll see an LR! Saturday I will continue with the same goals as tonight, but I would like to practice some routines/material, which I still need to figure out. To be honest, lately I've been having some self doubt as to what I need to practice when I sarge due to an internal conflict between (a) wanting to get results pronto and (b) wanting to improve my skill; but this is all for another time.

- Chrance

 

[cruiser]

Hey
Cool for going out, seems like you’re a bit nervous. What I will do at times is talk to the bar tender or the staff at times to get some momentum going. Even if it’s small dull boring talk. The guy who gets the most girls is the guy who is having a lot of fun!

I wouldn’t focus on too many routines, you’re over thinking it. A simple hi can even do it.

 

[Chrance]

"I wouldn’t focus on too many routines, you’re over thinking it. A simple hi can even do it."

You're right my man. For some reason, in the moment, this basic fact flies over my head. I think I get overly concerned with "This set needs to be a good one" or "I need to try something good with this set", then I end up bitching out all night.

Thursday nights really should be the night where I unwind from the week and get my mouth moving.

 

[cruiser]

what’s your motivation to talking to new girls?

you’re just seeing if you even get along. Somethings I say when I can’t think of anything clever is just

hey! I’m bob!

and then your conversation skills fly from there. Sounds like you have some ground work to do.

there’s a great article on here called how to be a conversationalist I would read the fuck out of that.

I want you to do this. When you go do some errands this weekend.Talk to everyone. Old, fat, cashier, and just get some small talk going.

 

[Eternity]

Just focus on talking. Warming up your tongue... talk to the guys there, the staff ect. Then once you get into a social mood start talking to the girls. Ask the simplest things like
"does this place get packed often?"
"How are the drinks?"
How's the talent around here (girls)?"
"What you think of this music ect?"
"What's another hot spot in this town?"

I would focus on that virgin pussy. Practice your escalation and kinoing. Also on how to make her cum ( there's a Chase article on this) She don't know any better lol. Still, being more social in the night is more of your sticking point. Just dont stress yourself up about it practice makes perfect. The bars and the thots ain't going nowhere...

 

[Chrance]

what’s your motivation to talking to new girls?

you’re just seeing if you even get along. Somethings I say when I can’t think of anything clever is just

hey! I’m bob!

and then your conversation skills fly from there. Sounds like you have some ground work to do.

there’s a great article on here called how to be a conversationalist I would read the fuck out of that.

I want you to do this. When you go do some errands this weekend.Talk to everyone. Old, fat, cashier, and just get some small talk going.

I see where you're coming from, but I actually don't have any big problems with small talk in general, even with chicks. I actually small talk and joke around with strangers a lot. But tonight I locked up. I think I was being more lazy than nervous, like going to the gym but not wanting to go that hard. It really just depends on the circumstance. Some sets are so easy to open psychologically for me. Like tonight, there was a girl out with a guy and she was wearing a cool jacket; if that guy wasn't there it would have been so natural for me to say, "Yo, what's up. Your jacket is pretty badass, what the hell. Why are you trying to look so fluffy?" Other times, its like running through a brick wall trying to get myself to open, especially when the set is all the way across the room and I have to hike over there; or if I saw the woman earlier but didn't approach, so now my head starts spinning to think of something cool.

Saturday night I'll make sure to warm up with the lines Eternity posted (thanks man! I feel like an idiot for not thinking of these!), but in my experience warm ups by talking to people who are not babes (i.e. random dudes, ugly chicks, bartenders or bouncers) can be a hit or miss for me. I'm a little suspicious of "warming up" through talking to people who are not babes. Sometimes, like alchohol, it can bring confidence and joy; other times, it can result in me talking to somebody who I don't really even care listening to, wasting my time.

I guess I'm a little torn up with how much I need to really socialize with strangers in order to build the confidence to approach. I'm not completely against it, just skeptical. Deep down, I'm out there to pull a chick, not to talk to random people. Random strangers get me sidetracked. I end up passing up chicks. That and, even when I'm socializing with strangers who are not women, there is still the subconscious awareness at the back of my mind that I am there for a distinct purpose: babes. Everything else is just a means to that end.

Personally, at this point in my game, I'm trying to open with more stimulating material (i.e. "hey, your dress is actually pretty cool. it looks like a beach." <== this isn't meant to be funny, her dress did look like a sandy beach) when possible outside of say "Hey, I'm Chrance," even though I still do that on occasion. I've been trying to drift away from a lot of direct openers, although I still do them from time to time. Because of this, I get overly creative with the opener that I end up shooting my own foot so to speak. It is a problem.

- Chrance

 

[cruiser]

I see where you're coming from, but I actually don't have any big problems with small talk in general, even with chicks. I actually small talk and joke around with strangers a lot. But tonight I locked up. I think I was being more lazy than nervous, like going to the gym but not wanting to go that hard. It really just depends on the circumstance. Some sets are so easy to open psychologically for me. Like tonight, there was a girl out with a guy and she was wearing a cool jacket; if that guy wasn't there it would have been so natural for me to say, "Yo, what's up. Your jacket is pretty badass, what the hell. Why are you trying to look so fluffy?" Other times, its like running through a brick wall trying to get myself to open, especially when the set is all the way across the room and I have to hike over there; or if I saw the woman earlier but didn't approach, so now my head starts spinning to think of something cool.
- Chrance

right so even when you feel locked out saying hi can just get the momentum moving, it's a limiting belief you have. Try it

 

[Chrance]

right so even when you feel locked out saying hi can just get the momentum moving, it's a limiting belief you have. Try it

This isn’t what I implied in that paragraph. I was simply saying that sometimes it is easier to open, other times it is harder psychologically. No “saying hi” to keep momentum. But I see what you mean. However, use of “limited belief” might not be the proper term.